Cheering up, and a love letter to YLF (ETA, long answer!) - YouLookFab Forum

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Cheering up, and a love letter to YLF (ETA, long answer!)

Peri

Veteran

I feel like I've been whining too much lately, airing my frustrations. I'm so sorry about that! I have been trying so hard to start a summer closet almost from scratch, and I let the chore part of that take away the fun part of that.

For me, the chore part is rather large because a) despite being on a fashion forum, I don't like to shop, b) summer is my least favorite season and c) some limitations add to the challenge so it's not just see it, like it, buy it, for me.

But...in one of the whiney posts several of you reminded me that I'm not on a deadline, and to slow down and take the pressure off. The pressure was wanting a few things to wear! But it does help to realize the no deadline part and that my life makes it pretty easy to get away with minimal without anyone else knowing.

So...the cheering up part. Very odd! I went back through my photos since December and got reminded how much I love my Fall and Winter clothes. Well, that's always been my easy season, but never so much as this past year due to learning so much from all of you! So that really helped cheer me up because I realized, as we often say, the troubles of the moment aren't me...these clothes don't get me!

So...the love letter part. Prior to my time on YLF I:

Never took selfies, so there would have been no record of past success.
Wouldn't have explored new styles over the winter to arrive at my happy place with that season.
Would have no clue of any goal...no style words or idea of what I like.
Would still have a closet jammed with dated, worn out things and be wearing them because I had no other options.
Would have no idea of the multitude of options to look for things other than obvious trends.
Wouldn't even know about several items that I have bought and loved.
Wouldn't know of any lines to look at other than the Mall standards.
Would have shopped for three weeks, gotten frustrated and would have decided to give up completely and wait for the next season. (I know this because it is what I did every season for about 3 years prior).

So...thank you Angie and YLF! Summer has always been a challenge. I will keep trying, remove any deadline, and remain as P & P as P(ractical). And try to whine less!

General

18 replies

Latest reply was from

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Hear hear!!

Most of what you say about your pre- YLF days describes me, too. I really didn't like to shop, felt overwhelmed really quickly, and had nothing to wear, ever, despite a bunch of clothes in my closet.

And, if it will make you feel any better, my first two spring-summer seasons on YLF I felt pretty much at a loss, also. I did eventually find a few things to buy, but really, I was making do just to be decently clothed. This is the first spring-summer season where I have felt able to identify what might really work for me -- and then find it. It does take a while. You need a certain "baseline," I think, before you really can get going. It might be five core items -- it doesn't have to be a ton of clothes. But it has to be something from which you can begin to make outfits that feel like proper "outfits," if you know what I mean.

Your winter wardrobe was fantastic and looked gorgeous on you as well as perfectly suited to your work and life. I am SURE you will get there for summer, too. It just may take a few seasons to figure out the kinds of tops that will do the job.

Any chance of duplicating that amazing Ted Baker in a different colour?

shedev

Veteran

Summer is a tough fashion for many of us. Wear the heck out of the few things you like most. Maybe you are tailor made for the minimal wardrobe. Less items=less shopping. Fall will be here before you know it.

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

Hear, hear!

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Peri, I've also been thinking about dominant season. Spring/ summer really is yours, correct? And that is frustrating because you like fall/ winter clothing more?

I'm thinking...have you been able to analyze what worked for you in the fall/ winter shopping? You were able to find things that work for you...but why? What qualities did you love that you have not been able to find in summer tops? Because I assume we are mainly talking about tops here. I know that bottoms are a constant issue for you, and footwear, also, but you are pretty used to dealing with that and have even discovered some improvements as styles move away from skinny skinny skinny. So what about the tops you've tried has been so difficult? Which ones have you tried? Maybe we can suggest some specific alternatives if we know better which ones did not work, and why.

Debbie

Veteran

Peri-I am so glad you are feeling better. I love fall/winter clothes but my dominant season is spring/summer. I never feel like I have enough tops. I think it's because I have to wear them for so many months out of the year.
Do you have the app for YLF? I find that sometimes it really does. Help to take pictures while shopping.
You will find your spring/summer groove!

