Can we talk a little more about "edge"? - YouLookFab Forum

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Can we talk a little more about "edge"?

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I've been in a little bit of a body-image funk lately, which I'm pretty certain has resulted from a bit of exercise neglect and overindulgence over the holidays, but that's beside the point. I'll get back on track.

One thing I've been trying to do during this funk is reevaluate where I'm going stylewise, because the first thing I do in a funk is start second-guessing EVERYTHING. Except for maybe my choice of husband.

I don't want to get too bogged down in analysis, but I'd love some feedback and ideas, so I thought I'd put it out to you brilliant ladies for some discussion.

Most of you know I am drawn to style that is a bit outside the norm. I'm an artist, and I can dress however I like. I am not big on labeling oneself, but the description of "sophisticated rock'n'roll" does resonate with me. I don't want to be *too* avant garde, but I like standing out a bit, and I believe I already do. But as I refine and rethink my style as I approach the end of my 40s, I want to be more intentional and focused on how I add that elusive "edge" to my outfits, especially since my taste is getting simpler and I am attracted to fewer embellishments.

Here's where I get frustrated. My body seems to defy "edgy" silhouettes. My very hourglassy/pear shape probably is most flattered by traditional waist-defining or at least skimming silhouettes: bootcut jeans, fit-and-flare dresses, etc. My legs don't look great in shorter hemlines, and it's darn near impossible to find midi length anything that does not look like it is meant for a corporate environment. I do a bit of waist surrender but am not emotionally comfortable sacrificing a lot of figure flattery for edge.

I rely heavily on footwear and jackets to bring edge to my style, and that is a godsend because I love my boot and jacket collection, but that feels so limiting. Do you have ideas on how I can balance "edge" and flattery as I move forward? I welcome your ideas! Sometimes it's too easy to get pulled into a rut based on body type and what one believes to be flattering, so feel free to challenge me.

If you've read all this, thanks for indulging me!

Dressing

45 replies

Latest reply was from rae

gryffin

Veteran

Janet - I was just reading about those kamalikulture dresses that Angie recommended. They look like they would make an excellent backround for the look you are after. I personally really like getting my "edge" with footware and jackets. As an artist, what does your accessory collection look like? Do you have some realy bold jewelry? Cuffs, large chunky necklaces? A simple silhouette that shows your beautiful figure, why am I see monochromatic, but with a statement jacket, fab boots and a striking unusual piece of jewelry is how I am seeing you? Does that connect or am I totally off?

PS I think all the outfits and pieces that you've shown look amazing. I always look to your for inspiration!! You remember how much trouble you got me in!!

ironkurtin

Veteran

Check out all the fashion on Lost Girl. The ladies on that show are definitely hourglasses, even tiny little Kenzie.

kkards

Veteran

janet- i hear you. ever since i realized that i was destined to by 5'4ish, and not 5'10, my dream of looking graceful and willowy has been muted. but, i think that you can pull off sophisticated rock and roll, remember, rock and roll is all about the attitude and bending the rules.
what about adding some color to your hair? maybe some blue, purple or red? easy change, and imo definitely edgy and not corporate
i think you can also get an edgier look by mixing up colors, textures, fabrics and using layers. i'm thinking about angle's post from early dec about throwing together casual layers. i think her pinterset board has a lot of outfits that could serve as inspiration.

Sarah A

Veteran

Hmmm... I am in a bit of this quandry, having just now started to really feel my style moving more avant garde but living in a dominant summer climate. I am currently looking at tops with interesting asymmetrical necklines and draped and/or structured asymmetrical details as a way to add edge without resorting to boots or jackets (which are too hot a good bit of the year)

Gaylene

Veteran

While I think labels are helpful and fashion lingo is fun, I am starting to think the words might also create barriers in our thinking. While figure flattery and style monikers might influence some of my choices, could it be more important to just follow my own, more instinctive, feelings about what I like to wear on my body?

I guess what I'm trying to say, Janet, is you already have a very distinctive style that I can't necessarily pigeonhole into a label without feeling I'm wildly distorting it. Wearing a cashmere hoodie with a pair bootcuts and your turquoise cowboy boots on your hourglass shape leads to--I don't know--sensuous, eclectic cowgirl? Then you toss on a leather jacket which makes me want to throw in words like "tough" and "biker"...but then you wear your hair down and loose which negates some of the toughness with a touch of sweetness? See, the whole thing becomes too cumbersome to try to label, but it is essentially a very unique, very Janet look. Worrying about whether or not to add studs or purple streaks in your hair to provide an "edge" seems rather beside the point.

I'm beginning to wonder if it's not our self-imposed labels and rules which contribute to our feelings of boredom. Fashion monikers and labels work only as long as they keep our imagination is flowing; once that stops, they ought to be tossed aside.

My suggestion is to choose and wear what strongly appeals to you and your fashion vibe will be in good hands. You'll never disappear into the woodwork unless you deliberately choose to do so. But more importantly, it will be a totally right, totally Janet look, that others might try to emulate but could never replicate.

