Contributing to the short hair/long hair debate... - YouLookFab Forum

Category

General

Welcome! Read about what to wear and how to wear it on the YLF Blog. Join the YLF Forum to ask specific questions or just chat about fashion and personal style. Or check out the curated list of things we love in YLF Finds.

Outfits Ensembles Trends Advice

Contributing to the short hair/long hair debate...

Runcarla

Veteran

Interesting article on the short hair/long hair debate.

https://www.psychologytoday.co.....attractive

General

33 replies

Latest reply was from Phoebe1

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Such an interesting read, Carla! I was entertained

I believe that some women and men look best with short hair, and some women and men look best with longer hair. No generalizations.

The men I am in the company of believe the same thing. There are no generalizations about preferring long hair on women - and I'm thrilled about that.

Personally, I've had short hair for a large part of my life. You are as female/male, and as alluring/attractive as you feel and project from within. I feel "me" and confident with short hair. It's that simple!

Runcarla

Veteran

Totally agree, Angie. As the writer concluded, you have to be comfortable in your own hair (or skin)!

Style Fan

Veteran

Interesting. Mr SF likes very stylized out there hair. The kind that you see on salon pictures but never on the streets. I suspect he prefers shorter hair.
I don't think I would change my hair for my partner. I have to like the style and I have to take care of it.

Style Fan

Veteran

I agree with what Angie said. I have to feel like me.

Anonymous

I agree . To me though, it's all about how you keep that hair cut, styled and maintained that makes as much of a difference as the length. Long, straggly, rarely-cut hair with no discernible style does nothing for anyone , and neither does a too-short cut done by an unskilled stylist. Regardless of what you choose, I believe you must own it and put some effort into it. Yes, I'm the hair monitor of the bunch .

Runcarla

Veteran

@Stylefan - I’m with Mr. SF! I love styled hair. Give me dredds, braids, knots, twists, chignons, ballerina buns, beehives, ponytails, bouffants, undercuts, buzzed, retro, Boho, asymmetry, natural, unnatural, etc. I’m a big fan of men’s grooming, too! I am hair obsessed and I LOVE the diversity that occurs when people use their hair for self expression.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

It has to feel right to the wearer. And what suits us is more about face shape, features, hair texture, and personality than gender or any other factor!

DonnaF

Veteran

Back in the late ‘60s/early ‘70s, I had very long hair parted in the middle, like Cher, Joni Mitchell, Janis Joplin and who knows who else. My hair was too thick and heavy to put up, wear in a pony tail or do much else with it. After a couple of years I had it chopped off into a bob because I realized I was attracting (white) guys who had a fetish for Asian women. They weren’t really seeing me but were seeing some idealized (to them) version of what they wanted. Ugh! So yes, my personal can also be political. And I did grow out my hair past my shoulders in later years after I was married. My choice. Always my choice.

bj1111

Veteran

I’ve always had shoulder length or longer hair except the two times I lost all my hair. The first time I grew it back out. The second time it stuck. Mr bj1111 and his positive feedback helped immensely with accepting and loving my new do

hereforthecake

Like you, Runcarla, I am hair obsessed!
I've come to realize that I have my own biases regarding women's hair length.

I feel that women with (styled) short hair are stronger and more confident. I've always thought this.

Of course it's completely ridiculous. My bias isn't any more reasonable than any other, but there it is.

deb

Veteran

Fun thread, Carla!! DonnaF, I too had center parted long hair (but with blunt cut bangs) In the 60's and 70's. I went from hair almost to my bottom to a pixie in the late 70's and loved it. I wore it short in many variations until my 50's when I got a burr up my butt and decided to let it grow. I am now 65 and I keep my hair in a blunt cut to the middle of my back. I have very few grey hairs and consider my hair as one of my best assets. As far as the attraction factor of hair length, I do not think it matters. It is all in attitude and presentation.

Joy

Veteran

To me, a woman's hair style has to look fabulous on her. It is not really about an ideal length or style. The article was interesting but seemed to emphasize that a woman’s confidence and personality is more important than hair length,

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

Interesting. I definitely agree with Angie that there are no general rules and different things work for different people.

Gigi

Veteran

Thanks for the article, Runcarla. Very interesting!

