I think you're right and a lot of women are wearing shoes that are tolerable but not necessarily comfortable. And as we age, that distinction becomes more pronounced. I think it's starting to catch up with me, and I guess I'm lucky that I've made it to nearly 50 before conceding to lower heels. I started a thread about my lowering heel tolerance recently too.
For me, I'm starting to feel the difference more in one foot than the other (my larger, seemingly more vulnerable left foot). I even googled hammertoe recently in fear that I might be showing early stages of it. So I'm taking more care lately, and I'm not buying any more high heels now -- in fact, I'm selling some of my higher heeled footwear to make room for the lower, more comfortable options.
I agree with lisap about the art-ification of the comfort lines of shoes. Not my thing either, even though a few years ago it was. And most comfort lines suit a wide foot better than a narrow foot, with the exception of Pikolinos. So for now I don't pay much attention to comfort lines, but try to find stylish, modern styles that work for my low-volume feet. The blue Modern Vice booties for example -- pulling them out of the box, I feared they would be stiff and too narrow, but they suit my feet beautifully and were thoroughly comfortable for a full day of wear, including city walking, stairs, etc.
So I guess I'm not offering much in the way of suggestions or advice, so much as commiseration. I had such totally unfussy feet for so long, it's a little disconcerting that I now have to think about this more carefully! But it's also making me shop for shoes more thoughtfully.