Balancing practical with authentic. A SIMPAT deep think...

Jenn

Interesting! For me, it's quite the opposite. I don't feel authentic unless I'm wearing something that's practical for me. Could you come up with an example of something you might want to wear that's authentic but not practical, and vice versa?

3 years ago

Roxanna

Veteran

I completely get this. What feels authentic to me is tailored, luxe, amazing fabric, sophisticated, distinctive, and layered. Pandemic style is anything but. I have tried to find semi-tailored. polished pieces in athleisure so that they still feel like me despite not wearing what I would truly wear if I had no kids and an inexhaustible dry cleaning budget

3 years ago

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

I have a hard time distinguishing between those. I wouldn't want to wear something that wasn't practical. See my run-for-the-train requirement for footwear. I flexed that a little for this summer's slides--but I did recently slip them off, run for a streeetcar and board it with them in my hand. The ease with which I can take them off lets them slide under the rope into that category for me.

Things that are authentic for me are tailored, made of good fabric (usually natural, although tech fabrics can be comfortable), have interesting details (that lurking quirk), and I wear layers when it's cool enough. I don't see any reason these things can't be practical. The opposites--tight, constrictive fit or yards of loose, baggy, flowing fabric, fabric that is uncomfortable &/or requires dry cleaning, or showy ornamentation and things like big collars or sleeves that get in the way--are neither "me" nor practical.

3 years ago

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Like Roxanna, I feel at odds with my preferred style during this time of extreme practicality.

Summer has always been a time when I had to compromise on my style, and this summer is an even more extreme case, but at least not much of anyone sees me these days. It’s 95 degrees with oppressive humidity, and we are in the middle of a pandemic. My preferred style would be encapsulated by an outfit like this: a great leather jacket layered over an easy blouse, with full length bootcut jeans, kickass boots, and accessorized with items like a distinctive bag, patterned scarf, and statement ring. There is not one thing in that ensemble that comes near what I am wearing these days. These times are all about compromise, and my style has taken a nosedive for sure. I can’t even have great hair right now. So at the moment, I have no balance between those elements. It just is what it is right now.

3 years ago

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

Janet, a jacket, boots, and jeans aren't practical for the heat, but what else about that outfit seems impractical to you? Genuinely curious, because it sounds like what I'd describe to illustrate an eminently practical outfit.

3 years ago

Anonymous

Authentic and practical just do not happen in the same sentence in summer heat. For me, I mean. Very little of what I wear in the summer is flattering, or makes me feel good about myself . As Janet said, it is what it is and I'm over worrying about it. I'm able to exercise this option better in fall and winter, where my fondness for athletic style (I won't call it athleisure) is perfect for practicality and feeling absolutely authentic at the same time .

3 years ago

Anonymous

Aside from the days I leave my neighborhood, and occasionally into town too, I'm wearing just gear. Now you all know that under normal circumstances I'm Mrs dressy- skirt/dress, heels, full makeup even on weekends. Seems a 180 turnaround.

What makes my 2020 gear style authentic-ish is: I'm wearing my colors, choosing skorts instead of shorts, and still wearing some makeup. More importantly, I feel more authentic on the inside since I've been wfh and can spend more time outside. My quieter style reflects my current simpler life. I do love my dressy things, but expected them to make up for a lot.

3 years ago

Liesbeth

Veteran

Interesting that you of all people should say that, as from your pictures of your adventurer style I always thought you looked both practical and authentic. Like I would aspire to for my casual style. I do get it though; I feel a bit schizophrenic sometimes (exacerbated by the lockdown) because at this point my work clothes, that always felt more intentional and 'me', have started to feel inauthentic. Like 'what am I doung, playing dress up in polyester dress pants. But then again I am currently struggling with feeling bland just because circumstances are making life quite unsexy at the moment. Interested to hear others weigh in.

3 years ago

Runcarla

Veteran

Light bulb moment! NOW I get why I didn’t feel completely comfortable in a conservative work uniform, and felt more myself in my post retirement wardrobe! My ‘authentic’ self eschews structure, hard lines, and crispness - and embraces soft, weathered, and casual elements. It’s actually more where I place on a continuum, because I do have some structured garments, and things like shirt detailing (button downs and shirt dresses) and tailoring (trench coats) that are a part of my authentic style.

Pandemic lifestyle hasn’t adversely affected my comfort with my clothes. I’m feeling pretty authentic in what is imminently practical ATM.

3 years ago

unfrumped

Veteran

I get this for sure. And I agree with the heat issue.
I wonder if maybe people who wear dresses and sandals well— ix-nay on both, for me—can balance things pretty well with an assortment of those.

My “ authentic style” was heavily skewed toward my work wardrobe for so long, based on a lot of tailored pants in fabrics like tropical wools- which gave drape but wore well, not limp or wrinkly— and sturdier knit tops, on the warmer side, lot of wool even for 8 mos of year.

