Convergent, directional style evolution?

For those of you with a long-term significant other: do you find that your styles have converged?

When I met my husband, we were both undergrads at a decidedly left-leaning university, and I was a student of biology, the most granola of the science disciplines. It was the early nineties, at the height of the grunge phenomenon. It's not hard to picture what we looked like. Sartorially, he straddled the line between Seattle grunge and California surf style in his baggy cargo pants, shaggy grown-out hair, backwards newsboy cap and hooded sweatshirt/thrift store wool cardigan. I looked like a sort of hippie-grunge-flower child, complete with lumberjack socks, cascading sun-streaked hair and devil's sticks. We didn't dress quite the same, but there was an overriding casual, grungy element to the era that showed up in both our styles.

Neither of us dress remotely like that now, but recently I'm noticing that we've evolved in the same direction, and now resemble each other closely, style-wise. I don't think this was intentional, but we must have influenced each other. Have you noticed this with your SO?

12 years ago

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Not exactly.

My hubs is considerably older than me. When I met him, he dressed "preppy professorial."

I would say he STILL dresses that way, but since I've joined YLF he has upped his style ante. Instead of shopping at LL Bean or Land's End, he is buying from Banana Republic. And he gets his button downs from England. And he bought a pile of stuff in New York when we were there last. And when the FedEx guy comes to our house, it is mostly for HIS stuff, not mine!!

As for me, well, I really didn't have a style. Grad student grasping...bits of vintage. Jeans. Jackets were always a staple. Comfortable chelsea booties.

Still love the jeans and jackets and chelsea boots - those have been the constants.

transition

Active Member

Just Friday, he picked me up from the airport. I was wearing a light grey suit with a dark pink shell; he was wearing a brown plaid flannel shirt covering overalls. The waitress immediately assumed we wanted separate checks and didn't think I'd share my food with him when he asked. . . . and we've been married for almost 15 years.

But we didn't really start the same either.

Not really. Except that I am coming around to his way of quality over quantity. He's more conservative in general than I am. I think we both enjoy looking nice to go out together. I don't have to ask him to dress up, he willingly dons sportcoats and dress shirts.

rachylou

No. We each have personalities that are far too brittle to change and blend like that, hehe.

Except, I suppose, we both wear large uncool sunhats bought, like, at the hardware store. My neighbor laughs at our uncool cool.

Janet

Heh. My husband and I have evolved together. When we met in the late 90s, he was an unemployed musician taking an extended break from corporate America, living on his boat with his dog. You can imagine the accompanying wardrobe. I was working as a book designer in a casual office, and 90% of my shoes were black.

He later went back into the corporate world and eventually launched a business, so his style took a leap forward, and also became much more based around his professional wardrobe. He started getting shirts custom made because he is very tall and difficult to fit.

Well, now he's scaled back his suit-wearing days and is dressing in more casual styles, so we're both in a casual stylistic place. He has nudged me into higher-priced, higher-quality items, whereas I was almost exclusively a bargain shopper when we met. We laugh that he owns Prada shoes and I do not!

rebekahphoto

for the MR and myself, I do see our styles converging a little, a result of our lifestyle and interests changing and evolving.

When we met 13 years ago, we were both more urban, busy and a bit more dressy. For him that was a wardrobe of more fitted clothing, lots of black. High maintenance fabrics. For me it was eclectic vintage, leather, lots of skirts & boots, not much gear.

Since then, we have become more a bit more focused and domestic. We have gone from drinking martinis in a bar to brewing our own beer & liqueurs; from renting to owning, & gardening & building things. From starving artists to gourmet cooks (which has also lead to a slow + of 30 lbs each--definite wardrobe affect!)

Our wardrobes have become a bit more casual, many of the designer duds are cut too small or narrow (for the fuller figures!) and so we have adapted there too.
Men's Carharts & ll bean are a bit more forgiving than J crew & Prada.
We both appreciate quality in clothing, well made items that last.

I think I have influenced him to try a mix of more working classics and to add some color, and he has influenced me to pare down my wardrobe, and to find pieces that really work for my lifestyle to have comfort, wear-abilty and style, all in one! Its no fun to be traveling europe or camping and worrying or complaining about shoes that hurt or coats that leak!

Caro in Oz

My husband is a true classic dresser so no we will never fit that way. Where I have influenced him is in choosing the best quality we can afford & he is totally hooked.

Vildy

My husband is outdoorsy (though we live in the city but he does work outdoors at the airport).
He was outdoorsy when we met. His clothes have become more and more techy. He doesn't look his age and is very fit. I am a lot more bombshell. We probably never look like we know each other. His idea of a great looking woman is this - he once showed me the picture!: (and it's who you think it is)

ETA: to be fair, I guess I had that (non) hair style when we met

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Classically Casual

Hubs & I have never dressed alike, and still don't, but more & more we've come to resemble our dog. He's a Yorkie mix with flyaway hair of various colors including grey, that often hangs in his eyes. We are definitely from the same tribe.

rae

Short answer... not really. He has a sporty core, and I have a steampunk core.

Long answer... well, we met when I was 19 and he was 30. He was very set in his ways as a 90s-era skater/surfer/beck-meets-cobain-style rocker. I was, on the other hand, rather impressionable, and still in a heavy experimentation phase, style-wise. I emulated his style for a few years, but it never felt 100% like me. He has had some growing pains as I found my own way (BF jeans, boots instead of sneakers), and I've had my growing pains as he's evolved (heavy influx of comic book tees over concert tees). I think, all in all, we keep one another from being too extreme (him geeky, me weird).

I did not know Hillary was that cute! She was the speaker at my graduation. Smart as a whip.

Aziraphale

Wow, looks like I am the only one. To really converge with my partner, that is. Huh. I would have thought it would be more the rule than the exception. Mind you, small sample size.

Vildy, your husband has good taste -- I love Hillary! And she is awfully cute in that picture. LOOK at those pants -- who'd have thought?

Sarah A

E. I think i am with you. Ive always liked classic looks but the preppy and upping the ante for quality is totally a style convergence with DH. I think i am a trying to unconverge a little right now will see where i end up!

Molly L-R

We have been together ten years and we are completely different people from who we used to be. We both look kind of... old fashioned now. I feel at my best when I'm wearing a skirt and like to feel that our styles complement each other and we look as if we "belong together". I get a kick out of the fact that we're both eccentric in different ways. Neither of us were built for the 21st century. Our living room is dominated by my collection of taxidermy and a record player that only plays 78's (by the way, we're both in our 20s!)

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