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Choosing the RIGHT clothes to wear for a long day

Aziraphale

Veteran

As you may know, I currently have two occupations -- full-time student and housewife/mother. (I can't resist using the word housewife. It's so evocative of the 1950s, but let's face it, I keep the household running and the kids cared for, and my husband pays the bills. I AM a housewife, albeit the kind that occasionally wonders if vodka shots might help lessen the ennui).

Anywayyyyy, as a result of my new student status, I am chronically short on time. One thing I've noticed is that my patience for mucking about with clothing has dwindled to zero. And these days, my outfits put in a full day. There's none of this wearing workout gear for a morning hike, changing into real clothes to run errands and do some studio work, then swapping that for sweats before making dinner. These days -- Monday through Thursday -- I'm in the car for my morning commute by 7:00 a.m. and I don't get home until six. If I choose incorrectly in the morning, I'm uncomfortable ALL DAY LONG. And I'm discovering that some of the choices that worked just fine for three hours at a time are just awful for eleven hours straight, most of which is spent indoors. For example, leather knee boots. How do you ladies wear them indoors without getting sweaty feet and legs? I made the mistake of wearing mine yesterday. Hoo boy. Couldn't get them off fast enough when I got home. Another problem (last week) was too-tight tights. They felt OK when I put them on in the morning, but by lunch, I wanted to ball them up and toss them in the garbage. Or maybe strangle my incompetent creative process teacher with them. Except it was cold out and I would have felt very silly with bare legs, especially since I'm surrounded by teenagers and behaving like a grown woman is important to me. (And the teacher is actually a nice enough woman -- just kind of dim, and with no idea how to organize a course. We're all at a loss. I think she smoked too much pot in the 60s).

For those of you who work a long day outside of the home, how do you choose the right clothes? Trial and error? And for education purposes, what are some clothing items/styles that become annoying after a whole day of indoor wear (so I can avoid them)?

Dressing

30 replies

Latest reply was from rae

minimalist

Veteran

For the kind of days you describe, Tippi Hedren's suit from The Birds comes to mind. Ever notice how it held up throughout the movie?

Leather knee boots work indoors, in my experience, if they're leather-lined or unlined. Resting them at night with wooden shoe-stretchers AND shaft trees helps keep them fresh, too.

It's been years since I've done long days outside the house, so I don't have more specifics in mind, other than natural fibers and comfortable fit.

catgirl

Veteran

Well, you know I've been struggling with this too. My leather boots are fine inside, but I run cold. I keep layers at work, like a wrap, and I have been experimenting with knits that give me faux structure, like pencil skirts, but still move and give. Dresses, comfortable tights and boots are good, as are the NYDJ ponte trousers with a cashmere sweater.

My worry is that I'm giving up style for comfort. No control top, no shapewear, nothing that binds when I sit. It's a struggle, sister!

Caro in Oz

Veteran

Yes, breathable fabric with some "give". No tight waistbands & comfy shoes would be my first picks. Although after an 11 hour day it wouldn't matter what I was wearing I would be out of it & into a nightie as soon as I walked in the door

Anonymous

Hi, I made the transition from being at home to working 3-4 days about 1.5 ago and remember really struggling with getting myself ready in the morning. Our office is casual but I think it is important to be presentable and nicely dressed. What works for me is to stick to very basic well fitting but comfortable base clothes - almost a uniform - to build layers on. I commute by car & train, need to be able walk a bit, and ready for weather being very different at work than home. I wear low heeled to flat booties, oxfords, flats with dark jeans, and basic but nice tees. I add cardi's, scarves, interesting necklaces/earrings, and jackets. I like that I don't have to over think the outfit when I am getting ready, I just kind of start adding stuff. At work if the office is cold I pull out the cardi and/or scarf. If I have a quick meeting I can put a jacket on. After picking up the kids if we end up at the park I can ditch the layers and not worry about ruining anything. Congrats on going back to school!

Diana

Veteran

My worst is tight waistbands and belts. A lot of them shift and get tighter when you sit for a long period too. I get minor panic attacks when tight things compress my rib cage so I've learned to avoid high, tight waistbands and belts.

Conversely, though, if I'm wearing pants that are prone to stretching out, its important to remember the belt! It could be fine in the morning, and plumbers butt galore by afternoon. Nothing like hauling your pants back up all day.

Surprisingly, even though I run warm, my tall boots are generally fine indoors all day. Mine are all real leather and breathable though so that probably helps.

jurocha

(website)

Veteran

I will be watching this thread closely!

londonkiwi (now back in NZ)

Veteran

I think that it is trial and error, especially with items like tights and shoes. You don't know how an item holds up until you have put it through its paces.

