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Closet editing

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I know we have talked about closet editing a million times, but I’m feeling a need to bring it up again, wondering if some new insight might click with me.

I have been slowly and thoughtfully editing unworn items from my closet in the past months, as I didn’t want to rush judgment on unworn things since the pandemic put such a whammy on our “usual” dressing habits.

But I feel a slight shift happening. Some of it may be that I’m staring down the second half of my 50s with an impending birthday, my natural hair color is now totally grown out, and I’m working more to be at peace with my body as it is. I have yet to identify what that shift actually is, but it’s there nonetheless.

I stare down some items in my closet that I loved a few years ago but don’t feel compelled to wear now, wondering if the mojo will return, or whether it’s time to say goodbye. I have particular difficulty getting rid of things that have a print I really like or are in a color I love but don’t find easily.

Case in point. I think I’m ready to let go of this dress, which has to be 8-ish years old. I bought it when I was a bit smaller than I am now, so it hung a bit more easily then and ended *just* at a point on my knee that didn’t bother me. But now it’s more fitted and the hem hangs higher. If I successfully lose a bit more weight, it would fit more like it used to, but am I really going to want to wear it again? The exposed zipper is perhaps dated, and the print is not exactly on-trend at the moment, but I still like it. I thought about having it cut off into a top, but I’m not sure that’s the right answer either. The exposed zipper makes that difficult because it’s long enough to look awkward on a top but not long enough to make the top the same length as the zipper. So it should probably just go. (I added a pic of the dress with the bottom folded up inside the top to get an idea how it might work as a top.)

Oh, and I *still* have an ancient Theory mixed media tweed and leather moto in my holding zone, along with two slightly sheer patterned Equipment button-front shirts, and a DVF wrap dress that’s still a size too small. I clearly have trouble getting rid of some of these nice designer items! Like, when am I going to wear those Equipment shirts again? Please knock some sense into me!

I kind of wish I had some of you excellent ruthless editors here in my closet with me to nudge me into getting rid of some more stuff. I’m good at doing it for other people but not for me, LOL!

Anyone care to give me a good verbal shake?

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53 replies

Latest reply was from Glory

slim cat

Veteran

Beautiful dress - vote to keep! Looks fabulous on you!
I've had a few things that got donated and then missed terribly ( my weight was up and then down again - to some point ).
There is one or two tops that I refuse to donate ( fav colors/prints ) that I still wear occasionally under a cardigan or a jacket ( a bit tight without layering piece ).

bj1111

Veteran

Have you discovered the real real to sell designer items?

I just completed the latest installment. Helps that I have three younger women to whom I periodically mail boxes. Makes it easier to part with stuff.

Why not open space for yourself to discover what you will want to wear after you lose the weight without these items being a burden in the moment?

nemosmom

Veteran

I still have a black Theory shirt dress that is at least 10 - maybe 12 - years old. The hem is shorter than I feel comfortable in, but I held onto it thinking I would pair it with OTK boots. But I felt like a stand-in in Pretty Woman…. Funny thing is - I can’t force myself to let go of it!!

I try asking, “if I had an event to dress up for, when would I reach for this over something else in my closet?” The answer is: never! But, still it sits… decorating the back corner of my closet….

Suffice to say, I have no advice!

Runcarla

Veteran

Move the items in question out of ‘holding’ and challenge yourself to wear them. When the opportunity arises, are you enthusiastic and happy to create an outfit around the item, or do you really want to wear something else?

Question: your beautiful hair has more depth and contrast with light, dark, and silver/shine. Does this provide the action in your outfit, and you might intuitively be moving away from more busy garments that provided the interest when your hair was a more solid shade?

Anonymous

I’ll be right over . In the meantime : the dress seems a little too formal considering your current looks and lifestyle . Is it really that special that you’d be leaving a big hole in your closet if you passed it on? I really adhere to the “ rule “ that we don’t hang on to things thinking or assuming our weight and shape may change . I personally don’t find it helpful or motivating to keep stuff I can’t or won’t currently wear - but I know there are others who do this . All I find that happens is this same inner conversation takes place every season while the dress ( or whatever ) hangs there - and what for ? If it’s a label you can resell , I’d do that .

Just from observation , you love to keep your closest current and enjoy bringing in new pieces . Let it go !!!

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Slim cat, you're not helping! LOL ;-D

BJ1111, I've sold some things successfully on Poshmark and then kind of got away from maintaining my "shop." I have some things on there now that I'm still hoping to sell, but it seems like they have some algorithm that gives your items more exposure if you're really active there... and I'm just not that motivated to spend more time trying to sell my stuff. Is Real Real better?