Alana in Canada

(website)

Veteran

Hi! I just joined--so I haven't read any of your so-called whiny posts! But I understand. I have many, many fit issues--and availability issues--but I am so thrilled to have found what I have that I could happily wear these few pieces all summer.
I am not a shopper either, and I am not very patient--so good for you!

Beth Ann

Veteran

So glad to hear you're feeling a bit more optimistic these days! I'm equally pleased to read that list of successes you've experienced since joining YLF!

I think Suz has a great point. A little analysis around your fall/winter purchases might be helpful. For example, looking for similar silhouettes in lighter fabrics, the same sort of prints in lighter colors, etc.

Peri

Veteran

Thanks for the support..and Suz for the suggestion. I will give it a try because I think you all are so much more creative than I am about finding things that echo a style. That's why I didn't sign up for the challenge chain...I knew I wasn't ready for any more challenge. I'm constantly amazed with both the challenges and the results.

So here goes, even though I really do think a lot of this is not something I can control. The reason I have trouble with summer is the heat, pure and simple. I've always been hot natured and even though I'm through the worst of it I still make my own heat with an occasional fun power surge. Which is all super in the winter, but paired with 99 and humid, not so happy.

So I have these rules, not to be a prima donna, but based on what I've bought and not worn in the past.

Summer cannot be polyester. I have a few and they can do for teaching, but can't really leave the house. That so limits the use I'm trying not to buy any more polyester tops.
Ditto silk...it feels very hot to me and add in the dry-cleaning expense cause I'm gonna sweat in it.
That leaves cotton, rayon and tencil. Hard to find!! Has anyone noticed how ubiquitous polyester is in tops this summer? I could have bought 20 tops I thought were pretty by now if they were not polyester.
Summer also cannot be sheer. I don't care how light and filmy something is, as soon as a cami goes under said light and filmy (polyester) it is a double layer of not breathing.

So...what do I prefer about my winter clothes? I still don't buy thick wool, just some light cashmere, but in the winter I don't have to factor in what I can tolerate, just what Iike. I can wear scarves, so I get my dose of fun and colorful and feel elevated into a real outfit, even without a topper. (I don't wear them in the winter and really don't wear them in the summer.)

And winter...at least this past one which was my first major shopping...was so easy to find colors I like. I'm just not finding them this summer. Where did all the purple, berry, and orchid go? Suz, I know you join me in the orchid love...have you found any? Where is the blue that isn't icy pale or turquoise?

Yeah...I feel like these things can't really be helped! But, I'm still shopping...and I'm open to suggestions of how to imitate my winter style in the heat! Thanks!

cinnamon fern

Veteran

Peri, what about linen? There is a lot around right now, and it's great for hot weather. How about something like this?

http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/ei.....petite/364

Peri

Veteran

Thanks Cinnamon. I have on order a short sleeve EF linen T...really hoping it works. So far I have tried on linen T shirts from JC, BR and some department store lines and they have all been too sheer. Like bra showing even in the navy one I tried. I just don't like that! But I'm hoping EF won't be see-through.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Peri, thanks for humouring me with a response to this.

I SO hear you on polyester for summer. I don't do it either, and I don't even live in a super hot climate!

I am also all about the natural fibers in summer. I do silk, so that expands my options a little bit, but otherwise, I limit it to cotton, rayon (rarely...since it wrinkles so and I find it difficult to find nicer versions), viscose or bamboo, and....yes, LINEN. So...my suggestions are:

Eileen Fisher. The aesthetic is yours down to the ground, she makes amazing linen pieces (CF has linked to one!) and some of them are in fun colours. Nordstrom had a ton her her stuff. Angie picked a lot of her items this year. As for berries and orchid, this season, Eileen is your girl. Lots to choose from. You might not like all the necklines or sleeves but there are other versions of these on the site -- some already on sale.