I often work long days and combine mothering a 2.5 year old with a busy job as a fundraiser.

I am really seeing the advantage of a capsule wardrobe. Luckily, I can get away with the smarter end of business casual, my outfits need to work with a business jacket or blazer for when I am up at Parliament.

I find natural fibres best. My current favourite item is a pair of wool trousers. I also recommend wool (a light merino) socks for boots. Merino wicks away moisture and helps prevent smelly feet.

unfrumped

Veteran

Yes, it is a challenge, and trial by fire leads to identifying those items that make the cut. Footwear can be hard. I've had some that seemed fine for 9 hours, but not for 14! I don't stay in a blazer, but knit blazers and cardigans can pass the long- day test when a dean jacket might not. Also getting some of your outfit polish via color, or an accessory such as a necklace that doesn't carry a comfort burden, can allow that more comfortable base layer that's described by others.

Anonymous

This is my usual issue, as I am up and out the door, and then this is it for the day. This could involve a myriad of possible tasks too. So, I kind of have a uniform of boots, jeans, a T shirt or woven shirt, and then a topper of some kind, and perhaps a scarf. That way I can remove layers appropriate to the task.

I tend to run cold, so boots are never a problem for me.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Yeah, I hear you. I tend to experiment on days when I only have to be out for a few hours, and save the tried-and-true combinations for those long, demanding days.

I don't have that problem with knee-high boots, even though I am tending to run a little warmer these days in general. But I do have this issue with closed-toe shoes and no hosiery in warmer weather -- that's why I default to sandals in the summer so much.

Knit tops are our friends on days like this. Crisp button-fronts often feel like they are bunching up and a host of wrinkles by halfway through a long day. I also find I have to play it safe with layers -- stuff that again, is proven, that I can slip on and off easily (no sleeves that stick together or 3/4 sleeves that bunch up under a jacket). On my crazy days, I tend to go for non-wrinkle fabrics with drape and ease, but that I can throw a moto or other structured jacket over to feel polished. Scarves can be good or bad -- slippery silk ones require constant vigilance in case they need adjustment, but non-slippery ones can be really nice for varying temps and hiding that sauce stain from lunch.

Ugh, tight tights. I hear you. Then there's the opposite -- the tights that are ok when you put them on, but they gradually slide down your body as the day goes on.

Mo

(website)

Veteran

I wouldn't wear anything that binds or constricts too much for starters. Interestingly, when I did long days (doubles with both jobs) I was always on my feet, so a binding waistband wasn't any issue for me. Footwear was paramount. But it sounds like you are mostly sitting, so I'd look for things with ease when seated.

Von

Veteran

It's all very trial and error. There have been many days of tossing the panties that shift in the trash can (nothing worse than realizing you have bunchy VPLs mid-day!), tight hosiery waistbands that were altered with scissors, and safety pins and office supplies to fix pants that were too long to walk to lunch in the tennis shoes. It takes all of two times of leaving home in the wrong shoes to break you of the habit. You start to categorize your shoes in terms of hours. 10+ hour shoes (Comfort that I could still walk fast or even run in them), 8-10 hour shoes, 4 hour shoes (short day shoes), 1 hour shoes (Meeting or interview, walking less than a block) and car-to-table shoes (date nights only!). You live and you learn!

For the boots, I always wear tights, and then layer Smartwool knee high socks before putting on my boots. The Smartwool wicks moisture, so my legs stay dry. I'm hot natured, and I can't stand warm legs!

Also, keeping emergency gear on hand is important. A pair of basic tights from the drug store, because you never know when your tights are going to rebel on you. A pair of hosiery footies for pumps, because sweaty feet can turn a pair of 10 hour shoes into 4 hour shoes, and safety pins, because you can almost rig any malfunction with enough pins :).

Emily

Veteran

My day about an hour shy of yours in length and about the same if I run errands after work.

I immediately ditch anything that does not go the distance - like your uncomfortable tights, for example - or put them somewhere for special occasions so that I don't accidentally wear them again.

I've also found that workout socks/knickers/tees work wonders to keep me comfortable when layered under my everyday clothes. A great pair of wicking socks might help with your boots, and these gapfit breathe tees are great undershirts - http://www.gap.com/browse/category.do?cid=92363#

Lastly, I make on-the-fly adjustments if needed, such as: moleskin in case my shoes rub me the wrong way, backup flats in the car if I may be walking a lot at lunch/after work, ditching a collared shirt and running errands in a cami+cardigan if I find I am uncomfortable at the end of the day.

karymk

Veteran

My dear, you need a Uniform! I know you can figure out what works because you are a Mom, and Moms are problem solvers.

