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Bad shape

lorgreen30

Member

Hi please can you help. I'm a 32 year old single mum and hate my body and its impossible to find something that makes me look nice and feels comfortable. I have really slim toned legs, narrow hips and virtually no bum although my tummy looks like I'm pregnant and I have horrible E cup boobs that is a nightmare to find tops that fit properly. Any clothes I buy is either too tight at the top and jeans always sag of my hips and bum. I would love to start dating but have no confidence with my body shape I look as though someone has taken two different size woman cut them in half swapped them and stuck them hideously together again. I just have no idea what to wear that compliments my uneven body.

Please please help I'm still young but dress and feel like an old farmers wife (all due respect to farmers wives).

Thanks you Lauren

Dressing

14 replies

Latest reply was from Angie

catgirl

Veteran

Well, if you are also broad shouldered then you are an inverted triangle with apple tendencies and there are plenty of us around here. I like to wear loose waist-surrendering tops, tunics and sweaters with skinnies and boots. Trust me, looseness conceals flaws, gives the illusion of a flat belly and hides a flat derriere, whereas a tighter top may show all.

Post some pics when you can. It's never as bad as you think!

ClaraT

Veteran

I agree with alaska girl in that the world see you differently then you see yourself. Nice legs are a good start as this means that slim pants/skinny jeans + a loose top will look good. Same for a slim pencil skirt with looser top.

I know it is hard to shop when you don't feel good about the way you look. But you have to do it anyways You might start with a bra fitting. Don't go crazy buying bras, but do buy 1 good one to make sure the style/size fits you and isn't too uncomfortable. A supportive camisole will help smooth bumps.

You may be horrified by the thought of leggings/jeggings + tunic + boots, but a bottom with stretch might fit your bottom best. Black ponte pants are the professional equivalent.

Most of all, don't get overwhelmed. Try to get one outfit you like. Or one pair of pants with a couple of tops. Wear them and see what you like/don't like. You will make mistakes, so this might be the time to buy a cheaper version and upgrade later. On the other hand, if you have the budget/time/desire, I wonder if a professional (store) stylist would help?

Good luck and know that you are not alone.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Welcome! So sorry that you are feeling crummy about your shape. Around here we believe there are NO "bad" shapes. Only various priorities for figure flattery. I am sure you look a heck of a lot better than you fear right now -- you just need to find the right combination of items to make you feel fab.

Can you pinpoint a favourite outfit or even item of clothing? What's the last outfit you wore that you loved and felt great in?

lyn67

Veteran

Hi, Ms.Slim and Toned Legs! Show them off, and problem solved!

Oh, I know so well it isn't that easy, but you can start from accentuating/showing off your most attractive parts of your body-so why not wear a knee length jean/tube skirt(with flats or wedges for mommy comfort) and Vneck flowy top (or a wrap day dress) showcasting those slim and toned legs and hide that tummy. And give a good fit new bra for the girls, too-and you are set for a date!

Welcome!:-)

Glory

Veteran

Welcome! It is hard when you are not feeling great about your body. I think Lyn has got a terrific idea of starting with a new bra/bra fitting.
Then perhaps one outfit - a date outfit of perhaps a casual on the go outfit. Tell us what colours and shapes you enjoy.

Neel

Veteran

Plenty of good advice here! I know it sucks to feel that way and there is no other go but to face your fear and work on it. Been there done that. No matter who says what, you won't feel beautiful unless you love yourself.

You have taken the first step by posting now next step is to post your outfit pics when you can and I am sure you would get loads of advice here to help you. Hugs to you! And fabbers are very good with compliments!

Thistle

Veteran

I agree on the bra fitting! As G myself, I know the importance of a good bra fitting and good quality bras. And based on your verbiage, I beleive you are European, so you have excellent choices there!

Next, figure out what your main priority is first. Work? Time with the kids? What are you trying to dress for? That will help a lot.

Angie has some fab links for the different body types and ow to start dressing them.

And welcome!

Anonymous

I know an older woman with a similar body type who wears lots of leggings in dark colors with tunic tops in beautiful prints that are not clingy and not too full so as to be tent-like. The tops I remember are V or scoop necked, sometimes with a cami under them, and often a necklace. She looks great.

Gigi

Veteran

Welcome! I have been feeling better about my body since joining the forum; I hope you will too. Seeing so many pictures here of "normal" people trying to look good, instead of just models, really puts things in perspective. I am learning that it is not my body that's the problem, it's the clothes I'm trying to put on it! Once I can pinpoint the kinds of clothes that flatter my good parts and skim over my not-as-good parts, I feel much happier. And I am less likely to judge my body based on the prevailing winds of the current fashion and am more willing to say, "You know what, there's nothing wrong with having big hips. I'm not going to change my body just so that I can fit into clothes that the fashion designers think I should fit into. I'll keep looking."

You'll get lots of great advice on this forum!

Caro in Oz

Veteran

Another welcome from me. I agree with the others - start with a great bra. Then get a great haircut - if my hair or bra is wrong then I never feel great in clothes

Anonymous

Welcome! And I agree, bra and hair are good first things. Sounds like you may be an IT with apple tendencies. So highlight those long slim legs, and then look for some tops that skim your waist. Please post photos if you feel comfortable, it's the quickest way to get help, I think.

DonnaF

Veteran

And speaking of bra fittings, be aware that stores/shops may try to steer you to what they have in stock and not your actual size. Even Nordstrom here in the U.S. I finally took out a tape measure to measure around my ribcage where a bra's band is supposed to sit, and my band size is most definitely US/UK 28; EU 60; FR 75. Not sold even in lingerie specialty stores in my urban area; I have to do mail order. If I were really tiny, the only place that would sell my band size is a company in Poland! Most women are wearing bras too big in the band and too small in the cups; I know I was until I actually measured myself.

Review Angie's tips on Inverted Triangles (ITs) and maybe Adorable Apples. Please don't be so hard on yourself. And welcome to YLF!

annagybe

(website)

Veteran

I think you should also read the blog Already Pretty. She has lots of body positive advice. If your body is functioning, then it is not bad.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

I echo everything said on this thread, and hope we see your style in future so that we can help you feel good about your body. Our bodies are never wrong. When things don't fit, it's the clothes and shoes, and not our bodies that our wrong. Hang in there.