Can we have an honest talk about tattoos? - YouLookFab Forum

Category

Off Topic

Can we have an honest talk about tattoos?

RoseandJoan

Veteran

Many of you will know, it is not a secret; I like tattoos, I have tattoos and I'm married to someone who both has and appreciates tattoos on others. I am not naive enough to think that everyone feels the same way, I know some people find tattoos repulsive, short sighted or trivial. In my experience you either like tattoos or you don't but curiously I have also come across people who are tattooed who strongly dislike tattoos on others.

So what is the point in posting this thread?

I am considering getting another (quite large) tattoo on the top of my arm and from discussing this with friends, including those with tattoos, I am finding most think it is a bad idea, a step too far. like crossing the line from being a women with tattoos to a tattooed lady. The concerns raised range from what to wear to a formal occasion to how this part of the body ages and whilst I value my friends opinions I am finding I just don't share their concerns.

Therefore I am throwing this out there, feel free to say how you truly feel. Do you like tattoos, do you find them attractive or alternatively unfeminine and do you feel differently about tattoos on certain body parts?

I know this could be opening a can of worms but I trust this community to handle this hot topic with care.

Thank you, Jules.

Off Topic

45 replies

Latest reply was from Adelfa

Irene

Veteran

Hello!

While I like some tatoos on others (by this I mean the actual drawing and maybe it's meaning, if any), I would be very reticent to have one on myself for one main reason: I change my mind a lot and would probably not like my tatoo after just a year (maybe before that). I believe in change and in that a hippie person in the 60s might have become a traditional conservative person in the 80s, so how do you know you will always have those beliefs?

I do think that if I ever got a tatoo, it would be placed somewhere where only people close to me could see it (or people who shouldn't care, like the beach). This may very depending on your work attire, but I think it's smart to think you might be changing job positions/careers throughout time.

As for flabby body parts, it is somewhat true as well. But, then again, I know some people who live life in a 'now or never' sense and I get it. When one of my besties got a beautiful tatoo on her young, toned and slim back, I told her 'what will happen when it wrinkles?'. And she answered wisely: 'what if I never even get to that age?'. You really never know, so my point is: get a tatoo if you want to, it is your body, after all!

cciele

Veteran

I like tattoos on everyone, but only if they are executed well. I have been planning a tattoo forever, and even at my advanced age (heh) would like to get one that goes across my back and wraps around my upper arm.

Then again, with some groups of my friends one is in the minority if one does NOT have a tattoo. So I'm definitely used to seeing them and they are nothing out of the ordinary to me, I guess.

My only concern with a large piece is that it's a definite commitment, so be sure what you get is what you can live with!

rachylou

Veteran

I like tattoos. I think about what tattoo I'd get if I got one. But contrarily, I don't find them attractive. I find they make a person always look a little bit unclean, especially as the tattoos get older. When a person has a lot of them, I find tattoos obscure their features and I want to be around people not afraid to stand in the light of day. They are also mostly prohibited by my religion, and I think maybe also by my doctor.

Still, I'm an artisan baker. Or I would be if only I had a tat. I'm working on my design... lol.

ClaraT

Veteran

I disagree that people mainly either do or don't like tattoos. Like Irene and cciele, I like some tattoos, I don't like others, just as I like some clothing/jewelry/hair styles and dislike others. Sometimes I like/dislike tattoos based on what I see (design, overall appearance of person), while other times knowing the story/symbolism influences my opinion.

Tattoos are very personal and yet also can be public (depending on placement). Something like 40% (almost half!) of people aged 25-40 have at least one tattoo, so it is very common to have them. Ultimately, your opinion is the only one that matters.

If you have doubts, I wonder if you could get an artist's rendition (using a sharpie marker, say, or henna) to see how the design looks before it is permanently etched on you? Or are you confident in your design/placement but worried only about the reaction?

Kristin L

Veteran

I like them and like them on others. I will fully admit I'm a bit of snob and I've seen some pretty raunchy ones that I'm not a fan of.

I have 3 that make a nice diagonal line across my back. I have an ankh on my right hip, the numbers 711 (the dorm room I met all of my friends in college in - several of us have this tattoo) a few inches up from the small of my back, and a Scottish crest on my left shoulder. I have a few ideas for more, but at this point $$$ and where to put it is holding me back. I love mine dearly because while I may not see my college friends very often anymore, it serves as a reminder of my college days.

