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Been nickel and diming myself again

Mo

(website)

Veteran

A quick review of my year's shopping so far shows mostly $10 - $25 range purchases. Several sub $10 things as well. ($300 leather pants not withstanding!) Nothing wrong with the dollar amounts in theory, except that they more often than not correlate to cheaper materials and/or construction. I've been feeling a bit underwhelmed by a lot of my summer stuff. This could well be why. Now, I know I won't wear fine silks to shuffle around in the heat and humidity on my bike to the pool or grocery store, but I can take a step up from $9.99 tops. Not surprisingly, I'm at about double the amount of items I'd imagined buying by now as well. It's fair to say the two go hand in hand for me: cheap = more.
When I recall or see a pic with items I felt good in, invariably they are more mid range in general, with maybe one lower end item, or conversely one high end item. Not extravagant by any means, but just a step above.
I'll still need my Target and Old Navy level stuff for the sweaty dirty summer bike commutes and lounging in the house doing chores, but I don't need more of this level stuff.
So, along with taking a step back from shopping for June and maybe July, I need to again refocus on less, and better quality, things. Along with that, I want to get into stores physically to see and feel and try on items first. I will always have to do a fair amount of online shopping simply due to the more remote places I live, but I can also make time to shop in person the times I go to the 'big city' every month or so.
As for upgrading, this beauty caught my eye. I could have skipped 10 'meh' shirts and instead have it. Since I didn't (argh) I will be stalking for sale time.

Bailey 44 'First and Ten' Zip Silk Front Top

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32 replies

Latest reply was from Mo

Aida

Veteran

Interesting observations. That silk blouse screams Mo, doesn't it?? Since you've got those cheaper items now, it's definitely worth thinking about which of them you'd be happier in a mid-range version of. Trying things on when you're around B&M stores is also really helpful, at the very least you can get certain things out of your system. Or into it, either way

Mo

(website)

Veteran

yes, Aida! I have to admit I went from a $7 Alloy white tank, to a $19 H&M version, to a $100 BCBG one on the way. Baby steps?? Indecision? Not getting the 'big ticket' one in the first place? All of the above? YES!
If I like the BCBG I will return the H&M, but still . . . at this point the cowl is just loungewear.

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Jen W

This is an issue I struggle with as well. I'm working on it, but it is a process. I've finally cut myself off from shopping at Old Navy and Target because it was too easy for me to spend more of my budget than I intended on lots of inexpensive items and then feel underwhelmed by my options once I was home in my closet. I'm trying to really focus on what the right item feels like and enjoying how it makes me feel as a way to shift my thinking. My newly fussy feet have helped in that regard. I need to spend a good amount of money on shoes now, but the way the right shoes feel is a revelation. It sounds like you've had a similar aha in regards to your summer wardrobe. Hope that top goes on sale soon for you!

Aida

Veteran

I think those three items illustrate your point really well actually. You can see a big difference across them, particularly in design elements (of course fabrication is tougher to gauge over the web). Would the price point of the BCBG limit its use, you think? It seems like the H&M one would take you the most places, but the design elements of the BCBG would always be a big draw.

Caro in Oz

Veteran

Interesting Mo. I don't have the answer either. I do know it isn't always the price for me but it is always the fabric, the cut & the design elements. The cheaper garment often doesn't stand up to scrutiny next to the dearer one. When it does I am truly a happy camper.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

This is a tough one, and I really sympathize because I think it's far more easy (and in a sense, justifiable) to fall into this pattern for summer clothing. After all, what is the point of buying high end when it will just get sweat stained or when it will be washed so often that it will inevitably wear out within the season? I don't have any answers. For myself, last year I bought most of my tops on sale once the season had started. (I ordered a bunch of others but sent most back). The one full priced item I bought -- and it seemed ridiculously pricey to me -- was a shell I needed for a special event. Well, guess what? I wore that shell more than any other top in the closet -- despite its high ticket price. And its CPW was ultimately equalized with the mid-range on-sale stuff.

