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Closet management: When do you throw something out?

Polly (thunalata)

Veteran

This comes on the back of other conversations about closet management. I am trying to feel my way towards a new way of buying/wearing/moving on clothes and would be interested in other people's thoughts.

If something has holes or is stained it is easy to decide that I cannot wear it. If it is a bit baggy or pilling a bit I still feel 'it has some wear in it' (my make do attitude...). I would like to move on from this without feeling that I am wasteful with my clothes.

Where do you draw the line? How tired does it have to be before you retire it? (and I know it's probably different for different types of clothing).

General

37 replies

Latest reply was from Janet

MsMary

Veteran

Generally I have a pretty low tolerance for worn or pilling or faded clothing. I want to look good and if my clothes are tired looking, then I pass 'em on. I feel I am very fortunate in that I have plenty of clothes and I don't have to "make do" with clothes that are past their prime only because they still have some useful, if not particularly decorative, life in them.

On the other hand, if it's something I love, I have been guilty of wearing it past its prime because I do love it. Most notably some of my favorites have gotten too big and it's been hard for me to let them go!

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

I would rather have less things than worn out things ... so I usually do try to give it some time (they go to my Closet of Purgatory) before I donate things.

I do feel a bit guilty about donating clothes with wear left in them, but I guess that's the whole point of a donation! The people who really have to depend on second hand to get by deserve to have some nice stuff too, right?

Anonymous

I put the questionable items in a bin/take them home to my parents( more storage space than in my studio). If I didn't inquire about them for a year, they're gone to the donate pile. Sometimes they are dated, sometimes they are unloved/unworn, if i can't wear them to work/school and I didn't previously loved them much, they're gone. Also I put away things that bring back bad memories/ make me feel frumpy/ are too big/small.
Maybe the fact that I know that back at home they'll find a new life ( donated, or re purposed or used as dusters) makes me feel better.

Joha

I constantly ask the same questions. So right now my attitude is to put away clothes that get baggy / pilling / size issues to a point that I no longer want to wear them, BUT also to learn something while doing this. Has the fabric been of poor quality? - So how can I spot fabric with a similar issue in the future? Does the item have fitting issues? - Why doesn't it work for me any more? Is it a closet orphan? - Why is that?

My goal is to move my closet from lots of items that are so-so to only fab ones. This will take time but I'm working on it. So everytime I try on something new, I look back at the things I just put away & if this garment is just a replacement or truly an enhancement..

And everytime I come here, there's something new, great or interesting, to consider

Thank you everyone ...

Queen Mum

Veteran

It really depends....
Is it something that will serve a spot in my "B-team" capsule (kicking around the house)?
Do I have a replacement for it?
Was I not in love with it and am looking for an excuse to pitch it?
Does it still serve a purpose, and do I still enjoy wearing it?

For many things, I notice that I become increasingly dissatisfied over time before I finally get around to tossing it. There are many occasions when I will put an item on, work on styling it, and realize that I'm just not feeling fab anymore, so I take it off, put it in the donation bag and put on something else. For other things, it's about demotion, and something else needs to be demoted to the B-team before I feel that it is time to get rid of it.
Probably the hardest to get rid of would be "nice" things that don't necessarily fit into the B-team capsule that I have always enjoyed wearing.
I think I do strike a healthy balance between being "toss happy" and holding on to stuff just because, so I am fine with the fact that I have to waffle on some things before I am able to toss.

Mo

(website)

Veteran

I usually default to holding on to something if I'm in question. It may get demoted and worn for loungeing around the house. I've had too many clothes in the past, and so nothing had the chance to get pilly and faded and worn out - they would instead get tossed once they became dated. In trying to have a smaller wardrobe of things I will wear more often, I assume I will now come across wearing through my clothes before they get tossed from being out of style. That would be a nice change, actually

taylor

Veteran

I baby my clothing and rarely wear anything out.
I am friends with my cleaners as 99% of what I wear ends up there. I know that isn't popular here, but it really does keep your things looking brand new and most people toss items because they the look worn out.

I toss mostly because I tire of them, stop wearing them or they look dated.

nicoleb

(website)

Veteran

Throw out as in throw away? If has to be pretty beaten up/ruined for me to toss it in the trash. I tend to donate things before they reach that point. I'm kind of bad at closet hoarding but i'm trying to get better. I wrote recently that i took 3 boxes of stuff to consignment and what really helped was narrowing down my style and where i feel it is going in terms of what i kept or did not.

bella

(website)

Veteran

This is a sore point for me as well. If it is an item that I love (and was a serendipitous find), I have a hard time letting it go.

Diana

Veteran

If it's something that I really adore, I'll probably keep wearing it for longer than I should. Otherwise it ends up in the goodwill pile. (Although to be honest I have enough clothes that only the things I love get worn out). Sometimes things will get demoted to loungewear (no leaving the house in it!) if they are comfy enough.

