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Casual Style

Anonymous

I have written similar posts in the past. As I switch out my wardrobe, I am once again facing the question of whether I have a casual style. By that I mean "can I answer the door in this outfit or do I have to wildly run upstairs to change prior to going to the door?" Nine times out of ten there is a mad dash up the stairs.

The collective wisdom of the Forum probably won't help me this time. I think it is going to be exercise in experimentation.

Here is what I know so far: I must be one of the few women on the face of the Earth that finds jeans uncomfortable. To me, they are "heavy." I can't explain it any better then that. I also view them as "field" wear.

At work, I like fitted and coordinating outfits. At home, I seem to want big, baggy, and rather shapeless. Comfortable, but these same words translate to "sloppy." I don't what those descriptors to be define my casual style. I want something more. I just am not certain what that might be.

So I am going to make it my goal to define some sort of casual uniform. Yes. I do think it has to be a uniform. I say this because I need to start with just one silhouette. Dissect why it does or does not work and then try to build a casual capsule around what works. I will have to force myself to not change into the big, baggy, and shapeless clothes when I get home. I won't buy anything new for the time being because when I try to add to my casual capsule I end up buying more "what I wish I wore casually" and that does not seem to work for me.

Jeans. I so wish I loved wearing jeans. Sigh.

Dressing

35 replies

Latest reply was from dashielle (Ann)

Astrid

Veteran

I'm with you on the jeans... I realised recently that I just don't feel fab wearing the jeans that I have. Are they practical? Yes. Are they uncomfortable? To me, no. But they just make me feel totally blah. I have to make a real effort with the rest of the outfit to make the whole thing into something I feel fabulous in. Emphasis on feel, not to be confused with the way I look. Most of the time I can't be bothered to invest the energy and in the end just throw on a simple t-shirt, pullover and sneakers. And feel terribly blah. Put me into a skirt and suddenly the magic happens. Add simple shoes and a plain tee or pullover to the skirt and I feel like all is right with the world. No where does that leave me?

As for casual style, do you mean casual street clothes worn at home? Or is it more lounge wear we're talking about? Btw, I'm in lounge wear as soon as I know I won't leave the house one more time. I usually wear black jogging pants/shorts with a simple solid colored tee and if needed one of my slightly oversized wool pullovers over it. No mad dash needed if there is someone at the door...

carter

Veteran

Why not stick with ponte? You love it at the office. Just ditch the zip fly in the pants, and pop on a ponte tunic or other long thing, and you'll always look "dressed".

These are all head-to-toe ponte looks from JJill.
http://www.jjill.com/jjillonli.....=679898734

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Anonymous

Sterling, you always raise such great topics! As with many of your posts, this could be me. I try not to buy casual wear as it's my "life I don't have" item: I live in a remote area so little risk of anyone ringing my doorbell -- and the rest of my life is mainly work or outings that I like to get a bit above casual for. I wear a lot of old loungewear at home, if I didn't I'd never cook or clean as I'd worry about ruining my clothes. But I'd like to do better.

I also don't love the feel of jeans around my waist, but I do try to wear them because they help me gauge if I'm gaining weight--something I'd never know if I wore my usual drawstring or elastic waist pants. I like Carter's idea of ponte and will be following this thread with interest. Thanks for posting!

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Carter nailed it. If you have an overall modern classic style, this could be your at-home uniform.

If your style is more arty-eclectic, try Eileen Fisher (or similar items at a lower price point).

If your style is sporty luxe, try jogging pants/ capris/ leggings with a fashionable hoodie or tunic pullover (or tee depending on weather).

You could absolutely go to the door in any of those outfits.

Lots of people find jeans uncomfortable. I think pear shapes and hourglasses in particular find them binding in the wrong places. If you have a long rise, many jeans (until the return of high rise) would fail you.If you live in a hot climate they are too hot; if you live in a cold climate, they are too crisp and not warm enough. All kinds of reasons not to love denim.

One key question for you will be the one that Astrid asks. When you are at home (or any away from work situation) do you want to be in loungewear, or in regular clothes?

It sounds as if you might prefer some structure in your work wardrobe and some softness in your at home wear?

If so, that is similar to me. Yet, as someone who works from home, I was tired of looking schlubby in my workout wear all the time. (My husband almost never saw me in anything else!!)

So I made the decision to wear casual but comfortable REAL clothes when I am working at home -- not loungewear per se. (For me this does include jeans since I find the right jeans comfortable. Notice I said "the right" jeans. Not all jeans are equal.)

But another person could decide the opposite and it would be equally valid.

Maybe it's key to consider the relative importance of this capsule. What proportion of your time do you spend in this type of clothing? For me, it was basically 80% of the time. So it made sense to buy accordingly. If I don't feel fab in my at-home wear, I don't feel fab.

