Black and white are not my friends...which colors have fallen out of favor with you? - YouLookFab Forum

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Black and white are not my friends...which colors have fallen out of favor with you?

nancylee

Veteran

Black and white have never been my best colors, but I've noticed lately that they are even less flattering on me than even one year ago. As I move into my 50s, my warmish soft/neutral coloring looks even harsher when paired with these two colors. I'm much better off with ivory/cream and soft browns or blues as my neutrals. Still, black and white are so incredibly useful! I can't imagine a wardrobe that doesn't contain any black or white, so I'm just being more strategic about how I wear these colors. Black is usually reserved for bottoms (I have several pair of black trousers and two black skirts), and when I wear it near my face I try to soften it with a scarf or necklace in a more flattering tone. And I usually reserve white blouses/tees for layering beneath more flattering toppers.

Have you recently realized (for any reason) that a certain color just isn't your friend? If so, are you avoiding it altogether or wearing it more strategically?

Dressing

24 replies

Latest reply was from Molly L-R

Anonymous

Try black and white with more or less contrast than usual. I've found as I've gotten older that strong contrast can overpower, but narrower B&W stripes, for example, can still work. From a little distance they blend.
Your colors change. I used to wear lots of jewel tones but fewer of them look good now. The ones that do need to be clear, not greyed.
I love deep reds and they used to be a backbone of my wardrobe. Now I have none but would consider it for a bottom piece away from the face.
You will find, at the same time, new-to-you colors will turn up as flattering.
ETA: about black... If you let your hair go grey, you can probably wear a soft black again. There are different shades of black and that becomes an important consideration. Optic white is the same way. Not so good next to an older face if it makes teeth and whites of the eyes look greyed or yellow. Soft whites are easier to wear but not as "bright". I like wearing them on the bottom.

Lantana

Veteran

Red in all its hues has been all but banished. It was hard to let it go because it used to look good on me.
Ah, the ravages of time.
I have kept a brick red mohair sweater and a tomato red merino pea coat, but I am warm not happy when I wear them.
On the up side, grey and white are my new best friends.

nancylee

Veteran

Joy, thanks for the advice on trying less contrast with black and white. I hadn't though of that, but I can see how it would soften the extreme nature of these two colors. I'm finding that grayed colors are less flattering, too. I just replaced a grayed navy top with a navy top that is closer to ink blue.

Lantana, thanks for pointing out that you can get new friends when your old ones leave you!

Jules

Veteran

I love the graphic black and white trend but it's so so harsh on me. I found some pieces in navy/dark blue and softer whites (off white or sheer white for example) and those are much prettier. It's not the same effect but I look much better.

Krista

Veteran

I can no longer do brown very well, particularly when it's close to my face. I have very dark brown hair with a white streak over my right eye which is a striking contrast and I find that high contrast, clear hues are much more appropriate for me than softer/neutral hues. That being said, occasionally I do wear softer colours because I'm in the mood, I just don't give myself a hard time about not looking "as good" in them.

Aziraphale

Veteran

I have to be careful with black and white too, Nancy. For years I didn't wear white shirts because I thought they washed me out. I've learned that small doses of white can look great, though -- like a white collar and cuffs underneath a merino sweater, for example. Or a white tee under a blazer.

I haven't noticed any specific colour is suddenly not my friend, but then, I am so restrained when it comes to colour anyway. What I have noticed, though, is that certain colours are particularly good. For example, I recently discovered that olive (army green) is "my colour". I guess I'd only ever worn it on my bottom half. But about a year ago I tried on an olive dress, and up against my face, it's a really good colour for me. So I'm learning all the time!

Sveta

(website)

Veteran

I am in the opposite camp now: after I got my hair darker I can wear black and optic white easier than before.
Ink blue is a very good substitute for black: too bad it is not asreadily available as black!

Helena

Veteran

hi, i am definitely going through this - black used to be my absolute go-to, now it's okay but falls flat. i am slowly substituting navy. i'm finding it hard to feel great about color lately - the bolds i used to wear are harsh; the soft colors are drab. my no-fail is medium blue at the moment. it's hard to transition from the tried-and-true ... although i guess it does force one to evolve!

Anonymous

Actually I am just like you Nancy. I only have tiny bits of black in items of clothing and only possess 1 pair of black footwear. I also prefer a slightly off white next to my face. Though I love my white jeans. To be honest though I have always been like this and have never been able to wear very sharp acidic tones of colour or indeed cool tones.

Irene

Veteran

I was once clueless about my coloring and use to buy stuff that didn't work for me (color wise). Then I lost weight and those clothes went to the 'to give away' pile. But my mom is no give-awayer (lol) so she rescued them and made them work. She has a similar coloring to mine, so you will wonder, how? She has a great scarf collection. That's it.

Just today I paired a pair of red pants with a white sleeveless shirt. A floral scarf with a white background and red roses made it perfect (I think).

I do the same with black, which really does look awful on me.

nancylee

Veteran

Jules, the navy or ink blue substitute for black is definitely a good one.

Sveta, so interesting about your hair color change and the effect it had on wearing black and white. It isn't just age that can change our colors!

