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Buy new clothes now or later?

Maya

Veteran

So I have concluded that clothes aren't going to satisfy me until I'm satisfied with what's underneath them.

Losing weight is definitely not my goal, as I am currently at the lowest possible healthy weight for my height. I am, however, very squishy and weak from doing almost nothing for months after starting school again. Now that it's summer, I can't think of a better time to start being healthy again.

I always hear that you should dress your body as it is, etc. But I don't have an unlimited budget where I can just keep buying new clothes, and I'm not planning on a drastic change. I would just like to fit into the clothes I have without spilling out and being vacuum sealed in certain areas. What makes more sense? I think since I'm not planning to drop a size I may as well just get everything now. Ha, I love it when I answer my own question over the course of writing it out. I will post it anyway just in case anyone else has something to add.

General

16 replies

Latest reply was from Sarah

Nicole

Veteran

I will add... (not that should come as a shock to anyone who knows me!)

Even if you did start exercising to tone your body, your overall size might not change that much. You will just look and feel firmer. If you are afraid of adding bulk with muscle, then try yoga and/or pilates. I've been actively exercising for the last 6 years. I keep a gym membership, but find myself walking outdoors more than hitting the gym. (esp. now with the nice weather here). Since I do have weight to lose (10 more pounds will bring into my ideal target weight), I need to do cardio.

So, with that said, I don't think you should wait to buy new clothes. Whether your size changes or not, you will be shopping for new clothes as styles and taste change. Not to mention the fact that you're body is going to change whether you exercise or not, and your job status is going to change (hence your attire needs will change). There will always be the need to add clothes to your wardrobe in the future. It's like vacuuming. Why bother vacuuming today when it's just going to get dirty again tomorrow? Because who wants to live in a house with dirt all the floors!

Maya

Veteran

I used to do yoga until classes started in the fall. I was just too exhausted after the commute, and I'm definitely not a morning person, so waking up at 5:30 every morning didn't help.

I actually just spent a couple of hours looking through poses on yogajournal.com to refresh my memory. I have no concerns about my size and weight, but I definitely look like I weigh at least 15-20 pounds more than I really do because my body has turned to mush, and clothes just don't fit well no matter what size you are when you're a puddle of mush. They push your fat around where you don't want it to be, they vacuum seal certain areas, etc. It's not like my clothes are so tight I need to go up a size, but they definitely would fit better if they had a more solid foundation!

Hitting the gym is not for me. I do not like "working out" and especially in public. Somehow most exercises leave me feeling like my body is stimulated but my brain is numb. For some reason yoga seems to take care of both. I used to resist any kind of exercise for a long time because it didn't make me feel good. There's a focus on causing a certain amount of pain...the more pain, the more the workout is working. Yoga really defies all that. It's kind of like an intellectual exercise to me.

shiny

Veteran

Maya, I've been an on-and-off-again exerciser for years, including a period of time where I was in the gym lifting weights (heavy ones!! with the boys, in the free weight room!) 5x's a week while also running nearly every day. More recently, I haven't touched a weight in awhile, but do yoga and run or walk. (The reason for the on-off again is not just life getting in the way... but back problems that would flatline me for months).

Anyway, my weight and fitness level has gone up and down over the years, but one thing I can tell you for sure: no matter what I weigh, no matter how many weights I lift or miles I run or how much yoga I do, no matter what size I happen to be, I tend to have the exact same basic fit issues with clothes.

Sure, when I'm active, I stand taller and my posture is better and I have less jiggle, so that does help. But, clothes (off-the-rack clothes) still are always a tad too tight in the waist, too loose in the hips, etc.

I know they say you can transform your body shape through weight training, and to a certain extent, you can .... but only so far. The same basic body shape is still there: I was still an hourglass back then - with just slightly tad tinier waist.

This is not meant to discourage you! On the contrary, it's to encourage you to go ahead and dress the body you have now, learn to find the styles and brands that flatter you the best and don't make you feel like you're spilling or constricted. It's a good skill to learn *even if* you gain or lose weight, because you may find, like me, you still have basically the same exact figure, just on a smaller or larger scale, and if you have less jiggle here and there, you still find that the same styles are your best anyway.

shiny

Veteran

oh...

And if you get frustrated when you shop, always remember to blame the CLOTHES, not your body!!!

Remember that off-the-rack clothing is based on the law of averages... which means many (if not most) people will find they don't fit quite right.

Anonymous

I agree whole-heartedly with Shiny. And I love what you said about blaming the clothes, not your body. If the clothes don't fit you, there is something wrong with them.

