Could we discuss "figure flattery?" - YouLookFab Forum

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Could we discuss "figure flattery?"

Aziraphale

Veteran

There has been a lot of talk lately about boyfriend jeans and figure flattery. I get the impression that the general opinion is that loose jeans create an unflattering saggy butt effect. But I have to confess, I've always liked the look. While it's true that most of my jeans fit my backside quite closely (skinny/straight jeans don't really work any other way), I still really like jeans that are loose enough that it's clear they would fall right off if it were not for the artfully positioned hip-slung belt. For me, jeans don't have to cling to the rear end to be flattering. It's just a different look.

This got me thinking: how personal is the concept of figure flattery? Do we all have our own set of rules? Or are there some universal truths?

Dressing

23 replies

Latest reply was from teeandcee

ironkurtin

Veteran

I think it is very personal. There are general rules like, "If a pair of jeans makes you look like you are wearing a diaper, that is not flattering" - but the idea of what, exactly, makes you look like you are wearing a diaper may vary from person to person. Although that is obviously an extreme example.

merwoman

Veteran

Not to digreess totally - but back to the BF jeans for a minute. Even though they may not be "classically flattering" - I feel sexy in them, and my SO commented very positively on them. So maybe there are universal rules...but as always, there are exceptions to these rules.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

I have discussed this on the blog many times, and here are some posts:

http://youlookfab.com/2010/08/.....lattering/

http://youlookfab.com/2012/03/.....-tradeoff/

http://youlookfab.com/2011/06/.....to-expose/

http://youlookfab.com/2011/04/.....team-back/

YOU have to determine your OWN figure flattering priorities.

For example, I'm not worried about the position of back jeans pockets, having a perky bottom, or cinching in my waistline. But I am extremely pedantic about the way things fit in front on the crotch point, and how clothing shortens your leg line. And remember that I bat for Team Flats, Team Midi and Team High Vamp

Mo

(website)

Veteran

Okay, here is my example. I'll let the pictures speak for themselves
(since the other jean pics were last year, I put in my black satin trousers taken a week apart from the BF's, just in case I gained or lost since last year)

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Irene

Veteran

I think boyfriend jeans are as sexy on a woman as a man shirt can be. It is sexy because it is an unexpected turn, and it's fun in the sense that it breaks the common/popular rules. That doesn't mean it's flattering though. What flatters and what doesn't does not only depend on the item itself either, it depends also on the body. I look awful in trapeze dresses but many flat or nealy flat chested slim women pull them off beautifully.

Is it subjective? I think it's both objective and subjective. Proportions play a big role, just like in everything that is visual. For instance, photography has its own rules about how you should and should not compose a portrait: do not cut hands/feet, do not center eyes, leave space at the side the subject is looking to... However, if you break those rules on purpose, the outcome can be really interesting, edgy, different and risky, and that's because it will unsettle the viewer because that's not what he/she is expecting. That's exactly what happens with boyfriend jeans. They are normally not flattering because they shorten the leg, therefore twitching 'attractive/normal proportions', and they flatten the average butt, but they are cool nevertheless

I say break the rules on purpose and you'll look 'cool and like you know it'. Break them unkowingly and it's a faux pas.

Mo, I like you better in the tighter fit, but I you probably look more fun in the BF

catgirl

Veteran

I've realized that for me, there is a difference between "figure flattering" and just "flattering". For example, the silhouette below is not figure flattering by any means, in the sense that it totally obsures my upper half, but I still feel it's flattering, and I am always drawn to these looks in catalogs and mags.

Also agree with Merwoman that BF jeans make me feel sexy, and I like them on others too. Again, not the general male definition of sexy (tight!), but my own version of sassy, defiant, tough, cool, whatever.

I do aim not to emphasize what I consider my flaws (apple belly, lack of hips or waist), and that's enough figure flattery for me.

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Mo

(website)

Veteran

Una, I think that I share the idea of not wanting to emphasize what I consider my figure flaws - but mine are thick upper thighs. This BF style obviously does not help my figure in this area. I think on that we can all agree. Now, if I wear a loose flowing top that obscures my waist it is not flattering in the traditional way, but I'm totally okay with that.
I wonder if we all have some flattery rules we will happily toss and others we dare not cross lol.

Gaylene

Veteran

My thinking is similar to Lemonade's. There is "flattering" and "figure-flattering". To me, "figure-flattering" is when you dress to highlight what you like best about your body and minimize what you like least. The "rules" for different figure types are usually concerned with this type of flattery. Body-conscious clothing is sometimes included in this category, especially when talking about fitting jeans. Although, personally, I think tight-fitting jeans are not always as "figure-flattering" as some might want to believe--but that's another issue.

