Christmas Company party Italian style

Basia

My Dear Friends,
as some of you remember since more than a year I am discovering the Italian life style and culture working at HQ of the big European bank. This week I started to work with a new team for the new, upcoming European project. My boss is all the Italian macho cliche incarnated, starting with long hair and finishing with Gucci shoes. Have in mind Antonio Banderas in a sophisticated glasses..well, short version. There is only 3 women in the team which is more than typical for this type of business. Today arrived the e-mail invitation for Xmast party...Arrived for men only. Women were not invited. Asked for the reason my boss responded that this particular party is not an event designed for minorities.
Please forgive me writing on such fashion unrelated project by I am still in the state of shock....Well, I gues I will not have a dilemma what to wear;-)

17 years ago

General

12 replies

Latest reply was from Basia

Antje

Veteran

What?! That is unbelievable. I am so sorry to hear about your backward work environment. Sorry for my forward question, but is this typical and do you have other options?? I can only wonder how such discrimination impacts actual work related processes, e.g. opportunities for advancement etc. Gosh, I'm not fond of what I consider an overly litigious culture in the US, but this is definitely a case where I'm glad that this is something you'd win a lawsuit over here.

17 years ago

ChristineB

Active Member

Yikes!! That's awful. I would definitely be upset, but somewhat comforted in the fact that the party is probably some type of girlie entertainment that I wouldn't want to see anyway. But I agree with Antje - it does make you wonder how they feel about promoting & paying women. As a woman in a male dominant field (I'm an accountant) things like this concern me.

Maybe you'll get an extra nice Christmas bonus to make up for your lack of party.

17 years ago

Anonymous

My mouth dropped open, I bet yours did too. I can't belive a man would say something like that in this day and age. I can only presume that your daily work enviroment is also biased. I'm so sorry to hear this.

17 years ago

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

I'm finished. I can scarcely believe it, Basia. That would not fly here or in the Netherlands.

I hope Inge in Belgium chimes in.

17 years ago

Ana

(website)

Veteran

Is that legal? It's not legal in England, and I'm positive it's not legal here in the US. I'm not sure how involved you want to get in the situation, but you should not have to work in a hostile environment like that, nobody should. That's sexual discrimination. You might want to look into it and see what your options are. I'm so sorry.....what a mess.

17 years ago

Munequita

Active Member

WOW! I am left speechless. What an unacceptable and horrific thing to say and believe.

I am SO sorry!

17 years ago

Tanya

Veteran

Wow, I am speechless as well. Unfortunately, I have heard of similar stuff since my BF had to collaborate with some (male) Italians on a project a while ago.

17 years ago

Eva

Active Member

This is Italy? Wow, my firm had an EEOC claim about 12 years ago and lost over some of the same issues. They had a summer party that only men could go to. (There was a lot of other discriminatory examples.) Is it legal in Italy to discriminate or just not complained about?

17 years ago

marianne

Active Member

I am very sorry to hear it! It's so offensive and I could hardly believe it would happen anywhere in western Europe. Is it typical of Italy or is it your particular workspace, because your boss sets the tone? I would be curious if there are ways to counter this type of discrimination legally.

17 years ago

Basia

Active Member

Thanks for support and understanding! All my professional life I worked for American companies even though in the international teams. Whatever biases or showinistic ideas were there, the Americans were always crazy about even treatment of men and women or any kind of minority. If there was a crappy boss- he /she was equally painful to all of us. Life as well as business environment in Italy seems to back to 60ties.
I was in such a state of shokck because:
1. the man is new and comes from IBM- how could they not to teach him something there??
2. its a rare managerial opportunity and even my worst bosses were always taking it to show sort of " human face"
He just shot himself in a foot and that's quite a start in a new organization.....
Myself personally I am not a fun of these parties: they are mostly dull, tense and people try walk away as soon as possible. Now I getting a new perspective!

Thanks for the support. I do hope I will have some better news to report within the coming year. For sure ( and I understand why) a few women I met here are really making united front..

ChristineB: you really showed me an angle I didn't think about! Brr!

17 years ago

Inge

(website)

Moderator

I'm appalled Basia. The only thing going through my mind while reading this was 'is this happening in 2008 in Europe???' I know Italian men are often portrayed as being a bit macho, but I just can't believe this is happening.
Angie is right, I've never heard of such a thing happening in Belgium and I would be angry and shocked if I was being confronted with such discrimination.

How did your women-colleagues react? And is this a decision your boss made (just for your team), or is it a party for everybody at HQ, and is this the 'general corporate view'?

I'm so sorry Basia!

17 years ago

Basia

Active Member

Inge, this is just the idea of my boss. Other dep. are doing a normal get together. Girls complaint and what really scares me is that he may change his mind now, invite us all and then it will will be a real disaster....I felt really awkward: being new, being a foreigner....not quite sure how to react. At first I truly believed it was and misunderstanding but then the e-mail arrived. Judging by the fact that men invited instead of feeling "chosen" felt embarrassed and showed us the mail I am a bit hopeful that this is not a standard behavior...
After deeper thinking: you all see what is happening in the financial market this year. They all are after a quick change and regain the money and re-establishing some confidence. It's too soon to say if this "gentleman" is just a passing fancy or he is the example of coming changes into new type of managers: aggressive, narcissistic, interested only in themselves....Anyway hardly a way to start for me: for the complaint to HR dep..

17 years ago

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