Bad haircut? Some good advice (Edited) - YouLookFab Forum

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Bad haircut? Some good advice (Edited)

krishnidoux

Veteran

Yes, it happened to me again! After months and months of growing my hair from a short pixie, it had painstakingly gotten to a somewhat almost same length stage, with a longer layer reaching just under the jaw bone and a shorter one on the top reaching my earlobe. It had finally started to move and bounce a little. This classic style meshed well with my clothes.

Then I went to my pre-appointed visit at my hairdresser.

And what got into her? I had the misfortune of confiding to her that I sometimes like to gently scrunch my hair dry for volume. A method that works really well on my fine hair when it is all the same length. I didn't mean for her to change my hair! She cut in layers, the choppy shaggy kind, and too many of them. My hair now is static, the disconnect with the bottom and top layer is even more apparent, and they've lost all shine.

And, worse of all, it completely fights my clothes. I've pulled forth all the boho-est pieces that I own, knowing they'll be my friends for a while, because the preppier options don't work with the frizz-head I now sport.

I've analyzed that: 1) fine hair such as mine need bigger layers, and less of them if any; 2) I must ask for micro-trims from now on; 3) I must insist for bounce and shine and 4) I must aggressively massage my head upside down morning and evening for the next 3 to 6 months!!!

Looking on the net I came across this article which I found among many to offer the best advice especially regarding products, so I wanted to share it, although I don't wish my present predicament to anyone.
http://beautyeditor.ca/2010/11.....red-haircu

EDIT: This forum is absolutely THE BEST! When I think that only yesterday, this hole situation brought me down, now, thanks to your insightful suggestions, it's MUCH better! Long term, I will listen to you guys and change stylist. This will be possible thanks to Krista who kindly came to my rescue. Short term, a trip to my local pharmacy after reading your recommendations made me discover Frizz-ease! (http://well.ca/products/john-f.....7MgodHQcAF) I found out my hair is much much better after I douse them in it before drying. Still not my style, but at least wearable until it grows out. Next on my list will be Moroccanoil.

General

27 replies

Latest reply was from Mellllls

Aquamarine

Veteran

Commiseration here. I have learned the hard way that I need to be specific, bring in photos, and be willing to speak up mid-cut. I have also learned not to get too chatty with my stylist...it distracts her LOL.

If all else fails, I tell myself it's only hair and it will grow back.

crutcher

Veteran

Maybe you need to find a new hair stylist...This one doesn't seem to be a good listener...As a wise person once said to me,"Its only hair and will grow out.", I understand that but it is so emotionally draining and physically tiring to
have to feel less than wonderful...My best to you...

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Oh, no!! A second bad haircut!!! You must be heartbroken and frustrated. It is true it will grow back (and hopefully a bit faster at this time of the year...) -- and yet. In the meantime life can be grim.

I second the thought that it may be time for a new stylist. It is true that with a new stylist, they must become used to your hair and its texture and there can be a few mis-fires or "almosts" when you go -- yet still. I would ask women with haircuts similar to the one you are hoping to achieve where they go. Especially if their hair texture looks similar to yours.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Oh no! I think hairstylists and their clients need to have as much clarification going into a new haircut/style as possible. Whenever my guy is about to start a new tactic, he asks me if that sounds good and we make sure we're on the same page. But we also have a great rapport -- I've been going to him for over a decade, and I almost always give him free license to do what he thinks will look good. So it sounds like maybe you need a new hairstylist in your life.

In the meantime, it sounds like you have some coping strategies in place. Sorry you're going through this!

shedev

Veteran

Sorry you are going through this.

Thistle

Veteran

I am SO sorry!!

I have to say, this does sound like time for a new stylist. Its like she remembers the old style is having a hard time adjusting to your new path.

I do know how hard it is to find a stylist when you have difficult hair. It is worth the hunt though, and sometimes family and friends can make it easier.

VernieJane

Yes yes. We have all been there, and its soooo bad when it happens after growing it out! This happened to me about a year ago as well! The best is to always take photos (easy now with Google image searches), and always stress the fact that you don't want to lose any more length than absolutely necessary. I like to take a picture of a future vision of my hair, and the hairdresser can advise me on the best way to get there from here.

Good luck sweetie, and have fun scrunching!