If it is see through, layer with a very light cotton tank. Seriously. I know the very idea of layering sounds ridiculous, but trust me -- it is worth a try. This is what IronKurtain does all the time!

Also, if linen knits do not do, then try a linen or cotton-linen shirt. J. Crew's are really nice and not see-through.

Eileen Fisher Organic Linen Classic Collar Boxy Shirt (Regular & Petite)

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Eileen Fisher Cap Sleeve Organic Linen & Cotton Scoop Neck Top (Regular & Petite)

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Eileen Fisher Bateau Neck Organic Linen Top (Regular & Petite)

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Eileen Fisher Ballet Neck Cap Sleeve Top (Regular & Petite)

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Eileen Fisher U-Neck Organic Linen A-Line Tee

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Isis

Veteran

Peri, I can totally relate. Summer is my dominant season and I run hot. I find the absence of toppers, boots and even pants make outfits less interesting.

I also ban polyester for the summer, but can wear some kinds of silk. I find loosely woven silk to be wonderfully cool, but not heavier weights, more tight weaves. So you may try a different kind of silk. For example the Nexx silk blouses are hot; Equipment silk in a sheer weave is not. (though the latter require a cami). Cotton and silk combo's are cool and also wear well.

I have a large collection of sandals and belts. That can help a more simple outfit of shorts/top/sandals feel more interesting. But I agree; it's a struggle!

texstyle

(website)

Veteran

Peri- I have to dress for summer most of the year here in Texas. I love the light weight cotton/silk blend blouses from jcrew - I've only bought patterns and they are some of the only patterns in my closet, some of their linen (navy is not sheer on me), and of course anything called "cotton lawn" will be ultra light (but could require ironing if not in a pattern or you want no visible wrinkles. I found a plaid cotton gauze shirt recently and love how cool it is too. My linen/cotton blend button downs from BR are also not sheer (I have a blue, a blue/white stripe and a white with pockets - I suppose the pockets help to solve the "too sheer" problem spots in the white).

I am able to dress very casual so I do wear my share of simple tees (oversized slouchy tees in cotton or cotton/linen. I sometimes go through a couple a day in the hot summer so I buy duplicates.

I've found a couple of rayon things that are cool enough and have a slightly dressier vibe.

I like white and taupe but not so much pastels. I love wearing navy and emerald green in summer - jewel tones are my usual preference so I try to make those favorite colors more summery by wearing them with lighter toned bottoms and shoes.

Peri

Veteran

Thanks for the links and the suggestions.

Suz, the sleeveless one you pictured is the one I have already ordered. Here's hoping!

unfrumped

Veteran

Glad you are feeling more positive.

I've also found it's easy to get unrealistic about making changes--want everything fixed, right away. But another thing YLF has been good for is recognizing, it'll never be finished but still has to be fun. So the process has to evolve in a way that is sustainable and not frustrating or overwhelming.

I recently went to a work-related party that I presumed was casual, but did not have access to info on "dress code. " As you know, for ladies there are a dozen shades of casual and also a lot of individual style and flexibility--so even more information might not have helped since this person or that are going to wear what they want or what they've got--as it should be! At several points before the party, I wished I had a different this or that--should I get updated sporty luxe shoes; should I try to make a casual skirt outfit when I didn't really have one. All of these worries would drive me to shop for something. Eventually in SYC I tried on several things and came up with what was most " me" , was summery and casual but not sloppy, included last year's top and flats that I still liked, and determined not to worry about it. It was all fine!

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

That's the spirit, Peri. xo

suzyq

Have you checked out Jjill lately? They usually have excellent quality. Mostly cotton, linen and some wrinkle free rayon in the wear ever line. They always have sales, some killer. I know some think of them as for women of a certain age but you can find some good/simple pieces there. They have an excellent search engine and buyer feedback as well. Not a lot of purples this season but they have corals and pinks and even a few asymmetrical styles.

Anonymous

Have you tried a cami like this:

http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/ha.....ts-_-1_2_B

I find these loose fitting rayon camis with another light layer just as cool as one top that isn't sheer.

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