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Bridesmaid wear

Kari

Veteran

Sorry, one more post for the weekend. I've just been to a wedding, so I'm trying to think ahead about another wedding that I'll be a bridesmaid in this summer. (I've never been in the wedding party EVER so I'm slightly nervous.)

The bride, who is very sweet and low-maintenance, not only let us select our own dresses but really didn't mind if we weren't all in the same dress. However, we all liked this style best and in this color: http://karip.smugmug.com/photo.....TuJ-XL.jpg
We plan on pinning the matching sash differently so the bow is in the back, though.

However, there are a few issues that the bride is leaving up to us individually that I'm trying to plan for. I have a while, but I'm trying to get started on my search early:
1. Shoes. The wedding will be in a slightly rustic location and I think the plan is to have it outdoors (weather permitting.) I'll need shoes that I can stand in for a good while but aren't so delicate that I'd ruin them by walking on gravel. I was thinking a silver/pewter shoe would be good and wouldn't show dirt as much as white. I love the look of the BP Empire sandal that Angie blogged about, but they look a bit delicate. I might try them anyway, though.

2. Accessories. My mom has a choker-length pearl necklace belonging to my grandma that I could try, and I have a slightly longer necklace with floating freshwater pearls. I also have a selection of fun earrings that I can try.

3. Hair. I am absolutely TERRIBLE at styling my own hair - without volumizing product it lacks body, and it won't hold curls/waves, so I usually end up flat-ironing it and leaving it down. I'm willing to try out a new style to see if I can manage it on my own at the wedding. My hair is currently like this and will probably be a similar length/style (though possibly with more defined bangs) in mid-summer:
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_iFHB.....e+335b.jpg
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_iFHB.....e+142b.jpg

Unfortunately I don't have a picture of myself in the gown from the first fitting (which was several months ago) and the next fitting won't be until a month before the wedding (the place we ordered the dresses from wants to make sure you are the same size/shape you'll be in at the wedding before they do final alterations.) The bridal shop we selected is an hour away from me, but I may stop by one that's closer to home that carries the same brand and see if they have the dress in stock.

Dressing

19 replies

Latest reply was from Kari

Anonymous

Is it a possibility that you will want to have your hair styled by a pro for the wedding so you can take the stress off of yourself that day. You could start going to her now so you can get to know each other and she can begin to cut your hair towards the style for the big day. You could do the same with makeup if you think it will lighten the load for the wedding day. Remember you will be in important pics on their wall forever.
The dress style looks like it will be flattering, and you can have fun with accessories. The model is not wearing much in the way of jewelry and that looks nice too. I like the sound of the the longer pearl necklace. It would be great if they looked good together as a double strand. Possibilities.

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Kari

Veteran

San, thank you for chiming in with suggestions. It would be tough to go with a pro for makeup and the wedding - the wedding is about 2.5 hours away from where I live and not near a large city, so I'd probably have to drive 30 minutes away to find a stylist and don't think I'd have time to meet with one before the wedding day. That would probably be too much stress. The bride is actually getting her hair and makeup done by one of the other bridesmaids, so it's possible she may be able to help with my hair, but I don't want to count on that since the bride should definitely come first.

However, I have a great stylist at home, so I may query her to see if she can teach me a simple style (something I can manage on my own) that will look good at the wedding.

Thanks, I sure hope the dress will be flattering! It's the first time I've purchased anything without being able to try it in "my size" first. They only had sample sizes, so we all had to guesstimate how it would fit each of us. Fortunately the shop we went to was very helpful in advising us about what they could do to tailor it & what sizes to purchase. I'm just a little nervous since it's been such a long time that I can't recall how I actually looked in the dress or where the neckline hits me. That will help a lot in determining what necklaces to wear. I am really leaning towards pearls!

shell

what a pretty bridesmaid dress! i'm sure you'll look great in the final product!

