Breaking up is never easy I know... - YouLookFab Forum

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Breaking up is never easy I know...

Jenni NZ

Veteran

Yep, an ABBA fan from way back, when I was 15. This is about my issues with culling. I am trying to reduce the size of the wardrobe but oh it's difficult. Two items on this post. I'm going to manage the first one since I first wore the skirt 21 YEARS ago! It has been enlarged once as I loved it so much and was sad back in the day after finishing having the children. My DH is a very good sewer as his job is a veterinary surgeon! He enlarged the waistband. It doesn't fit again past several years and I can see it is faded. Pic 1 is on Christmas Day 1995 with my wee girls and their great-grandfather. Pic 2 is 9 years later, 2004 for a dress-up hippy 40th birthday party of a friend. Pic 3 is the skirt now and pic 4 the clever alteration DH did. I'm just asking if others have things they adore this much? I loved the embroidery and the mirrors, it was from a UK retailer that was in NZ for a while, Monsoon, which I believe has a lot of Indian inspiration. Anyway I can finally let it go. I feel that maybe I feel like this about clothes that I've been really, really happy in? I wore that skirt heaps in the early years and my father-in-law said at a family gathering. "You've worn that skirt a lot". I looked at him slightly quizzically, he worked as a builder and NEVER commented on clothes. But then he said " I never get tired of looking at it." That was something!
The second one is the pale green jacket I wore briefly last weekend at the winery lunch. It is bit tight in the sleeves, but I still like the colour and have some pale greeny-grey pants, gold singlet, pale olivey-gold knit sweater etc it goes well with. Pic 5 attached. Why did some of you think it looked too frilly or whatever and that it didn't look "modern", implying it looked dated? What makes it so? I don't understand. I bought it in 2010.
I am flying off on holiday tomorrow morning to Queensland's Sunshine Coast- hope it lives up to its name- so may not check the forum as much but may still be able to. Also it's possible after 3.5 months I may break the purchasing fast there. Not sure.
All ideas welcome.

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14 replies

Latest reply was from Bonnie

rachylou

Veteran

Haha! I have a dress that your skirt's embroidery reminds me of... from when I was 5 or 6 years old! I am NEVER parting with it!

I think your jacket looks 'Edwardian inspired.' Or perhaps Anne of Greene Gables. Not old but harkening to an earlier aesthetic. Although, I could also see it working in a post-apocalyptic style outfit... maybe what people responded to, that is maybe your aesthetic is generally more contemporary...?

Bijou

Veteran

Jenni, on the TV show, "What Not to Wear" I can remember some advice that Trinny & Suzanna gave was "Love people and animals, but not things" when helping a lady revamp her style. It really spoke to me, because like you I can get attached to items and have to ask myself "Why am I keeping this?".

I do think it is fine to keep keepsakes from an important time or occasion (I have my wedding dress for example). But when it comes to other clothing that is less sentimental, worn, outdated, no longer fits, or just not me anymore, it is OK to let them go.

I am very impressed by your husband's sewing skills and your photos from the past are gorgeous and will always be there to remind you of that very special skirt, if you chose to part ways. I also love ABBA!

Style Fan

Veteran

That skirt is great Jenni. Your DH is very talented. I would certainly wear the skirt if it fit. I could also see wearing the jacket. I am probably the wrong person to ask. I have a closet full of vintage clothing (and handbags).

This is a picture of me wearing my fringe jacket that I bought for high school. I bought it in the late 60s or early 70s. And also here is a picture of a Pucci shirt from that era. I adore these pieces and they are staying in my wardrobe.

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Jennib12

I'm sure that skirt could tell a lot of stories! I think it's great that you've had such a workhorse of a piece for so long, and if you're ready to let it go, maybe it will feel good? I know I've had certain pieces in my closet that I knew were no longer (or maybe never) right for me, and it was always a bit 'lightening' to let them go.

As for the jacket, I find it hard to visualize when it's on the hanger. Did you post a photo of you in it last week? I can't remember. I wonder how it would look with slimmer pieces underneath?

Ledonna N.

Veteran

Jenni what a fab skirt and jacket. I think well it sounds to me as if you are holding tight to the memories that this skirt brings up. I think that is totally fine.
Sometimes it is hard to let a piece go. The hardest part comes when you dont want to let anything go. I wonder if you can reinvent thr skirt somehow? For example cut a piece of the colourful fabric and frame it or incoperate parts of it into a blanket or something else.