I have dealt with weight/body image issues for a long time and I always seem to think to myself "oh, if I lose 5 (more) pounds, this would look so much better on me" in the dressing room. Sometimes I bought clothes thinking I would lose a little weight and they would look better, but I ended up with a closet full of clothes that just weren't right for me. And I'm realizing more and more how sill that was as I find clothes and shapes that work the best for me. In the past two years, I have weighed anywhere from 95 pounds to 125 pounds, and still, clothes tend to have the same issues in the same areas (too small at the bust, too large in the legs and shoulders, etc). Dress for the body you have now. And try to encourage yourself to think about working out/toning up in terms of the health benefits. I am a huge fan of yoga and strongly recommend it if you want to become leaner and toner, but I understand it is not for everyone.

I think I repeated a lot of what was said already and I know you have come to the same conclusion, but maybe at least a little of what I said helped confirm it for you.

Inge

(website)

I hear you Maya. I know exactly what you mean with 'squishy' and 'weak', although I must admit that I really don't see any 'squishiness' or 'large thighs' or 'thickness' at all in any of the pictures you have posted. I think you look great!

Me, I've gained a bit too much weight lately and have never been a big fan of the gym, but I do feel that some kind of exercise is important to keep healthy. So I've taken up swimming again (actually went for a swim this morning, first time in ages;-) and I have been doing a weekly pilates class (good for my back). If you'd ever like some variety: I think you might like pilates too, since it offers the same kind of body-mind concentration/relaxation as yoga (at least for me).
You probably have to do it more than once a week to see real results, i.e. less jigglyness and a more toned body, so we'll just have to keep at it right?

And I can relate to what you're saying about how you feel your clothes fit right now.
Although I'm convinced we should dress for the body we have, I do find it hard at times to go shopping with confidence, because in the back of my mind I keep thinking that I don't look my best at the moment and tend to focus on the negative. But aren't we all are own worst critics? And I think Shiny is right: it's a matter of finding styles that flatter and fit our body shape (which is not always easy).

So - phew long story just to say this - go for it Maya, there's no need to wait, you deserve great looking clothes right now. (and hey, shopping involves a lot of walking, so there you are, two birds with one stone).

Julia

I'd say go ahead and buy those clothes now AND do your favorite exercise as soon as you can.

I've lost 8 lb. in the last 3 months. I did a 5K training at home on my treadmill and controlled my diet at the same time. My waist came down from 30'' to 28'' after the first two weeks and stayed the same since, same as my hip, shoulder and chest sizes, they didn't change much. So I stayed as the same body type and still wear the same size.

However the size around my tummy came down from 35'' to 32'', which made a big difference on how the clothes look on me. I don't think my changes are obvious enough for people to notice, largely due to my round face, which doesn't change much if my weight loss is less than 15 pounds, but I feel much better looking myself in the mirror, and I get more energy and am happier as the side effects.

I'm not saying that you have to lose weight to feel better, but if you have the desire I would strongly encourage you to go for it, you get nothing to lose but the weight and size.

Maya

Veteran

Shiny: I am not out for an earth-shattering change. In the past, no matter how big my bottom half/boobs got, I could always rely on having a teeny waist. Now not so much. I've got a tummy where there never used to be one, so I often find myself wearing clothes to cover and conceal all my trouble spots...but I don't have a focal point, like Tanya and her waist, or Shannon and her killer legs. Shopping can be kind of depressing when you don't have a best feature to focus on, and you spend all your time trying to hide or cover up this or that. I think my shape will remain the same, but I'd like to get rid of that pooch and I think that's a reasonable enough goal. Just doing that much would make my pants feel so much better.

Inge: I'm glad someone knows what I'm talking about! It's not being fat or overweight in my case, it's just being very squishy. I can't find a better way to explain it! But it makes a huge difference. When your body is squishy, no matter what size you wear or what shape you are, the clothes tend to push around all that flab...whereas you could be the same size, same shape, and NOT squishy, and your body tells the clothes where to go instead. I haven't tried pilates but from what I heard it is an intense workout. Might be good for me. I'm going to check out a ballet barre class in town as well. It supposedly helps with posture as well, which I am badly in need of since I started sitting hunched over my computer for work all day.

Julia: Your experience sounds pretty much like what I am seeking. Just enough to make me feel better, even if no one else notices. I'm obviously more conscious of it because I know it's a result of being idle. I don't want to lose weight, just lose all the flab that accumulated since I stopped yoga. I'm actually very skinny in my face, hands, arms, and lower legs, so even though I'm not scrawny there are still things about me that give the illusion of being thinner than I am.

