Body image and fashion...and a big thanks! - YouLookFab Forum

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Body image and fashion...and a big thanks!

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I've only recently started reading fashion blogs, even though I've always enjoyed clothes and shopping (and I love Project Runway!). I especially appreciate this warm and welcoming community here at YLF, and I think Angie deserves a world of thanks for building this.

Since I started reading the fashion blogs (Already Pretty, Kasmira's, and Sarah's blogs are among my favorites), I have been working on stepping out of my comfort zone, and taking a closer look at how I mix things and accessorize. Bottom line is, I'm putting more thought into dressing than I have in a long while. It takes me a little longer to get dressed in the morning, but I think that will get better as I find more winning combinations.

One surprising thing has been what I'm gaining from taking photos of my outfits. I have not always been kind to myself when it comes to body image, so turning the camera on myself is not something I embrace. When someone points a camera at me, I always joke, "there's a reason I'm a photographer--I belong *behind* the camera, not in front of it!"

Taking pictures of my outfits is helping me become kinder to my body. Even though I've heard it on WNTW a thousand times, I need to be reminded that if something doesn't look good, it's not because there's something wrong with me, it's just not the right garment or styling for my body.

Perhaps it's no coincidence that I've just signed on to run a half marathon in June, even though I'm 45 and I've never run in my life. I'm only a week and a half into training, but appreciating what my body can do (regardless of what it weighs or what it looks like) is truly liberating. It may seem a small thing to an accomplished runner, but I'm ecstatic that I can maintain a 2-min walk/2-min run pace for 5 miles.

OK, I'm rambling now, but was just musing over these thoughts as I drank my coffee and read the forum this morning and wanted to share. I'm off to do my two miles!

General

17 replies

Latest reply was from Isabel

thimblelina

(website)

Veteran

Great post! I share many of these same feelings with you... makes me look forward to some fierce fashion at 50 and beyond!

I thought your post was really well written and heartfelt... I will look for you around the forum.

Warm regards... L.

Anonymous

Wise words, Janet, and I'm looking forward to your posts. Take care of that body.

FoolOfATook

Great post Janet!

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Thanks for the insight, epiphanies and gratitude, Janet

Carole

Veteran

I can completely relate to your frame of mind, Janet! Now, if I can just try to emulate your enthusiasm for exercise..that is impressive!

Kappy

Veteran

Good luck with your training!

Mo

(website)

Veteran

Janet, good luck in your coming race! I just did my first half 2 weeks ago. I run but was a late bloomer and didn't start until I was 37. It is fabulous to appreciate what your body can *do* more than just how it *looks*. I agree that taking an objective look through pictures is an eye opening experience. We're never too old to grow and learn

catgirl

Veteran

Great post Janet! I've committed to a half-marathon this summer as well. I've done one before, but not since having my son, and I do not love running, but I want to feel the energy I did when I was exercising at that level. I now look back and realize all my self-criticism totally overshadowed the fact that I looked pretty darn good back then. My body has changed a lot, but I don't want to make that same mistake of focusing on the negative for the rest of my life. Thanks for such inspiring and thoughtful words...

Ornella

(website)

Veteran

Janet, you are my hero! OK, half-hero, since it's 'only' half-marathon

You are right about changing body image and being less critical about ourselves. I have never been 100% at peace with my body, but then again I have never thought of it as my enemy either. I believe that dressing it incorrectly or wrongly actually was the major factor for that lack of accepting myself, since I've spent most of my life wearing things that were primarily long enough and happy that i managed to find at least that. It's was a strange world I lived in and clothes were only serving the purpose of keeping me warm in a way. Don't get me wrong though, I was never scruffy, being tidy and what we call here on YLF polished was, in a hindsight, major drive for how I presented myself dress-wise and I did have nice pieces of clothing, but having little choice did make a dent my love of clothing myself.