I have received some flack for it. I was at a conference back when I only had one and stupidly admitted that I did (it was the one on hip). I was wearing a suit and it couldn't be seen. Still, a prof. chewed me up one side and down another about it. Which was funny because about 30 min beforehand he was trying to get me to go to grad school to his school. I also keep my tattoos hidden from my grandparents because I know they would disapprove.

So, to answer your question, I don't see tattoos as unfeminine themselves. It's all in what it is and how it's done. I personally wouldn't tattoo anything that could be seen in a professional environment. I may eat those words, though, when I go to my conference next week and go to the pool.

RoseandJoan

Veteran

My apologies Clara, I think my wording may have been too strong. I do think there are people who are open to seeing tattoos on others and those who are closed, being open does not necessarily mean you have or wish for a tattoo though.

I presently have eight significant tattoos which represent the passing of my Nan, my pregnancies, the birth of my children. I do feel this next tattoo could be tipping point from being someone who likes tattoos to being a collector of tattoos. To Rachy's point being someone for whom you may see the tattoos before the person.

Irene, so far my taste in tattoos has remained consistent for the past 18 years but who knows how I will feel in the future. I like the idea of my tattoos being an abstract record of my life.

Kristen, are your family Scottish? I love how your 711 tattoo has captured happy moment much like a polaroid.

Cciele, you are an artistic spirit wrapped in urban warrior clothes and your tattoo would have to capture this. I can understand why the design remains elusive.

Mo

(website)

Veteran

I skipped all responses to answer. Just last week some friends (mostly male) and I were discussing tattoos. None of us 4 has them, and we are in the minority, to say the least. Almost everyone I know has at least one, most several, and I may be the only server at my pub who does not. All the other girls do.
Our thoughts were that it's almost cliche at this point, and more unique to not be adorned by them. Mostly, none of us could think of an image that was so meaningful to us that we'd want it permanently on our bodies. Also, the subject came up that we think think is totally cool at 25 may not fit us or our lifestyles 20 years from then. (for the record, we are 41, 43, 53 and late 30's having this talk).
Lastly, several of the lady coworkers who have them do regret some of them. If I make a fashion choice I regret, I can change. If I put it on my body, I"m stuck with it.
It's not for me.

Astrid

Veteran

I can't say I like or dislike them in general, it always depends on the person, what kind of tattoo it is or where it is placed. I have female friends with tattoos and I like some designs more than others. But I have to say that I would probably not find them less attractive if they had none. To me they look attractive despite the tattoos, not because of them.

I wouldn't get one myself. I don't think I could commit to one design and I'm often changing my mind about certain things, like Irene. Another thing I'm hesitant about is that the colors that are used aren't liable to strict regulations in Germany. There's no way to truly control what exactly is in the colors they use and there's been some surveys that found a lot of them contained harmful substances, some even known carcinogenic ones. This is somewhat part of the field of activity my mum works in, consumer protection at the departement of state - and she always told me to not do it unless there are some changes to the regulations.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I like them, but it's a qualified like. I like tattoos when they are meaningful, unique, well-designed, and well-executed. I prefer them to be beautiful, or at least striking or attractive. Which means I am very picky about them, even though I doubt I'll ever get one. It's just never been something I wanted enough to do.

I dislike poorly made, poorly-planned, poorly-lettered, trite, commonplace tattoos. As an artist, I cringe when I see a bad tat. There are so many truly talented tattoo artists out there, it boggles my mind that the majority of tattoos I see are really not very good.

I respect that some people love them and want a bunch. I personally find them the most appealing when a person is not overwhelmed by them. There is a threshold (which is different on different individuals) where a person's main identifying factor becomes their tattoo(s), and in my mind, that's too much.

I don't think too much about what they'll look like when the person is old (heck, that skin is going to wrinkle whether its inked or not). I don't think they are "unfeminine" per se, but if they are visible in everyday clothing, combined with a woman's personal style, they can send strong messages. (I believe this is true of men and women) Therefore, I would always tread carefully, because unlike hair, clothing, makeup and accessories, they can't be changed easily.

I don't have any, personally. Never wanted one. Hubs has one, which I do like.

Echo

Veteran

The opinions of other people in general aren't really relevant - or shouldn't be, anyway - when it comes to tattoos. Indeed, if you already have 8, I am not sure where one draws the arbitrary line between having tattoos and "collecting" them. What one person views at "too much" another might view as very few.