I do have a niece that takes some of my old items, but we are not exactly the same fit (we are the same height and similar size, but she's straighter than I am, with narrower hips but wider waist). She can sometimes use some of my old things. I should host a clothing swap sometime, now that Covid is slowly getting into the rearview mirror (we hope!).

Mostly, I'm happy to pass things along to others who want them, and I don't care a lot about getting much, if any, money for them.

I've moved some things into the holding zone, and that is kind of helping me. I have it in the back of my mind that there are summer dresses down there, but so far I'm not inclined to reach for any of them.

Nemosmom, you get me.

Cardiff girl

Veteran

Oh gosh it’s hard to let go isn’t it?l really do empathise with you though.l have found exactly the same thought running through my wardrobe.I am no longer happy showing my knees and won’t do strapless any more.l could still do these things if l wanted to ,it’s just that l don’t want to anymore.Even so it’s really hard to let stuff go at the moment as the pandemic effect is real for sure and l don’t want to regret and have to repurchase.
l think that the idea of selling stuff does help and up until recently l was a strong advocate of thus decluttering approach but l have had a bad experience now and it’s put me off.
Your dress is lovely and you look great in it but if you are not feeling the love anymore and have plenty of other options why not dress for the lady you have become rather than the one you used to be?

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Carla, interesting idea that's kind of the reverse of what I've been doing. Move the stuff back INTO the closet and see if I can make them work. Some of them, frankly, are a little more bodycon than I want to wear now (kind of like the dress above, but more casual). And some of them are a bit dressier than I am feeling now too. Hmm.

I'm actually wearing my shorts more this summer than previous years. I don't know why, really. Some of my skirts are feeling a little "meh" to me now too, and I loved them a couple of years ago. That, and the dress observation above, make me think that perhaps my summer style has gotten more casual. Pandemic or no, I'm not leaving home as much, and when I do, there's not much need to dress to impress, so to speak. Not that I want to go out in cutoffs and graphic tees every day, but I have plenty of casual options that don't go down that path. I will ponder this.

Lisa, yes. Now I'm thinking...I think the last time I wore that dress was actually to my husband's niece's wedding at the ranch, and that was what, four years ago? I did used to wear it casually, but my casual has gotten *more* casual, IYKWIM. Honestly it doesn't leave a hole in my closet to let it go. I have other casual dresses, and clearly since I haven't worn it in a while, it wouldn't really be missed. I just like the print.

I am definitely feeling like I've added enough to my closet in recent months that I'd like to thin things out a little bit. It's just feeling a little overfull.

Kate

Veteran

It‘s a beautiful dress, but I‘m firmly in Lisa‘s camp on this one. I had a bunch of dresses in my closet that I had been hanging onto for the better part of a decade, thinking I would get back to them. But I didn‘t. And when opportunities arose where I could have worn one or the other, I always chose something newer or fresher. Still, I bargained with myself over alterations and fondly recalled how I felt wearing this or that.

Well, memories are free and we can access them any time. Those dresses were a mental burden and out they went to be sold. I enjoy having that mental burden lifted, and the extra space in my closet. You might too.

rachylou

Veteran

The dress looks great as a top. As a dress, I feel that the neckline is too high, like it’s choking you. Which is inexplicable, considering I think it’s great as a top. I’ve sort of become enamoured lately with the idea of altering clothes. So I kinda vote for a project in theory; ‘course my reality is usually quite different…

Sal

Veteran

My instinct is to pass the dress on. I don’t think you will miss it- it is lovely but I feel that you would choose other pieces.

I do have a sentimental/heritage/edited section of clothing that I keep outside my closet. It is mostly occasion wear - some that has no chance of ever fitting again. I try and keep it under 10 pieces I total and might go through it again. You could do the same if you are especially fond of pieces.

kellygirl

Veteran

The colors and print are so pretty--I can see why you are on the fence. I culled a bunch of stuff when I put winter stuff away (but not nearly enough I think.) One of the questions I asked myself is whether I would buy this again if i saw it at the store. (Usually the answer for me was a resounding no.) The other question is where would I wear it. If I was going out--would I choose this or something else. That helps me separate reality from fantasy at least for the dressier stuff. Hope that helps.

bj1111

Veteran

Have it made into a pillow. You can see the print everyday

Anonymous

I don’t think liking the print is reason enough to keep something that doesn’t tick any other boxes . I’m very ruthless though and do not have any attachment to clothes . There’s always something else out there .

cat2

Veteran

I vote keep. I have a category I call Mother in Law dresses, that I wear when I don’t want to freak out of my MIL with a more modern choice. This would fit that category nicely. I currently have two: a L.K. Bennett green floral dress and a new marine green ruffled dress. However, maybe you don’t need the kind of thing you would wear to brunch or church in the South?