so, for shoes - are just thinking something with a more substantial heel or an all-around sturdy shoe? i'd be most worried about the heel digging into soft ground! here are a few options i found with a relatively substantial heel -

http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/29.....2&P=2 (silver would be pretty)

http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/29.....2&P=1 (either color)

http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/29.....2&P=1 (black)

http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/29.....2&P=1 (any color)

http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/30.....2&P=1 (either color - slight pref. for grey)

http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/29.....2&P=1 (any color - slight pref for pewter)

these two also seem to have a pretty sturdy shape and heel -

http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/29.....2&P=1 (black)

http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/30.....2&P=2 (LOVE the sequin heel!)

for the jewelry, pearls sound fab. i'm not sure about a choker style with this neckline - i would opt for something a little longer. what do you think?

definitely keep us posted on the advancements! my bridesmaids will be looking for their dresses/shoes in a few months, and we could certainly use your feedback!

Kari

Veteran

Shell, thank you for your suggestions. What an awesome plethora of shoes! I love the Glint Zina slides and Vaneli Puppy pump. They Seychelles On The House pumps are cute and the glittery heel is fun! I can see you in those shoes for sure, and maybe I can be sassy enough to pull them off.

Yes, I'm mostly worried about delicate heels that will sink into gravel and get torn up. I have this issue on city streets too with cracks in the pavement/gaps between sidewalks. For walking on gravel, the chunkier the shoe, the better. Maybe I need to look out for a grey/pewter/silver wedge heel, so it sounds like a trip to Nordstrom (or perhaps Nordstrom Rack) is in store.

Both of the pearl necklaces are relatively short, which is why I'm concerned about not remembering how high the neckline hits me. I also have a long faux-pearl necklace that I've posted (http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_iFHB....._+136b.jpg) but I think it's probably a little too long and informal. I'll have to play around with jewelry to see what works & isn't distracting.

Congratulations on your own upcoming wedding! When are you getting married?

Anonymous

Your hair looks beautiful in the pictures you posted. I'm not sure why you say you are terrible at doing your own hair. Angie said once that no matter the occasion her head always looks the same. Isn't that what you said Angie? Whether going to a ball or other outing she has the same makeup, and I think she said same hairstyle too.
Shell posted some amazing shoes.
As for the necklace, I think pearls would be beautiful, but I wonder if there are any rules for the jewelery bridesmaids wear? I ask because I think it is pretty common for the bride to wear pearls.

Kari

Veteran

San, thanks. I am okay at doing my hair on a daily basis, but I only know how to style it this way. I'm hopeless with curls or trying to pin parts of it up, which is why I generally keep it short. I don't think the bride would mind me wearing my hair down, but I think the other girls (who have longer hair) will be wearing theirs in updos or curls. I hope I can find something manageable for me to replicate but that won't make me look too casual.

Good point about jewelry. I think I'll just ask the bride what she's wearing to make sure I don't overstep my bounds. If she's keeping it simple, maybe I'll just skip the necklace and choose some pretty earrings instead.

San and Shell, I so appreciate your help. As a novice bridesmaid (and someone who never attended weddings while growing up), there is so much that I'm learning!

Anonymous

Just the fact that you are asking questions here goes to prove that you will be great at being a bridesmaid. What an honor for you.
I hope we get to see pics of you in you beautiful dress.

Kari

Veteran

I'm thrilled to be involved in this wedding. The bride and one of the other bridesmaids are both sweet former roommates (and good friends), and the groom was essentially my surrogate brother in college.

The next fitting is still a good two months away, but I'll do my best to post a pic once I get my dress!

shiny

Veteran

Hair - I think your hair is lovely and that you do a great job styling it yourself. I don't think I would do a thing to it. It is similar style to my own; the only thing I might try is a deeper, more dramatic part, and then tucked behind the ears (that's my M.O. for dressier occasions). But just the way you have it in the photos is beautiful as is!! I would not worry at all about the other bridesmaids and their updo's.

Shoes - why not try Target or Payless for inexpensive dress shoes, the kind you don't mind ruining on the gravel? That is what I would probably do. In fact, my most comfy metallic dress sandals are from Target. Cost something like $10 several years ago, and still going strong.

