I’m also late to this thread, but as always find your posts thoughtful and full of insight. My own weight loss led me to YLF over 2 years ago, After20 plus years at the same size, I had no idea why I kept buying thing things I ended up not wearing. You are so much further on that path than I was, and yet still there is some great advice here.

I wholeheartedly agree with the new u derthings advice. Is there a Nordstrom near you? I bought a SOMA bra right after my weight loss and found the SA had put me in the wrong size after about a month when it stretched out. They don’t have a great selection of small band sizes, if you fall into that category. She sold me what they had, a 34B. Turns out I’m actually now a 32D in most brands. The Nordstrom’s SA found multiple shapes and sizes that fit me perfectly.

In particular beware of the Vanishing Back Bras at SOMA - I love the concept but found out later from another SA they grow like crazy in band size even with hand washing.

Hi Karen13 -- There is a Soma and Nordstorms in the same shopping mall so your advice is timely. I knew about Soma's smaller size selection, but was unaware of the "vanishing back bras." I am certainly willing to stop by their store though and hear what they have to say.

To be honest, I thought I would start with the brand I am currently wearing (I can't think of the brand name right now, but it is an excellent bra that I stock up on during NAS).

Using that as my starting point, I can branch out as needed. I am committed to buying one new bra and three coordinated underpants. I have discovered that nude, light pink, and navy-colored bras are the most useful to me. The navy was a surprise, but I reach for it all the time. I don't think I want to go long without a well-fitting navy bra in my wardrobe.

FWIW, a well fitting bra shouldn't have any 'air' behind! I'm not big busted, and I HATE foam and padding. A good fitting bra doesn't necessarily make you look bigger, but it does 'lift' the girls up off the rib cage! The result is a higher bust line and a cleaner, more defined waist. Even 'little girls' can be 'locked and loaded'! Clothes fit better. Knits in particular look wonderfully better. The whole is a trimmer look that is honestly slimming and more youthful.

I was in 36A, until I got professionally fit into a 32C. It was shocking how much more comfortable and supported I felt. Part of the problem is that most stores in my little community didn't carry a band size smaller than 34! Once I got a proper fit and a couple of great but spendy bras, I kept my eyes open for sales on the same makes and models.

A wonderful SA at the Toronto Nordstroms gets most of my business these days and I check in from time to time for a fitting since weight loss and a change in my fitness regime has changed my upper body physique and thus my bra requirements.

Furthermore, you need a bra wardrobe. Different bras do different things! I actually prefer a minimizing bra under button downs and when I'm doing chores. My shoulders take up the shirt realestate and the buttons don't pull with the lower profile and everything is held firm. I have full coverage for under t-shirts and sweaters, and Demi's for tops with some exposed decoltage. Currently I'm liking Wacoal, Wonderbra, and Bali. Chanterelle is great, however my favourite has been discontinued and a Wacoal style fit the bill.

Stepping off my soapbox....

Hi RunCarla. Deep breath. Ok. Here it goes. I went to the mall today, was fit for a bra, and tried on a myriad of different iterations (all Wacoal) in slightly different sizes.

I went in wearing a 38C. She fit me into a 34D. I told her she was wasting her time, but she insisted I at least try it on. It was everything you said. It fit (I couldn't believe it). It look smooth.

Two problems. One, it felt so tight! She said it would "loosen up, but you don't want it too loose." I agree you don't want it too loose. But do I want to wear a bra that I want to tear off my body? Two, excess fat/skin squished out over the bra band. This was a new look. I kept pointing at it, telling her that this can't be right. She said that the squishiness happens to everyone. Everyone.

I bought it (and three matching underwear). I am going to wear the new bra for a couple of hours (with the tags on) and try it on with different sleeveless tops. The bra should make me look better in the tops. Don't you think that if the bra makes me look worse, it can't be the right size?

On the positive side, I didn't think I would be comfortable doing this. The woman was a professional. In no time at all, I honestly forget that I was standing there in my underwear with a stranger. It got easier and easier with each bra try-on.

I don't think I'm ready yet to buy a bra wardrobe. I understand the concept though. Your comment on bra minimizer for button downs was interesting though.

I think we can all get that loose skin/fat with a fitting bra.... But pinching tight is horrible although they do ease a bit.

Comfort means different things to different people - my sons find any sort of jeans uncomfortable for example. And how you like your bra to fit is also a degree of personal choice. Some people prefer to push up and others to minimise for example - neither is wrong. But yes you should prefer the shape of the tops with the new bra:)

I am a similar size (34DD or 36D) and I like a broad band at the back - ideally with three clasps. I have a mix of cups from full to balconette - I tend to prefer ones with seams. I don't like foam. I like pretty straps because I know they sometimes show and I don't worry about it.