I am one of those who always felt that long hair was very feminine. I always wanted long hair. But the problem is, I really don't look good with long hair. I've tried growing it out a couple of times, but the longest I've gotten is almost to my collarbone, at which point I had to hack it off because I hated dealing with it. It really overwhelms my small frame. And I'm not going to spend hours styling my hair, sorry! As Angie said, some people just look better with one length or the other.

As I was growing my hair out, I had to face the question others are asking here: Is this me? I had to admit that it was not me. Short hair is much more me. So I got my hair chopped off, to slightly below chin length, and every few months after that, I've gone back and gotten it cut shorter and shorter. I don't want a pixie--I don't feel that a pixie is me either--but I definitely feel less like myself once my hair starts getting to shoulder length.

I think both short and long hair can be beautiful. It depends on how it looks on the individual person and how they style it. And how it fits in their overall look.

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

Just the definitions of "long" vs "short" hair vary from person to person. A while back, Angie wrote something about having grown her hair out and I thought "what? Was I gone that long? Did I miss something?" Turned out her hair was maybe as long as mine in this pic, which for me is short. Made me laugh and realize that yes, her hair was considerably longer, and that those basic terms are relative to a person's individual norms.

I've changed my hair up a few times. Generally kept it "boy" short while in grade school, then grew it out through middle school until in high school, in the 80s, it fell to my bra strap and I had a "body" perm that made it as wide as my shoulders. I've had bobs and pixies, grew it long while preggo, chopped it off, and then grew it back to where it is today.

At any length (with the exception of high school), it's been important to me to have basically "wash and wear" hair that doesn't require much effort. I've got better things to do than that! You don't have to like how I wear it, but I'd keep anyone who didn't accept the length or style at a distance. (For that matter, I'd keep anyone who was opinionated about any part of my style and judged whether it was "up to their standards" at a distance--or just pity them.)

I loved my son's hair longer when he was little, but I was not good at taking care of it. In this photo, his hair is *much* longer than mine--went past his shoulders when it was wet/straight. I wish he'd try it again now, but he doesn't want to. Also, we are both a bit leery that, similar to what DonnaF experienced, women would be attracted to the hair with certain incorrect expectations of him as a person. And of course, police officers and supervisors of all types reading the wrong thing into a black man’s hairstyle can be detrimental.

This post has 1 photo. Photos uploaded by this member are only visible to other logged in members.

If you aren't a member, but would like to participate, please consider signing up. It only takes a minute and we'd love to have you.

Anonymous

It's always amazing to me how different people can look with a change of hair style or color! Different lengths seem to bring out different features and seem to change the face shape.

Anonymous

Now where did I leave my popcorn..........?

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

ST, yes! I am terrible at recognizing people anyway. A simple change in someone’s hair can really throw me off, especially in a photo, because I tend to recognize the way people move.

Firecracker (Sharan)

Veteran

Interesting article and discussion!

I have had long-ish hair (just at or past the shoulder) and short hair from bobs to variations on a pixie. I think I feel more "me" with short hair. But I have enjoyed long hair the few times that I've grown it out.

A few years ago, I grew out my hair and wore it longer for maybe a year or so. I felt I was going for a prettier look rather than cute or striking. On my best days, I felt it added elegance and/or a bit of nonchalance to my look. (This passage from the article spoke to me: ". . . that same study also indicated that while long or medium-length hair
can make a plain woman seem more attractive, the attractiveness of
women whose faces were conventionally pretty was unaffected by their
hair length." With my plain face, I feel that longer hair gives me a little nudge toward more conventional beauty.)

Then I had an accident last winter that cut my upper lip and left it scarred and a little lopsided. I went back to short hair, to embrace the quirkiness of my look. I am really liking my new haircut.

This post has 1 photo. Photos uploaded by this member are only visible to other logged in members.

If you aren't a member, but would like to participate, please consider signing up. It only takes a minute and we'd love to have you.

