Being fat and working at Anthropologie - YouLookFab Forum

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Being fat and working at Anthropologie

marianna

Veteran

I hope this doesn't come off as whiny. I am seeking a bit of advice...

I have discovered that working at Anthropologie and being plus-size is very very mentally difficult. I was folding a pair of size 24 jeans the other day and honestly, I have never in my life seen something so small. It came as a huge realization to me that I am MUCH bigger than all my co-workers, as well as the customers of the store.

On Wednesday we're having an employee-only shopping day. Before the store opens to the public, we have the store to ourselves to go shopping and buy clothes to wear to work. We're not required to wear Anthro clothes, but we need to look Anthro and it is very clear that we're expected to be very dressed up and very stylish.

On Wednesday they're also asking the employees to try on all the denim we sell so we can learn the fit and then make knowledgeable suggestions to customers. I can't participate in this activity because I am too large.

So I am in a bit of a tough situation here because I can't wear most of what I am selling. I may be able to fit into a loose fitting cardi or top, but that's pretty much it.

My plan of action was to simply stock up on big statement necklaces. I know a necklace won't make my outfit, but at least I will have something Anthro on. But aside from that, I don't know what to do. I can and will obviously buy clothing in my size that resembles Anthro, but what else can I do to look more Anthro? What should I tell my managers when/if they ask me why I'm not trying on the denim with the rest of the staff?

I can't even wear Anthro shoes because of my gigantic shoe size.

I bought this skirt yesterday because it really resembles something we're selling: http://www.sensiblystyled.com/.....nim-skirt/

I suppose I am just seeking suggestions for what I can do to look more Anthropologie without wearing their clothes? I am searching for a few sweater dresses and I was thinking that if I wear basic frocks with a big Anthro necklace, textured tights and boots I might be okay.

What else can I do? (Besides lose weight instantaneously.)

General

29 replies

Latest reply was from Ginger

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

That's a really cute skirt, Marianna.
I've been in the same situation in the past- working at a clothing store where I didn't fit into much of what I was selling. Honestly, I realize now that it was a much bigger deal to me than anyone else that I was working with. They didn't judge me on my size- in fact it never really occured to them. I had a regional manager that was larger than I was and so was in the same boat. I think you have the right attitude- buy/wear what you can from your store and dress for work in a similar fashion to what you're selling. I would talk to the manager before the denim try on thing happens- just so they know. They hired you at the size you are now, so it can't be a problem for them.

Michelle

(website)

Veteran

Khris is absolutely right. Anthro managers knew all about the fashion demands made on their staff when they were hiring for this location, and clearly they thought you were up to the challenge (if not, you wouldn't be working there). That said, I know how demoralizing this can feel and sympathize with you 100 per cent. I sincerely hope your bosses will be understanding on Wednesday, especially when it comes to the denim issue. If they aren't, though, I'd advise you to start looking for somethint else. No salary is worth sacrificing your mental health and/or developing an inferiority complex.

And remember, lots of people both on and off this forum think you're fabulous and stylish, without even accounting for your marvellous personality!

I'm still here to cheer-lead your weight loss efforts if you decide to go that route. My own hard-core regimen has started today.

marianna

Veteran

Thanks ladies. I am leaving for work now and will comment in more detail tonight.

Louise

Veteran

Darling Marianna please don't call yourself fat you are beautifully proportioned. The anthro manager obviously didn't see any problem or they wouldn't have employed you. You have such wonderful style any store should be proud to have you working there x

Lee Hovey

I wanted to echo what Louise said, because honestly when I saw the subject line, before I even opened the whole thread I said out loud... "Oh shut it, you aren't fat, marianna!" Seriously... I did.

You are gorgeous with a fabulous sense of style. I think that skirt will look great on you and sets you on the right track! I would just continue to keep your eyes open for style that fit the aesthetic. Also, if you feel comfortable with any of your managers I would just discuss it with them. Voice your concerns and get their take on the situation. That way they are aware that you understand their expectations, and you can feel comfortable that they have heard your concerns and can be supportive of you. Communication is always the best policy I think.

Maya

Veteran

Oh Marianna, I am a size 4 and even I can't look at a pair of size 24 jeans without some ugly thoughts coming to mind. I'm sure you already know this, but realistically you could never be that tiny at your height unless you were built like a runway model. I, on the other hand, am small-boned and petite, so I can't help but feel that I really should be a size 24 or 25. It's hard for me not to have that feeling nagging at me when I see those super tiny clothes, but I do my best to just ignore it and refocus, and I encourage you to do the same even though I know it's hard.