I hope you like how the tops fit now.

Glad to learn you were with a pro who approached the process respectfully. Nothing to fear! Over time it becomes old hat!

One thing I remember from my first fitting is that the SA said the bra should stay up and provide support with the straps hanging down off my shoulders, as if it was a strapless bra. In other words, the straps weren't intended to hold up you breasts - the band is. Also, you start at the farthest hooks and over time snug in.

Like Sal, I look for a wide band with 3 hooks - something you see with the C and D cups, but not the smaller sizes (which usually feature 2 hooks).

I’m not sure I agree with the bra fitter about the spillage over the band (a little, may be, but not much) and your description of wanting to tear it off your body is concerning (unless it’s because you were always in too big of band and aren’t familiar with the feel of a supportive band?). I wear very supportive bras and found them comfortable from the start at the loosest hook level. As the band stretches over time you then go to the next set of hooks. You may want to try a second store or other bra brands for a comparison point. Very glad you felt comfortable with the help.

I’m not sure the comments on the spillage bit by the SA are right. I’m small on top (not meant in a boastful way - just reality - tiny even) and I can get spillage with same bras. I’m thinking it is actually about skin elasticity and getting older. I like a deep band at the side as that helps but really it’s to do with the cut of the bra I think.

Well done with fully embracing the bra fitting process. I don’t find it easy but i find it does lead to better purchases.

Thank you, Sal. I am going to wear it a bit on Saturday and try it on with a variety of my sleeveless tops. I want to see if the spillage is visible and how it feel as I move around. I want to say one more time, the shock I felt when I walked out of the store with a 34 band. I cannot remember ever having bought a 34 band (maybe as teenage girl). I hate foam and sculptured bras. I hadn't thought about the "pretty straps" though. That is a good idea.

Hi RunCarla -- The sales assistant was exceptionally GOOD. I honestly did not think I could go thorough it, but she made it seamlessly easy. I don't question whether I am a 34D or not, I question my comfort level and whether I can adjust to a properly fit bra. Evidently, I haven't worn the correct size for all my of my adult life. There are three hooks and the band itself can easily hold up the breasts, no straps necessary.

Toban -- I was thinking that "I could own a proper fitting bra, but if it was torture to wear it, I would avoid it at all costs." Here is the new plan. Wear this bra for a couple of hours, see how it feels, try it on with various sleeveless garments on Saturday. I have to go to the mall over the weekend. Go to Nordstorms, SOMA, and another one that was recently recommended to me, get a second fitting for comparison and try on several more bras. The first fitting was at Belks. I thought she was fabulous and I don't doubt her sizing, I doubt my ability to wear it. And yes, it is likely I have been wearing incorrect band sizes for most of my adult life.

Thank you, Jane. I have a plan now. That plan is all about little steps that I can accomplish without too much stress. This process will NEVER be fun and I envy RunCarla having her SA at the Toronto Nordstroms.

If you ladies do not mind, I thought I would start a second thread about bras fittings. I would copy your comments to the second thread.

Finally, I have new underwear! I am pretty excited about them. New brand to me (Wacoal).

Hi again Sterling, Sorry about the radio silence. Past few days have been crazy. My husband was the one who mentioned to me the news about Kate Spade yesterday. I’v been so overwhelmed that I hadn’t even seen the headlines. So very sad.

You had brought up discussion about both the sleeveless shirt topic and about the black versus navy and “is it necessary to choose.?” I think that it would be interesting to start each of those topics as a new thread.

I’m mostly on my mobile phone when I’m on YLF and my cut and paste selected text skills on mobile are fairly limited. I’d appreciate it if you started those threads fresh, with some background quotations. Maybe best to pick one at a time. I think that will be less confusing for everyone. Thanks.

As an aside, I totally relate to the whole thing about correct bras seeming hugely constricting. I’ve got two tips. One is that a few washings with something like Fashion Care Laundry Detergent powder will help soften it up without stretching it out. I recommend only using about 1/4 of the very small amount specified on the label, otherwise the bras kind of come out feeling starched.

The other recommended about tighter bras pertains to the details of the style. I find that if the middle of the chest underwires come up to low or high or lace on one edge versus another digs in, it can mean the difference between comfort or not. And I’ve found that I cannot generalize across brands too much. So I like a plunge bra in Natori but higher underwires in the middle in most other brands.

Hi 3Style. Nice to see you. I think new threads are a good idea. I'll start them over the weekend. We should both learn a lot.