bold colors = attention seeking? - YouLookFab Forum

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bold colors = attention seeking?

cyan45

happy thanksgiving everyone! hope you enjoyed spending time with loved ones and delicious food

yesterday i had an interesting convo with my future SIL re coats. i was wearing my true red, single breasted knee length nine west wool coat (aka the party coat!), and she ruefully exclaimed:

SIL : "i'd love to wear a bright green coat, but am afraid i'd draw too much attention to myself!"
me: (puts arm around her, playfully replies): "honey, that's the POINT!!!"

then it got me thinking...i was wearing a b&w polka dot dress (fiance preferred it), canary yellow silky scarf, thin sparkly gold bangles, and a bright red coat. everyone else (aside from future MIL) was wearing dark and/or muted/neutral colored clothes...

i DID stick out! was it because:

1) i want attention
2) i like bold colors
3) i feel happy/confident

probably #3 & #2, but as a result also #1.

i know we've talked about personal neutrals (even prints such as stripes, polka dots and animal print)...for sure YLF has helped increase my risk taking, creativity and confidence i wonder if for some, one's neutrals are another one's risky, stress inducing plunge into boldness?

in a way, i have a feeling i also use bold colors/prints/combos to compensate in other ways (sometimes i feel quite shy, wearing bolder clothing may distract from my very small bust size, i do not have a loud voice/personality, etc...)

i'm not sure what my point was, but i'd love to hear your thoughts/feeling on the matter!

another thought...(for those of you with SO's or re people you tend to attract): does your personality/clothing choice tend to parallel or contrast with the other person?
for example, i enjoy wearing bold clothing, and my (more reserved, conservative) fiance rather likes it. i am the weird one who experiments, and he is happy to wear jeans and a t-shirt every day...OTOH he could just be an average guy, lol...

anyway, i'm so thankful for angie and you YLF ladies for all of your insights, fashion tips and encouragement!

Dressing

21 replies

Latest reply was from crwilson

Queen Mum

Veteran

I've never looked at someone wearing bright colors and thought that they were looking for attention.
I have however looked at many a gal wearing obscenely form fitting, outrageous, age inappropriate, etc, outfits, and had that very thought.

Mo

(website)

Veteran

I'm with QM. It's often the choice of item more than the color itself. But I suppose you can't really wear a bright green coat and not expect to at least get noticed in the sea of dark neutrals.

cyan45

one more interesting comment:

my fiance's aunt commented on my bracelets: "i usually don't like blingy things, but these bracelets are very thin and i like them." i wasn't sure if my entire ensemble choice was a complete bomb...but at least i felt happy, and isn't that the point?

later that evening we watched an awesome interview with charlie rose and diane keaton. she was wearing an fantastic hat, thin black turtleneck (with thumb holes!), an earthy, multi-colored vest and caramel eyeglass frames. charlie rose asked her why she wore the hat, and diane keaton replied, "because i feel it frames my face well,
and it makes me feel good/confident."

if diane keaton can buck convention and wear what makes her feel the most confident, surely the rest of us can too!

so if my outfit totally bombed yesterday, and least i went down in flames! ;D my fiance liked it, and that's all that matters to me...it also hid the post-thanksgiving tummy bulge quite nicely too.

Anonymous

I want to see the outfit! Have you posted and I just missed it?

I love bright colors (even though I don't wear them a lot) but i do wear other things that sort of stand out a bit... mix patterns, bold jewelry etc... I enjoy fashion and putting things together that I am drawn to, which means sometimes there is a lot going on...

... for me fashion isn't just about following trends, really, anyone could do that... it's about wearing things you love, when you love your clothing, it shows on the outside... I think comments from others about clothing is just as much about the confidence you are showing as the clothing itself.

I agree with QM.... to me, overly tight, revealing says that more so than bright colors...

Sounds like you are doing it all just right for you and are a bright star when you enter a room!