Obviously they didn't care about your size when they hired you, so you shouldn't care either. They hired you because of your fabulous style and personality. I am a very average size at Anthro and I didn't get hired either time I applied, so I assure you being small means NOTHING to them and it should mean nothing to you. As Khris said, no one else probably even notices or cares.

As for where to shop, I know I had mentioned this and you were a bit reluctant, but I have honestly had clothes from Forever 21 mistaken for Anthropologie. I know they're a lot cheaper and the quality won't be outstanding, but it's all in how you wear it. A friend of mine decided to try the Faith 21 line and really liked it. I love the skirt you posted. It's gorgeous and very Anthro. I would just stock up on accessories at Anthro. You can keep your modern classic style and perk it up with necklaces, scarves, rings, headbands, etc.

Anyway, when I see you I am always struck by how much presence you have. I feel like if you entered a room, you would immediately command attention not because of your "size" but because of your height and how you seem to carry yourself in your pictures. A mousey person like me, on the other hand, doesn't get a first glance let alone a second! So remember that and take advantage of it! It is your gift.

malcontent

I agree with the others. I know it must be uncomfortable not to fit most of the clothes, but you obviously fit the look or you wouldn't have been hired. Besides, as a larger, taller woman myself I'm glad when I see stylish non-petite employees at the stores I frequent. When there is no size diversity amongst the employees, a store feels much less welcoming.

I've been shopping at Anthropologie for about eleven years now and my weight has ranged over 50 pounds in that time. However, even at my smallest (26" waist) I never would have been able to fit into the type of trendy denim that Anthropologie carries. My hips have been 40" or more since I turned sixteen and it is simply impossible for me to wear straight-cut or even "curvy" premium denim lines because of my wide-set hipbones combined with full thighs and bottom. It has nothing to do with being fat or not; it comes down to having a body type that is both curvy and decidedly robust even when I am thin. I'm sorry that these jeans are making you feel badly about your figure, since I'm guessing they are cut for women who naturally have a different body type than you do.

Mojo Riley

Marianna- I just wanted to chime in to say that you're so lovely and have such a fabulous sense of style- which (in addition to what I'm sure is a fantastic personality) is why they hired you!

I can understand the frustration with not being able to it into some of the styles they carry, but such is life, you know? I will be waiting to hear what happens with the denim situation, but would wager that it will be a total non-issue. As for how YOU feel about it, be proud and be fearless! Buy what you can buy from there, and don't give a second thought as to what you can't fit into.

I also second the above comment about customers being relieved to see salespeople of different sizes. I always feel more comfortable when I see the whole beautiful range of body types in a store.

Anyhow, good luck and chin up! Let us know how it goes!

agrace

I agree with what was said - the managers obviously did not have a problem with it or they wouldn't have hired you. I have been frequenting our local Anthropologie and I can tell you, I would only notice your fabulous sense of style if I saw you on the floor.

I love your idea of getting some statement necklaces b/c those will last you forever and go with so many things. I'm about a size 8 and I cannot fit into a lot of the size M stuff there. The sizes are kind of limited.

Best of luck, stylish lady that you are!

Misia

Veteran

Hold your head high girl,you are gorgeous!
I LOVE that ruffle denim skirt you bought,can you model it for us!

garmenta

When you work at retail, there are a couple of things you can do to be successful. One is to look drop dead stylish; another is to know what you're selling; still another is to be sensitive to what customers really want and need, no matter how they're shaped.

Marianna, you are so well put together that I envy your sense of style, size 2P that I am. I'm inspired by your sense of color, proportion, fit and what works for you. It helps me define my own style, even though I'm shaped and built very differently.

Another part of retail success is to know the merchandise the store has to offer. If you're knowledgeable, customers will immediately see it. It's a big advantage to be able to understand the merchandise and how it fits together and how it might suit a particular individual.

Yet another part of retail success is being sensitive to the customer who's before you. What does she really want or need? What is her body shape and type? How can the store's merchandise really work for her? If you're a good listener and good observer, you're well equipped to answer those questions.

If all Anthropologie wanted was "the look," they'd have mannequins and not salespeople. They need people to sell the merchandise--not just through personal style, but through knowledge and empathy. If you can do that, and make the cash register ring, they will appreciate you all the more.

shiny

Veteran

What garmenta said: I also admire and envy your style. I also envy your HEIGHT!! I never think the word "fat" when I see your pics. You are drop-dead gorgeous, Marianna, with the Presence (yes with a capital P) of a movie star.

When everyone is trying on the denim, you CAN participate. By demonstrating what you know about fit, and making lots of observations and suggestions. Everyone else is going to be over-focused on how they look in the jeans. You will have the freedom to focus on showing management you know your stuff.