Mary Beth (formerly LBD)

(website)

Veteran

I am so sorry you are going through this I would haunt Youtube, google, etc. and look for fashion editorials for similar haircuts and styling ideas.

I would absolutely, definitely look for a new stylist. It doesn't matter if you've gone to her for years, or you are her child's godmother - you are paying her for a service, and you should get someone who listens to everything you are saying, not someone who picks out random asides and makes that the basis for the work they do.

I would also ask around, and see if anyone can recommend an uber-trendy salon where you can make an appointment for a styling tutorial. No scissors... just someone showing you some styling options.

JayS

Veteran

So sorry! I second (third, fourth?) looking for a new stylist. It sounds like she doesn't listen and I doubt she will pick up that skill anytime soon.
VernieJane's suggestion that you take a future vision of where you want your hair style to go is a good one. If the stylist sees that you want length, she may be less likely to cut too much.
Also, Moroccanoil is wonderful for shine and taming frizzies. One of the few products I've found that lives up to the hype.

Good luck!

Anonymous

How awful! You have my sympathy.

krishnidoux

Veteran

Thank you everyone for your insightful comments and your support!

I agree that a new stylist would be an easy way to deal with this, but, really, I have searched and searched in this city and this particular stylist really is the best one. I have actually left her for others before, only to come back pleading she'd take me back. She has appointments booked solid for 3 weeks ahead, so I pre-book with her every 6-8 weeks. There may be a pearl out there but I really don't know where she/he's hiding.

I will, however, listen to you guys and start looking very hard before my next appointment.

rabbit

Veteran

As someone with layer-y hair for me a lot depends on styling products or shampoo or forgoing hair washing. Like Marmee's great second day hair, sometimes fine hair just needs to be not as sterile, the scalp oils and sleeping on it help.

Or you can achieve the same effect with sea sprays, or what I use now, KMS hairplay makeover spray. I think it's supposed to function as a dry shampoo/oil absorber partly, but I spray it into the roots with my head upside down and then smooth hair into place. There appears to be no residue, but it just hand molds nicely throughout the day, has the right amount of volume, and the layers function like one unit instead of separate frizzies.

Marmee

Veteran

Krishnidoux, I'm so sorry about your haircut. Sympathy.

Hil

(website)

Veteran

You have my absolute sympathy? It's just so hard to get a haircut that you just don't like (even if to others, it looks nice) - I am going through this myself - after months of growing out my hair, I went for a cut at a new stylist and she chopped off my hard-grown back length and I really don't love it. Nothing to do but persevere with growing it again!!!

AviaMariah

Veteran

I'm so sorry. What an ordeal. I'm going to second what rabbit said - styling products make a huge difference for my fine, layered hair.

E

Veteran

Ugh, this happened to me once years ago (I have fine hair as well & it looks healthiest/thickest without any layers.). I'd finally grown my pixie cut out enough for a blunt bob, brought in photos of an unlayered bob, and the hairstylist cut in layers, with the top one at the level of my cheekbones. I was so upset & furious I didn't know what to do with myself or her. I mean, it's not like she could glue the hair back on to fix it. I ended up wearing headbands almost every day until that top layer grew out a bit. Nowadays, I literally preface any hair cut with repeating "I hate layers" several times until I'm positive they understand. Funnily enough, I've had the best luck with blunt bobs at cheap places, so that's what I stick to now.

I hope you can style it in a way that makes you happy! Perhaps ask her to just trim the bottom next time & not to touch anything else?

Ledonna N.

Veteran

I am sorry and grieve with thee. Finding a good stylist let alone a great one is a difficult journey. I would not give mine up for the world. It has taken me years to find her. So I deeply understand. I hope your hair will grow back quickly and you get what you are looking for next time.

Anonymous

You get your hair cut every 6 to 8 weeks?! Wow that is often. I get my hair cut every 10 to 12 weeks and that is what my stylist recommends and I have short hair. He told me that if I came in more often he would be cutting more unnecessary layers since my hair has not grown enough to trim those initial layers. (he told me that your hair does not grow uniformly so it is better to wait for a trim than to come in too soon). That is of course if you have such a precision cut that certain areas must look just so.