Kyle

Veteran

Don't agree that wearing bright colors means a person wants attention. But not wanting to wear bright colors may indeed signal someone who does not want attention. Interesting, eh?

I tend to not overanalyze these things. Some people are comfortable wearing bright colors....others are not.

Your outfit sounds fab.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

I share Kim's perspective.

I wear VERY bright colours - and have done so my whole life. But I wear a lot of black, white, grey and cream too. It makes me happy because for me, they are happy colours.

It's a stylistic preference to wear bright and bold colours, or high contrasting neutrals. It doesn't make you more or less stylish, or more or less flashy - you are just wearing what you like and what makes you feel fabulous.

Greg's happy colours are black and grey.

I'm also Dutch. And wearing colour is part of the culture. Dutch men don't think twice about wearing pink, red, purple, red, orange and yellow. It's completely "normal".

Our house is full of bright and colourful objects too - because they make me smile! Not because they are attention seeking. I feel the same way about people who wear bright and bold outfits.

I don't know if I've answered your question?

cyan45

here is an idea of what i wore. my first (and bare bones) attempt @ polyvore this is fun!

http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=39951746

angie, you make total sense!
kyle, thanks! i always enjoy seeing your WIW pics for inspiration...
k2butter, i agree
mo + queen mum, good point. glad to know i didn't veer into dubious intentions...

rae

(website)

Veteran

In the past, I did feel that wearing bright colors brought too much attention - but now I suspect that I just felt conspicuous because I was in the *wrong* colors in the wrong styles. I feel perfectly comfortable wearing lime, citron, red, and orange now - but I think I would still conspicuous and attention-grabbing in bright pants or say, a very ruffly dress. When you are uncomfortable, you feel like you stand out more, whether you do or not.

Anonymous

Certain people look so much better in bright colors, so why should they be "penalized" as seeking attention? When I was shopping with Rae, for example, she was looking for something orange. It was amazing to see how the brighter shades looked so terrific on her and the paler, tamer hues completely washed her out.

I am completely the opposite. I'm not *afraid* of color (check out the bag I just dyed!), I just have to be careful or it will wear me, and it will be the only thing you notice. I'm not trying to hide or blend in when I wear grey and other neutrals, I just know that the softer shades are so much kinder to my complexion. Your outfit polyvore is brilliant, and judging from your profile picture, I'm sure you looked just amazing in it. Opposites attract, so maybe your love of bright color is one of the things that drew your fiance to you.

cheryle (Dianthus)

(website)

Veteran

I think we place far too many restrictions on ourselves and others. I wear a lot of bright colors but also wear a lot of neutrals. I rarely do pastels or muted colors because they aren't as nice on me. I feel that I look brighter and in turn feel more confident in my color. I actually felt more attention seeking (not the intent) when I wore my B&W outfit with the cap to my friend's B-day party.

Everyone should feel free to wear the colors that make them happy.

Freckles

Veteran

Not at all.

Some colours just make us feel happier than others be they black or royal blue or grey.

Variety is the spice of life.

Transcona Shannon

Veteran

I've never thought of wearing bright colours as seeking attention, but rather wearing bright colours shows confidence.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Going back to your SIL's original comment: She would love to wear bright colours but is afraid she would draw too much attention to herself.

I wonder what she really meant?

Did she meant something like what Claire (or I) might mean, i.e. the bright colours would wear HER, rather than the other way around?

Or did she mean that she wouldn't know how to handle the compliments she might receive for looking good?

I have never thought that people wearing bright colours were trying to draw attention to themselves, or that people wearing neutrals were trying to hide their light. On the other hand, colour does communicate. Someone wearing yellow will give at least some impression of cheerfulness. Someone wearing a monochromatic neutrals look will appear calm.

Your outfit looks wonderful and fun, and I'm sure you looked terrific in it!

I hope you told your SIL about YLF and invited her to have some fun with fashion!

