Closet Anxiety - Intervention Required? - YouLookFab Forum

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Closet Anxiety - Intervention Required?

velvetychocolate

Veteran

Inspired by Nancylee's recent post where she was able to complete a 'closet inventory', I *finally* started to go through my own closet this afternoon. I'd said I'd do it last fall, but it didn't happen. Denial comes in handy sometimes.

It wasn't pretty at all. I have a lot of fall/winter clothing - and about 50% of this isn't being worn or hasn't been worn at all. To make matters worse, when I started sorting stuff out across the bed, into piles of:

1. Fall-Winter - I *might* wear this again next year
2. I've never worn this stuff, it's just been hanging there
3. I'll never, ever wear that again...
4. Brand new items that I never wore and still has tags hanging on it.

...I took out all the fall/winter stuff, I realized just how woefully unprepared I am for the hot summer months. There are several knit tops that are way past-their-prime, and don't look all that great. Bad enough that I won't wear them, but they still hang there. Shorts that I never liked or that don't fit me properly anyway. It's so bad that there are maybe three or four pieces total for summer that I feel good about, hardly anything else - and most of what's there, I don't like and don't want to wear anyway.

It's *that* bad. To the point that I'd pay Stacey and Clinton to come and take it all away. As in, I'd give them a gift card to intervene.

Not really sure where I'm going with this - but has anyone just chucked most of their wardrobe in one fell swoop? Even if that meant you were left with practically nothing? The summer items I have are really bad.

I'm really terrible at this! I want to look "fab" and fix up my closet and buy the right stuff, but clearly - I'm awful at it.

I like and feel good about maybe 20% of my fall/winter stuff, and perhaps 0.05% of the very few summer items I have.

Should I just get rid of most of it?

What would you do? Chuck it all (donate/giveaway etc) and then deal with the bare closet?

Has anyone done this? Had a closet so bad that 90% of it had to be eliminated? Did you just get rid of it all and then start fresh?

General

24 replies

Latest reply was from Angie

Mo

(website)

Veteran

I would chuck what I will never wear again - either due to size or condition.
I have never gotten that deep into the hole myself to where my wardrobe is 90% tossable, so I imagine it would be quite scary. But . . . if it's truly things you aren't wearing, will you really miss them, or just miss the false sense of security you get seeing clothing hanging there??

Jewell

Veteran

I agree with Mo; I'd toss anything I was certain I'd never wear again. Hold onto some of the maybes unless you're in a place financially to replace everything all at once.

I realized last fall/winter that many of my sweaters were in terrible shape, but I couldn't afford to chuck them all and go shopping for new ones. So I enacted the sweater replacement plan. I determined which ones needed to be replaced first. I consigned a few and used my credit to get better ones. I donated a few and gradually replaced them with brand new ones. You might be able to do something similar. Decide what your greatest need is and start there.

christieanne

Veteran

I think you should start a bit smaller and break this down since it's the first big clean out and evaluation in some time>
1) Toss/Donate the obvious items that need to go - by obvious I mean you will never ever wear it or it is too dated or too worn for you to wear.
2) Put aside the fall and winter. You may feel differently about that later and it's the wrong time to judge (other than the obvious few that can go now).
3) focus on summer - you have at least three or four months of warm weather ahead right? Sounds like that is immediate need in any case and start making a capsule list of things you need to go into summer.

You can do it!

velvetychocolate

Veteran

Thank you! I've outsorted all of the fall-winter stuff, putting most of the items I might possibly wear again next fall/winter into the downstairs guest room closet. I've set aside the "never going to wear again" stuff into a pile on the guest bed downstairs - I'll donate it or give it away somehow.

Summer closet? Not much in there at all, and I still have the yucky old knit tops that I don't really like, but at least I can slide things across the rack now in my bedroom closet and can see what I actually have.

The bare-bones summer closet? There's a good 75% of stuff that really should be tossed. It's that bad.