You can always keep a "style kit" in the car for quick changes--a pair of sneakers, a hat, a scarf.

Get yourself a pretty pair of hausfrau slippers for indoors--I use black satin ballerinas.

Put lipstick on before you start dinner, that way when hubby walks in you look as fresh as the moment he last layed eyes on you....

Anonymous

De-lurking briefly to recommend Commando tights. The panty/waistband is made out of some sort of miracle fabric that doesn't bind but also doesn't sag. Nordstrom carries them - I have found them to be TTS.

http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/co.....ts/3110742

Best of luck with your classes and balancing your various roles!

ironkurtin

Veteran

My rule is that if I wear something and it makes me miserable, I chuck it, because you never know when that 2-hour thing will turn into an all-day thing, and life is too short to wear things that shift, pinch, hurt, itch, sag, lint, pull up, smell weird, or bind. I have never once regretted chucking this torturewear.

I alos suggest a uniform. I thought Gwyneth actually did a pretty good job with hers, and it's not $ to copy her basics:
http://goop.com/journal/get/3/my-uniform

karymk

Veteran

Ironcurtain thanks for that link, btw. I think GPs capsule uniform is totally sensible and doable. What do you think Aziriaphale?

Ariadne

Veteran

I concur with everyone else's suggestions.

As for tights,k I just got four pairs of fleece-lined ones from Ricki's based on another forum member's suggestion and have high hopes they'll be up to my 11-hour days. They're currently 2 pairs for $20, which is a quarter of the cost of the pricey Plush brand ones I bought a couple of years ago and which fell apart after two months.
http://www.rickis.com/by-categ.....82013.html

Alassë

Veteran

Aziraphale, I'm not sure what to suggest for the right clothes during your extremely long days. As long as most of your clothes are pretty comfortable, I would think that would do and expect to want to change into loungewear just to feel relaxed after the hours away.

Boots - mine are La Canadienne, fleece lined, so no problem with bare legs if it's sufficiently cold inside.

Tights - I did spring for Plush fleece-lined ones and have worn mine 85 times since last winter (5x a week in cold weather). They are the best tights I've had for non-binding waistband (still wearing 39.5 wks pregnant!) and just feeling good on (probably because of the fleece lining). I will warn you that I've had to darn holes at the toe half a dozen times by now, but I seem to be hard on daily-use socks/tights in that area.

Thistle

Veteran

What IK said!!

For me, I look for stretch fabrics as well. If it doesn't have some stretch to it, it doesn't stay. I didn't care so much 10-15 years ago. Now it is an absolute must. And that includes jackets. I like sweater jackets and knit jackets. I find they are about the only ones I reach for anymore.

And shoes. Look for comfort brands. I know, I know, but after 11 hours, you care a lot less about style than happy feet! I will not allow myself heels greater than 1.5 inches.

I run cold, and my office is freezing, so knee high boots hep keep me warm

Aziraphale

Veteran

Amy, thanks for the suggestion for keeping knee boots fresh. Mind you, I don't have a problem with stinky footwear (either you get stinky feet or stinky underarms, but usually not both. I'm category two). It's just that I hate having hot feet! And calves, in this case.

Una, thanks for the commiseration and suggestions. We'll have to swap ideas. "Nothing that binds when I sit" -- that is so true! I wore a pair of very non-stretchy J.Crew toothpick pants the other day, and while they're usually fine, after six hours of life drawing (where you're really not paying attention to your posture!) my belly was in knots.

Haha Caro, you're so right. You should see how fast I change into my pajamas when I get home. My husband and kids don't see me in anything else! (Except Mondays...one kid has taekwondo and the other has soccer practice that ends at 8:00. I really have to pay attention to comfort on Mondays!)

Marin, thanks for the congratulations! I kind of have a uniform too, although I'm more of a minimalist than you so I don't do much in the way of jewellery or scarves. But I do wear toppers like blazers and cardigans. You're right, getting the base uniform right is key.

Diana, mine are real leather and very nice quality too. I think I'm just a freak when it comes to being too hot. (I dread to imagine what menopause will be like...).

LondonKiwi, yay for natural fibres! I'm a cotton girl at heart, although I'm experimenting with merino. Thanks for the suggestions.

Unfrumped, I think you're right about the knits and cardigans being easier for a long day. I don't use colour anymore, though. I tried bright colour for about five years and I just never felt comfortable in it. I also think it's harder (though by no means impossible) to look pulled-together in bright colours. Neutrals and more muted colours feel more naturally sophisticated to me. It might just be my perception, though. I think of it this way: peacocks look beautiful and dazzling, but you wouldn't describe them as elegant or sophisticated-looking birds, would you?