However, I think it is important to realize that they are often inappropriate in a business setting. Even people with tattoos themselves will sometimes have a bias against applicants with visible ink. That, of course, doesn't make it right to judge someone on that basis, but it is a fact that it happens. If that matters to you (I am guessing it does not), I wouldn't have any that are visible, at least.

I do have a tattoo on my hip, but it was a spur of the moment decision as a young adult, and if I could go back I wouldn't get it again. And while this is a totally unacceptably sexist view, I do see them as more "socially acceptable" (whatever that means) on men than on women. That said, I have a lot of friends - men and women - who have them. I just like them better on men than on women (myself included). But what I think doesn't mean anything as far as a decision for someone else's life, nor would I ever presume to think it would.

Like I said, you have eight tattoos. If the one you are considering is beautiful and relevant to you, I cannot see where it would make a difference in how anyone else sees you, and I am not sure they are worth valuing as friends if it would.

Kim

Veteran

I like tattoos on other people (as Janet said, when they are well executed) but have never been able to work up the nerve to go ahead and get one on my own body.

I got a henna tattoo on my foot one time and after about a week couldn't wait to get that "permanent" thing off so I think I'd be a bad candidate for a tattoo! LOL

For the record both my dd's have them, and I've taken them to the shop to get them (and signed a consent) so I'm not opposed, just fickle!

And both my dd's say they are addicting. Perhaps that might be something to think about...

ironkurtin

Veteran

This is your body. Do with it what delights you.

It seems like all of your tattoos mark significant events. If they have spiritual resonance for you, then what other people say really does not matter. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a thoughtful tattoo.

I also think the top of the arm is a perfectly respectable place to get a tattoo. I have seen beautiful ones on hips, backs, shoulders, and wrists. Here in Austin, people tattoo ("get work") quite a bit. Places I personally would not consider are the neck, front of the chest, on the upper bosom, and a very large one on the inner lower arm. Of course, a very beautiful piece of work will change my mind on the right person! Unhappily, I have seldom seem really gorgeous pieces there.

The tattoos I like best show an integrated artistic vision, personally.

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

I love tattoos - I would be careful about the placement (I see a lot of young people with them on their face - oh dear! And on the throat) - which sort of preclude you from certain circles and put you at an employment disadvantage.

I think having a tattoo as a lady is okay - lots of the docs here have them, anyway, and some of them are not shy about displaying them. Likewise if they have unconventional piercings. One of my classmates even has a mohawk.

I personally think if I was to get one, I'd probably get something smaller, but I have seen very large ones on women that are beautiful as well. I would be less worried about aging - you can always get them touched up, and the tattoo artists usually can give you some tips about where to put them that are less likely to sag (apparently one of the best places is the small of your back, but unfortunately, that spot has "tramp stamp" connotations).

I think if you love it, go ahead and get it. Some friends of mine got henna versions of the ink they wanted to do first, just as a trial run. Maybe you could try that? And ask your friends if they change their minds?

Anonymous

I am neutral about tattoos. They are ubiquitous in my town. All the young moms in my YMCA's baby swim class have them. I do wonder if they will wind up looking dated. Will their kids eschew them? Who knows. Honestly, seeing an expanse of skin with no ink is starting to look refreshing to my eyes.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

I show my age -- or my fashion persona, perhaps -- when it comes to my feelings about tattoos. For I must admit that I hold a slight prejudice against them. I say "slight" mindfully. Because in fact, friends of mine have tattoos that I quite like. Some that have -- momentarily -- even tempted me! And I like my husband's hairdresser's tattoos - - and this guy is tattooed all over his body -- there is more ink than skin.

Somehow, it suits him. Looks right for him.

Still, on the whole, I prefer the sight of un-inked skin. And sometimes, I admit, when I see a woman with tattoos, I feel they look incongruous with her clothing. It does depend on individual style, of course. It's just that sometimes it is ALGO for my minimalist leanings.

Would tattoos prevent me from liking someone? NO! Would they prevent me from being interesting in knowing the person more? NO! Would they prevent me from hiring the person? NO! It's just an aesthetic thing. Of course, like Janet and others, I prefer really good ones, if someone has them. But that goes wtihout saying.

So I guess it depends on the person. And the tattoo. And in the end, I would say -- yours have significance to you, you love them, and you wear them well -- so why not get another if your heart desires it?

Thistle

Veteran

I second Suz.