I have a sued and fur coat I'll neverlet go of. I have had it for years and it vrings me such joy to wear.

krishnidoux

Veteran

Good call Bijou!

Jenni, good for you to take an honest look at your closet like that, and purge whatever doesn't suit your present life.

The skirt might not be at its place in your closet but it is a keepsake. So much love has been put into it, and it has so much history, it's almost alive.

As for the jacket: I am curious to know why you wore it "briefly". When I wear something briefly, it is because it doesn't really fit or something is wrong about how it feels on me. You may be familiar with the concept of 2-hours heeled shoes as opposed to 8-hours shoes. Well, I think the same applies to clothes. I have had to donate jackets/cardis that were the perfect color, perfect cut, perfect fit for the sole reason that they did not live up to their job of being a "topper", that is to say they were not warm enough. You mention your jacket is a bit tight. Could this be the culprit? It's difficult to say more from a pic of it on a hanger.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I was thinking the same thing as Ledonna -- how about taking some of that embroidered fabric from the skirt and making a cover for a throw pillow out of it?

I get it though. I have some things that are hard to part with. I'm getting better at it though. I seem to have hit a point in life where I don't want to be surrounded by stuff I'm not using.

unfrumped

Veteran

Congratulations on working through the clothing psychology!

I've been doing a LOT of culling this spring and while I don't have as much sentimental issues, I do fall into, oh dear, I might need this SOME day, or not be able to find ( this color, this material), or something better, or, I spent this $$...

I had to keep my goal in mind, of having more breathing space in closet and not having things if put on and then take off for some reason. I did not want to just throw things out for the sake of minimizing, but I also have enough items that there is no reason to wear item B if item A looks better. I had to get over my stubborn streak about that because wearing item B's was part of not wanting to admit either I'd made a mistake or taste had changed or something.
Most of the time I can tell what is wrong if I wear the item and " feel" the fit and see myself from some different angles. The blazer I THOUGHT I had to have due to color, but actually is a poor fit . The pants that look frumpy compared to my " best" pants.
If any items actually fit and look great and I'm not sure what to do, I either start wearing them as soon as possible- and this has led to some new outfits and no need to buy something similar-or I allow myself to put in holding zone.
Also there is a role for saving a few sentimental items in storage but realizing that wearing is no longer good.

Anonymous

For me, the degree of difficulty of getting rid of an item mounts in line with its price tag. One thing I've noticed is that it's easier to purge very close to when the item stopped being used.

As far as your jacket goes, it looks very limp on the hanger so i would want to see it on you. It looks quite casual so maybe that's why people didn't think it was the right thing for the occasion? Not sure.

Anonymous

Would the skirt fit one of your daughters? If you really want to keep it, I like the idea of using the decorative part of the fabric for something like toss pillow covers or placemats. You could even frame a piece of it.
I suspect that the jacket's collar makes it look dated, but if you like it, you could pair it with modern pieces or go full out boho. Do you like wearing the color?
Have a wonderful relaxing holiday.

Anonymous

Wellllllll, I am the least sentimental person when it comes to clothing, and I always question - "save it for what exactly?" . Ultimately, it becomes something saved in a box in a closet somewhere. And with regard to your jacket- to me, anything bought in 2010 is in danger of being dated just by virtue of it being 7 years old now. The style is a classic artsy boho though, and if the linen is still in good condition and the jacket fits you properly (and you mentioned it was tight in the sleeves) - then you could look to update it by wearing it with jeans and a tank and some heeled sandals - for example, and by keeping your accessories modern and bold (not boho) . But why keep something that doesn't fit perfectly anymore? I need to listen to my own advice - because I am always convinced I will lose 10 lbs tomorrow. But you what? As we age , that usually doesn't happen. You've had 7 years with it - let it go and get something that makes you feel great !

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

I like the cushion idea. Am impressed with hub's sewing skills!

Sisi

Veteran

Unlike Lisap, I am the most sentimental person on earth (and this complicates my life a lot ) so I am of no help ... Sorry. I enjoyed looking at those lovely pictures and I can understand why you have loved that skirt so much. You made me laugh with your veterinarian/sewer husband!

Bonnie

Veteran

I really enjoyed reading the story and looking at the photos of your skirt. You should keep it. It makes you happy, and as someone said, maybe one of your daughters will enjoy it some day. I think the jacket is really interesting, try styling it different ways to see what works.