Janet

(website)

Veteran

BJ1111, I like the pillow idea! Our sofa is orange too.

Lisa, yep, you are right about not keeping something just for a print when it’s not proving itself otherwise useful. I’m more sentimental than you, but i have my limits!

Cat2, that’s a smart strategy, but I don’t need anything like that. Any event I have to dress for, I already have other good options that are audience-appropriate.

cat2

Veteran

Hmm, thinking through my closet culls, it’s the dressier pieces that are a harder call. I went through and got rid of anything that did not fit, that was above the knee, or offered too much cleavage for my current tastes. I kept everything else because I think I am going to be one of those old ladies wearing sparkly things to the ballet. But if that’s not in your future you should make different calls.

Aquamarine

Veteran

I like the dress and I remember when you got it. You have so many nice clothes though…will you really miss it? Our lives have changed so much (I culled a slightly too-tight dress myself just this morning, with probably more to come).

I do like it as a top and I have done this myself in the past…but for whatever reason, I never seem to reach for the item once it’s been altered in this way.

Helena

Veteran

I'm on team edit, and am wondering if you are appreciating the print with your artists eye for beautiful colors and patterns, rather than your wearer's eye ... If that makes sense? I love the idea of repurposing the fabric somehow, or even somehow taking an amazing photograph of the print up close to keep as a piece of abstract art almost ...? Then you can let it go and keep what you love still!

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

I vote pass on perfectly so that someone else can enjoy it!

As nice as the dress looks on Janet, I have a hunch you'd pick something less classic for the right setting. A V-neck, longer length, and a less busy pattern....... for starters.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Btw, are these dresses of interest? They look like something you might wear with a knot at the hem, or at a midi length.

Tommy Bahama Tommy Bahama

View Info

Top Pick

2

Tommy Bahama Tommy Bahama

View Info

Top Pick

3

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

Wow did I relate to this post. I turned 55 last week (mean to post birthday thoughts but haven't gotten there yet) and I have noticed a similar shift lately. I am not feeling some of my past go-tos. On the other hand, I am rediscovering and rethinking some of my archived items (I am in the atypical position of having lots of archive, waiting to be sold.)
Like can this dress be a top, can this short dress be layered over a skirt or pants, etc.
Anyway, just to confuse you I would say I would be more likely to pass on the dress but keep the Equipment tops, depending on the pattern and sheerness. I am a bad example of editing though!
Finally theRealReal is much easier than Poshmark if your items are on their designer list. You just send them your stuff or have them pick it up. They do all the photography and marketing. I am planning on bringing a suitcase or two to sell with them this summer and have done so in the past. Let me know if you have any questions about that.

lyn67

Veteran

I say pass. Think the neckline is too high and the pattern is a little too busy anyway- also of some warmer hues that I am used to see you nowadays. Think the natural color of your hair now does not provide enough contrast or match with the dress-and, you do have enough gorgeous clothes! Was that the needed verbal shake?:-)

Bijou

Veteran

I don't see this as your current style and think it is a great piece to give to someone else. I could see this being snapped up by someone who is shopping for a nice dress to wear to a wedding in a second hand shop - they would be thrilled to discover this. Wear and enjoy the great items you have currently in your wardrobe.

I need to do a post like this on some items I am finding hard to let go of too. Editing out items that are still good and were former favourites can be hard. For me, editing out coats is tricky because my season of wearing them is limited and they tend to be classic in design.

Brooklyn

Veteran

I would donate the dress. Sometimes with this style you can make it a midi skirt by inserting an elastic at bust height and pushing the whole thing down. But it looks like the material is not stretchy enough to do that.

I’ve been shopping at (charity run) thrift stores over the last couple of years and it makes me feel a lot better about donating my unwanted good quality items to them. Every time I find something I like that someone else has discarded I feel like I’m paying it forward by donating some of my nicer things so that someone else can have the same pleasure in finding them. Plus benefiting a charity of course.

Staysfit

Veteran

Janet, you must be reading my mind! I put on some weight and my body has changed a bit, probably due to a combination of menopause, COVID quarantine, and weight lifting. Some of my clothes, mostly tops but some dresses, do not fit as nicely or feel quite as fab as in the past. I hope I will lose some of the weight, but am not counting on fitting into the items again because I think my torso is broader from the weights....

I tried on everything in my closet, and culled anything white (since I do not wear it) except base layer tanks and tees, anything that felt snug, baggy, or that no longer felt fab for whatever reason. I also culled jewelry, shoes, bags dresses, etc. I saved a few pair of higher waisted jeans in a holding zone because they are only a little snug and should fit again if I lose 4-5 pounds. I sold most everything I culled at a recent garage sale, after allowing my friends and family to pick what they wanted.