Anonymous

Great idea, Carter. Ponte pants are likely going to become the backbone of my casual, at home wardrobe. I have looked at the J Jill ponte pants, but I am trying to find them on sale and that hasn't happened yet. I'll keep looking.

Astrid -- My lounge capsule is my favorite of all my capsules. It is the perfect size to meet all my needs and the perfect combination of comfort to soothe my soul. I would literally live in my lounge clothes if I never had to leave the house or worry about the doorbell ringing.

What drove this home for me was last weekend. I was having a fabulously lazy Saturday. I was wearing lounge clothes cruising the internet, talking on the phone, and noshing on finger food. All was good in my neighborhood. Then about 11:30 am, the doorbell rang. I nearly had a stroke. I literally ran upstairs and changed in a matter of minutes. I answered the door with uncombed hair and slight panting. I imagine I looked a sight because my neighbor looked so surprised. What didn't help was she was at the wrong house. In fact, she was lost. Sigh.

After I caught my breath, I recommitted to working on my casual wear. I imagine casual wear will be several steps up from lounge wear. For one thing, I will definitely be wearing a bra. My face will be washed and my hair will be combed.

I am going to define one single casual wear outfit. Carter -- you would recognize this outfit. It will consist of my grey ponte pants (the ones I wore during the 30 x 30 challenge). I will add a dressier tee shirt and maybe a cardigan. No more fleece. No more lounge pants at 11:30 am. I'll start there and see where it takes me.

Thanks Aliona. So nice to hear from you. I hope we both from learn this thread.

Anonymous

Suz - so helpful. I wear work clothes from 5:30 am until about 4:30 pm on Monday through Friday. I want to strip those clothes off and put on jammies the minute I enter the door. But jammies at 4:30 pm? If I could rest assured that I was home and that no one would come the door, I would skip the casual capsule all together and only have the work and lounge capsules. Casual capsules are hard. They take up too much brain power. I am never quite satisfied.

Astrid

Veteran

Oh alright! I get that you want something more dressed up, then. I guess for me the dilemma doesn't exist because I wouldn't hesitate to answer the door in my lounge wear. My pants are substantial enough and look decent and I don't feel the need. And I wear a bralette with my tee, which is enough for me. You see many people here in the city walking around outside in clothes worse than my lounge wear, so I don't care all that much if I open the door wearing it. Also, just to clarify - my lounge wear isn't the same as my pajamas. I only wear those for sleeping.

SarahTheWhite

Veteran

This is a great thread! I adore my stay home comfy clothes. I do love wearing jeans out of the house, but as soon as I get home, I feel like I am suddenly wearing a torture device. I kid you not, I can feel completely comfortable in jeans and work clothing - I won't even think about it - but as soon as I am in my home, it is all too much. My favorite silhouette is leggings with a tunic/dress or skirted leggings and tank tops. I love to layer with log sweaters or cropped thin sweatshirts to stay warm in the AC. I do sometimes need to make the mad dash when someone comes to the door because I hate bras, but I seldom get people coming too the door.

abc

Veteran

I love your idea to work on a silhouette and dissect it to analyze what works and what doesn't.

It just made me a little sad that you seem to be hard on yourself - no certain pants at 1130 and hair and makeup must be done. Doesn't that kinda take the joy out of that lazy Saturday you described (which btw sounded like heaven to me)? I think you have to find a balance. I know for me on my days off I don't wanna have to get "all dolled up" early and actually relish in my comfy clothes or even PJs until I feel like mentally I am ready to start my day. I guess it's my way of rebelling against yet another day of the grind. I suppose you have to find your own balance, I just don't want you to lose the fun factor for the times you're just at home.

Anonymous

I considered leggings. The oddest thing has happened over the course of the past few months. I am bothered by whatever fabric makes up my leggings. This is completely new. I don't know what brought it on or if it is a permanent thing. I was a little worried that ponte pants would have a similar effect. They haven't (yet).

Anonymous

Oh, I know this dilemna well! And now that I am retired, I have it in reverse. What to put on when I wake up in the morning, but don't have plans to leave the house for a few hours. I don't really want to do laundry and walk the dog in the "nice" clothes I plan to wear out to lunch or whatever. But staying in my comfy pjs is not a good option.
I admit, I default mostly to gear for this part of my day. Either workout tights and tops with whatever top layer I would wear to/from the studio (light weight cardigan, cropped joggers, etc. ). Sometimes hiking-type bottoms with a t-shirt. I never imagined I would wear the hiking clothes other than for their intended purpose, but find I really like their comfort and utility (all those little zipper pockets are so handy). Both of these looks, especially the studio workout gear, are pretty standard uniforms in my neighborhood, so that helped with my decision.
Sounds like you are aiming for something a bit more polished. Look forward to seeing how you sort this out.
PS. So sorry you are having trouble with certain fabrics - do you think it is the spandex that you are reacting to?