I've been in denial about the fact that summer is a good four or five months here, whether I like it or not. Last summer, I was so extremely busy traveling and dealing with family emergency stuff, that I didn't really shop properly at all. I just grabbed at stuff, in desperation. Most of those things were mistakes. Meanwhile, over the past several years, I've lost a lot of weight, so there isn't really a 'base' wardrobe at all.

I will admit, it would actually make me happy to just get rid of most of it (the inadequate, hated summer dregs from past years).

I was just curious as to what that might be like and if anyone had done something as radical as this before.

Lyn D.

Veteran

Just to add to the good advice- any items that you are sure you will never wear and are B.N.W.T. pop onto Ebay. You might find that someone else will love it and you will have some cash to spend on more suitable items.
There was a very informative post about Ebay recently on this forum if you need any pointers about how-to.

velvetychocolate

Veteran

Thank you! I've never tried Ebay before, but we'll see if it might come in handy after all. I have a tendency to just want to give away stuff, but I'm kind of disorganized right now. I'll likely pitch the 'dregs' and try to give away anything that's new and that someone might like.

That said, I will go and look up the Ebay threads on here - I seem to remember something about that while back - there was some good advice containing lots of good 'how to' pointers.

Good suggestion - thanks!

christieanne

Veteran

I've never taken my closet to extreme emptiness but it seems this could be a good time to restart on an organized, thought out course. Do you have some style goals set for summer? Also, any chance of a budget for rebuilding?
You may not need much in order to restart on a positive note really.

velvetychocolate

Veteran

I'm already realizing that the two cheap denim pencil skirts I bought at Old Navy last year aren't really what I want, and plan on replacing them with Halogen ...well, I'll be placing my Nordstrom order tomorrow, just have to hurry up and decide what all I'm getting. I like to order at least a few things at a time - feel kind of stupid ordering just one thing.

I'm planning on getting this one:

http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/ha.....rt/3295803

What I've realized is that the five-pocket "jeans style" denim skirts aren't that flattering on my still-too-plump hourglass body. The zipper bulges out, there's weird gaping at the waist, and so on.

I think for tops, I'm going to have to get out there and shop in person.

I hate to say that I don't really have any style goals - other than to look better than I have. Is that terrible? I've noticed that there are certain things that just haven't worked out, and so I plan to avoid those things (cheap knit tops and so forth), and that I look better in skirts than I do in shorts, so I might get more of those. I'm not very coherent about this, unfortunately. My summer "closet" really is a disaster, I'm afraid.

Mo

(website)

Veteran

Hey, my original summer style goal was to not look like I shopped where the 18 year olds did lol! No big plan needed, just progress!

velvetychocolate

Veteran

Thanks Mo - I really appreciate it. It's actually a relief to know that I don't have to have my act together in terms of a style goal or a rubric or whatever it is. I mean, maybe if I had a good starting point to begin with, I could come up with something like that - but the reality is (well, at least for summer stuff), the situation is so bad that trying to come up with style descriptors or what have you is way out of my league.

The honest-to-goodness truth is that my style goal for summer is:

"I'd like to look a bit better than I have..."

Actually - I wanted to say that I do have some nice things - for fancy dinners, business trips and so on. If I suddenly had to go to a formal occasion or wedding, I could easily pull it off.

However, having said that - it's also true that my day-to-day life throughout summer is extremely casual, and this is where I'm very unprepared. Meanwhile, last summer, I spent more time living out of a suitcase than I did at home, so I didn't really shop much at all, and the things I bought were 'on the fly' and in a huge hurry in between trips.

Summer wardrobe is two extremes - fairly dressy or so casual that it looks bad. I "got away with it" last year because I was on the road so much, and the limited dressier stuff worked just fine.

Still a bit spooked to notice how bare my bedroom closet looks now that I've moved all the fall/winter stuff out of there and pulled out all the stuff I'll give away or donate or get rid of somehow.

ETA: I'm glad I spoke up and posted about this here, because until writing about it and hearing back from YLF'ers, I don't think I would have realized that I have a schizophrenic summer closet (a mix of fairly dressy and 'too' casual). Now I know what part of the problem is!