"Flattering" to my mind, however, is a much broader concept. It can include figure-flattering garments, but it can also extend to garments that "fit" your personality, image, attitude, and the like. This is the type of flattery that we are aiming for when we deliberately wear a loose-fitting, slouchy jean that appears to be held up only by a wide belt, or an unstructured trapeze dress, or a loose-fitting top with leggings-- or similar outfit. It's the personality or "vibe" that our outfit imparts which, if it suits us, makes the overall impression flattering.

Transcona Shannon

Veteran

Gaylene - I could not have said it any better!

unfrumped

Veteran

I think the hardest lesson to learn is that figure-hiding is not the same as figure-flattering. Hiding is not the same as de-emphazing and not the same as highlighting a best feature. When you work too hard to "hide" a body part you will often come across worse. Although there are a lot of maddening parts of the WNTW shows (and I don't have cable, so I've only seen some on you tube), this is one area in which I think they make good points and give good examples. Also they show that people/we can often not figure this out for ourselves because we're so timid or brow-beaten into the perfect female form mystique and our images of ourselves are different from how others perceive us, but when they can actually show the person, in person, she can get the picture.

velvetychocolate

Veteran

As someone with a plump, hourglass-ish body shape, I am better off with waist-defining tops, dresses and the like. Thing is? Sometimes there is just too much "va va voom" for my comfort level, and as a result, I actually feel a bit awkward. So while something like baggy boyfriend jeans or a slouchy blouse isn't all that flattering on my body, I feel more comfortable, and more at ease. Call me crazy, but when I put on something that isn't the typical "flattering" thing for my body shape, I feel taller, I feel slimmer, I feel more confident. Very strange, but it's true!

I don't know if it's just me, but I don't always want to look "va va voom" or bombshell. Sometimes I might like to look sleek, tall or even possibly veering on willowy (ha! wishful thinking) - which isn't my true shape at all. If I throw on GAP's really skinny black pants, and a tunic style top, along with comfortable flat riding boots - I actually feel better in this than I do with a waist-defining wrap dress, a pencil skirt, or following any of the usual style guidelines for flattering my particular shape.

In the end, I vote for what makes you feel fab, what makes you feel 'at-ease' and confident.

Jonesy

Veteran

Such fun comments to read! I agree with lots of what's been said already. There is really something to be said for feeling like "yourself"--you will exude confidence and flair, which is super flattering in the general sense Gaylene is talking about.

Mo, about those jeans in pic 1: I wonder if you needed to size up a size to get a slouchier fit? These sort of just give off the vibe of poorly fitting jeans with weirdly large pockets, not really BFs, which is maybe why you thought they looked so bad, especially compared to your perky pants :)!

Mo

(website)

Veteran

Jonesy, I haven't given up hope yet. But those were jean delivery #5 I think (and the credit card bill was bursting waiting for credits on returns, with each jean being well over $100!). I was just done at that point.
Incidentally, that pic is gonna self destruct pretty soon lol

Jonesy

Veteran

Yes, the order-online-and-return merry go round is a tough place to be sometimes! It just gets exhausting!

Aziraphale

Veteran

Sorry, did a bit of a post and run yesterday. Thank you all for responding. I think I see what you are saying about the difference between -- well, I guess for lack of a better term, "objectively flattering" (looks good to everyone) versus "subjectively flattering" (appealing to the wearer for personal reasons, despite deviating from the standard).

I guess I'm still wondering, however, if there really is such a thing as an objectively flattering look. In other words, can certain clothes really look good to *everyone*? We are not all attracted to exactly the same thing. I mean, I think it's true that the generally favoured silhouette, in this place and time at least, seems to be the shapely, slender hourglass, and clothes that are considered flattering are ones that make us approximate that shape (if we aren't already that shape). I myself tend to shy away from clothing that makes me appear blockier, heavier, or too straight through the middle. But one person's idea of the perfect hourglass might be someone else's idea of too boyish, right?

Back to the boyfriend jeans. In the case of baggy boyfriend jeans, I guess they're considered "not flattering" because they obscure the curves of a woman's bottom, and make her appear less shapely. But I personally prefer a less shapely, more androgynous look. I'm always trying to downplay my bust and I'm not usually drawn to clothing that looks va-va-voom (although I can appreciate the look on others), which explains why I like the look of baggy jeans so much. They "slenderize the hourglass", to more closely approximate my own personal preference.

I'm having trouble putting my ideas into words this morning.

velvetychocolate

Veteran

You did a great job putting your thoughts into words! Makes perfect sense to me.

You were saying:

"I'm not usually drawn to clothing that looks va-va-voom (although I can appreciate the look on others), which explains why I like the look of baggy jeans so much. They "slenderize the hourglass", to more closely approximate my own personal preference."