Ceit, your uniform is my uniform, minus the tall boots (I mostly do short boots). Except that I'm really trying to continue wearing skirts on some days. That's mostly where I'm running into trouble!

Janet, thanks for the suggestions. I'm actually doing ok with woven button-fronts, as long as I roll up the sleeves. You had me giggling about the falling-down tights. I've had that problem too.

Mo, sitting comfort is paramount, you're right! I can actually get away with high heels (although I don't wear them much because it's art school. I'd look weird!).

Thank you all -- I'm out of time this morning! -- will finish responding later!

Aziraphale

Veteran

Back to finishing replies!

Von -- interesting Smartwool trick. I might give that a try!

Emily -- great suggestions -- and I actually already have a strip of moleskin at the bottom of my handbag too.

karymk, I'm not sure I'm a Mom with a capital M! But I try. During the week, hubby never sees me before I'm in my pajamas, makeup off. Often he doesn't see me at all -- I'm in bed before he gets home. We are both high achievers, which means long hours of work. But it's OK, he won't divorce me. I'm irreplaceable, lol. And we make up for it on the weekends. Incidentally, I DO have hausfrau slippers -- classic Uggs! I know everyone thinks they're ugly, but I think they're adorable...as slippers. To my eye they look funny out of doors.

Also, Gwyneth's style is in some ways quite a lot like my own already. I go for a lot of grey, black and white, and jeans, with a good coat and boots. The only difference is that I totally hate leggings and tunic.

Ryce, I've heard people sing the praises of Commando tights before. I MUST get some. But I'm in Canada. I'll have to figure out where to get them. We're getting a Nordstrom's sometime next year, though, I think.

Ironkurtin -- "torturewear" ahahaaaa. Good word. I totally agree with you. My thing is, the leather boots are comfy and definitely not torturewear when worn around town, even all day. But I've discovered that I don't like my calves encased in leather when I'm indoors working all day.

Ariadne, I got a pair of Hue fleece-lined tights last week and I'm road testing them today. So far so good. I'm in and out of doors more than usual today, though.

Alasse -- Plush fleece-lined tights. Got it. Will make mental note.

Thistle, sounds like we have the opposite problem -- I'm hot, you're freezing! and I can wear any heels I like, as I'm sitting down a lot. But I agree that it's no fun when you feel restricted. I often take off my blazer and roll up my sleeves to work. I pretend I'm a 19th-century draughtsman.

Scarlet

Veteran

Hmm, I have been having long days for years due to long commutes and working hours. So it's so second nature at this point I can't even think of advice, but maybe that's why I absolutely can't tolerate anything digging into my stomach. The rise on pants are very important and so are cooperative tights. I'll be wanting to check out those commando's. Real leather boots haven't been a problem for me, but my feet run cold.

Ariadne

Veteran

I didn't know Hue made fleece-lined tights! Where did you get them?

MsMary

Veteran

I can't really help with the fashion dilemma, but I'm popping in to say that vodka shots to lessen the ennui are a time-honored component of housewivery. See, e.g., Betty Friedan's The Feminine Mystique.

catgirl

Veteran

And there is always The Cursing Mommy:

http://thattherepaul.com/featu.....tails.html

Aziraphale

Veteran

Ariadne, I got them from the Bay. I saw them last year but didn't spring. I couldn't resist this year. Opaque black tights are not normally my thing, but they looked soooo cozy. Now that I think about it, I'm not sure if they were labelled "fleece lined", but they definitely have a super-soft, brushed texture on the inside. And I can now attest: they ARE comfortable. The waistband is 2" wide, stretchy, and doesn't dig in AT ALL. So far so good. We'll see how they hold up after a few washes.

MaryK and Alaskagirl, both your posts made me laugh out loud. (yes, I've read the Feminine Mystique. First time I've heard of the Cursing Mommy!)

londonkiwi (now back in NZ)

Veteran

@MaryK - I never understood why my Mum needed a drink so soon after 5pm, until I became a mother and it all made sense

Aziraphale - the merino that we wear a lot of in New Zealand is very fine. I don't know if you have the Icebreaker brand in Canada, but it is similar to that. All the shops here carry it in winter. It is worn as a top layer and also as a base layer.

I also recommend silk or silk/cotton mixes. They dry quicker than cotton and are a bit more fluid in movement.

Von

Veteran

For anyone seeking Hue Fleece tights (in the US at least), my TJ Maxx is full of them, for under $10. They actually have quite a few other brands of fleece lined tights as well.

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