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Lets get you feeling fab for a casual Summer, VC! What does your casual Summer uniform usually consist of?

ManidipaM

Veteran

I'm nearly there myself! If not 90%, certainly about 75% of my wardrobe would not survive a do-over!

So there's a lot of making do --- ie, make sure you leave enough make-dos in even if you're less than keen on them. Anything you absolutely hate and can't *bear* to wear --- toss pronto. Ditto anything raggedy. Then look at one of Angie's capsule posts, and use it to get two bottoms -- two skirts if that's what suits you best. Thank goodness those are easier to fit than pants!

Then get 5 tops that work with those skirts... slowly! Meanwhile, use what you have and add a topper first if you can --- a lightweight topper can cover up most of the objectionable top and hold everything together until the capsule is actually built.

How're you doing for accessories? If the poor pickings in the closet are getting you down, cheer yourself up with a fresh belt or shoe, or a hair accessory or pin until you're ready to start leaving them behind without reaching that laundry bottleneck (everything decent in the wash is a nightmare)!

Lantana

Veteran

There's so much great advice here, VC. Take your time, don't panic.

velvetychocolate

Veteran

Thank you Angie!

That's just it though - my summer casual wardrobe doesn't really consist of anything! Last year, I was on the road so much, and most if it was a bit more dressy than I'd wear at home. In the space of just a few weeks I went to Vegas, came home re-packed, left the next morning for Dallas, came back from that - Dry-elled and laundered my clothes as best I could and then took off for Vancouver the next morning. Came back and then went back to Dallas again and then went back to Vancouver yet again. It was kind of insane, and I didn't really have much chance to 'get it together' in terms of shopping for summer clothes. I managed to break my suitcase during this time too.

During that time I wore things like shirt dresses, pencil skirts with blouses (cami underneath if said blouse was sheer-ish), blazers - that sort of thing. No blazers/jackets in Dallas (it was kind of an inferno there), but did wear these frequently in Vancouver.

Thing is? At home, I don't really need to dress up that much. I'm cooking up a storm, house-cleaning, working on two projects I've been asked to do from home and so on. It's too hot to wear jeans, or even long pants sometimes. I'm on the phone practically all day long. Because the day is interspersed with cleaning/cooking/dog walking, I'm not inclined to wear a dressier pencil skirt with a blouse and low-heeled sandals. I suppose I could, but I'm sure I'd feel a bit silly, especially when I start cleaning the floor while on the phone. <--yes, I do stuff like that.

I'd like to upgrade my casual summer stuff, somehow. Right now it's really, really bad - as in, ratty old knit tees and so on. Ancient shorts that don't fit all that well, the aforementioned cheap denim skirts from ON that I've since decided I don't like after all. I don't mind the idea of a denim skirt, just that the 'five pocket' style with the front zipper isn't something I like on me.

This is helpful, just writing back. I'd like some casual summer dresses that I can just throw on and that look good,without being overly stiff/dressy. More casual skirts, because I don't love how I look in shorts most of the time. Better summer tops - this is my biggest challenge - I have some old knit tees and such, but these are pretty terrible. Most of my wovens are long-sleeved, 3/4 sleeved and probably not all that casual for my real life at home.

Sorry for the novel - but thank you for asking - because in writing back, I'm getting more clear on what it is that I need. Casual 'throw on and go' dresses, better casual skirts and a bunch of summer tops that aren't cheap-looking knits. If I could find some decent-looking shorts I'd be very pleased.

I think I may have answered a lot of my own questions just by posting/venting and having YLF'ers write back with good questions and ideas. Whew - I'll get this done somehow.

Here's what I'll look for:

tons of nicer summer tops that aren't knits
more casual skirts
some nicer shorts
some fab, casual 'throw on and go' summer dresses

Oh, and I still need a few pairs of sandals too. I have a few in mind. I have *tons* of shoes, but somehow do not have good "go to" everyday sandals right now, having worn last year's into the ground.

I guess the practically empty closet kind of forces the issue?

Meanwhile, sorry this is so (very) long - no need to reply to all these details - it's true that in writing back to people here, I'm getting much more clear on what's actually needed.

