I have to chime in here to add my admiration to the pile I have always found your posts to be very thoughtful and grounding (and grounded themselves). You write well and have interesting thoughts and ideas - which is important to me. We may not share style similarities, but I do consider you to be one who contributes intelligently and thoughtfully here. Dare I say you are my inspiration for approaching things in a calm and orderly fashion ? No pun intended.

Sterling, you have done a great job with discipline, both to lose the weight and form a new wardrobe slowly and carefully. One thing I learned was not to shop with anyone because to them everything I tried on looked better than it would have before weight loss. I got talked into things that did not suit me by well-meaning people, an expensive mistake. When you look in the mirror you will also see that outfits look good on you. It helps to shop from a list as long as finding an item on the list does not take over. No placeholders. I ended up with 4 red jackets that way. None were very good and none are left. I am wiser now but still holding out for just the right tomato red jacket.

STERLING- I am so thrilled for you. Thank you for sharing your journey and for explaining your fashion process. All around successful.
You are a great role model for determination in area of weight loss, putting focus on health and showing how to revamp your closet and stay on budget.
You are my new hero- super job.

Sterling, well done on the weight loss! I think your next shopping trip should be for those underpinnings. A well fitting bra will change how clothes particularly tops and jackets fit. It'll do wonders for your confidence too.

Thank you, Laura1975 and Brooklyn, I definitely agree with you. My next shopping trip should be for underpinnings. I have actually agonized over the decision to continue to wear last year's garments. Perhaps one bra and three pairs of matching new underwear are in order. These items will not break the bank and I am not opposed to doing laundry often.

Efbgen -- You honor me. Your post this morning just made me want to do that much better to deserve the honor.

Joy -- I am deeply prone to other people's opinions. I always have been .... especially in my teenage and early 20's. My only defense is an awareness of this weakness in myself.

YOU taught me to always ask this single question before buying, "If I buy this garment (e.g., red jacket), will I continue to shop for this same type of garment (e.g., red jacket)?" I can't you how incredibly helpful that single question has been to me in general and in wardrobe building. So simple. So concise. Yet, it's power is undeniable.

LisaP -- Thank you so much for weighing in. I don't necessarily always approach things in a calm or orderly fashion, but once I find my bearings, I try to re-orientate my world accordingly. March was an emotional month for me. I found my bearings and am proceeding forward.

I follow all of your posts with great interest. I am so looking forward to seeing how your wardrobe develops as a consequence of your major life change.

Brooklyn -- You are right about the tops being close to the face and having far more fashion impact than my plain navy and black bottoms.

When I originally wrote about my angst in March, I maintained that although all my bottoms no longer fit, the tops still fit. Of course, many comments were written suggesting I was fooling myself. So in the solitude of my very private bathroom, I honestly assessed the fit of my bras and my tops.

That exercise was also disheartening. One-half of my sports bras no longer fit. One-half of my day bras no longer fit. I had lost one entire cup size. Some bras did fit. Although I lost a cup size, I think the band size stayed the same.

The same with my underwear. About one-half of them no longer fit.

I decided it all came down to brand and cut. Some brands just fit better after the weight loss. I made a note of those brands and will be buying those brands going forward because as Toban pointed out they are weight fluctuating-friendly.

My goal has always been to buy at NAS, but perhaps I should make a trip to Belks this week.

THANK YOU, VIX. I do have what I need to get dressed for life. In fact, I am dressing more stylishly than I have in the past because I am using everything in a very small, tight capsule of my absolute best and favorite clothes. I have a harder time giving myself permission to indulge in wants. You are correct in assessing an internal tension (love that phrase). It is so strange because in some categories in life (dining out, expensive groceries, gym memberships), I never deny myself. There is something here that I need to explore more deeply.

Sterling, go buy new underpinnings now! If these aren’t right you can’t judge the fit of other clothes, especially blazers and tops. It makes that much difference.

Sterling I am intrigued by your last comment that although you stick to a strict budget with your clothing you never deny yourself expensive groceries, dining out or gym memberships. I am almost the exact opposite of you- I always grocery shop in the cheapest, most basic way. I’ve been known to refuse to buy tissues. I haven’t had a gym membership since I was a teenager as I deem them an extravagance. But clothing? Now THAT’S where I indulge.
Interesting how we each view such things so differently! Maybe we each ought to take a leaf out of the other’s book lol.

Thank you, Style Fan. It has been challenging, but truthfully, all the work I have done on my wardrobe over these past years has really provided a solid foundation to build.

AND I was pretty certain that a person should be able to button a jacket and move their arms. That sales person would have said anything to get me to buy. And I almost did. She was exerting so much pressure and effort, that I was beginning to feel an obligation to buy. THEN I came to my senses and I said "wait a minute .... what is happening here?" I scurried out of the store as fast as I could.