I do have a special exemption for knit tops (not sweaters). For some reason I have never been able to figure out (belt? lab bench? gnomes?) I always end up with little holes in my knit tops and tees around stomach level well before they get stretched out or worn out in other ways. However, I realized at some point that those holes actually don't show if I wear the tops tucked in. So, once the tops get those holes, they go into the tucked-only category and I get a bunch more wears out of them.

Mo

(website)

Veteran

Diana, just from my own experience - those little holes can be from zippers during the laundering process. Be sure to zip and button all things so the teeth don't snag at other materials.

Diana

Veteran

Mo, I had that thought too, but it makes no sense then that the holes are always in exactly the same place on every shirt... my best guess is that they're from either my belt buckle or the button on my jeans...

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

Diana - I also have this problem. Also over my left shoulder. All the time. I think the middle is from my jeans and the left shoulder is from a cross-body purse.

When I was 17; I loved this one t-shirt very much, it was so frayed, it has like 4 holes in it and the collar had fallen off ... lol.

Mo

(website)

Veteran

Hmm - good point Diana! I had to take the metal corners off my waitressing guest check book after finding it was wearing down a spot on my pants with every step, banging against my leg through my apron.

Joha

@ mo, lyn & diana: Delicious days had an enlighting post on the issue recently here:

http://www.deliciousdays.com/a.....ry-solved/

Aziraphale

Veteran

Joha -- interesting article!

thunalata -- I throw stuff out if I get bleach marks on it, if it's pilled, or if it has holes or stains. I donate items that still have wear in them but that I haven't worn for several years, for a variety of reasons. I figure if a garment is too old/stained/pilled for me to wear, no one else will want to wear it either!

Vildy

Veteran

Although I don't consider myself unworthy if I am "wasteful", I generally pass along
things to a friend who takes what she wants and distributes to her friends and neighbors.
I do a lot of alteration/remodeling and will sometimes quit when I see it won't be what I want and throw it out at that point.

I find my clothing affects my mood. I'm generally a happy, confident person but if I wear schlumpy, saggy, stained clothing I start trudging around. If I catch something making my complexion look wan, I start feeling wan. So I dress pretty nicely even
in the house. And I'll wear the same clothes out the door, so everything *is* in presentable condition.

I tend to feel protected and safe in dun-colored clothing, so I severely limit the amount of that I have, otherwise I start feeling anti-social when I go out. "Can't you see I'm invisible, Leave me alone!" Whereas I'm usually the one who starts up conversations with people.

mrseccentric

(website)

Veteran

oh Vildy, that is interesting!

Joha and Queen Mum make great points about debriefing - especially helpful when you're going through a phase of re-evaluating your philosophy around this issue.

my style can take a certain amount of 'beat up' clothing in it and still look like my style (definitely Rough Around The Edges) - partly i've kind of planned it that way as i am hellish hard on clothes (can't wear 98% of watches, either - i think it's electrical!) so in my view part of it has to do with how 'fresh/pristine' you want your overall look to be, and what you are willing to do in order to get that pristine look. (and as Vildy says, how it may affect your in other ways!) as a SAH spouse who is generally seen as an eccentric, creative type this is also easier to fit in with my overall persona. not all people or professions can get away with this. and i do always shine my shoes, wear makeup, iron even tee shirts, etc. so things may be showing wear but are not scuzzy.

i hope! heehee! great thread, steph

Vildy

Veteran

Although I get rid of clothes continually, I also thrift a lot and so I acquire them continuously as well. Plus I am also part of that continual swap circle and get offered things to look through. I don't want to sound like I always come to a quick decision about things that I take or acquire. Sometimes I do and in other cases I have things hanging around for a few years because I "intend" to wear them. About the only pattern I have is that I will wear many things right away and wear them a lot and they are new favorites but soon I am over it. I frequently change the style of what I am wearing, too, and that's the main reason I get rid of things. Pretty much everything I get rid of is in good to excellent condition. A few things that get worn, I do throw out. I like the advice not to donate anything that you would feel uncomfortable about offering face to face to a friend or colleague.

I will take the buttons off something if I really like them - I change the buttons on things quite often. Then I will still pass it along because my friend has a button stash and will sew some on in order to pass it along further. She's far more conscientious than I am. If it weren't like this, then I would probably just throw the buttonless garment away.

I don't donate any clothing myself to a thrift store. I hate to shop - but love clothing - so I limit my shopping to just a few nearby retail outlets and one current favorite thrift store and a few others sporadically. I prefer small thrift stores. So the last thing I want to do is see my own rejected clothing taking up the racks. I also don't have a car so I'm not going to trouble myself to go out of my way and make difficulty for myself. I won't launder the items, either. They go in whatever condition they're in - either unworn, freshly laundered or worn.

My clothes would last practically forever. I hand wash everything and don't put in the dryer. I have even been known to handwash coats.

Kari

Veteran

It has to have been sitting in my closet giving me the sad orphan eyes for seasons (years, even) before I officially remove it.

Seriously, I'm not very good at letting go.

Vildy

Veteran

Steph, I have that watch thingy, too!

