Big hugs from me, too, Thistle! I can so relate to so much of what you've written! When I was a young working mother, fashion was the very furthest thing from my mind! I had probably a week's worth of work outfits and some barely-fit-to-leave-the-house casual clothes, and that was it, because I was too busy with life to worry about fashion. And I only had one baby!! You are miles ahead of me already because, as others have already pointed out, you know what you like and what suits you already.
More recently, I've been living in a construction zone for months, and working on the remodel and the decorating project, and my interest in fashion has waned as my creative energy and my money have been directed elsewhere. So like you, I've been distracted from fashion for a happy reason. I think that's just fine -- life has seasons and we need to enjoy the season we're in! Fashion will still be there when we're ready to pay attention to it again!
And yes, it is possible to look polished and good and have it be easy. It takes a little effort on the front end (okay, maybe more than a little effort), but once you have your wardrobe up and running you really can go on auto-pilot and let your closet do the work for you! I've been living proof of that for the past five months! I think for you a uniform of pants (and as somebody said upthread, nobody knows or cares if you wear the same black pants every day) and a cozy washable top and cardigan or ponte knit jacket would be just the thing. But there's no hurry -- enjoy your sweet baby and worry about the clothes when things calm down a bit!