But, I did/ do have a kind of authentic casual style as well, which is a kind of balance between outdoor/ sport items and everyday items in washable fabrics, and often real running or training shoes —not because I’m such an athlete but because I often get better fit Longer shorts, woven shorts and pants fabrics, not much jeans( in summer. The biggest issue is not settling for poor fit — saggy here or there, too tight here, wrong curve to the legline in pants or shorts, or poorly fitting necklines, sleeves, wrong lengths in tops.
A lot of these items are still practical but seem harder to acquire for some reason.

3 years ago

nemosmom

Veteran

Janet/Lisa - I totally get what you are saying. Summer is a PITA for me to dress for, even under non-pandemic circumstances. I don't really like dresses or shorts which eliminates 90% (or more) of summer attire for me. And with the pandemic still out-of-control here, I rarely leave home. That will likely eliminate the need to wear a large portion of my boots, outerwear, and accessories (my favorite pieces) this fall/winter.

FI - interesting. Maybe I am too high-maintenance for my lifestyle

Roxanna/Jenn - you may be on to something. I need to figure out "my" version of practical. Without toppers and accessories to add that feeling of ME to an outfit, my day-to-day pieces feel dull and uninteresting. Hmm...

3 years ago

Roxanna

Veteran

@nemosmom - I realized with the help of Fabbers on another thread about my style avatars that my main avatars worked well for me for at work style, but I needed another avatar for weekend style (which has become pandemic style.) It still has to fit my moniker of Urban Luxe, but Urban Luxe means something very different to me when i'm running around with the kids on weekends than it does when I'm in the boardroom. The avatar I came up with was "NYC Yoga teacher off duty", which has been serving me well for my sophisticated athleisure look during pandemic - and it still feels authentic to me, just in a different way.

3 years ago

unfrumped

Veteran

This issue also is part of what I think I of as “ overlap garments”, or translation, or, reincarnation of an item into a new lifestyle. Sometimes, there is not that connection.

Versus— “ if my tropical wool high waisted wide leg pants and boots with slight heel came back as casual wear , what would that look like?”
— wide - leg high waisted cotton track pants worn long over my chunkiest tennis shoes.
Or such as that.

3 years ago

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

Heat is hard to deal with, for sure! The forum's help in dealing with it in another climate amazed me.

Nemo, I don't understand your comment to me. What are the things that feel authentic to you that you find impractical?

3 years ago

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Oh....this has long been an issue for me. In my case, the weather that interfered with my preferred or aspirational style was not summer, but WINTER. Argh. I won't even go into it all now. Dressing authentically or in a way that matched my style aspirations for my walking lifestyle in Ontario was difficult.

Then I moved west, and voila -- no problem! My style was in its happiest place. What felt authentic was also, practical, and vice versa.

Now -- pandemic hits, and I am back at square one. I spend my days at home, hiking, or gardening. Or working from my chair on a laptop. These are fine pursuits but the style of dress that's practical is much less dressy, structured, and uh, elegant than what feels most authentic to me.

I have no answers, yet, except for a style evolution. I think what suntiger suggests is really the way to go -- figure out your new roles, how you need to dress for those, devise capsules for them that incorporate elements of your authentic or aspirational style. And accept that this is the new reality.

3 years ago

nemosmom

Veteran

Suntiger - I can see how shifting where you spend your time would dictate what is practical; difficult to SUP in heels, but if anyone could do it, I bet it's you! I think it's a great takeaway that you added gear in YOUR colors to make it authentic for you... when I spent last summer in gear out (at rainy/muddy soccer games out of practicality), I hated it. Maybe I need some more thinking here...

Liesbeth - life is VERY unsexy at the moment. I feel like I need to UP my casual game somehow...

Carla - I can see how conservative corporate attire would feel too stiff for what I associate with you. You are rocking retired life and I love following your style.

unfrumped - fit is definitely key. Especially when it comes to casual clothes.

Roxanna - YES! I went through the avatar exercise a while back. I remember creating a dressy/special occasion avatar, a winter, and a summer. I need to go back through and see what I can distill from them.

3 years ago

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Nemosmom, climate, lifestyle, and to some extent your environmental norms, can absolutely deter one from dressing authentically. It's a balance we have to manage. I would dress my most authentically in Southern California. It has the perfect weather for my sartorial preferences. Not all the rain and cold in Seattle

That said, I'm with Jenn too. I don't feel authentic unless I'm comfortable and practically turned out. Hence sneakers almost daily for my walking lifestyle with doggie in tow, skirts and dresses that flow and move, hands-free crossbody bags, and a short practical 'do. Maybe you are dressing more authentically than you thought! Or your style has evolved from what you thought it was.

3 years ago

Runcarla

Veteran

Scribbling away in my style journal...

@suntiger - every word you wrote above is brilliant, especially that last line: “I do love my dressy things, but expected them to make up for a lot.”

3 years ago

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Carla, that is so interesting about your retirement style being closer to your authentic self. Makes sense. Mind you, I expect very few people feel their most authentic in very strict business attire. Doesn't leave much room for creativity and fun. Although it has relaxed over the years in most fields, I guess...

I think what's "authentic" is changing for me and I just haven't adjusted to the change yet. Will have to do some musing...