Thanks again everyone!

velvetychocolate

Veteran

I will not panic - just a bit shocked at my closet after removing the stuff I'd like to donate/give away and also moving any/all fall and winter stuff out oft the way

Manidipa - thank you for the suggestions. I will get at least a couple of casual skirts and start with five nicer tops. Sounds like a do-able plan to me. In the meantime, to answer your question - I have a ton of accessories. It's absurd, really. I need to sort through all of those things too. Maybe not so much belts and such, but there's a ridiculous number of necklaces and so on. I still need to find a better way to organize this stuff, and probably also 'edit' this area as well.

Makrame

Veteran

VC, speaking of Nordstrom - if you place an order, it's usually a good idea to keep the items you ordered on the wish list for a couple of weeks so that you can get a price adjustment if the price drops. I just got price on a summer top adjusted from $34 to $20 - much more reasonable for a short sleeved top. I think Nordstrom has a big sale starting this Monday or Wednesday so I would watch out for prices dropping. But it is usually nice to have the items in hand so that they do not go out of stock while you are waiting for a sale.

Mo

(website)

Veteran

Sounds like you have the makings of a plan! I know I loved my woven 'fancy' tanks in FL last year paired with both shorts and casual skirts. A few easy summer dresses will take you a long way, too. I am seeing loose, easy shape dresses all over the place - add a cute belt, those new sandals you will be getting, and ta da. Happy shopping!

velvetychocolate

Veteran

Wow Makrame - thank you for this tip! I have tons of stuff in my wishlist, but I had not thought of keeping them in my wish list after ordering, just to keep an eye on the items for awhile. Fab tip and I really appreciate it

Mo

(website)

Veteran

I don't know if this is over sharing, but I could probably get by on these pieces, with random tops of my choice added in. 2 dresses, 2 skirts, 2 shorts. Add half a dozen tops, a completer piece or 2 and there's the makings of a summer capsule.

(Mind you I don't just get by on this - but I could lol)

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velvetychocolate

Veteran

That's really helpful Mo - this is exactly the type of thing I need for my more realistic 'at home' summer casual wardrobe.

You make a very good point - that you *could* get by with just these items plus half a dozen tops. Thank you!

I like it: Two dresses, two skirts, two shorts. Fill in with tops. I think I can do this

I keep thinking, "I need a whole new summer wardrobe" and so on, but this is very overwhelming. Narrowing it down into just these six items plus six tops makes it a lot less daunting. Plus - it allows me to focus in on two really good dresses, two really good skirts and two really good shorts. Very good advice!

jayne

Veteran

As to one of your originals worries, tossing the 75% unsuable? Well do it. FInd the 25% you want and make one or two outfits out of that and enjoy wearing them to death. There is no reason to beleive you need tons of variety if you love how you feel in the few outfits you have. I did go through this. I lost 2 sizes and it 2-3 purges to finally get rid of most of it, but now I have a much much smaller set of clothes and those I do wear again and again and am happier with each one. If you are left with a skirt and no top to go with it, then you will stop looking at those 'no good' things as saviours and go out and fill the hole with a 10 instead! Take the leap!

Claudia

Veteran

Branching off of Mo's suggestion, I thought this concept clearly pictured here recently on The Vivienne Files blog might be helpful to you too, VC.

First, a casual grouping (done with all LL Bean items):

http://theviviennefiles.blogsp.....fours.html

Second, a dressier version:

http://theviviennefiles.blogsp.....fours.html

Meredith1953

Veteran

Vc you are gettinggreat advice here so all I will add is a link to a site that show lots of ideas for capsule wardrobes. Angie also has gorgeous capsule ideas here also so this link is just another way of seeing mixing and matching.

http://www.puttingmetogether.c.....tfits.html

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

VC, this thread has been cathartic for you. You have come up with solutions on your own straight off the bat! I like your little shopping list. Go for it and we will help you along the way.

Great suggestions from the forum members.

See :). It's not all that bad. Chin up and lets get on with it!