Unfrumped -- Fluctuations in weight are an excellent opportunity to evaluate, revamp, and shrink a wardrobe (if shrinkage is a goal). My wardrobe has certainly shrunk these past few months. I am resolved to never letting it grow as large as it was in my pre-YLF days.

I am especially weary of buying lots of duplicates. I like your idea of having more “one of” items. THIS will be challenging for me because I am prone to duplication. Your idea of owning pants that have a singular purpose of style, fit, length, or season is sheer brilliance. I know that as I rebuild, I will continue to buy black pants. I'll make sure I am considering your "one of" idea and try to avoid outright duplication.

Congratulations on reclaiming your waist!! Feels good, doesn't it? I'll continue to watch for updates.

3Style -- You bring up SO many things to ponder in wardrobe building and life! I absolutely love how you buy multt-purpose tops and migrate them across categories. I will have some more questions for you in the near future because this seems brilliant. Another one of those "why didn't I think of it?"

But I wanted to explore black versus navy with you instead. I am having the exact same debate with myself!!! I was certain that I wanted to transition my black base to a navy base. This phase of my style journey was the best opportunity I was ever going to have to make that transition.

So I started consciously buying navy garments and navy accessories. I consciously stopped buying black.

Problems arose. I genuinely like black. Even if I stop buying black altogether, I still have a solid foundation of things that work best with black. And don't forget the black purses, briefcases, and shoes that I own.

It was almost as though the black was calling out to me.

So I made decision to build TWO separate, but equal, capsules. One based on a black neutral. One based on a navy neutral.

The photo is very tiny, but it gives you an idea of where I am heading.

TexStyle -- That idea about shoes was revolutionary to me. I genuinely thought they were the absolute last thing someone thought about as they ran out the door. Then, in 2018, I started seeing these posts that had statements like "first you start with the shoes ...." I don't remember who wore that statement, but it turned me on my heels. Then Angie's Blog about shoes followed closely thereafter. I was smitten. For the first time in my life, I get it.

I will be shopping for good foundation garments this Saturday, Toban.

Hi Jussie -- Fascinating that we have such different indulgences. Perhaps I can explain my thinking.

If I gave free rein to my love of clothes and fashion, there really is no telling how much money I would spend on this budget item. I guessed early in life that this was (or could be) a problem for me and took steps to prevent spending on clothing from getting out of hand. Thus, a strict budget was implemented.

In contrast, I worry less about expenses related to dining. I see them less as a budget item and more as a social activity. I have a budget allotment for entertainment. I can spend that money however I choose, I usually choose to spend it dining out with friends.

The gym and food are "health related." I tell myself that by spending money on these categories I am possibly deferring expensive medical bills. Rationalization? Perhaps.

The truth is I love to eat. I derive incredible enjoyment out of cooking, dining out with friends, and eating in. There is a rare food that I haven't tried at least once. There are few recipes I have not attempted at home. That does not mean I am a good cook. It means I love the process and the experimentation and that I am willing to eat what I cook most of the time. A gorgeous grocery store or coffee shop fills me with happiness.

Now the gym is harder to rationalize ... so I won't even go there.

You need your indulgences too. Saving on tissue might mean the difference between buying the perfect sweater for you versus one that is sub par. We have similar pots of money. We distribute it differently.

The depth and breadth of this thread is fascinating and a learning experience-thank you STERLING

Enjoyed reading this thread. Sterling you are doing a great job rebuilding both wardrobe and confidence; I understand your feelings on the topic completely. I'm much, much further down the road (talking years, here) than you are and still finding myself trying to adjust. It's a strange feeling every time!! There are still plenty of too-large pieces in my wardrobe waiting to be replaced that I am "working with" because I still love them and it takes more time and resources to update than I can give them. A little at a time is fine

Thank you, Efbgen! You made my day.

Aida -- thank you for the positive reinforcement. It is an adjustment and I feel compelled to make some of my larger sized items work for me at this phase of my journey. I am glad I am not the only one.

3Style -- this is the approach I want to explore still more with you .... if you have time.

The only category that I have a large number is sleeves tops, because nowadays I only buy multifunctional ones. At this point I only buy Talbots or jjill sleeveless tops because they have a lot of non-sheer bra-straps covered options. I wear them for by themselves, or for layering and don’t buy camisoles. Then they get downgraded to gear and then eventually sleepwear. The quality is so much better than most items actually sold as sleepwear. Very efficient. Learned that trick from a book. Closet Confidential: Style Secrets Learned the Hard Way by Winona Dimeo-Ediger.

Do you think we should start another thread or explore it here? I'm willing either way.

I was going to advise you to get new foundation garments, even if you had to take out a loan - then I read that you will be shopping for them this weekend. A proper bra is so, so, so very important, and good undies too. Transformative, really.

