Completely OT - calling all doggie owners dealing with loss

Agghh...

My dog trainer told me today that he had to put his beautiful golden lab down on Tuesday - and while I tried hard to keep my composure when he was telling me what happened and say the 'right things' , as soon as he left, I started crying and crying. I lost my own beloved black lab, "Beatrice" almost four years ago now, and I'm *still* not over it.

Anyway, as soon as he left I immediately jumped online, wanting to send him something. I was thinking of sunflowers because his gorgeous golden lab had a beautiful yellow coat and dark brown eyes. I realize that sending sunflowers to someone who's just lost their doggie might not be the most appropriate thing, but that's just what came to mind. Turns out, upon some research, that sunflowers represent loyalty. Seems even more appropriate.

Thing is? My husband thought it was weird that I wanted to send my dog trainer a bunch of sunflowers. He said that flowers in general weren't appropriate for someone who's lost their doggie. I realize they are a kind of cheerful-looking flower, but it's because of their yellow blooms and dark centres that I immediately thought of my dog trainer's golden lab. The sunflowers remind me of my dog trainer's doggie so much, because he had bright blonde/yellow fur, and the deepest, darkest brown eyes I've ever seen.

I just wanted to ask other doggie owners out there, especially those who have lost their beloved pet...would this seem really weird? Would it seem weird to get condolence flowers in the first place? And even weirder if they were sunflowers?

I hope I'm not about to commit some horrible faux pas.

I'm also thinking about sending a little tree...a tiny little cypress tree that you can keep in your home for awhile, and then plant in your yard. This is a bit more 'appropriate' ...and is more like a memorial-type of thing.

I'm still leaning toward sunflowers. I know it seems dumb and weird, but I swear - the flowers themselves look just like my dog tainer's lab - beautiful yellow fur, and deep brown eyes.

Is this a Really Bad Idea?

13 years ago

Anonymous

No gesture reaching out to someone in pain is a Bad Idea. I would send the flowers with a card mentioning how the flowers remind you of the doggie.

rae

(website)

Veteran

I don't think there's any way he could misinterpret cheerful flowers - they are clearly there to cheer him up and help remember the good times with his sunny dog... not to say hooray for his loss.

It can sometimes be hard to show your full sadness at the loss of a pet - many people just don't understand that it's not just an animal but part of the family. If it were me, I'd appreciate knowing that someone understood how hard it was.

Lyn D.

Definitely send. I think the recipient will be very touched by your thoughtfulness and concern.

Victoria

I think its a very touching gesture and if I was on the receiving end, I would appreciate the flowers. I never had dogs but I lost my cat 6 years ago(kidney failure, she was 14) and I still miss her so much. I felt like i lost a member of the family so I certainly understand the feelinrg:(

Transcona Shannon

I think if your heart says to send the flowers, then you should. I think it's very thoughtful of you to acknowledge his loss.

velvetychocolate

It turns out I wouldn't be able to get the sunflowers I want delivered in time, so I would likely go out tomorrow and pick them out personally and drop them off to his house..I'd just leave them on his porch with a card explaining why sunflowers.

Hmm...I hope this doesn't seem too strange. Let me know if you think this is innappropriate somehow.

This is extra-important to me because my own dog (not Beatrice, but my new doggie named "Gus" - as seen in my avatar photo) was dealing with all kinds of 'issues', having been adopted from the pound after living in shelters for almost two years, and it was my trainer's dog who helped my dog become socialized with other doggies and helped him learn how to play, without being afraid.

In short, my trainer's doggie had a lot to do with my own dog's so-called 'rehabilitation' from being in the pound for so long. Trainer's beautiful golden lab put up with all kinds of stuff from my dog. He was a mentor to my dog, and my dog was *difficult* - having been adopted, sent back, adopted, sent back, shuffled off to another state, and still not adopted.

Ok...enough of my rambling...

Just want to be sure I'm not making a mistake in dropping a giant bunch of sunflowers (with a card), explaining why those particular flowers. It's because his doggie was just like the sunshine, had a beautiful golden coat, and the darkest brown eyes.

If there's something else that would be more appropriate, please do chime in. I need to do *something* - this lovely dog was a huge part of why my dog learned how to play and have fun, (without being scared of anything and everything) and I also know how incredibly painful it is to lose a beloved pet.

Meredith1953

I get choked up just thinking about losing a loved family member. I think that if you send this gift of sunflowers with a note expressing your wonderful heartfelt sentiments, they cannot fail to comfort your friend.

Thank you so much everyone - I'll go and pick up the best bunch of fresh sunflowers I can find (I wanted to order from a particular place, but they can't deliver until next week so I'll go and get them myself) and drop them off onto his front porch tomorrow, with a card explaining. I won't make a huge deal out of it (in the card I mean), just that I'll mention *why* sunflowers - that they remind me of his doggie...all sunshine, golden fur and brown eyes.

Aww...such a tough thing to go through. I know what it's like. I'm still all teary eyed, to be honest.

I'm glad no one thinks this is inappropriate or weird - it's just the first thing I thought of when I heard. My husband thought it was a bit strange, but...I don't feel funny about it now, after hearing back from wonderful YLF'ers. Sounds like it'll be ok.

Thanks again, much appreciated. I didn't want to do something inappropriate and I'm relieved to hear that it wouldn't be a faux pas after all.

jayne

I think this is a wonderful gesture! Hugs

Janet

I'm still feeling the loss of our Rocky boy quite acutely, and I must say that any gesture like the one you mention is appreciated. I don't think it's weird at all. Pets are family to many of us. I think it's very kind and thoughtful of you!

Louise

What a kind a thoughtful idea and one that I'm sure will cheer the dog trainer and his family. I think flowers and a card are perfect, the sunflowers seem a lovely idea as they remind you of the dog and they stand for loyalty, what dog isn't loyal. I'd also be inclined to put a note in the card from your dog saying how much their dog helped him to recover from the pound. Just so they know how much their dog helped and will be missed by others. Daft and soppy I know but that's me!! X

It's a beautiful gesture, I'm sure it will be appreciated. I usually send out cards, but on couple occasions we have given a donation to the ASPCA or similar charity on the pet owner's behalf. I must keep your idea in mind. Hopefully, I won't need this in a long time.

Claudia

When I had to put down my beloved dog Toby five years ago, a friend and fellow dog owner unexpectedly dropped by with a bunch of roses and a box from the bakery. I was incredibly touched at this gesture of caring. It meant a lot to me that my heartache was acknowledged in such a tangible way.

I think your idea of the note with the sunflowers is beautiful.

This is a loving and wonderful idea.

lynne

It's a beautiful and loving thing to do. When we lost our 2 (at the same time) 5 years ago, the caring gestures from friends touched us deeply.

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