Mo

(website)

Veteran

Well, I want to be you when I grow up, so I think your edge is awesome! As for going simpler, that can still be edgy. As you say, footwear and toppers can do that. I don't think an hourglass is necessarily less edgy. I'm one - although I'm verging on rectangle these days with my midriff, but I digress. I do run into what you're talking about in the hot temps here in FL. Edgy style is just harder in summer wear. I also rely on shoes - metallics in my sandals - and cuff bracelets to 'up' the edge.
There could be something to the hairstyle idea . . . .

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Thanks, all! It's reassuring to know I'm not the only one feeling a little confounded by this.

Gryffin, thank you! You are not off-base at all. I tried that one Kamalikulture dress (the ruched side one from Nordstrom) and it was too bodycon for what I want right now -- I have a couple of bodycon dresses and I truly have to be in the right mood to wear them. The theory, however, is pretty much what I do in the summer. Simple dress, cool sandals, statement necklace or cuff. I have a great jewelry collection (in fact it needs to be thinned out, or maybe just put some pieces in a holding zone box), and also a nice scarf collection for cooler months. I guess I'm looking for ways to not rely so much on accessorization for edge.

IK, I've never seen LG, but I did a little image search. They're definitely rocker, but of course they're all half my age. Some great pieces, but it's skewing a bit more to where I was a few years ago in terms of more overt rock'n'roll detail. However, I do love the jacket pictured below -- I would rock that look right there.

Kkards, I do continually mess around with my hair color and cut, and some experiments resonate more with me than others. I really liked the red streaks I had a while back, but it's a lot of maintenance and wear and tear on my hair, which is thinning a bit. Red fades to a brassy color really quickly on me, and I'd love to do blue streaks, but it requires bleaching first. Right now I have a more subtle ombre thing going on with the ends, which fades and grows out a bit more subtly than some other things I've tried. Still, I am always up for shaking things up in the hair department, so thanks for the reminder! I've actually been thinking about another keratin straightening treatment -- I know, I know, after I'd just been wearing my hair wavy again. I told you, I'm second guessing everything these days!

I'm also thinking about updating my eyeglasses, and I wish Angie could be with me for that. I have such a hard time with glasses that I put off shopping for new ones.

Sarah, I totally relate on the summer dressing dilemma. Definitely my hardest season to feel truly ME in clothes that are comfortable for the weather.

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ironkurtin

Veteran

Janet, Lost Girl is more inspiration than a how-to. I love looking at all the details but could not possibly wear any of those things!

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Ah, Gaylene and Mo, we crossposted.

Mo, I knew you'd understand. The warm-weather thing is really challenging. But if I had your legs I'd rock shorts every day! Sadly, I'm always trying to cover mine up in the summer while staying cool.

Gaylene, your response made me smile. Lately when I've posted a few things that were rather thrown-on and didn't require much thought, Angie has commented that those looks were a great indicator of where my style is evolving. I do believe I have decent instincts, and I know my taste. My wardrobe is pretty cohesive, really. So I need to trust my instincts and maybe follow the flow I'm establishing.

I'm feeling better already.

Gaylene

Veteran

*laughing*

No wonder I have such confidence in your instinctive fashion sense, Janet. That jacket is a dead-ringer for the turquoise Danier leather jacket I picked up last spring! Although I'm much older than that blonde model, that jacket still rocks my world.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I won't lie. I googled that jacket -- it is Danier -- and tried to find out if it was still available. Alas, it is not, at least not in my size. But a teal or turquoise jacket really should be in my future at some point.

http://www.danier.com/leather-.....P6207.aspx

Carla

Veteran

Even before you posted this thread I had compared your style (in my head) to a favourite rocker/model who is more my age (50's) but who might serve. She even looks a little like a blonde version of you!

Patty Hansen has a curvier sporty American girl next door body, along with a rocker/model lifestyle and definitely an interest in fashion. She has edge to her style, but notice, not a lot of embellishment. Maybe a little leaning to some classic elements (white button down worn collar popped sleeves rolled crisp but loose*). Also leather jackets, fur vests, a lot of black.

*NOT referring to DH Keith in pic 1 but other images googled! LOL!

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Mo

(website)

Veteran

Carla brings up an interesting thing - role models. I seem to be really drawn to Chelsea Handler's style on her late night show. I find it kind of edgy, but not at all over embellished. More clean, simple lines like you are alluding to.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Runcarla, I've always thought she was beautiful, but never really looked at her style much before. Thank you for the very kind comparison, but also for the inspiration. I do connect with a lot of what you describe -- I like that juxtaposition of crispness and ease that I see in her style, and I am definitely drawn to combining classic elements with unexpected styling. Great ideas here.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Words, we can ALWAYS change. That's the beauty of style flexibility. They are there for fun (and focus) - but mostly for fun. Never let them boss you around. Onto the next leg of your style journey, sweet Janet. It's going to be more killer than ever. I can already see that coming through, despite your funk.