Whether I should admit it or not, if a person (don't care male or female) interviewed for a position and I saw the tattoo, it would be a strike against them. I know, I know, but there are certain stereotypes that go with it, and in a first impression situation, it goes against you.

But I am a conservative accountant at a conservative company in the Midwest. So take it for what it is worth.

suzyq

Not for me as I'm to fickle. Meaning I'd tire of it like a mullet cut or a printed tee. My HH (50) is fully tatted, chest, back and sleeve and views them as a road map of his life which they actually are. Thankfully they are very well executed by a dear friend of his and flow together like the traditional old school Japanese style while the content is westernized. I find it interesting that he's so bold with them as he's such a conservative black and white kinda guy. I see everything in shades of gray and am much less critical.than he specially of others tats lol.

Diana

Veteran

I like some, and I don't like others. Just like hairstyles, or jewelry, or piercings, etc. basically it comes down to aesthetic preference. I think at this point tattoos are common enough that they don't automatically signify certain personality traits. (of course if you have gang symbols, or a swastika, or something, I'd probably walk away very fast in the opposite direction, but the vast majority of tattoos don't signify anything to me,). I do live in a city with a lot of young people and reasonable diversity though. I could see in smaller,more insular communities people might be more prejudiced.

As for whether it impacts professional decisions, I think it depends on your profession. I think in mine (academic science) it would be ok and would be just seen as typical academic eccentricity. Sure, there are some old white male profs who would probably look askance at you, but they'd probably also think you were unsuited for the job because you had two x chromosomes.

Personally, I do not have a tattoo and am unlikely to get one because I don't like the idea of doing permanent things to my body. (I don't even have pierced ears.). Also, I worry about changing my mind later. But I'm flaky. Also, my husband does not like them. He thinks they look trashy. But I think he just hasn't seen many good ones.

Eta: I think one of the most beautiful tattoos I've seen was on a woman who had a full chest piece done in an intricate floral design to cover up the scars from her chemo port for leukemia treatment. She said she didn't want to forget they were there because they reminded her that she had survived, but she wanted to turn them into something beautiful.

rebekahphoto

Veteran

I have always appreciated tattoos, and have 3 myself--(ankles and back) & sometimes I even forget they are there. I know many people with them, and in the creative field where I am it is almost more common to have one then have not. I have designed tattoos for friends, and always stress that it needs to be important to you, and that is the only thing that really matters!

I never worry about the aging-saging factor, as the rest of my body will age as well! I took my mom to get her first (and only) tattoo at age 50. She loves it, and the tattoo artist remarked how beautifully her skin took the ink--and that it was too bad that it might be her only one! And neither my father, nor my husband have any desire to have their own tattoos.

Ironically I just spoke today with a friend about hers, she has serious full color sleeves and leg work, but even though she would like to do her chest area, she will not as she feels it would be detrimental to her work, (unable to cover)

I do think a tattoo has power: to mark an event, to reinforce a belief and often to make one feel strong to face the world--like modern war paint.

Sara L.

Veteran

I have nothing against tattoos and quite a few of my friends have them, but I don't have any. I've never been able to think of an image I wanted forever or a place to put it. I work in a conservative industry and wouldn't want it seen during work hours. However, I want to see my tattoo - I don't want a tattoo anyplace I can't see it like my back.

I don't agree with the aging argument for the same reason that Irene states - you might never get a chance to find out. Tattoos are so personal that I refrain from commenting on people's choice to get one or not.

Mochi

Veteran

I would say Janet holds the opinion that is closest to mine. You know I'm not a huge fan of tattoos. I see some small, well-designed and excuted ones here and there that are kind of cute. I'm a bit inured to the huge, full-body ones because I happen to live in a hipster-y neighborhood where it seems everybody has full-body ink. So I'm used to it, but that's probably also influenced my dislike of them. I feel they're somewhat in your face. On the other hand, they are what they are and people are of course free to do what they want, with the understanding that tattoos will lead some people to categorizing you.