Jewelry - this is tougher. It's funny; since the Oscars I've been pondering the idea that women in formal gowns tend to look better without a necklace. If you look at the red carpet best-dressed, you'll see most did not wear a necklace but did wear earrings or a nice bracelet. Otherwise, I think you can't really go wrong with long pearls. But you could instead try a pearl cuff bracelet and skip the necklace.

Anonymous

Awwe. Sounds like you are very special to the couple. This will be a very sweet day for you.
When you post pics of you wearing the dress we can help with choosing accessories. However, you do have great assesorizing abilities already.
Don't forget to think of undergarments too, incase you need something special in that dept, like a low back bra.
I also like the BP Empire sandals that Angie posted. They look like the perfect shoe and the silver/pewter would be beautiful with that dress. The dress color is so pretty.

Kari

Veteran

Shiny, thank you for saying my hair is lovely. I think many of us wish for hair that is different from what we have, but I'm learning to accept and love my natural texture.

I've actually become so enamored of Taraji P. Henson's cute bob at the Oscars that I'm thinking I might try that cut (bangs included) prior to the wedding to see if I can make it look fab. It's not terribly different from what I have now and follows your suggestion of a more dramatic part.

Great suggestion to look at Target for shoes! Just in case I have a mishap it would be great if I hadn't spent a bundle on footwear, but I do want to make sure my feet are comfortable.

San, I found a bridal shop nearby that supposedly carries the bridal designer's line. I'm going to see if they have the exact dress so I can try it on again and take photos. I think that will help a lot.

Again, thanks a million to you helpful and knowledgeable ladies for all of your advice!

Kari

Veteran

Update for San, Shiny, and Shell:

I tried on the sample dress today and I'm a lot less worried. The V-neck is low (about where it hits the model in the picture) but it's still high enough on me that with certain bras, I might be able to get away with it. We'll have to see after the dress gets tailored. The bridal shop we ordered from says they can always add in a little modesty panel if need be.

Alas, I didn't have my camera with me, but I took some crummy pictures with my cell phone. It's very hard to see the V in front of the dress, but at least I can see which areas will need tailoring (the dress will certainly need to be hemmed & the straps shortened) and know that the overall shape is flattering.

http://karip.smugmug.com/photo.....mF-O-1.jpg
http://karip.smugmug.com/photo.....qVzG-O.jpg
http://karip.smugmug.com/photo.....Z-XL-1.jpg

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

I'm chiming in late, but this is a good choice Kari and the pictures did the trick! You shall be an exquisite bridesmaid both inside and out :0)

shell

love the dress on you, kari! what color is the actual dress going to be?

Kari

Veteran

Angie, you just made me blush. Thank you.

It was a thrill for all of the bridesmaids (very different body shapes) to find one dress that should be flattering on all of us. I can't wait to see them when they're finished.

Shell, the dress will actually be this cornflower blue color: http://karip.smugmug.com/photo.....TuJ-XL.jpg

shell

oh - i forgot about the original picture! silly me! thanks for the reminder!

merry77

I love the dress, Kari. It looks great on you, too.

If you want to try something new with your hair, I would definitely have your stylist help you ahead of time. Maybe you could do a partial updo with a fancy comb to add detail since it won't hold curls. Then you could wear nice earrings for your jewelry.

I love Shiny's idea about not wearing a necklace but wearing a bracelet. Do you know what kind of flowers you'll be carrying? I would think about that when thinking about a bracelet.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

My preference is to leave your hair beautifully bobbed. Few people look fabulous with a classic bob and you are one of those lucky people. Your features are bob-perfect, Kari :0)

Kari

Veteran

Merry, I'm not sure what kind of flowers I'll be carrying. Good question! This is why it's great to have experienced wedding people around.

For jewelry, I have a delicate crescent-shaped bracelet with small, irregular pearls wrapped in wire all over it, and I either have some faintly pink pearl earrings or white freshwater pearl earrings, and I'm thinking they might work.

Angie, this is music to my ears since a bob is the longest fool-proof hairstyle I can manage. I'll double-check with the bride to make sure she doesn't mind me wearing my hair down, but for now that sounds like the most stress-free plan.