But I don't think I could have brought myself to buy it at full price had I not had a special occasion emergency need for it.

Elizabeth P

Veteran

I hear you. I have a drawer full of Costco tees, because they are a "good deal". I do not need that many tees. But the $$ add up. I'd much rather have one or two new, drapey, linen or silk ones...

That red top is gorgeous. And it's interesting seeing the three white ones side by side. The quality difference is quite evident. Can't wait to see the BCBG on you!

Karie

(website)

Veteran

It's a hard lesson to learn, isn't it? And I find myself backsliding often! Like Caro, it's always about the fabric, cut, and design. But then sometimes (less and less actually) I'll go in to Old Navy and come out with one fab item and 10 "this will do" items. Ugh. At least now I keep the receipts, and turn around and take them back to the store.
Aida brings up a good point about the price point limiting an item's use. I was really concerned about this when I was at the Boston meet-up. I remarked to Angie and the other ladies that I wouldn't get much wear out of the white BCBG blazer (because it was white and expensive and I wouldn't want to chance getting it dirty). Well, I bought it and I wear it everywhere! And yes, it's been christened with both coffee and dirt, and both came out with a stain stick and my new best friend, my local dry cleaner. That said, if it's a day when I'm doing messy activities with the second graders, I certainly would wear my lower/mid range items and not the expensive stuff.

And that red moto vest is fab.

Isabel

Veteran

Mo, having shifted from a job in a major city to a SAHM in a small rural town, I think that part of the problem is really seeing how quality clothes will fit our lives. I couldn't picture it after I stopped working. Could it be the the casualness of our actual lifestyle my be under cutting you goal ? I mean, wearing silk to the grocery store ? It seemed like a major paradigm shift, you know ? Saving your good clothes for work and church. But then if work ones or your life becomes "casualized", there may be some cognitive dissonance. This may make no sense. : )

It really took me a while to go from , " who would where a $300 cashmere sweater to the produce aisle ? " to " I might as well wear my cashmere sweater to the produce aisle, it is chilly there. ".

carter

Veteran

Ugh. We've all done this (still do). Insanely frustrating, isn't it? I'm batting about 500 now, which is a vast improvement for me. But I still suck myself in with, "why would I pay more for the same thing?" Well, duh, it's not the same thing! I can afford full price for the quality item, but it just sticks in my craw to pay it. How ridiculous is that? I hope you find the "aha" answer (and share it!). Oh, and, given that you're on SYC through June or July, I'm hoping the red top goes on sale Aug 1!

Gigi

Veteran

This is a therapeutic post for me, Mo! Sometimes I feel guilty when I read your posts because you are always so good to stay on budget and get what you are looking for, while I spend quite a bit more money, still strike out looking for HEWIs, and say, "What budget?"

I'm very hard to fit, so I have no choice but to go to stores that are at least BR range. I guess that is a blessing in disguise, because that means that my clothes are always going to be pretty decent quality. I do think that cheap quality *feels* cheap on the body and will start to show itself rather quickly after a couple of wears or washes. Someone who is very in tune with fashion and enjoys dressing herself (i.e., you!) is probably going to be pretty sensitive to the inferior quality.

I'm glad you're getting the BCBG tank. I hope it looks awesome on you! It may very well prove to be one of those types of items that Suz described: expensive but worn many a time.

Debbie

Veteran

I can't wait to see that top on you.
I struggle with the issue of price in the summer way more than the fall. The last few summers I have branched out and surprisingly to me the dresses and tops that are mid range are making it through more than one season.
You will find a balance that works for you.

Mo

(website)

Veteran

Suz, Debbie, Isabel, you are right in that spending on summer wear seems extra difficult. And yet, there has to be that sweet spot where the quality is much improved while the items themselves are not unattainable or too precious for daily wear.
I'm beginning to see that rather than sweeping multi use in my closet, I need to compartmentalize just a bit more. A $9 tee makes sense to bike for my groceries in the heat. But it shouldn't be the fallback option in the closet for most summer activities or occasions. Why can't I have, and wear, a $100 tank if it elevates my other items and lasts me many seasons?

deb

Veteran

This is so 'you' but I wonder what part of the top is silk and what part is rayon.