FWIW, I think you're selling yourself sort. I see a lass who looks even better each time she posts an outfit. In my professional opinion, you already have lots of Edge and stand out, in a chic rock 'n roll way. You're a lucky gal with an enviable style.

I've noticed that you have a heightened sensitivity about the size of your lower body. And we all have our insecurities so I don't want to minimize your feelings. I do want to reiterate that what we see and what you see is totally different. I see a figure that can wear anything. Create your own standard of fit and proportion - and do not use another body type as a bench mark of how an outfit should look. You have the power to do this, Janet. We can hold your hand through your unsure moments. Rock on. xo

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Angie, your post almost brought tears to my eyes. I'm laughing at myself now. Sometimes we get so caught up in "if onlys" that we overlook the great things about where we already are in life. I think hubs turning 50 and realizing I am not far behind has given me a little shakeup lately. It's easy to fear that we're not where we should be, that we are somehow "behind" and need to catch up. But there is no race, no goalpost. Thanks for reminding me to enjoy where I am and keep riding the ride.

ironkurtin

Veteran

http://www.ebay.com/itm/MODERN.....-Womens-ME

Anonymous

What Angie said. You already are there I think. I'd suggest more basics like jeans, skirt and toppers in leather or coated denim that looks like leather. Leather pants and pencil skirts can take on many looks from classic to Western, to boho and feel like they add edge. It doesn't have to be black. Colored leather may look even more edgy because it can be unexpected.
You will have fun finding what works for you, whatever you choose.

Gracie

Veteran

I could have written the first paragraph in your post, I'm in the exact same place. And I also relate to "I do a bit of waist surrender but am not emotionally comfortable sacrificing a lot of figure flattery for edge."

I've always thought your outfits always edge, and you consistently look beautifully put together. And I'm always drooling at your jackets and boots! Hopefully when you go back to your normal healthy routine you'll feel more motivated to play and experiment with other ways to add more or change your edge without adding embellishments. I'm looking forward to learning more from your style - you are an inspiration.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

I meant every sincere word. You know that.

Love how you've bounced back already, Janet. THAT's the spirit. I meant to add that by creating your own standard of fit and proportion wrt edge - you will look better in that outfit than any other model, blogger, or the like. That's because you are Janet - who has that special something that no one can take away from you. Hold your head up high and celebrate your fabness. xo

Suz

(website)

Veteran

LOVE what Angie wrote. She is so right.

You're beautiful and unique and you already have amazing style, Janet. Which will only become more amazing in time.

lyn67

Veteran

Yes, Angie is so right! Mee too thinks, You're already there but if you really want you can always tweak a bit for not getting bored!

Caro in Oz

Veteran

You have wonderful instincts & a fabulous style Janet

Seconding Angie & hearing you on funks IMO a funk or discontent always precedes a slightly new (& dare I say) more refined direction.

Deborah

Veteran

Janet, echo g what everyone else has said:). I'm going to repeat Angie's words "Create your own standard of fit and proportion - and do not use another body type as a bench mark of how an outfit should look".... I think this is so important. Janet I am a 5ft 1, hourglass / apple and in most instances I refuse to dress like one lol. I think it just takes playing with proportions etc. I think your style is awesome. And very uniquely you. xxx

Lantana

Veteran

Wonderful question to ask Janet. I am looking forward to settling back with a cuppa when I can steal a spare moment and devouring every response. I love it when the forum posts these kinds of questions. They make a major contribution to my style lexicon. Penny

Louise

Veteran

I don't think body shape defines whether you can be edgy or not. I'm a pear too and Angie used to describe me as edgy, I'm probably not now as I'm in my own funk right now. I'm not sure why or how I was edgy hmmm not sure where I'm going with this.... X

annagybe

(website)

Veteran

Late, but I think your style is working pretty well right now.
We have have body hang ups. I have a pretty squishy stomach, but frankly I've stopped worrying about it as much. For me to get rid of it would require serious dieting and major gym time. I have neither the time nor the inclination.
I think you have a great figure. Just try and maybe focus on all the things it can do, rather than what it can't.

Mo

(website)

Veteran

Agreed, Anna! I'd rather be happy and healthy, if not fitness model material, and live a pretty normal life. (I have a middle school friend who is a fitness model, and she sweats like it's her job, because it is. No thanks)
Rock your style!

Karie

(website)

Veteran

Wha-huh?? "My body seems to defy edgy silhouettes" - sweetheart, here on YLF, you define edgy silhouettes! It can be an entire outfit or just a detail, that's what you get to decide. And you do it very well. The outfits you've posted that I've seen are very flattering to your figure. Our figures are what they are - I'm a pear too - but body shape doesn't define us, we define ourselves! You've heard of the "My Three Words" thing? Well, I'm a roller coaster junkie and my three words are Enjoy the Ride. I apply it to life, and I apply it to fashion - have fun, and enjoy the ride!

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