Gryffin, thanks for the thought provoking topic. My response is going to be long, so forgive me, but I am so interested in this subject. I haven’t read my copy of Quiet yet, but I am definitely an Introvert who can navigate social situations, but find them exhausting. I suspect many in my specialty gravitate towards the I end of the I/E spectrum, although it isn’t a given. I live much of my life internally, and think deeply. It’s my job, and it comes naturally. I typically don’t share what I think with others. I keep most of my internal life private, despite the very rich thought process that takes place. I believe that my ability to think deeply, and to know and recognize my feelings and responses accurately contribute to my successful career and my success as a parent of two autistic children. However, as an introvert, my professional environment can be exhausting. I get very tired, because I use so much energy to concentrate while working and to navigate my environment with all the noise and chaos.
I like the concept of “restorative niche”. I don’t think anyone has mentioned accessories as part of their restorative niche, but I think it is probably the main part of mine. I wear jewelry that has been given to me by people that were special in my life, for example, my aunt, my grandmother, etc. I feel comforted by knowing I have this jewelry with me during the day. I feel like I can channel some piece of their personality that I cherish in a brief moment. I touch a bangle from my aunt and it reminds me of her wonderful poise in every social setting. She had perfect grace. She always looked good, and was welcoming. Her bangles remind me, even when I am getting tired and cranky, to maintain my compassion, to stay composed and calm, graceful under pressure. My grandmother was a storyteller, she was a reader, and she could talk to anyone. Her earrings reminds me that I can find the words I need to communicate with almost anyone. So, someone might argue that the jewelry is used as a sort of talisman, but it’s not luck or just sentiment I get from these objects. I get positive energy. I channel the traits that are hardest for me as an introvert when my energy is low, and my stress level high.
The idea of color vs. neutral as restorative niche is also very insightful. Certain colors give me calm focused energy. I think those are the colors in my work wardrobe. I have mostly neutral greys, denim blues and blue greens, and in summer some white. I do wear color, but typically color is mixed with the neutral, and is one of my calm focused energy colors. I feel happy in my colors, and they help me. Every once in a while, I feel the need to protect myself even more than usual. I need body armor in the form of my outfit and makeup. I think it’s interesting how different people do this in different ways. When I am in need of doing this I can go two ways, I can sink into the background and go all grey, or I can use all color. I find the either works to help me sink into the background and I maintain my energy better. I think it works because I am so tall. It’s as intimidating to see a tall person who is very colorful and powerful looking as seeing a tall powerful person dressed sharply all in grey. The very act of selecting my clothes and putting on my makeup has a calming effect for me sometimes. It helps me prepare. It is particularly useful when I have a migraine for me to wear colors that I like. For whatever reason, I find the energy boost from the colors useful when I am feeling lousy. In fact the worse I feel, the more careful attention I pay to how I look.
I am currently adding items with some movement and texture to my wardrobe. I have found that having some flow in a garment when I move is energizing, and makes me feel good, as long as it isn’t too much. I’m not about having too much drape. It can be a long cardigan so I have a cape like superhero effect flowing out behind me as I walk quickly. I have long legs so the effect would be dramatic. The idea amuses me, and I definitely have a playful side that is not extroverted. In fact I think it would be a mistake to confuse playful with extrovert. I wear a lot of things that I find amusing for one reason or another, often my reasons are private, and no one would ever recognize anything amusing about my outfit, other times they may be left wondering. However, because I do not want to distract with my clothes, I try not to do anything too outlandish. Sometimes I worry people will be distracted by my clothes, not because they are gaudy but because they are too nice or too formal in a very casual community. So, in my mind, there is a continuum where clothes go from dowdy, to fine, to dressy, to suit of armor, to overkill. I try to avoid dowdy and overkill, but wear all the others depending on my mood and environment.
The concepts of architecture and design are fascinating. If my mother could have picked my profession she would have picked architecture, not medicine. I have lived in two houses here in NY. The first was a disaster, It was a standard center hall transitional colonial style home. My kids couldn’t manage it. I felt anxious all the time because I felt like I was in a fish bowl. I read Sarah Susanka’s Books and A Pattern Language, and then went through a process of design and having a house built. I was instantly at peace once we moved. We have been here over a decade. I credit my home for helping with the success of my children. It served as a refuge for them. It gave them a sense of organization, place, and purpose. Our home makes sense, it lives well. It has a lot of natural light. My color scheme is earthy and blends well with the trees outside. My walls are filled with my daughters paintings and my plentiful shelves are filled with books, and photos. There are select objects that people have given to us or that we have collected. Our decor isn’t really organized decor as much as our collection of treasured objects. I think of our home as the hub of our shared experiences as a family. I once told someone that my house was like a summer lodge on Lake Michigan that I once visited as a teenager. Our home has a very warm feeling with large overstuffed chairs and couches, medium cherry wood and light cherry wood as well. Hardwood floors everywhere but oriental rugs. I have a mix of textures and patterns but not so much that they overwhelm. It’s pleasing and restful. There are nooks for reading, window seats, lots of windows and natural light. It’s open but still feels cozy. I love the connection with the exterior. Every room in my house except one has light coming from at least two directions, often three. It is definitely a place to recharge. It’s an introverts haven.
Several people raised the relevance of not wanting to be distracted by what their doctor was wearing, or wanting their doctor to appear as though their energy was spent thinking about and listening to their problems, not about their wardrobe. In my world we call that a transference, counter-transference issue, and I could go on and write an entire text book on the subject based on my experiences. (I will not though.). In my world, this is a fashion forum. Enough said.