Echo

Veteran

I have never experienced a difference in the way men respond to me, regardless of hair length. Indeed, once in college I chopped off my hair, dyed what was left platinum and bought red lipstick, and it attracted men like flies. I really agree that beauty comes from the confidence one feels in oneself, regardless of style or hair.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I agree, hair length is such an individual thing! The last time my hair was short was 25 years ago. I got it cut short after a breakup, when I was starting graduate school. I also had it short in college (but short in that 80s way — short in back and big in the front, LOL).

Now, however, I’m afraid to go short. I have a small head, and I’m much bigger/heavier than I was 25 years ago, so I worry I’ll look like a little pinhead on a big body. Plus my hair is not as thick as it was back then — I really don’t know how it would behave in a short cut.

So for now I’ll stick with the devil I know. I get a little bored with my hair sometimes, and I don’t think I’m suited to my hair being much longer than it is now, so it seems I’m sticking with mid lengths.

Oh, the thing about longer hair being more attractive to men? I think that’s highly overestimated. After I got that short cut many years ago, I dated a guy who I had met in a bar while out with friends — he mentioned later that with my short dark hair, I stood out from all the typical girls our age who were wearing long blond hair at the time in our area. So sometimes I think having the courage to be different makes one more attractive.

rachylou

Veteran

Like so many things, I think this one is tribal too. And also, what’s beautiful is different from what’s attractive. Liking how someone looks is different from wanting to talk to them - unless that’s your tribe... I saw a modern Camaro the other day. Thought it looked good. Would never in a million years think of actually buying one.

Helena

Veteran

100% what Angie said! If someone can decide whether or not a person is 'attractive' based on hair length and no other context than that, I think that's frankly kinda weird

Barbara Diane

Veteran

This has been an interesting discussion.
My favorite hairstyles on me have been either longer, or shorter in back, longer in front, which is not in style anymore. One of the reason I grew out the front section was that as I got older I had less body in my hair, and I put on some weight, and I felt that I needed the extra hair to balance everything.

DH saw a photo of my hair when it was quite short and liked it, until he realized that that was all there was. He thought the rest was in a ponytail or something in the back, lol. The horror on his face was priceless.

Many years ago a friend had her bachelorette in a strip club. What surprised me most at the time was seeing all these men with very different body types (honestly, I had been wondering what some of them were doing dancing there) and that the women in our group liked very different men.

I had a very skewed view of beauty growing up in surfer/beachy southern California. The aesthetic was definitely tall, blond, long hair parted in the middle. In my 20's a kind guy was shocked when I said that I thought that was the only beautiful look, and refuted my opinion. His words had a profound effect on me. It may have helped that by then I didn't live in Southern California.

I have a friend who recently went through chemo. Quite to her surprise, her partner (male) loved her bald head.

Anonymous

It would be nice if two YLFers would keep their personal sniping off these threads.

Yes, I am the politeness monitor of the bunch.

Cheers,
X.

ropeball

Interesting topic here. I like my hair short, but I have not cut it short for more than 10 years now, as I don’t like the regular trim maintenance and my hair is too straight and heavy to carry short look well (I wanted a pixie look then, and my hair is not for it). So now, I have it a little over the shoulder length, enough short, but don’t have to go to hair salon every 2 months.

The man in my circle prefer women with longer hair. Some admit it. It is their perception that it is more attractive. If their SO cut the hair short, they compliment it and then wish they would grew out the hair later.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Ropeball, you make an excellent point about short hair and the constant upkeep. My hair grows fast — keeping it short and styled is really hard for me, and I kind of forgot that. It’s way easier to go an extra couple of weeks between cuts with longer hair! It’s the coloring the gray roots that gets me. Haha!

DonnaF

Veteran

California’s governor recently signed into law a bill protecting women (and I’m assuming men; haven’t read the language) from discrimination for having naturally textured hair! Now African American women won’t have to fear being fired for failing to chemically process or hot comb their hair.

A man left my church because he couldn’t deal with the otherwise femme, black, lesbian identified minister’s shaved head. When she told him no, she wasn’t planning to grow it, he left before he could really experience what her ministry was really like.

Helena

Veteran

Donna, that is good news about the bill (insane as it may be that it even needs to exist) - bad news about the man in your church! Although it sounds like she is a strong woman who knows and is confident in herself; whereas, well, he's that bothered about someone's hair - so he is likely missing out on far more by not having her in his life than the reverse.

12