Mo

(website)

Veteran

Front is silk, back is the rayon knit. I especially liked it styled over at Revolve. I can see it with my white jeans and my leather/suede pants for when I'm feeling particularly sassy. http://www.revolveclothing.com.....IL-WS1252/

rabbit

Veteran

I don't know the answer to this myself, because 90% of the time I buy clothes from off price retail or thrift, such that the retail sticker price is often at least 70% higher than what I paid. I really think this works best in BM stores though, even ordering from TJ Maxx online things have looked and fit very differently than in the photo and have been returned. But I do think I buy more than I need because of the low prices and that creates it's own problems. Also high price don't necessarily correlate with natural materials anymore. I think that when the retail price starts out very inexpensive, that can be a good indication that the quality won't hold up, but not always.

ETA: I don't have many things with the original retail price of that blouse though, and when I do, like you say, they are the pieces I often end up holding onto over time (or am afraid to wear in the first place so return within the time window). Sometimes when I look at my Old Navy pieces and wonder 'why did I buy this again?' I remember that I was testing out a trend or color or shape, and I didn't know that it would be something I'd want in more lasting or higher end formulations after it passed the test run.

rute

Veteran

Very interesting, yesterday I was thinking that at Massimo Dutti, their stuff is not expensive, but it looks so, I need to regain my focus and shop less, but better items, I've done that and we do feel better with the wardrobe!

fuzzylogic

Veteran

I really like the way you continuously review and assess your wardrobe, Mo! It prompts me to do the same!
I gravitate towards mid range brands and pieces- I appreciate well cut pieces in nice fabrics but I don't want to be precious about actually wearing them.

Deborah

Veteran

Mo I think this a road many of us travel. After many many mistakes I think I am finally able to be satisfied with less items but better quality. Today I had a browse at one of our cheaper shops.. Really felt like buying a little something new (know that feeling?) but nothing was good enough! Once I would have been tempted to forgo quality to just have, say, a cute new top but I just can't do it anymore. Having said that, I have found items in the same shop that have cost me $12 that no one believes I bought there because the fabric and cut is not typical of the store (i.e. It appears to a much higher quality garment).
Quality can be found at a variety of price points, it's just locating it:)

crutcher

Veteran

I'm having the same feelings...I have a closet of summer tops bought on the lower end of the style chain...Target mostly...These are perfect to wear in all weather, conditions, and throw in the washer...For the heat and humidity, I have just not seen the need to spend more for a similar top...
ClearlyClaire has influence my closet and made me want to have less and spend more...Not as minimalist as hers because it is hers but more quality than quantity.....
Baby steps...

Anonymous

I love your posts and I eagerly wait for each follow up. I adore the red and the BCBG tops. Both are gorgeous.

As always, you have many good points. I find that I hate my summer capsules for exactly the reason you mention. Due to the heat and frequent laundering, I opt to buy cheaper versions of things. They look cheap. They feel cheap and I don't feel great wearing them. I am making an effort to upgrade my summer capsule for this exact reason. This means identifying those pieces in my wardrobe that I do wear a lot and then trying to find better quality items of those pieces. I'll have a smaller, but well curated summer wardrobe. I think it will make me happier.

Zibbets

Veteran

Great food for thought!
I struggle with shelling out a lot for summer things that I know will take a beating with sweat and frequent washings, but cheap clothes are never worth it.