3 years ago

nemosmom

Veteran

FI - Jackets and other toppers come to mind. I used to wear them into the ground before I left SF. I wore them indoors for arctic A/C and outdoors for my very walkable OTG lifestyle. These days, there is no practical reason to wear them. I am home, working while family is sleeping, or taking care of the house/kids and catching up on work during the day. I fight with my beloved jeans when I sit at a desk all night. Shoes and bags I can live without. But, not my jackets.

Suz - yes, a relocation can definitely throw a wrench in things. And, being parked at a desk at home doesn't help me look or feel fab. Acceptance is hard. Maybe I am just fighting that too much...

Angie - you are right (as always)! I think I am dressing more practically now, but suspect when I acquired my practical pieces, they weren't necessarily those that I pre-qualified as authentic.

I wonder how much of the whole "shadow persona"
factors into my frustration. I WANT to look far more fun/happy than I am these days. But how to do that in a practical way? Hmm. More thinking needed...

Thank you everyone for chiming in as I wrestle with this!

3 years ago

SarahD8

Veteran

I relate to this a lot, nemosmom, and it's something I've struggled with since long before the pandemic hit. In my case I feel that my authentic style tends to be quite detailed and layered (esp in cold seasons -- unlike some on the thread I find summer dressing SO much easier): a subtly patterned top, a cardi, a scarf to add an additional pattern, maybe even a necklace too. Maximal but not loud, iykwim. Well. All of that is just fussy and absurd for working from home. I'm going to sit there alone in my house and eat my reheated soup for lunch wearing my silk scarf????

I did manage to address this a little bit (with my super-simple formula of skinnies/sweater tunic/a little bit of jewelry) but I'm not sure I really solved the issue fully. I think part of the problem is that my *lifestyle* is not authentic to me in a certain sense. Now, this is all a bit first-world problems and such, and I'm not saying we should all just whine and decide it's not resolvable and give up. But especially with the pandemic, I think it bears acknowledging that this is a hard way to live! We can do our best to make the best of it while also acknowledging that it is hard.

3 years ago

Suz

(website)

Veteran

SarahDB, so with you on that. It's hard, even for those who have it "easy." It has changed our fashion needs along with so much else and it is just not easy to adjust. I am mulling on it now, though, thanks to this thread. Thanks for that, Nemosmom!

3 years ago

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Nemosmom, however you are dressing now - in this pandemic and especially in the US where things are at its worst - is more than good enough! To SarahD8's point - it's a hard way to live at the moment, and it's okay to acknowledge that. Give yourself a style boost and permission over the weekend - and wear what is less practical and more fun. You are allowed to do that

(Shadow styles can be both inspirational - and unhelpful if they exude an imaginary lifestyle. Tricky one).

SarahD8, HIGH FIVE. I find Summer dressing very easy too. I like the heat, dresses/skirts, and not wearing layers. Maybe we need to move to SoCal.

Suz, sounds like you need to go back to dressy Saturday night date nights at home with Mr. Suz!

3 years ago

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Angie, I'm thinking exactly on that line! At home "date nights" and a few other adjustments. Because otherwise, I feel a bit bereft of my nice things!

3 years ago

nemosmom

Veteran

SarahD8- I chuckled at your silk scarf comment. I think you are dead right about the lifestyle being inauthentic; not necessarily the clothes. It *is* hard (and I’m trying not to whine)!

Angie - thank you for reminding me to cut myself some slack.

High five, Suz!

3 years ago

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Suz, there you go! Maybe we need a Date Night At Home challenge

Nemosmom, I thought of something else. YOUR INCREDIBLE FAMILY COSTUMES. You need Halloween once a month!

3 years ago

Helena

Veteran

Nemosmom, you know I can relate to this! Your comment about the toppers is so relatable to me ... when one has simple style, it's the 'finishing pieces' that add the personality ... but with nowhere to go, those pieces don't have a real place (and don't even get me started on when the winter weather hits lol).

I don't have a solution here, but I feel your pain. I think that if there is ever a time for total self-compassion it is now! And I do find that jewellery can made a bit difference, as well as taking a little extra time on hair and makeup. Jeans + tee + hair done + lip gloss is a whole different equation than, say jeans + tee + bad mom-bun + did I remove all my mascara properly yesterday?? undereye smudges xx

3 years ago

rachylou

Veteran

I definitely feel this in summer, on those super super hot days. On those days, I wear cotton sundresses with full skirts or A-line cotton skirts. Both of these looks are just a little too sweet for me, the sundresses especially. If I could find a cotton pencil sundress, I'd be all over it.

In winter, it's not so obvious, but I'd love to a shawl-collar puffy... however, a shawl collar is too drafty for me. And adding a scarf to fill the neckline in is too fussy for me. I know! It's pathetic!

3 years ago

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

As long as I have some errand to do, and I find one every day, I try to dress authentically yet practically every day even in the heat. This means shoes that both are interesting and flat, tops in breathable materials with interesting patterns or design details, cross body bag that works with said top, and, typically, knee length bottoms of some sort. Which is not to say I wouldn't dress differently in a different climate or life situation, but authentic comprises my reality (as I see it).

3 years ago

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