Thank you, RunCarla. My plan is to buy one really good bra and three coordinating underwear. It is HARD making myself do this for so many reasons. Bra fittings, ick. Bra selections, oh so many!

Try to find somewhere that does bra fittings. With weight changes getting help with this makes the process easier. I like Soma because of this, and because it has a more manageable selection compared to department stores.

I found two Somas in driving distance. That should help a lot.

Sterling, just wanted to pop in and say that yet again, your thread has been extremely interesting, along with your progress in general!

I'll be interested in how your bra fitting goes. As someone who is very small busted and who has quite a range in sizes - AA to B cup, (many hand me downs) I do find that almost all of them contain a fair bit of "air" behind varying amounts of padding, but I don't really feel that the ill fittingness makes much (any?) difference to how I look.

Sterling, I have thoroughly enjoyed this thread. Congratulations on all of your achievements and discipline. (And your new love for shoes !) Not really the main point, but gym membership, assuming you go is probably the best investment in your future health there is. Thank you for sharing and also your thoughtful and insightful comments!

Anne, please get a good bra fitting ASAP. I am very small and it does make a big difference.
Agreement with what Shevia said. My latest bone density tests show that I need to get busy and find a gym I like in my new location. Walking is not enough.
Sterling, you are right. Those 4 red jackets taught me to ask that question, because I kept looking. The money I was spending on several almosts could have gone to buy one great jacket that would have satisfied the need. In the end, one great piece is better than a half dozen mediocre ones taking up closet space.

Joy, I hope your day is going ok - I saw you mention hospital on another thread.

I did get a bra fitting about 6 years ago, and have had the same style since when I've bought them.But every one bar the strapless is a little empty on the top because I am very flat there - I don't mind it though, as I can do with all the padding I can get!

Sterling: interesting to hear your reasoning behind your budget allocations. When you wrote that cafes and fine meals fill you with joy, well, then it’s right and perfect that that’s where your spare budget goes. I’m a firm believer that we need to do what makes us joyful as often as possible! We only live once right?
I enjoy eating but don’t need very much variety. Breakfast and lunch today were both porridge, dinner will be tomato soup (tinned) and garlic bread. Snacking on leftover Easter chocolates.
However I love clothes, and painting. I’ve spent quite a lot on art classes, because it brings me joy. And of course clothes.
Best of luck with your dreaded underwear shopping.

I got to this post late and then so much wisdom had already been imparted I did not know what to add.....

Firstly well done on maintaining your weight loss and living a healthy life!!

Secondly for breaking some of your shopping patterns and operating on a small capsule wardrobe.

I think that a slow rebuild is in order given your feelings around this - there will always be more clothes so there is no panic to buy quickly and restock. At some point it will be enjoyable!!

I think it is fine to wear tops that are a oversized....most of us compromise in some way in our lives as has been discussed. I choose to keep a pretty lean jeans collection because I like variety in summer dresses, I own one puffer which is five years old because I prioritised a other essentials over a second puffer. And in other aspects of my life as well (I drive an oldish car because I prefer holidays and don't like debt and am uninterested in cars).

So we all have different paths and that is what makes life interesting.

Jussie, I love porridge too. It's a treat for me though, as wheat free oats are pricy, though my mum does buy them for me. I try for no more than three times a week.

Anne -- I've done exactly what you have done wrt to bras. About half of my day bras and sports bras have a fair bit of "air." I've been using pads for day-bras. I genuinely don't know if this affects how I look or not. But I am committed to shopping for a new bra this weekend at Soma. I'll let you know how the overall process goes.

Jussie -- I fully endorse anything in life it just a little easier. For me that is food. For you, art. I consider clothing to be wearable works of art. I couldn't imagine life without little indulgences.

Jussie and Anne -- I too love porridge, but I call it oatmeal!! I eat breakfast at work so on weekends I cook up a huge batch and freeze it with assorted berries. I grab a frozen oatmeal and lunch entree as I leave the house each morning.

You are never late, Sal. Thank you for the encouragement. It helps more than you can imagine. AND YES. I have broken two very bad shopping habits (over duplication and sales shopping). I would never have thought I could make so much progress addressing my bad shopping habits. I admit it happened gradually, but I am thrilled when I walk away from a sales rack without even looking. ME!

Joy -- It is so nice to hear from you. I am so sorry to hear about your latest bone density results. I had always been told that walking was a weigh-bearing exercise and it strengthened bone density. Now I am realizing that might be incorrect. Find a gym and let us know how you are doing.

I am trying to make my brain/heart understand that spending money on multiple not-quite perfect jackets is not a win when I could have bought one great jacket instead. I fully agree that the one great piece is far better than a half dozen mediocre ones taking up closet space. My brain hears you. My heart just left the room.

Shevia -- Thank you for the positive re-enforcement. I do pay for a gym membership, but I can't say I use it as often as I should. I go more in the summer months than the winter months.