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Buying jewellery for yourself

anne

Veteran

Have any of you got the same mental barrier that I do about buying jewellery for yourself, as opposed to getting it as a gift? I do love to get (costume) jewellery as a present, but understandably, don't always get what I actually like. Sometimes though, the gift, though not one I'd choose myself, actually expands my range and ends up being a favourite.

Have any of you had this reservation and got over it?

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16 replies

Latest reply was from anne

Steph

Veteran

I love buying myself jewelry! As a woman, I always feel empowered when I do so. There have been many times when I go into a jewelry store looking at something and the salesperson will say "are you making a list of what you like so your boyfriend can buy it for you?" And every time I respond "no, I don't need anyone to buy me jewelry for me--I can do it myself!" I bet if you go in with the attitude that you are strong and empowered, you will love purchasing for yourself. And honestly, I think it makes so much more sense. Fine jewelry is expensive and the best way to know you're getting what you want is to buy it for yourself.

Ana

(website)

Veteran

I don't buy much fine jewelry. I do buy good quality costume jewelry, though. I prefer to buy it for myself, because then I know I like it and will wear it. If someone gets it for me as a gift, I always feel guilty if it's not really me, and I end up never wearing it. You should go for it! I like J. Crew and Kenneth Jay Lane for costume jewelry. You can buy those online if you don't feel comfortable going into a store and shopping for yourself.

Amanda

Anne - I wouldn't have jewelry if I didn't buy it for myself! But I really only buy costume jewelry or from local jewelry designers. I do have a number of necklaces that my parents gave me when I was in high school and college and a few "real" jewelry pieces that my mom passed on to me. I think that there are certain pieces of jewelry that are nice to get as a gift for sentimental reasons (diamond earrings maybe) but I think of jewelry as a part of outfits and look for pieces that I can accessorize across my wardrobe.

Anonymous

I do have a problem allowing myself to buy jewelry. I secretly wish my family would buy it for me as gifts but they don't think along those lines. My husband and I have been married for 5 years so he is still in training in that department. Last Christmas I just about fell off my chair when I opened a box with a diamond necklace in it.
However I do covet the nice costume jewelry and often browse over it but don't buy because I can't justify spending so much, even though I don't think twice about a pair of shoes.

Anonymous

I don't mean to hijack your thread, Anne, but I have a quick question for the J.Crew expert, Ana. Does J.Crew's jewelry ever go on sale? I've been keeping my eye on this necklace:
http://www.jcrew.com/AST/Brows...../96997.jsp
It's absolutely beautiful and so my style, but it's out of my price range. Should I hold off in hopes that it will go on sale?

Alecia

Veteran

That's a good question, Anne. When I was single, I bought some fine jewelry myself. I loved being able to do it. It was a great investment. I haven't done so much since I got married because my husband often gets me stuff. It's not always fine jewelry, though sometimes it is. But he (like me) loves to get vintage or antique stuff so sometimes that's what I get. (He's a great husband.)

But I would still be willing to consider saving up for a piece that I really wanted.

The costume stuff isn't really much of an issue. I like to get it for myself.

Anonymous

I buy most of my own jewelry in a way because I usually buy the beads or pearls and make it myself. I think of jewelry as an accessory like scarves or shoes and buy it to compliment outfits.
My husband also buys me jewelry, but the necklaces are usually too dainty. I usually wear a piece he's given me under my top or with other bigger pieces, layering necklaces or bracelets. His white gold crucifix looks great at the throat with turquoise and silver beads or black pearls just below. A gold Chinese coin on a gold chain from DH hangs below a shorter string of chunky coral, etc.

Alecia

Veteran

Joy, your necklace layering sounds very cool. I hope you'll show us an example sometime.

anne

Veteran

Interesting replies. Looks like there might be others who feel the same as me, as well as lots who don't.
I am only really interested in costume jewellery, and should be able to get over spending, say $24 on a necklace, when I would spend that on a shirt. I like big beads that go right round the neck. By husband often gets me small pendants - similar to Joy's DH-too dainty
My children, and my own rough treatment, mean that my necklaces regularly break within a year, although I have higher hopes from 2 recently given to me that have magnetic clasps. Also I am hoping to have a friend help me mend the pile of broken ones.
I feel like jewellery is such a convenient gift. I pierced my ears only last year, and to be able to suggest "earrings" if anyone wants a gift suggestion is easy for me - and pretty easy for them. I have been pretty pleased with the earrings too - necklaces are harder. DH gave me some after my first 2 daughters were born, but not after the third, possibly turned off by my lukewarm reaction to his choices. He gave me one for our anniverary in dec that got so easily tangled neither of us could untangle it - I never even wore it.
But I hasten to say, that he did turn up at the hospital with piles of no longer forbidden food (soft cheeses, vanilla slice etc) which I did appreciate greatly!