Sara L.

Veteran

Have you tried JAG pull-on jeans? I don't find jeans particularly comfortable either but the pull-on ones are much more comfortable than a regular waistband.

I've keep thinking that leggings and tunics would be a great casual outfit uniform but I can't seem to get it right. If the tunic is too baggy I feel sloppy, too tight and I feel self-conscious, sometimes the leggings stick, etc. I just can't seem to get it right.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Sterling, what is your lifestyle - do you work from home?

Anonymous

Thanks for asking, Angie. I work in the office from 6:30 am until 3:30 pm (engineering/science office) on Monday through Friday. I am somewhat of an introvert during my off time. I mostly stay at home and putter in the evening hours.

My problem may be that I have some pre-conceived idea of how I am supposed to be put together for casual wear. Now I compare everything I wear casually to that pre-conceived idea. Perhaps step 1 is actually re-thinking my idea of what casual wear is for me.

Ryce, it may be the spandex. I'll be researching that shortly. Whatever it is, it just started this past summer.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Thanks, Sterling. And it's an office away from home with other people? If so, what do YOU usually wear, and what do THEY usually wear?

Marlene

Veteran

Sterling - I am on Team Ponte Pants! I wear them casually around the house and they have, over time, taken the place of most of the jeans in my wardrobe. I find I can wear them lounge-y around the house with a long sweatshirt or hoodie. Then switch the top out for something more "clothes-like" when I have to go out in public. Ponte pants have all the benefits of yoga "pants" without all the horrors of being super exposed.

That being said..I do still have jeans. I finally found a style and fabric that works for me....Cabi. I find that their denim is super soft and I hardly notice it. I also find Cabi fits me well. Like you, I find denim uncomfortable and binding and noticed that many of my jeans sat unworn most of the time. Now that I have some I can wear comfortably, I am reaching for them more often. It's good to have a pair or two in the wardrobe. When I don't have to tuck into high boots with my ponte pants, I like to be wearing a pair of straight legs with booties. Keep hunting around until you find a brand and style that you can live with.

Anonymous

I wear more fitted, conservative attire at work (dress slacks, pencil skirts, blouses, blazers, and more recently, cardigans). Outfits in my section run the gamut from field-appropriate to meeting-appropriate. I am probably one of the most professionally dressed in my peer group. I only say this because I work hard to present myself professionally. I frequently wear dress slacks or skirts/blouses/low heels. I always add a third layer during the Winter months. I strive for modern classic. Because it is engineering, anything too advent grade would be a distraction. I work within my cultural norms.

I see the value in posting WIWs. While I haven't done so yet, I am seriously considering it because I could only benefit from other's wisdom.

Thanks for asking, Angie. Your insights are always welcome.

oceanbluestyle

(website)

Member

Being a teacher I cannot work anything too stylish because it will get dirty sort of. So jeans it has to be. And I am sitting here on my laptop on a Friday evening in capri sweat pants. I wear jeans a lot but actually do not really like them. But they just fit my lifestyle. Have you ever tried wearing chinos in grey or pastel? Best, Sabina

catseye

Veteran

I have no problem answering the door in pajama pants. What does that say about me?

Some jeans are more comfortable than others. I need them to be a bit higher in rise, and not too stiff.

MTBGirl

Veteran

Don't have time to comment more now, but Sterling, I noticed you said you were waiting for JJill sale on the ponte pants. You can use code SEPTE25 in stores and online right now for 25% off.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

What about jogger or track pant styles? I have the Finds below and wear them for all kinds of casual days. Also the Calvin Klein joggers in this link, on sale:

http://www.calvinklein.com/shop/en/ck/11574626

The comfort can't be beat, they're still on trend, and they look polished enough to answer the door in.

Zella 'Inspire' Capris

Sale

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Topsail Joggers

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Sal

Veteran

In winter I tend to wear leggings or yoga pants and a sports hoodie or maybe Ponte pants with a long cardigan and tee. There are some great sportswear hoodies around, mine is Under Armour, it is three years old now and still in great condition despite being worn at least twice pretty much every single week.

In summer I like a maxi dress, shorts and a tank, or harem pants and tank/tee.

I think brushing hair, teeth, a decent bra and slippers ( in winter) all help to make you feel pulled together even if it is a very casual and scruffy look.

kerlyn

Veteran

Like some of the other ladies said, I wear jeans out but change into soft pants immediately upon returning home. I'm usually wearing gear early in the day, since I usually exercise then. But in the evenings I've all too often resorted to baggy yoga pants and loose tees. I'm trying to up my game in the loungewear department, so I've been replacing some of my old yoga pants with cute leggings and tunics or other soft pants. I agree with the idea of ponte pants. They may be just what you need. The ones I have are very comfortable.