Exactly! I feel like this too sometimes. I would also prefer to slenderize/slouch-i-fy the hourglass aspect from time to time.

Mo

(website)

Veteran

I would argue that playing down an hourglass shape still can be seeking one's own flattering ideal, whereas none of us wants to emphasize what we don't like. ITs probably do not want to emphasize their shoulders, nor do pears want to wear jodhpur jeans. Apples don't seek to make their waists larger. See what I'm saying? On me, that BF jean is saying, hey look at this big ol' ba dunka dunk I got following me around. Una's on the other hand, as she herself put it, hint at what might be underneath. Mine were not flattering in any version of the term, while hers were. Just my point of view, of course.

catgirl

Veteran

Mo, it's true, I find BF jeans flattering on me because they even out my top and bottom half by putting some volume on the hips and booty. So maybe they ARE figure flattering for me.

*confused*

I'm curious to hear thoughts about my floral jeans silhouette. Where does that kind of look fall in the scheme of things? If flattering, why? If not, why not?

Gaylene

Veteran

I totally agree with Mo's comment about "seeking your own flattering ideal". One person's flattering ideal could be to emphasize her hourglass curves with body conscious clothing , while person's flattering ideal could be to dress her hourglass curves in looser fitting garments that just hint at what lies below.

That's why I think that that personality, image, and attitude are as essential to the concept of "flattery" as is the more commonly accepted notion of dressing according to a set of body shape "rules". For example, if you are uncomfortable with accentuating your waist-hip ratio in certain situations, clothing that highlights that aspect of your body will make you feel uncomfortable when you wear it under those circumstances. Others who see you in that outfit are likely to pick up on, and react, to your discomfort. That sense of discomfort in both the wearer and the observer is why we call some outfits "unflattering", or "trying too hard", or "fashion victim", or other negatives.

I also think that, if someone truly believes that she looks fantastic in something, eventually others readjust their perceptions and begin to accept the new look as "flattering"-- at least, on that person. For example, Angie's harem pants and jodhpurs jeans were not universally deemed "flattering" when she first debuted them. But, the eye adjusts, and now many of us have begun to view those garments in a more positive light, and may even perceive them as "flattering", at least when Angie wears them on her body. Whether or not harem pants and jodhpurs jeans would be perceived as "flattering" if worn by us is probably more dependent on our own feelings once we put them on our own bodies than any conventional rules of figure flattery.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Such an interesting discussion!

Una, as far as your outfit is concerned, I think it's flattering, objectively as well as subjectively. No, it doesn't make you look like an hourglass. It highlights some of your loveliest features. The V neckline is very attractive on you. The dark floaty sweater suggests but does not INSIST on your curves beneath. The flowered trousers show off your lovely slim legs. There is a column of colour (more or less) making you appear tall. So it disguises what you (or others) MIGHT consider your "flaws" (broad shoulders - which I actually consider something of a virtue, short height, apple tummy - which, by the way, I have NEVER seen on you!). And it also emphasizes what you like about your figure and what others might like as well. Perfection!

Put that outfit on me, and what do you have? Well...the V neck exposes my bony chest. The fabric just SWIMS around up top because I have nothing to fill it out. Instead of draping around my hips, the top clings to them. Meanwhile, the pants emphasize my muscular thighs and short legs, making them look bigger. My strong points -- clean shoulder line, relatively slender waist, not-horrible bum -- are completely obscured. And my worst points are broadcast for all to see.

Alas...because I love the look and would love to wear it! LOL.

teeandcee

I was thinking about this thread yesterday as I tried on jeans to create my own boyfriend jeans. I found myself thinking "It's my body. Mine. I do believe I have the right to dress it however I like." This is a new and refreshing concept for me at the ripe old age of 45 (thank you Dr. M, my wonderful therapist!). So I bought myself some big 'ol baggy jeans to distress and cuff to that awful unflattering length. Woo!

Una, I find your ensemble extremely flattering. The floral jeans add some volume visually to balance out the top then the black heels add height/bookending along with.....can't think of the right words.....the "clunkiness" of the shoes balance out the top also (delicate shoes would look odd in other words). The result is the eye travels top to bottom and back again without really hanging at any one point IMO. If I saw you in real life I'd immediately think "magazine stylish" and "daring" and file it away to recreate at home. IRL I may take time to compliment you if I was feeling not-too-shy.

Anonymous

Wear them happily!

It's not an unflattering length though --- it is just a length. Clothing is just as much a cultural construction as anything, if you like it, then that is the most important thing!

The world is just a collection of arbitrary rules!

teeandcee

Ceit, so true! It is all subjective really, especially when one views art from long ago. I'd be a super model back then.