(Then when you get into management, you can get them to expand their line to offer sizing for a variety of people! Including me.... their pants fit me funky -they may offer size 24 but they are not designed for petites).

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Such wise words from the lasses.

My dear Marianna, you have the BEST attitude. Apart from being a super stylish gal, your fabulous way of thinking shines right through – and it’s probably one of the reasons you get on so well with our fabulous Michelle.

From the bottom of my heart you know that I believe that style is beyond size. Elegance, beauty and grace is not the number on a dress. You’ll run style circles around many of the employees at Anthro – that’s why you won the TJ Maxx competition! Also, you have fashion forum experience and that confidence will surface without any effort at all.

So here’s a curve ball: do you have to dress Anthro -ish? For example, the outfits that were highlighted in the TJ Maxx competition recently are KILLER. I don’t see why you can’t wear those?

marianna

Veteran

Thanks so much for all your kind words and great advice. I went to work today in sort of a funk, but oddly enough I received numerous compliments on my outfit and that perked me up. I suppose it's true that they wouldn't have hired me if my size was an issue. I just hope I'm not the one fat girl they hired in order to have size diversity... because I am the only big girl there. But I guess it doesn't matter. Honestly, when I am wearing an outfit I feel confident in, I can overlook the fact that I am bigger than everyone else. I just want to make sure I am dressed sort of Anthro so at least I fit in that way... like today!

I can't wait to buy tons of fun accessories with my employee discount.

Maya - Faith 21 is actually pretty great. I have checked it out and bought a few pieces. It's just a trek to get to, but it could be worth it. Thanks for the reminder.

Shiny - I hope to never get into retail management.

Angie - I do feel like I need to dress Anthro-ish. The guidelines are that you need to wear clothes that Anthro would sell and that an Anthro customer would purchase. And everyone who works there dresses 100% Anthropologie... so the pressure is there. I'm obviously not going to makeover my whole closet to look like an Anthro model, but I want to make sure I reflect the company in some way.

Everyone - THANK YOU!

RoseandJoan

Veteran

Please repeat this mantra three times a day

"I DESPERATELY want her to start her own blog because she has some of the best apple-shaped style I believe I've ever seen."

Anthropologie may only be a short term fix but I expect you will have amazing sales. Just think of all of the knowledge on body shape you have garnered from the blog and apply it. You will look your usual fabulous self and be an asset to the company.

Maya, my cat Domino chased a little mouse into the house yesterday and I can assure you it received full attention.

Maya

Veteran

Oh the irony. I have been trying to get my cat to pay attention to me all day and she just can't be bothered.

Vani

Veteran

Marianna, I really don't have much to add to what all the fabulous ladies have already said. But I just want to add - if you were selling me something, anything, anywhere (fashion-related of course, lol), I would buy it in a heartbeat. I guess that is what most customers look for - honest, unpretentious feedback from a warm, knowledgeable person. And you fit the bill to the T

taylor

Veteran

You are a beautiful, smart and stylish woman, hold your head high......they are lucky to have you:)

Laura

(website)

Veteran

Marianna, you know that KristenKP and I are just ready to pounce on that new Anthro store. We will pretend we haven't met (well true on my part at least) and rave LOUDLY about how stylish and fashionable and inspiring you are to us customers, and how you are making us want to buy everything in the store Deal?

velvetychocolate

Veteran

If I lived in your area, I'd come straight to you for advice and help while shopping for clothes. You have such style! I still think you should start up a blog sometime, when you get a chance.

Here's another thing to consider - you just never know what one of your potential clients might be experiencing re: body image issues.

Not to sort of hijack the thread, but I wanted to mention something to you. I have been at the high end of the plus sizes, and am now faced with trying to figure out where to shop, and I don't even know what size I am. Very tentative. Was in the mall last week, in a 'regular sized' clothing store, rummaging through a stack of pants on a table and the sales associate comes up and asks, "Can I help you find your size?" - and to be totally frank and honest about this, I felt like my face was on fire or something, because I truly didn't know what size to be looking for.

A few weeks ago, I went to Burlington Coat Factory - and this guy asked if I needed some help, so I said, "Do you have any trench coats?" Naturally all the trench coats were mixed into various racks, and weren't in any one particular area. I go off looking at other stuff, and the guy comes back with a trench coat in his hand. Size six. I said to him, "Oh, that would never fit me..."

It fit and I was shocked. I didn't buy it because it was black and not quite what I was looking for, but I am constantly grabbing wrong sizes. I feel very awkward too. Like I'm not supposed to be in certain stores or sections.