Thanks for the words of encouragement gals. I always wanted a sister and now I know why! I will go shorts shopping tomorrow with your blessings.

Antje

Veteran

Maya, I second the recommendation for Pilates. I started that about 2 months ago, replacing my former weight training exercises (which was too strenous for my neck etc.), and I'm a huge fan now. It's great for toning and firming everything up a little bit, and all that stretching just feels so good; I always feel much more "at home in my body" after class. It doesn't give you the spiritual experience that yoga often offers, but it is a very relaxing hour. Just something to consider, depends on what you're after. I alternate Pilates (2x/week) with running (2x/week) and found that to be the perfect mix for stress reduction, feeling "in shape", and feeling good about my body while having the permission to eat chocolate once a day

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Everyone has such inspirational stories and effective strategies to share. Such a lovely lot you are. I hope you feel you’ve been steered in the right direction, Maya. (You probably knew I was going to convince you to dress for the body you have right now). Lets see how you rock a pair of shorts tomorrow!

Inge

(website)

No need to explain any further Maya, I think I know exactly what you mean. I'm not overweight for my height either, but it just seems that the extra pounds I gained are all flab and no muscle;-) and one does tend to focus on that.

The ballet barre class sounds interesting, good luck with the yoga too and do keep us posted on what you buy today!

Nicole

Veteran

I was thinking about this thread last night...woke myself up thinking about it I think. I work in a law firm with my sister. She does Pilates at home and for Christmas, I bought her a yoga ball and mat. Well, the other day, she brings her yoga ball to work. She has been using it as a chair all week. It's adorable, every time I look over at her, she's bouncing. She said she saw it on a news channel and they reported that it would strengthen your core. Just watching her moving around on it all day, I bet she's burning a lot more calories too.

Anyway, just some food for thought for anyone out there who sits alot.

Maya, just about everyone reaches a certain age where they start to get squishy. Of course there are those lucky women who can be sedentary and eat whatever they want and look great. But exercising is about more than just looking good. It's about feeling good and being healthy. I always felt that if I was unhappy about something in my life, if I did nothing to change it, I felt worse. But if I was doing something about it--even if it wasn't working--I felt a lot better because I was taking control and responsibility for my situation.

Now that you're back home, maybe you can send out the call to your friends and get a friend or two to exercize w/you. It's always easier to stick with it when you have someone on the other end waiting for you.

Ana

(website)

Veteran

This is great advice from everyone!

What Nicole said is true, that just about everyone reaches an age where they start to get squishy. I think you're at an age when your body is changing a lot. You said that your hips are bigger than they used to be, right? I remember when I was 22 I gained 20 pounds in about 4 months! Then I lost 10 pounds just walking around. It wasn't really due to any dieting or anything on my part, I think my body was just finding its happy spot. I think yours might be too. I wasn't happy at the time (all of sudden none of my clothes fit and like you, I had little money to buy more), but now I actually want to keep my squishy parts, because at my "ideal rock-hard abs weight" I'm really a straight hourglass with no bum (ha ha! I finally have one!). It's hard going through it though, because I really don't like change, until I'm there, and then it's really not that bad.

I love Nicole's advice about just doing something and taking control of the situation. That is really good advice, for this and for lots of other things in your life. I'm always happier when I'm at least taking action about something. The ballet class sounds really fun! I would LOVE to take a ballet class.

Have fun! And for the record, I think you look great now, too.

Becky

Veteran

Another vote for Pilates. I have a video I do at home (Intermediate Mat Workout with Ana Caban, available on amazon) and it leaves me feeling really good and I can tell it really tones muscles all over.

Inge

(website)

I can confirm that the 'exercise ball' really works. It forces you to find your balance all day long, so you never really sit still (which is a good thing for your back my specialist says) and you do strenghthen your core. But you still have to take care to sit up straight though (I was so used to my ball after a while that I could slouch on that as well, it's a gift I guess;-). And it's always good to build in some variety: a few hours on the ball alternated with sitting on a high-backed chair to give your back some rest and support.

Sarah

I just wanted to chime in with my 2 cents and another vote for doing pilates and yoga. I do both, and they can certainly help with the squishy problem. I was in the same boat a while back. I was actually underweight, but fat in places at the same time because I had just finished a play with rehearsals all evening every evening and had no time to work out. Yoga and pilates helped me build some muscle and I did aerobics to get rid of the swishy fat. I do all of these at home with dvds. Ultimately, I’d like to do yoga or pilates and aerobics 6 days a week, but right now I’m alternating days with aerobics 3 days and pilates or yoga the other three days. The ballet class sounds fun. Enjoy getting healthy and shopping too.