I have never held a garage sale before. However, my neighborhood has two scheduled sales every summer, so I took advantage. I admit to selling expensive designer items more cheaply than they would be on any of the resale websites. I was not trying to recover money as much as make sure they went to someone who would enjoy them. There were a couple of women who saw my clothes and their eyes bugged out, they were so excited to be able to purchase them. They were happy, and I was also happy to give them a great deal and see them go to good homes. Win-win.

(My sale offerings included a DVF wrap dress, a Rebecca Taylor leather jacket, a Rick Owens dress, a Narcisco Rodriguez dress, Stuart W. Heels, Rebecca Minkoff Julian Backpack (white leather), etc.) I’m donating the proceeds from our sale to the local food bank.

Bottom line: Donate or sell the dress and move on.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Thanks for all the great comments, everyone!

I took a little time yesterday to drag out every dress in the house and try it on. It actually didn't take as long or seem as overwhelming as I expected, because I'd already done some editing. Sometimes we get something blown up in our minds larger than the issue really is. And I have only 2-3 dresses that are not summer dresses, so that part of it took no time at all!

I'm letting go of the dress in the photos. I will first put it in my fabric bin because it may indeed make a good throw pillow -- a friend is making new outdoor cushions for me later this summer (waiting for fabrics to come back in stock), and I'm sure she could do a quick throw pillow cover for me too! I'm also letting go of another scuba fabric dress -- the black background floral one that I wore for my stepson's wedding, and countless other occasions. It still fits, but more snugly than I like, but more importantly, I just feel like I've had enough photographs taken of me in this dress and I'm ready to move on. I have another occasion-appropriate dress that fits and photographs well and is in shades of blue.

Also, I finally culled a lovely floral number from White House/Black Market that I originally bought for my niece's wedding, and then found another dress I liked better. It still has tags on, and is a bit snug. I'm not going to hold onto it for the possibility of another occasion plus losing weight in all the right places, so out it goes! At least I got it on an excellent sale. I also am letting go of a beautiful dress with a very fitted bodice that has never quite fit my bust right (it smashes me down in a way I just can't accept), so after wearing it a couple of times years ago with a denim jacket over it, I'm letting that go too. I just don't like keeping things that I *have* to cover up.

The DVF dress is also going to be sold. It's lovely, but it's a size too small, and even if I lose the weight, I think it's a tad short for my preferences now. Someone will be thrilled to get it secondhand.

I also put the two Equipment shirts in the "to sell" box. If they weren't so sheer, I'd keep them, but I don't care for the look of sheer layered over tank tops for myself so much anymore -- it feels a little fussy and clearly they're not useful for me. So I also got out the two coordinating tank tops and put them in the donate box as well.

A slightly painful one: I'm donating a lovely plaid skirt that my mom bought me probably 25 years ago. I had it taken in when I lost weight for my wedding, and it's quite a bit snug now. Plus I never wore it even the last time I was a size smaller. I've really been keeping it for sentimental reasons, but frankly, I don't need the skirt to remind me of the fun my mom and I had shopping. And I do have one other piece that I'm keeping from that category.

Result: a bunch of empty hangers and a sense of relief. Thank you for letting me work through this with you all!

Janet

(website)

Veteran

A peek at the results in my holding zone, which now hardly has anything besides occasion wear and out of season things, plus a couple of sentimental items.

1) occasion wear and two sentimental items (an authentic kimono that someone brought home for my mom after WWII, and an amazing top that I wore for my 40th birthday that my boobs laugh at now)

2) out of season - winter wool coats and jackets

3) out of season - long jackets, a couple of pairs of dressy trousers, and a couple of non-summer dresses, plus a couple of occasionwear pieces (sequin top, sequin blazer, silk satin blouse)

4) out of season - a couple of winter jackets. The other stuff in there is my husband's

5) empty hangers (not to be refilled!), and two vests that remain in the holding zone. I'm weirdly attached to the faux fur vest, even though I haven't worn it in years. I feel like there's going to be a glam moment at some point that I'll want to wear it again, and it was an unusual cut for the style, super flattering. The other one is really unique, but was always challenging to style (it has a sort of drapey scarf thing attached to a traditional menswear style vest, which I've thought of removing). I'll consider those another day.

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RobinF

Veteran

Very satisfying! I really hang onto things too long and need to do some culling myself, especially of dresses that rarely get worn. When an occasion comes up I usually want to have something new anyway. I do find that my tolerance for anything fitted has gone way down. With menopausal body changes (my weight hasn't changed much but my body definitely has) I just don't like to accentuate certain body parts and can't stand anything constraining. I need to get rid of anything that I wouldn't wear now for the right occasion.

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