I have never even been into an Anthropologie store. Can't quite get myself to go into Ann Taylor yet either. Thing is - if I saw you there, looking all stylish and pretty - I'd come in and head straight for you. Because you'd "get it". Does that make sense?

You are very stylish and you really know your stuff. That is totally evident.

Meanwhile - have you ever noticed thin people working in the plus size stores or the plus size departments in dept. stores? I have. And they know their stuff too - they know their products, what fits and what flatters.

Personally, I would feel intimidated shopping in a store where everyone looked the same. I mean, I'm already intimidated as it is - but I'd be even more uncomfortable in a store where everyone had so-called 'perfect' figures and so on. In fact, I wouldn't even go in.

What if I were still plus-sized, and wanted to shop and buy a nice gift for someone? I would NOT go into a place where everyone looked the same. Maybe I want to buy a purse or a necklace? Or a gift for a friend.

Here's another example - there's a wonderful lady at the Lancome counter in a certain department store here in my town. She is maybe 20 or 30 years older than me - and has the most fabulous grey hair. She is just stunning, and very, very good at what she does. I have gotten the best help from her. She can instantly pick out just the right foundation makeup or just the right shade of lipstick for my colouring. She makes me feel comfortable too. Would you believe that I save up my shopping list for Lancome products and go to her? I could order stuff online...I could go somewhere else, but this woman has never steered me wrong, and I love her style and the way she is able to pick out just the right thing for me.

It's this kind of thing that I like so much about YLF - how *everyone* can look fabulous and enjoy being and feeling stylish. It's a chance to enjoy style beyond shape, age, budget or locale.

I bet you'll sell a ton of stuff. Like I said, I would come straight to you for advice if I wanted to buy some things at Anthropologie.

In the meantime - try not to feel weird about the size aspect. I have personally gotten some really good help with clothes shopping from thin people working in plus size stores. I appreciate the help - and the more diversity in a store, the more likely it is that I'll shop there.

Don't forget - they hired YOU.

Kristen

(website)

Veteran

What VC and everyone said; you've got a killer style of your own, and I am sure they hired you because of that. They WANT you to stand tall and be proud of yourself; it's what attracted them in the first place!

Now, onto the Employee Sales Day issue: I totally understand the frustration and potential embarrassment because you can't buy or try on most of the clothes. I was in the same boat when I was at F&T; even though they carried my size, it still looked totally different on me than it did on the smaller girls. I took those days that they all tried on the clothes as a group as an opportunity to see what a jean fit was supposed to look like on those smaller sizes, to listen to what they were saying about the fit, the gap in the back, etc -- and then I could use that info to sell it to the customers.

Then, for myself, I stocked up on purses, scarves, jewelry and any other accessories I could. Looking back, oh, how I wish I had bought MORE jewelry and scarves when I had the chance!

So that's my advice to you on handling Shopping Day.

Kristen

(website)

Veteran

VC, here is my advice about not knowing your size right now: do NOT be embarrassed by that, use it as a chance to let them help you, and to brag about your weight loss.

"Do you need help looking for a size?"
"Yes, I have no idea what size I am. I just lost XX pounds -- " (here is where they will gasp and congratulate you) " -- and I've never even been able to shop in this store before. I don't even know what size here would work for me." (here is where they will congratulate you again and start falling over themselves to find you sizes and things).

And if they don't do that, keep rummaging through piles of sweaters until the right salesperson does come by that will truly help you. And take 2-3 sizes with you into the dressing room; it's the only way you will learn what size is yours!

marianna

Veteran

Thanks again everyone!

Laura -- haha. Sounds like a plan.

Today is employee shopping day... we'll see how it goes! I have a few huge necklaces that I know I am getting already. So yummy... can't wait.

Gina

Member

I know this is an old post, but I'm in the same boat...starting next week! I actually joined this website to see this post! I'm so nervous but excited at the same time.

rachylou

Veteran

Congrats on your new job! You'll be working at Anthro? Or another place similar?

JaeRustia

(website)

Its all about embracing yourself ( I know it's a hard process especially if you are in that kind of environment where plus size women doesn't seem to fit, but you know there are a lot of ways, easier said than done, I know, I understand I am struggling myself)

There are a huge selection of online shops that sells clothes, you can look for one that fits your budget and your style, this isn't really much help, but yeah, hope it helps

lyn67

Veteran

Hah, beware this is a 6 yrs old thread, and true been said, since then Marianna lost weight but she was never FAT, either!!!

April

Veteran

Is Marianna around? I too remember this thread.

Miss you, Marianna!

Ginger

Veteran

Congratulations on the job, Gina! And welcome to YLF - it's a great place.