Colorful tie at a funeral?

My BF will likely be attending a funeral for a coworker recently deceased. He was wondering if wearing a pink tie with his suit, as a nod to the deceased's wear of bright colored shirts at work, would be inappropriate or not. Thoughts? The rest of the outfit would be a dark blue navy suit but the shirt/tie would be like below:

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15 years ago

Dressing

11 replies

Latest reply was from Beth

biscuitsmom

Veteran

I think it would be fine, given the coworker's fondness for bright colors....

15 years ago

(website)

Veteran

I did see this response regarding pink, oddly enough, on a search. http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/17458

The BF is management at work and so really needs to be mindful of appropriateness.

15 years ago

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

This is tricky. I wore a bright red handbag to my Mum's funeral as a nod to her love of bright red handbags and shoes. I think the bright tie is a nice nod - but I don't know whether it will be perceived that way by the crowd at the funeral.

Sorry I'm no help, Malina

15 years ago

Ornella

(website)

Veteran

Mo, what will others wear? I think it's worth finding out. If there is a general consensus between coworkers to pay respect to the colleague this way, than the fear of standing out and being misunderstood may very effectively be replaced by the general perception of such gesture as being a very personal tribute to the deceased person. Does it make sense?

15 years ago

Mamapicklejuice

Veteran

I think that if you are a blood relation, you can take more liberties. If he is questioning whether it will be perceived in the right manner, than I would skip it in favor of more traditional dress. IMO it's not worth causing hurt feelings or misunderstandings in others.

15 years ago

Louise

Veteran

I'd err on the side of caution unless there has been a request from the family for mourners to wear bright colours. It's easier for close family to make this sort of statement on their own but may be seen as disrespectful if the close family turn up in dark colours and BF has on a coloured tie x

15 years ago

Isabel

Veteran

First, I am sorry to hear of the loss.

I would also err on the side of caution - I would suggest a bright square or hankerchief in the pocket of his jacket to honor his friend and keep the shirt and tie subdued. What a wonderful thing for you BF to think of. I would also mention it to the family that the square is in his honor because he loved color so much - that would comfort me.

15 years ago

Queen Mum

Veteran

I don't think I'd do the "pink in honor of his love of color" unless it has been specified in the funeral announcements.
for example, a little over a year ago, a friend who's husband passed away communicated that he had "forbid black" at his funeral... everyone was to wear a bright color.

15 years ago

Jonesy

Veteran

I agree that this is a tricky one. On the one hand, if he was well-known for wearing bright shirts (i.e., it was a notable, common habit of his that defined him in a way) then I think it makes perfect sense to want to honor that in how you dress. OTOH, if that part of him was sort of less-known by many of the guests, the bright color could come across as simply insensitive. It is very hard to predict, which is why I think most people always counsel caution and conservatism when it comes to funerals.

Queen Mum, that is a touching anecdote. I have been to funerals that were all about celebrating the person's life, which is a lovely thing to be a part of.

15 years ago

(website)

Veteran

Thanks for the advice - he has now decided to leave the pink at home. I think it was more of an 'inside joke' type thing and may not be understood as much from outside eyes. Great advice to err on the side of caution. There is a dark burgundy tie that will be worn instead.

15 years ago

Beth

Veteran

Yep, I'd go with an understated tie, particularly since this is business-related.

15 years ago

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