I feel that when you get a cut your stylist should spend the time showing you how to style it, especially when you are dropping big bucks for a haircut. If you are unhappy then you should speak with her and ask that she redo it free of charge. My hairstylist does that and he is completely fine with that.

sinead

As someone with fine hair who is also growing out aggressive layering (my daughter said it almost looks like a mullet. Ouch!) you have my sympathies. This has happened over and over to me, because I have to have some layering, just very light, and that seems to be an almost impossible idea to convey. I've decided there is a zen-zone of layering that stylists get into, and once they start snipping, it's hard to stop.

One thing I noticed when I was in a job that had me running around like a hamster in a treadmill was that my hair grew at an extraordinary rate. And after I was laid off, it stopped growing so fast. So, at least for me, exercise is my magic hair grower-outer. Plus, helps with mood!

My mantra for the next visit is going to be: trim the bottom only, trim the bottom only!

Anonymous

I reread your post and wanted to ask if you told your stylist that you were growing out your pixie and you did not want the layers anymore. She should have just trimmed the top layers so that they would blend in and just trim the bottom so that the top and bottom layers would blend in more.

If she fails to listen you need to find a new stylist. In the meantime as I said earlier you should let the salon know that you are not happy and see what they could do for you.

krishnidoux

Veteran

Lara, I did tell her I was growing my hair out, I make sure I repeat this first thing every time. My goal is shoulder length. I said "I can't wait for the top layer to grow and meet the bottom!" To which she replied, "Well do you still want that (makes a face) round shape?" Me (thinking "yuk! I don't want the round page style): No. Her: I can arrange that, so that it's not so round there, and blends in with the bottom.

I trusted her because she is a top stylist who up to now had given me the sleek bob-like cuts, and thought it would go in the same direction. I saw her chop here and there, with scissors at an angle and leaving chunks, and tried to reassure myself thinking she knows what she's doing. When came time to style, she told me of the new trend - flat underlayer, curly top - and she reproduced it using paste (ugh!). I thought the result was due to the weird styling, but when I came home and washed it off, I realized the damage

She is the owner of the salon, where I also get my colour. And because I begged her to take me back after I previously had left her, I feel that I can't go back for readjustment.

But thank you for the advice anyway.

I go see her every 8 weeks now that I am growing my hair, but now that you mention it, I think I will start doing like you and space visits even more. It's a good reminder. Thanks!

krishnidoux

Veteran

Sinead, you describe it so well. There must be a magical vocabulary, but then what? I too have tried many words - and many images too... not always work, but helps. Regarding activity and growth: I too noticed phenomenal growth about ten years ago, and I remember that it was a time during which I was very very active as well as athletic. So you may be on to something. If anything, the gym helps to calm down.

krishnidoux

Veteran

Rabbit - Thank you, that is a very good piece of advice.

Hil - Welcome to the club. I will try this Moroccanoil product JayS recommends, and tell you how it turns out.

E - You are hilarious! Despite the fact that what happened to you was definitely not fun, you are able to relate it with humor now, which gives me hope.

Ladywone - Thank you. You are lucky to have found someone who you can communicate with effectively. I don't know why, I always find I'm fighting linguistically at the hairdresser's. Yet I'm a language instructor! lol

Anonymous

The shop owner really! I really feel for you. I get really defensive when it comes to my hair, possibly because I have had so many bad cuts in my 57 years. I think my hair looked its best when I was a teen and just had my mom trim my ends (my hair was waist length). I have never been thoroughly happy with my cuts, but I don't know if that is the stylist's fault or the fact that I have fine stick straight hair.

I envy women with full thick lustrous hair which my mom had, but not me. I cut it pixie style a few years ago because it looks its thickest and it is the most manageable, but sometimes I long for longer hair but look back at photos and see had badly I look. Finding a stylist who is consistent is tough.

Maybe just play around with it and see what you can do. I use thickening cream in my hair or a texturizing cream (I use one by Rusk) then blow dry. My hair looks shiny, feels thicker, and actually behaves. Also, sometimes a new haircut goes into shock and will start behaving by the end of the week. Hopefully that will happen to you.

jackiec

Veteran

Oh I feel so bad for you - I know EXACTLY the feeling. Been there done that. There's lots of good advice and support here so far. Hope that helps, and here's to the grow-out phase going quickly....

Krista

Veteran

Krish, sorry this has happened again. We are in the same city - I have been going to the same stylist for almost 14 years, if you'd like his name and info, just PM me.

Mellllls

Veteran

sorry