Unfortunately my mailman and the UPS guys have seen me in every conceivable state. They probably wouldn't recognize me without the gear or loungewear! Luckily, the other stay-at-home moms in my neighborhood dress pretty much like I do around the house and yards, so I don't worry too much if they pop by(especially now that I've gotten rid of the worst of the yoga pants!)

carter

Veteran

Fond memories of the gray ponte pants! I worry though that even though your top half may be more casual, your bottom half is still dressed for work. I'm not sure you'll get the same mental shift as you would changing into baggy sweats.

Your thoughts on jeans make me smile...and remind me of my dad. One day not too long ago it occurred to me that I'd never seen my dad wear jeans. When I asked my stepmom if she had, she laughed. She said that many years ago she asked him if he ever wore jeans...he looked at her and said, "why would I? I'm not a farmer." I grew up wearing jeans every moment outside of school. I probably have 30 pair in my closet. He never once asked me if I was going to plow the back 40! I had no idea how he felt about them.

Liz

Veteran

I think your recognition that you have a pre-conceived idea of what you are supposed to look like is key. What are you thinking you should be wearing at home on a Saturday? I have a sneaking suspicion that your version of "baggy, shapeless" or "sloppy" when at home is actually quite nice. Or, in other words, I don't think most of us would use those words if we could actually see what you're wearing.

Aida

Veteran

I also like big floppy clothes at home, and change shortly after work. But hey on a Saturday where I'm just chilling and relaxing at home? If someone comes to the door that's just how they're going to see me. And that's fine, none of those clothing pieces are ratty. If it ends up being something that leads to being presentable (friends, family, etc.) I'll simply excuse myself for a moment to go change into more appropriate casual attire.

MrsK

What about Gap's studio to street wear - jogger pants / street joggers with a tee and one of these cute jackets when the weather is cool?

http://www.gap.com/browse/category.do?cid=1026957

(And Gap pretty much always has 40% off codes.)

I searched Macy's for "jogger pants" and came up with a huge list:
http://www1.macys.com/shop/sea.....gger+pants. And I find a lot of Calvin Klein's performance line to be really comfortable and cute (lots of color available, if you like color).

I also used to have this problem - I went from living in a neighborhood where no one ever really "dropped by" to one where I have someone knock on my door almost every day. And I don't love jeans/jean shorts anymore either. Once I drop my daughter at school in the morning, I come home, change from my jeans/shorts to jogger pants or my Athleta yoga pants that I love (usually leaving on the cute top I already had on with the jeans) and then I change my bottoms back when I go pick her up.

Even though I work from home, I do have to go out of the house every morning, and I find putting on makeup and doing my hair goes a long way in making my at home, casual outfit look even more pulled together, even when it is just yoga pants and a cute workout tee (I just bought this Calvin Klein performance burnout tee and really like it.)

dakotacheryl

Veteran

First...I have to say that I HATE "drop in" company. I think it's rude for a person to "assume" that I want to be interrupted in whatever I'm doing just because it's convenient for them!!

If they do drop by uninvited they will see me in my at home clothes of leggings, sweats etc. with a comfy top. I do style my hair every morning because it looks a fright after sleep, and put light makeup on because it makes me feel better.

I like jeans for outside casual wear, but not for lounging at home.

anne

Veteran

I don't like wearing jeans at home either, especially in the evening. Like you I wear my mostly structured work clothes for around 11 hours a day - and then I want to rip them off and put on something comfy the minute I get home.

Where I am different from some people here, is that we have people currently at our house 4-5 nights a week. They are uni students, members of our church here for various activities. While there is no expectations of dressing up, I do have a slightly different "cozy casual" look when I know they'll be there. *

I don't wear my tracksuit pants then, or my fleece jacket. I do wear a fun oversized sweater, with leggings (which I know you can't do) or ponte pants, or a knit maxi skirt with thick cotton tights underneath and a tailored turtleneck on top. In warmer weather I'll wear pattern pants and a tee, and when the weather becomes really hot I just wear the same sack shaped sundresses I wear everywhere non airconditioned.

The cozy casual capsule does need a bit more work, partly because it is pretty small and the items get worn many times - but I hope some of these ideas may help a little. I do have to make a slight distinction between actual lounging - like reading or watching TV, as opposed to active housework - a poncho or drapy jacket will be fine for the former, but will be in the way when washing up!

*otoh I sometimes just believe in being kind of open and real. A few weeks ago someone came around early Sat to meet up with DH for a bit prior to their to drive to a convention together - and I did let him see me (briefly) in my ankle length dressing gown and unbrushed hair.

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