I am also completely RATE. And even if my outfit doesn't look that way, I feel that
way mentally. Although I wear makeup every day: lipstick, concealer, mascara, usually blush, sometimes eyeliner, sometimes a little powder on chin and nose - I am very
uncomfortable psychologically in a polished look. I associate it - probably wrongly - with inactivity. I want to feel that I can sit on the ground if I want to and I wouldn't care if I were wearing a suit..

If clothes look too new - even if they are new - I don't feel like they're my clothes. OTOH, I don't feel right in clothing that's supposed to look old - like linen. I like my clothing to be mostly unwrinkled but to come that way so I don't have to think about ironing it. In my fantasies, I would do that starch business.

Cynthia

(website)

I keep a small closet by most standards. In terms of removing pieces, age in and of itself will never demote an item to the swap pile. I have a great cardigan that's 13-years-old and you would never know it. It's grey, good quality, and timeless. All of that being said, if it's shabby it's gone. So I guess that's my line. I would rather remix the same pieces over and over than look unkempt.

I also agree with the dry cleaning comments above. I dry clean everything (including my denim) and it really does make a difference. I have a 10-year-old denim pencil skirt that's in great condition. If I had washed that piece it would have been gone years ago.

catgirl

Veteran

I have always been a saver of everything, but recently I have started chucking out things that have seen their last days. I've started to feel like those items burden me somehow, and once gotten started, it's snowballed into a whole new type of closet cleansing.

It's so easy for me to justify downgrading into eternity - from work to casual to utilitarian to what-if-I-paint-the-bathroom to cabinwear... And frankly, one or two sets of the latter two types are all I really need.

It is hard for me to part with a workhorse until it is replaced, though.

Deborah

Veteran

Clothes that I wear to say clean the house might get worn and stained etc and when they are really bad they go into the bin, or hubby's rag bag for the garage. Otherwise I move things on when I am no longer enjoying wearing them (styles change, etc). Or, as I have been lately moving things on that I have purchased but really don't work well for me (with the help of YLF I have recently ended the journey in my closet for two garments). I either send these items to Op (thrift) Shop, or to a local organization who provide job interview outfits for disadvantaged women, or keep them for the next clothes swap with friends. This way I don't feel wasteful as someone else is going to enjoy the garments and put them to good use. I also feel I am being a little responsible by 'recycling' the clothing I am done with and doing my bit for the environment Now next question of course is how do I justify all the money I spend on clothing.... oh I think I can hear my son calling me.. better go...

Mander

(website)

Veteran

I'm really bad at this. I find that I get attached to something and wear it until it is really no longer fit for public consumption, but find myself either wearing it anyway or being unable to get rid of it because I don't have an equivalent replacement.

I usually donate everything to a charity shop, though. There is a particular local one that comes around every few months and picks up bags of clothes, so I usually just save things until then. Very little clothing actually ends up in the trash, however, because I know that the charity sells the unwearable items to the "rag man" and they get recycled into cleaning cloths for industrial use. Sometimes I salvage buttons and zippers, or sections of the cloth for craft purposes.

Mo

(website)

Veteran

I just assumed everyone means donation when they say it's time to toss items. I can't imagine actually throwing clothing in the trash can unless it's really battered or wholey. I send it all to the Goodwill or thrift. I figure if they deem it unresellable, they will at least have a proper place to send it off to disadvantaged folks who just need clothing on their backs and shoes on their feet.

Polly (thunalata)

Veteran

So interesting!

Sorry not to be clear. I suppose it's more about when anyone would stop wearing something and get rid of it. When it counts as being 'not pristine enough' to wear, rather than what you do with it next.

I donate clothes that have wear in them, downgrade them if they are worn but still wearable/suitable for yard work and recycle as rags at our local recycling centre if they are entirely unwearable.

So I suppose my question should have been, at what state do you decide something cannot be worn out of the house. Angie's clothes, for example, always look pristine and brand new. Mine do not! I wondered where other people stood on that but, as so often I did not make myself clear.

All of the replies are really interesting, though and give a picture of different approaches. Loved especially reading about Taylor's dry cleaning and how her clothes stay pristine. Wow!

Mo

(website)

Veteran

Polly, I think at a certain level of fading, or when things stretch out, or start to pill in obvious places is when I deem them not suitable to be caught in public in A concrete example - a knit red dress that went from everyday casual wear, to a swimsuit cover up, to only lounging in the house, to the Goodwill in the span of about one year. I bought it used on eBay and it only had so much life left. When it faded it became swimsuit cover up material, and when the elasticized waist started to slowly give out it became loungewear. Once the elastic bands started to really go - out it went.

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Polly (thunalata)

Veteran

Great example! I love that you got so much use out of it and were than happy to give it up. I think I'm trying to work out how to get to that state ie of being happy to give something if it is still wearable. Eg I have a number of tees that I HATE because they have lost their shape but they are still 'wearable'. Perhaps these are candidates for goodwill... Hmmm. Similarly I have a dress that I wore for work last year but was a bit sad to see that it is pilling a bit now. Perhaps this is a candidate for MOTG only from now on...

Mo, I think you've really helped me with that example!

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