I also do find it interesting that we're on a fashion site where we get to talking about visuals and trends and presenting a public persona. So it's funny to me to think of a tattoo--if one gets periodically tired of their look (hair, clothes, etc.), you'd think they'd also get sick of their tattoo as well.

cloud9

Veteran

To me, it's more about whether the person is wearing the tattoo, or the tattoo is wearing the person. I don't like any tattoo that's sorta in-your-face and overwhelming. Nowadays, a tattoo is more like an accessory (albeit permanent), how tastefully, artistically done, how it fits the overall persona. I personally don't want to have to deal with the hassle of having to cover it up for particular occasions.

deb

Veteran

I have a morphing tattoo and my kids do not understand. I got my first tattoo, a rose bud, by my left hip bone when I was 30. It peeked out from my bikini at the time. When I was 40, I went to the same artist and he made my rose bud in to a partially opened rose. When I was 50, my partially opened rose became a full on opened rose in all of its glory. In January I will turn 60 and my artists' daughter now runs the shop, but Tom says he will come in a continue with my morphing rose. I was thing of adding a rose hip and a few petals falling. My kids think I am sick, lol.

MsMary

Veteran

Deb, I love the idea of your morphing rose!!

That said, I am not a huge tattoo lover. I always feel like the big ones on shoulders and arms and legs tend to fight with one's clothing, which is not a look I personally find appealing.

I can't imagine ever getting one because I can't imagine any image that would remain meaningful to me throughout my life (but see "Deb, I love the idea of your morphing rose!", above).

But... I think one should do what makes one feel happy and beautiful, and if that's tattoos for you, then you should rock your tattoos!

catgirl

Veteran

I am a fan of the right tattoo. Love some of the Hawaiian styles like the ones that circle the bicep. I was actually planning to drag a friend to get a tattoo with me for her 40th, because I aspire to be a bad-a$$. Maybe on my shoulder blade or somewhere discreet. Was thinking of something creative combining India, Alaska and Hawai'i, to be designed by my sister.

CocoLion

(website)

Veteran

This is an interesting topic, as was Sal's piece on being tatooed on Already Pretty. (It was in last week's link love.) I have the opposite feeling from you Mochi. I don't really care for the small tattoos, I prefer the big, full body types. To me, it's either commit to this fully or don't. When you commit to it fully you are truly making a lasting style statement! There is something bold and fierce about it. I know it still has very negative connotations in Japan due to the Yakuza practice of full body tattoos but I really think when the Yakuza committed to them, they would try and get great work done. At great expense as well.

I will add that I don't see that many full body tattoos so perhaps if I saw it endlessly among hipsters I too would tire of the look.

I have a negative impression of cutesy tattoos, I know that sounds judgmental, but I see a lot of them where I live. Badly drawn butterflies on the ankle, etc. Sorry if I offend anyone by saying that.

Oh and I have none, couldn't go through with it. I guess I don't want to draw that much attention to my freckled skin.

Runcarla

Veteran

Though I have seen a few attractive tats on men and women, for the most part, I am not a fan. They are very commonplace where I live, but unfortunately there are way more poorly executed ones, then truly beautiful ones, and maybe this has biased me somewhat.

On women, my preference is for tats on the side of the torso such as the rib cage, or waist. Shoulders ( sleeves?) and calves for men. Never the face, neck, or chest. No sound reason, just a personal opinion.

I am a great admirer of cosmetic tattoos for restorative reasons and situations such as that described by Diana.

My own body is already marked by life's events. I am freckled and scarred, wrinkled and stretched. I do have an accidental tattoo on the bottom of my foot. My Mom (an artist) was doing pen and ink drawings, and one of her pens had fallen on the floor. Barefoot, I stepped on the pen and the nib embedded in my foot and discharged ink. That was when I was 8 and I still have the tat!

DH and son's do not have any tattoos or other body mods. DH and eldest son are fearfully afraid of needles, and youngest soon is a hairy yeti so there is no point!

You have to be true to yourself. If you love your current body art, and really desire more, you will probably like any new work as well. From the tone of your posts, it sounds like you have already made up your mind.

Hil

(website)

Veteran

I like tattoos in general terms and have been toying with the idea of getting one for the last few years. I have an idea for the design, I know the location on my body and I know the artist I want to use. The only thing holding me back really is the fact that my husband really doesn't like tats and he is dead against them. But he is used to my piercings so I guess he would get used to a tattoo too!

Upper arms are tricky though - I have a friend with a half sleeve tattoo and it's beautiful and suits her and the meaning behind it is special, but I have seen other women on which an upper arm tattoo just looks dodgy and tacky.

Please post pics when you decide!!!

RoseandJoan

Veteran

I need to run now but wished to thank you for your wide and varied responses. It helps to hear a wide range of perspectives when contemplating something permanent and prominent. This tattoo feels different to the others because it will be the first on my upper body and the first representing ongoing troubles.

I promise to be back later to respond to your comments properly.

12