Anonymous

One of these days I'll get around to experimenting to learn to take, transfer to computer, and post photos. Just experiment with your necklaces. Sometimes I make separate necklaces that I can layer together or wear separately. My layering comes from a need to fill in necklines to detract from an aging neck (a la Barbara Bush's pearls) and no cleavage.

Anne, for those chains that break and tangle, you might consider buying yourself a better chain. Try to find one with an end small enough that you can slip on different pendants if possible. I found 16inch chains worked best for me. They are high enough not to catch on things. The longer the chain, the more substantial it needs to be. I also frequently use 18-22" chains that look like a silver cord. DH hasn't even noticed that his pendants are on different chains. He's just happy to see me wearing his gift. (If all else fails, wear it to bed ;o)

Anonymous

Last year when I was selling the jewelry I made, this conversation came up all the time. I make sterling silver and gemstone jewelry and I was pricing the necklaces starting at $50. So many women were reluctant to spend that kind of money on themselves. They didn't want to buy the "cheap" stuff since it wasn't "real" but they didn't want to buy the nice stuff because it seemed odd to buy jewelry for themselves. And very few were 100% happy with what they received as gifts. Joy's idea of layering and re-making "real" pieces so they suit your style is one that I really encouraged with my customers and re-styling became a huge part of my business. I think that jewelry has an emotional component to it, in addition to the style/fashion factor.

Maya

Veteran

Wow, I don't think this thought has ever occurred to me. I put value into jewelry the same way I do with all my other clothes and accessories, but I don't really value jewelry in a sentimental/emotional way (though I am not a very sentimental or emotional person, so that's probably why).

shiny

Veteran

Without reading what others said, my immediate reaction was:

"Go out and invest in gold jewelry. The chunkier the better.... we are in an economic downturn, afterall... it could come in handy!"

I do have similar mental barriers myself. No qualms buying costume pieces. Although, I must admit, I bought my own wedding band ... I wanted something in my own personal taste. DH picked out the engagement ring, I picked out the band to go with it as a set. He bought his wedding ring on ebay - because he's frugal (but he never takes it off).

When we saw that $10K pearl necklace in Paris, my mind went like this:

"Well, I'm worth it. Except, it's one semester of college tuition for my kids. Or, I probably should spend the money on new bedroom furniture instead. Hmmm. But it is Paris and it is one of a kind. Hmmm. BUT.... if I did make this purchase.... when I die, my girls are going to get in a horrible squabble over who gets to inherit it.... and end up never talking to each other.... so I better just say no."

shiny

Veteran

Read the thread - you're talking more about costume jewelry? Just do it, you ARE worth it.

I have gotten into the habit of buying one piece of costume jewelry every time I buy an outfit. Ideally, to coordinate with what I bought - but not always. This has helped me rapidly build up a collection.

I also hit discount stores (here we have filene's basement, which has great deals on jewelry). And there's a boutique that sells designer knock-off pieces for a song.

We also attend a lot of art openings and art events, so I check out the jewelry stands and if something catches my fancy, I buy it. I love the one-of-a-kind artisan stuff nobody else has.

mirah

First of all..Shiny.. can i please be a fly on the wall ..in your mind ...for one day? pretty please!

For the question..even though I have never bought fine jewellery for myself..I never like whats been gifted to me. My mom is like what some of you have mentioned..emotionally attached to jewellery gifts and expects me to be the same. I dont care for those nor do I wear fine jewellery except for weddings and such. Though investing in gold in current times is a wise idea. Except gold prices are currently through the roof..

As for costume stuff..I think of those as accessories and always buy them for myself since.. again..only because I rarely like something that has been gifted.

anne

Veteran

Shiny - yes I was talking about costume jewellery.