Aziraphale, it sounds like our coloring is similar. I've recently discovered olive/army green for myself, too!

torontogirl, a lot of what I used to rely on isn't working for me either, but it is forcing me to evolve as you said. Not necessarily a bad thing.

Diane, I think you are a Soft Autumn like me. I have to admit that I've only recently discovered my better colors..so part of my letting go of black and white is age-related and part is just my growing understanding of what works for me.

Irene, the old scarf trick! I have tons of them myself and rely on them totally to make my white shirts work for me.

unfrumped

Veteran

I've had very similar shifts. White has never been my color for a full shirt or even jacket but bits of white are a different story--so dittto collar, or a white T under a jacket works.

Black & white aren't good and even black & white prints not as good as ones that have some gradation of color.

Red is harder and I'm interested to hear that from others, too. It is technically a good color for me, and I never used to pay any attention to what kind of red, but now stay away from very bright reds. Interestingly soft rust reds can work.

The scarf trick is a good one, but scarves can be problematic at work, sometimes too much stuffage, so I have used a shirt collar instead. In fact I've kept several nice collared blouses because of the great colors that can be used under a black pullover or cardigan to soften the look.

Never thought I would wear blue, but finally figured out some blues have all the advantages of gray with the added benefit of ...color! I "discovered" teal and now am looking for more of the right shades of it. With the blues, the color and depth matters a lot and I'm trying remind myself to be picky.

Anonymous

Yep, me to Nancy. I can do a soft white pretty well, but black, especially a saturated black is best softened with some skin at the neckline or a scarf. I have a black tuxedo jacket with a low stance that allows a lot of the blouse underneath to show, so that works. Black velvet and certain other fabrics look "super black" and I have to stay away from them completely. Sometimes the right kind of texture can make the black look softer, like charcoal.

I'm not sure I could ever do completely without black, because, like you said, it is so useful (and readily available). I know I've said this before but with my hair transitioning to grey, I feel like there are a whole lot of color-colors that I used to be able to depend on that just don't look right on me anymore. That's one of the reasons I'm gravitating to neutrals for the time being. But the best neutrals for me are not black and white, and not black and white prints either. I need soft, muted, blurred edges. Shades like blue-grey, ink, taupe and charcoal. Maybe that's why I've gone a little crazy for natural snake prints!

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

I have definitely noticed a change since I like my hair grow in. It is now both lighter and darker than before. I find I don't like the strong teals I used to always love and soft blue is my new best friend.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

I dyed my hair red for a while in my 30s. All of a sudden I loathed myself in black. Chocolate brown became my best friend! It has never been a bad colour for me, but then, it was one of my best.

Black's pretty strong for me, but I can get away with it, in doses, with the right complements. Charcoal is better. But blue is best of all!

I expect my colours to change a bit as I grey, but they will remain cool toned. I'll probably veer more to grey vs. taupe in the long run. But time will tell.

rachylou

Veteran

The autumn shades are not my friend. I stopped going into Dress Barn because of that.

sarah

Veteran

I'm very off black these days. Honestly, I find it impossible to wear (which is making it difficult to find a new fall coat).

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I have a hard time imagining ever giving up black and white! But my coloring is much more high-contrast than yours.

Beige, tan, and brown have all but disappeared from my wardrobe. I much prefer my neutrals in the black-grey-blue families.

DonnaF

Veteran

I've never been able to wear deep black since my once black hair was more brown black. Now that it is natural, charcoal gray is more flattering than flat black, and I love black and white prints. As I phase out solid black pieces, I am replacing them with charcoal; black and white; black/charcoal and gray; and gray pieces. It feels right.

Mo

(website)

Veteran

Ditto Janet.

deb

Veteran

Brown is no longer in my closet and I am finding it more difficult to wear any red but cranberry.

nancylee

Veteran

It sounds like a lot of us struggle with pure black. It's a shame it's too strong for many of us since (as Claire noted) it's so useful!

Unfrumped, Donna, Mo, Janet, Sarah, Rachy...thanks for weighing in with your latest un-favorite colors...and new favs.

Claire, Shevia, Suz, Donna, it's so interesting to learn how our hair (its color or length/style) can affect our color choices. Claire, your decision to go with neutrals while your hair is in transition makes perfect sense to me.

Lisa

Veteran

Blue is my primary base and I am trying to add more purples to the mix. Browns, I do like them, but they work best as footwear or a handbag for me so I'm keeping them there.

Molly L-R

I had a similar a-ha moment last year. For about five years previously I'd worn very little apart from black, white and cherry red. I used to get told all the time that I looked ill and was I feeling alright? I never thought to make a link to the colours I was wearing - I just assumed I was destined always to look sickly.

Then I had a major fashion meltdown where nothing in my wardrobe was working for me and I was prepared to try anything. So desperate was I that I turned to the autumnal colours that I'd shunned for about 20 years. And you know what? They brought my face to life! They warmed up my complexion and for the first time in my life I looked healthy! I now have nothing black or white in my wardrobe. Nothing. Zip. Nada. Nor denim. And only one pair of grey shoes. It's really not as hard as you'd think; you just have to get creative. For example, you need to shift your thinking about what neutrals are. Of course, my go to neutral is dark brown, with some tan and navy in the mix. But in my world, khaki, burgundy, bronze and leopard print are all neutrals too.