Learning a few rules about what works and what doesn't, as well as learning to be patient until I find what I really like and what ticks the main boxes at least, had made a major difference in my approach to dressing. It was one of my 'research and learn' browsing sessions that led me to YLF and I had simply stayed here. I still haven't fully worked out what is it that makes this place work, but I too am noticing that I am not at war with my wardrobe, I hug my wardrobe as Michelle had nicely put it and that I am accepting myself the way I am. I actually stood in front of the mirror the other day and said to myself that I'm insane if I ever think I should look different. I have what I've been given, so I might as well try and make the most of it. I am a challenge, a puzzle that needs to be solved wardrobe-wise.
It took me ages to pluck the courage and post the photos of my outfits, but I have reaped massive benefits from it only. I am no longer making small steps, but strides in the style world compared to before and I cannot recognize myself. I don't remember the last time I walked out of the shop upset because things don't fit or look bad but I have no idea why - I now either go for what I know has good chances to work or just move on. It may be a bit daft to draw major conclusions or wisdom from the changed shopping experience, but I do and it's simply a guideline how to act in many other areas of my life. I think it's much easier to transfer clear ideas of what we want into the areas we need to work on, if we already know that we can achieve that balance and clarity in some other parts of our lives.

One thing I always respected though is human body as such and what it does. It is my wish to channel that respect into something tangible some day and get a qualification for a type of body therapy, but it involves commitment I currently don't have capacity for.

And it is my wish to run marathon one day, which is more realistic, so reading stories like yours is extremely motivating and inspiring.

Marley

Veteran

Janet - great post and thank you for sharing! Way to go for commiting to the half-marathon - I promise you, the training and actual race day experience will change your life!

MsMary

Veteran

Janet and Ornella, I couldn't agree more! As somebody who always ran away from the camera, I've found it so liberating to actually take my picture every day and (mostly) like what I see! Too bad I had to wait 50-plus years to feel this way!

My hat is off to all you runners! I am starting to do a little running at boot camp, and I have to admit I'm still in the "I totally hate running and it makes me want to cry" stage! LOL

Aunty

Veteran

I so agree about not blaming yourself if something doe's not fit. I have many times gone home thinking my body must be a very strange shape, then found clothes that are the right cut for me and look good. My body didn't change!!
Good luck with the running. I would love to have a go, but dancer's hip's say no.

Ornella

(website)

Veteran

MaryK, my personal biggest challenge in wanting to run a marathon one day is to overcome my dislike of running and the fact I totally hated running before and wanted to cry. I deeply believe that mental challenge of running, in my case, is far bigger than actual physical one.

Aunty, you're spot on with "what's wrong with my shape" puzzles. What a waste of time. Forum member Astrid won me over when she appeared here with one of her first posts in which she wrote how she tried to diet so she could have different body shape that she could clothe better, until she realized the approach does not make sense. So young and so wise!

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Nobody is more surprised than me that I'm running now! I have never run before. I'm not very athletic -- I was always more of a bookworm type. I do enjoy swimming, cycling, and hiking, but wrote off running as something only "athletic" people did.

In the last couple of years, since my mom passed away, I've been letting go of old notions of what I am and am not. My mom was a wonderful mother and a beautiful person inside and out, but her life was full of "I can't." I grew up parroting those same ideas, but over time, I have gotten tired of restricting myself. I love a challenge! In the past, my challenges have been mostly of the creative or intellectual kind (I could easily embrace the life of a perpetual student), but so far I'm loving this physical challenge just as much.

Jonesy

Veteran

What a wonderful post to read, Janet! Thanks for sharing this. I agree about finding your own way, and taking a moment to really ponder what it is that *you* want and are capable of.

I just read this article about self-compassion in the NY Times that somehow seems relevant, if anyone is interested:

http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/.....ref=health

Sheila

Veteran

Bravo, Janet, and thanks also to Ornella for such honest, insightful posts. What wonderful revelations you bring to us... they are a gift to my soul.

@ Jonesy, just read the article you linked and wow, I recognized myself...so thanks to you all for giving me many things to mull over today.

Isabel

Veteran

I echo sheila ! What wonderful and heartfelt posts. Thank you for putting yourselves out there. I don't think that it is coincidental. I think that this is such a warm, accepting, loving community that it reshapes our views of ourselves. It is really hard to dislike oneself when everyone here cheers you on !