Congratulations to your husband Jenn. Not commuting to work will be a great relief.

Mr SF and I had a long distance relationship a couple of times. We were within a couple of hours driving range so we could see each other on weekends. The last two years I worked (about six years ago) Mr SF lived in the house we bought for our retirement. We were about three hours apart. We talked on the phone almost every night and saw each other on the weekends. He found the time during the week more difficult than I did. I was working and during my off time, I might do something fun but rarely. He was looking after our dog and living in a new place that was very rural. (I don't recommend doing what we did but that is another topic.)
It was helpful to talk on the phone at a regular time every night (have some sort of routine) and to see each other as much as possible. We also knew that this was temporary.

Mr. SF #1 and I were often apart for long periods of time. His job required him to travel and he might be gone for up to six months. I wouldn't see him at all and in the 80s and 90s phone calls were not as common as they are now. Also, he might not be able to call. Those separations were difficult and I realized I needed to find ways to keep myself occupied but also keep the relationship intact. Having access to things like emails, blogs, Skype, etc. makes the later a lot easier.

Greyscale and Joy, I did actually look into the residency requirements when this first became a possibility and it seems like he would be an edge case, not really covered by the published requirements. I'm not sure if he'll end up applying to any CA schools, but the good news is that, even as a Colorado resident, he'd be eligible for WUE and wouldn't be paying full out-of-state tuition.

Cost of living calculators say housing is around 80% higher than Denver, but realistically we're expecting 2-3x higher, since we don't currently live in the city. That will definitely be a shock, but one we took into account when evaluating the job offer.

Thank you all for sharing your experiences and advice. I am reading and learning from it all!

Congrats to your husband! It's exciting, but also stressful, I know. The time will fly by, and helps that it's finite -- you know you will ultimately be moving there with him, which should be easier than the open-ended limbo we find ourselves in.

My husband and I have been dealing with his sporadic Maryland/Texas residence for a couple of years now. We are working on solving this (we are sponsoring a man from Mexico and his family to immigrate to the States where he will work as our ranch manager and live on the ranch with his family, but it is a long, arduous, stressful, expensive process), but in the meantime, it means Jamie is in Texas for stretches of time. I join him from time to time, but we don't currently have a really predictable schedule, since ranching is not a predictable business -- everything is at the mercy of mother nature.

I do agree that checking in with each other every day is necessary -- text, phone, FaceTime -- whatever works for you. If you can make short trips to go visit him, or vice versa, that's awesome -- take advantage of that opportunity if time and budget allow.

One thing I will note is that spending so much time apart has made us treat our time together as a more special thing. We tend to "celebrate" more now that our time together is more rare and precious. That's a wonderful thing in many ways, but it also means we tend to slack off on things like healthy eating and watching our restaurant and travel budget, because hey, we're celebrating finally being together! So be aware that can be a by-product of separation.

Also, remember that all the usual tasks of home-keeping will fall on you in your husband's absence, regardless of whether you or husband have been doing them. Allow yourself more time and kindness for things that slip through the cracks or have to go undone for longer than you would prefer. This can be really frustrating (like the week our garage door stopped working and we had a plumbing leak and an emergency vet visit...), but hopefully this will not be much of a burden on you.

Best of luck!

Hey Jenn. My husband and I did this for about a year. I tried to treat it as an adventure. Really it was a tremendous privilege to fly out of my city every weekend to see him. I come from a not-so-privileged background so flying to another city every weekend seemed very glamorous to me and I tried to enjoy that aspect. (It was lucky that it was for a finite period, however. I am sure it would eventually have worn thin.) He would come back about once a month. I also used the time away from him to work a lot more (I am sure my employer appreciated that, ha ha!) and to spend more time with friends and family.
Anyhow, congratulations on the (eventual) move! I might even get to meet you one day because hubs and I are considering California as our next holiday destination (hopefully without nasty illnesses).

I'm so encouraged by how many of you have done this. It's feeling less daunting now. Janet, I was just thinking about the household chores. There are things Kevin does (paying monthly bills, sweeping the floors, cleaning the litter box) that I rarely even think about. If nothing else, I'll have to be more aware!

Brooklyn, I love your perspective! I came from a less-privileged background as well, and a lot of the moves my family made were precipitated by significant personal and financial stress. It's good to remember that this relocation is downright luxurious as such things go. I'd love to meet you, if we're both in California at the same time. What fun!

I was long distance with my husband (prior to kids) for years, and I hated it BUT that was intercontinental and YEARS. In any case we managed. We spoke on the phone every day during my commute home, which took around an hour, in addition to writing emails. A lot of couples asked how we managed and then questioned if they really even spent an hour talking to their partner in a day. And I find that to be an accurate observation. When you are apart it forces you to make an active choice how to maintain and sustain your relationship, which can be a positive thing. Given that it is only 8 or 9 months and you will both have so much going on, it sounds doable, and, dare I say, exciting for the new adventure aspect of it. Maybe that is partly my perspective at the moment since I haven’t been able to travel much in the last few years.

Also, regarding sweeping, you might consider a Roomba

Suz, even without long distance, I am taking notes on your former weekend routine for just regular chaotic life with little kids

Congratulations on your husbands new job. My husband and I lived apart twice. The first time was back in the early 90's. He had a job assignment in Tokyo and we all moved there I had an infant and a three year old. After a year I was very unhappy and could not take advantage of all that the country had to offer and my husband worked non stop. we made the decision for me to move back to the USA 4 months before his assignment ended . We didn't have Skype or much internet back then so we did daily phone calls , it was hard as the children were little and high maintenance but we managed. A year or so later we were apart as my husband had job assigmnent in London, we lived there for a year . By then we had another infant so three children. I came home early so the older two could start school in September he came home about three months later. Talking every day really helped and now with face time and emails I'm sure it will be much easier . Good luck

Scarlet, your Roomba suggestion is brilliant! And I do kind of see this as an adventure. It has been helping to talk about the new location as "our apartment in Burbank" rather than just a landing place for him over the next nine months. Makes me remember that this is a new chapter for BOTH of us.

Gail, I can barely even imagine how hard that must have been with small children! When my husband and I were engaged, we lived in different states, about 800 miles apart, and I remember how, back then (in the mid-90s) even talking on the phone represented a huge financial burden. I'm so glad those times are over!

Congratulations - how exciting!
So much good advice for you from everyone else already. I just wanted to chime in with my Aunty's advice that living apart is the secret to a long and happy marriage!
(A different situation to yours, though, she lived in town with school aged kids, and he on the farm) So it can certainly work, and you know there's an end in sight. All the best!

Wow, it all sounds very exciting!
My hubby and I have a shared home in one city, but he works 3 days per week in another city, so he flies out Monday night and comes home Thursday night (and works at home the other two days). It's worked really well for 4 years but it's wearing thin now for him, and he will finish up soon I think. We have a 13 yo son, too.
I think it's good you have a finite date for ending this - I'd treat it like an adventure, and enjoy the mini breaks in both cities!
We do speak multiple times a day on the phone. I usually ring him on my way to work, and we always speak at night. Sometimes we will touch base in the middle of the day via messenger or phone if something is happening, but always morning and night.
I don't know if boys are all that communicative on the phone - mine is not that chatty, and is happy just to know dad is on the other end of the line talking to me. I think he thinks he's too old and cool to Skype, lol. But it doesn't seem to bother either of them, so I don't let it bother me either!
Overall, I think you just need to work out what works for you - and try different things. We got into a really good rhythm for a long time.

Thinking of you , Jenn, and hope all is going well. You have lots going on

Thanks, Joy! We meet with the relocation coordinator this afternoon. Should be interesting!