Sveta

(website)

Veteran

I like your polyvore adn would wear the same outfit in a heartbeat.
Here is what I think: most of people who wear bright colors do it because they love them and these colors make them happy. It means these people have certain personalities - not everybody feels comfortable with bright colors - either in clothing, house decor or anything else. "Bright color" personality means that they do not mind the attention - not seeking it but can endure it, not afraid of it.
I don't know if this makes sense...but this is true for me: colors make me happy, I don't seek the attention but I am not afraid of it!

Ana

(website)

Veteran

Maybe your SIL is just shy and she thinks if she wore bright colors that lots of people might look at her or possibly even talk to her.

velvetychocolate

Veteran

I think your outfit from the polyvore example looks gorgeous! Also, do you think it's possible that your future SIL and fiance's aunt were complimenting you? Sounds like they love your style and that SIL wants to wear a green coat, and seeing you in your red coat got her thinking about it again.

Hmm...I'm one of those people who would never wear bright colours (still working on that), but I would love a blue, red, green, purple or other non-black/non-grey coat. I'm still looking...found a red one that I quite liked at Talbots last weekend, but didn't buy it. It wasn't quite the 'right' red (seemed a bit too orange-y on me). Ended up buying a smoke grey coat and an olive green coat yesterday, but I think I'll be taking them back.

Meanwhile, I have a funny feeling that fiance's family loved your outfit. I don't know how much time you spend with future SIL, but one of these days - you two should go green coat shopping - just for fun. Or get her some green gloves or scarf or other accessory as a gift sometime. What do you think?

Just a thought

I'd assume from the comment about the coat: "Wow...I'd love to wear a green coat, but I'm nervous about it...I really admire you in your red coat..." or something along those lines, rather than thinking that your outfit "bombed".

Probably related to the overall nervousness/getting to know you stuff related to new family members when you're getting married.

Kate

Veteran

Cyan45, I loved your Polyvore recreation of your outfit. You must have looked smashing.

Whenever I see someone beautifully dressed, especially wearing bright colors, it perks me up and brings a smile to my face. Thanks for brightening the landscape!

Other women's attention to their wardrobe and their obvious pleasure in the outcome, also makes me want to create attractive outfits for myself.

Ana

(website)

Veteran

I agree with velvetychocolate. I got the same impression from what you quoted your fiancee's family members as saying.

Refugee

Veteran

I think comments like these are often a person's way of opening up the fashion conversation. I've had lots of really fun conversations that started out with someone saying, 'I could never wear what you're wearing.' I jump on the opportunity to chat about what they like, fashion in general, shopping. I never cease to be amazed how these little comments can turn into a conversation that ends up becoming a way to really get to know a lot about someone.

cheryl

Veteran

I love your polyvore and i'm sure you looked wonderful. I love brights/color and i wear them because they make me happy, not because i am looking for attention. I have a grass green pea coat and a hot pink with bright orange lining puffy coat. Winter is drab enough i want some color to perk me up. I remember back in junior high/high school i had this bright blue hawaiin shirt with palm trees. Very bright, very busy and i would wear that on the dreariest most rainy days because it was like a ray of sunshine to me. Keep enjoying your colors and maybe sil will come out of her color shell, lol.

crwilson

Veteran

I think this is a really interesting thread. I too think that your fiancee's family was complimenting your outfit and your confidence.

As for whether bright colors draw attention - yes, they do, but I don't think that people who wear bright colors necessarily do so because they want attention. I've recently come to the realization that while I love bright colors and flashy color combinations on other people, and I love decorating with pretty rich colors, I do not, in fact, feel personally comfortable when I'm wearing really bright colors. Partly this may be due to bright colors not actually being that flattering for me, and part of it is personality. It's taken me awhile to realize, though, that there are certain pieces in my closet that I love the color of but don't often wear, and that this is because I just don't feel comfortable in that bright of a color. I thought because I like bright colors in and of themselves - and I love them on other people - that I would want to wear them; now I've figured out that that's not actually the case.