Mo

(website)

Veteran

I woke up thinking I wanted to amend to say that cheaper isn't in any way bad. I love, love, love my $5 Old Navy drapey white tee and have had it over 3 years now. Also, I buy all higher end things on sale. Always. The trap was going back to "I'll just get this, it's under $10 and fills the hole" instead of going "wow, this is great! And under $10? Perfect."
There is something to be said about finding that sweet spot, though, for me. I can easily find clothing too precious for actual wear and tear in my head. This is particularly true in summer heat. I will have to monitor where this threshold actually lies. I don't mind white pants or tops, even on my bike, so it's not exactly logical that certain fabrics (I'm looking at you, silk) seem way too nice for my life.
One last little tidbit, that isn't so much about shopping, but about wearing some of your things: BF has subtly talked me out of wearing a dress to run errands a few times lately. I think he doesn't get daytime dresses and in his head they're 'fancy'. I am going to ignore him next time, nod my head, and put on my dress!

texstyle

(website)

Veteran

I feel like I haven't been buying things for the lower price nearly as much, but I still hedge on spending more than a certain amount on "everyday" things for some reason. Or if I spend more (like a recent linen sweater) I feel like it's for a special event and not meant for everyday. Problem is I have plenty of items like that for casual "special" events.

Part of this may be due to the need to treat some things extra gentle when washing. And where I live it's way too windy and dusty most of the time to try to line dry things outdoors so they have to hang indoors.

I think it takes me a while to own a slightly higher end item before I feel comfortable "risking" it to *my* everyday life. I'm so bad I even do it with belts, saying to myself "Is it okay to wear this belt while I'm going out to the garden to grab some basil for dinner?" And for lighter colored items, it's even more of a question in my mind.

That said, some of my higher end tees and knits have not held up all that well to everyday - so then I question why I spent extra $$ for something that was not suited well to my life. I don't want to buy and wear only gear just because I'm a little active day to day.

Overall I'm doing much better and trying to make rational choices. I really hear you Mo on what your BF was saying - and I agree that you gotta just wear your darn clothes sometimes! Now if I will practice that myself I'll be happier.

Anonymous

Having thought about your post most this morning, I decided to purchase one pair of silk slacks for work (as opposed to multiple cheaper pairs that "would be nothing special, but would be ok"). Thanks for giving me food for thought.

Mo

(website)

Veteran

Sterling, that's awesome! I do again want to reiterate that there is a place in my wardrobe for some of the lower end, less precious things. I just had slid back into the bargain hunter mindset for everything without even realizing it, at the expense of quality.

Laura (rhubarbgirl)

(website)

Veteran

I've given up expecting cost to correlate with quality. Leaving aside thrifting/secondhand stuff, which complicates things, even so I've got cheap (money wise) stuff that looks great and lasts and lasts, and expensive things that wears out quickly or looks cheap.

Given that, I don't know what my approach should be. I'm willing to spend more but if it doesn't get me stuff that's any better, what's the point?

Anonymous

Laura -- You do raise a good point. I buy for quality and you can find wonderful quality in some less expensive items. I have also looked at designer products that were so cheaply made that I doubted they last even two weeks.

I look at each piece individually and measure it through a spectrum of differ filters. Mo's thread spoke to me because I too had fallen into the trap of buying lesser expensive pieces that were meh. And they made me feel meh.

This struck home for me when I viewed Mo's white top side by side. Although all three were nice, it was obvious to me that the third top would have made me feel happier. I decided I would like to be that person that buys the third top. I hope this makes sense.

JayS

Veteran

This thread really resonates with me. I've put my toes into the higher end water, but I think there is a sweet spot between higher/lower end items that I haven't found yet. For some items, I just can't wear them without thinking of cost. Even though I love said item, I'm just not comfortable wearing it..I adjust what I order at restaurants, take it to cleaners across town to insure quality cleaning, etc. I've decided it just isn't worth it mentally. I've been looking for the sweet spot where I can find quality materials and workmenship, but at a cost that doesn't cause me to obsess over it. I haven't found it yet...I'm a bargain hunter at heart and struggle with the more is better mindset. So, for me it's still a work in progress.
The red silk blouse..love, love, love it. I could also see that working for you in several seasons. A cream blazer would take it into fall/spring. And you could wear the blazer with that awesome BCBG top...out on the town. Not just for lounging anymore

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