Boss says I'm rude? - YouLookFab Forum

So at work, save for a few individuals I trust, I generally don't talk to any of my coworkers. Most customers, forget it, I don't shut up. But being a cashier and the types of girls my age are gossips and very cliquey. There is one CSM (customer service manager, the manager directly over my head) who is maybe a few years older than me. Since I transferred over to this Walmart a little less than a year ago, this CSM has seemed to dislike me on sight. She's friends with most of the other girls on my level who are outright rude to me on several occasions, one of whom is related to one of my bullies from my hometown (the same girl is also the daughter of a friend of our store manager and gets away with ignoring customers and having her phone out 90% of the time she's on the floor on top of taking 20 minute bathroom breaks). Anyway I'm getting off track. I went back to my register from redlining (waiting for customers) to get my sweatshirt, which I had stuffed underneath. As I'm zipping it up, the CSM comes charging up, already looking irritated. "What do you want? What's your training question?" "I didn't have one I just wanted to get my sweatshirt..." I didn't even unlock my screen, so I couldn't have called her. "It says it RIGHT HERE." Holding out her palm pilot. "I didn't-" "Don't disrespect me it says it RIGHT HERE! C training question!" Then she stalks off.

I'm shaken because I was trying to figure out what I did wrong and whether I was going to get in trouble for something I didn't even do. A few minutes later she comes over and tells me she wants to talk to me alone. She pulls me a foot away from everyone else so they could still hear.

"What happened? For the longest time we been fine, now for the last few weeks you've been very disrespectful. I am your CSM and you need to respect me." She left the tone with a very "I will file a report against you if this doesn't change."

I don't even talk to this CSM! I don't make faces at her, I speak in as humble a tone as I can manage. I'm lost and I'm worried that I'm in trouble when I don't even know what I'm doing....

12 years ago

Anonymous

Oh, dear. Could someone else be sending her messages making it seem that they come from you.

BroadEarthQueen

(website)

Active Member

According to her this has been for the past several weeks. The only instance where she could possibly get the wrong idea about me happened months ago.

A and I were talking about something silly and random, I don't remember what. But the next minute I look over and that coworker, we'll call her Ro, was pointing at me and looking at me while talking to the CSM. The next minute after THAT, CSM marches over and moves me to a register all the way across the way. (from register 2 to the last one, 14!) Without even telling me why.

rachylou

Veteran

I think you're missing something in this picture. I don't know what. Is this the only CSM you report to?

In any case, if there is someone else you can talk to about this situation, who might be able to help you, that is a place to start. Don't say all you've said here. Keep it short and sweet and to the point. Tell them you need help and don't know what to do next. You might want to talk to the person who would take the report she'd file against you.

Say something like, "So-and-so doesn't seemed pleased with my work. She seems to be getting messages on the Palm that I didn't send. I'm at a loss."

I would advise you to make small talk with your co-workers tho, as an aside. You don't have to be friends, but just ask them how they are, if they have plans on their days off, leading up to what's on the work agenda and work things that need to be taken care of. It's important to communicate, establish open lines of communication. That's a very important part of being a not just a good worker, but an excellent worker.

Janet

I agree with rachylou -- keep it very high-level, and don't go into details. Try to keep it to voicing your concerns that you want to have a good relationship with your supervisors and co-workers, and asking what you can do to improve things.

Maybe you can even bring this conversation to the CSM who seems to have a problem with you. In the most non-confrontational way, of course. Just letting her know that somehow you've gotten off on the wrong foot with her but want to get things on track so that you are all happier working together.

It sounds like you are very conscientious, and perhaps some of your co-workers are less so. They may feel a bit threatened by you. I've been there, although it was years ago, when I was only 20. I got through the experience by being as agreeable, professional and competent as possible, while looking for another job. If a supervisor seems intent on undermining you because of their own insecurity, it may be hard to get past this to build a healthy work environment.

I wish you luck!

I can try to talk to my next up, that sounds like it might help. I'm afraid if I take it to the CSM herself, it will lead to her taking it the wrong way and more trouble. The other CSMs here, except for maybe two that don't get a lot of shifts, don't take any of the cashiers seriously that stick to just their jobs. The ones who seem to actually get anywhere with their issues are the ones I'll overhear making plans with them after work.

I try to be as friendly as I can when I'm approached by the other cashiers and especially the CSMs, that's why I'm so lost as to where this whole thing is coming from. I work as hard as I can, and have even earned a small (like 75 cents) raise for it from my next up.

I don't know....if this doesn't work with my next up, I might just transfer over to the one that's almost finished being built a few minutes from my house, like one of the two CSMs suggested.

rae

Hm, this is a tough situation, as it doesn't seem like this person is interested in listening to you. If there is someone reasonable, then it may be helpful to bring it up as something you want do to to resolve the situation - asking for advice and such. "So-and-so says I'm being disrespectful, but I don't understand how. What is *your* perception of me? How do you act around her? Has she told you what her specific problem with me is?" You may find that you unknowingly do something that is off-putting... or you may find that that particular person is the only one who thinks that way.

On the other hand, a clique environment is really tough. It would be nice if everyone were only judged by their performance, but job culture is a real thing. Transferring closer to home may give you a fresh start where there isn't any history or bad blood.

I would have the same fears, going to the CSM herself. Walmart is a tough show. Huge workforce, impersonal and rigid systems, high turnover in staff. People don't take each other as seriously. People also don't take the job as seriously. Any Targets in your area?

Yes but this is in a way easier, R and I working at Walmart (He works in electronics). This way we could just ride in together. It's also the main issue at hand for why I can't leave Walmart. Due to extenuating circumstances, I haven't had the means until the very near future to obtain a license. Which means that conveniences like that became a more needed thing to work schedules around.

Ah. Yes. Transportation is always an issue.

I talked to my next up, and her assistant manager was in the room. I explained what happened, and they said they would talk to her and not to worry, I wouldn't get in trouble.

Isabel

I agree that you need to speak to the CM. First apologize and tell her you had no idea that you were being disrespectful or that a message had been sent. And that is not your intent. Then ask her for examples and even some "coaching". This should bring to light that you are not sending messages. Ask her if she will have coffee with you on a break and ask her to give you some advice. If she starts to feel that she has some skin in the game as your "mentor" she will be invested in you. It is so unfortunate that doing one's job is not enough. It has become like high school where there are cliques and gossiping. I am sorry about what you are going through.

You have to be very careful going "above her head".

Good for you (!)

You might consider a follow up "I'm sorry" conversation with that CSM, unless she's too much of a piece of work. Patch things up. But she sounds like a hen-party type and I don't know if that would get you anywhere. But any conversation you have should be one where you say "sorry." Right or wrong, fair or not, she feels put upon in some way and you can be sorry for that. That can help.

I probably wouldn't bother tho. Let sleeping dogs lie.

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