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Outfits Ensembles Trends Advice

Baby Phat

Olive Green

Veteran

About how old were you when you began to have decided preferences in clothing and general adornment? And how was that received?

I remember being extraordinarily affected by colour and would NOT wear fuchsia. My mom, who had faultless taste, dressed me beautifully. I was not always having it! I had opinions!
It was the war of the fashionistas for a while…and I was three?
I have all the choices today and I spend some time, like people on this forum, still refining those preferences and turning them into modern decisions for an old woman…but there is a thread that runs through.
Fashion was one of our love languages, I think, and an ongoing pleasure that mom and I shared. Clothing stands in for so many things. How to express or protect yourself. Cultural and religious norms, how to spend resources. I still pass a critical French Catholic eye over how much skin is showing, how much bling is too much, and is the formality level appropriate? I can and do flout all the ‘rules’, but I do possess the filter as installed.
How did your early experience affect today’s outfit?

Dressing

29 replies

Latest reply was from Angie

April

Veteran

What a great topic!

I have spoken before about my mother's restrictive rules: little girls must wear dresses, no black except at ballet class, no trousers to school unless you put them under a skirt in winter, no "dungarees" ever, pink pink pink.

She also had a rule that whatever it was had to come from the sale rack or be a free hand-me-down.

When I was 12, we moved away from my childhood home and I was horrified to learn that the "first day of school" outfit my mother had ordered from the Sears catalog (on sale!) was terribly babyish. Can't find a similar image but sample this: bright pink tee with graphic of an off-brand Hollie Hobbie-style old-fashioned girl on it, matching bright pink flares with same girl printed on one of the flares.

What were the girls at my new school wearing? Cool matching velvet vests & gaucho pants combos in sophisticated colors like deep brown and forest green, cream satin polyester shirts underneath, tall flat boots. That was the student-council girls. The "caught smoking in the bathroom" girls were in head-to-toe faded denim with ballpoint pen writings all over - song lyrics and boys' phone numbers - and everyone everywhere rolling on lip gloss. It was 1976.

So you can imagine that the first thing I did when I got a job at 14 was start buying my own wardrobe: cue the platform sandals and the Candie's, the Jordache velour tops, cheap-as-chips clothing from the sale rack at Lerner's in the local mall.

Rebel, Rebel, you've torn your dress...

Janet

(website)

Veteran

My mom was very appearance-conscious! She dressed nicely and was always well-groomed. So she also dressed me nicely as a child. I witnessed a LOT of fights though with my sister over clothing — she is ten years my senior, so you can imagine what a 14yo and her parents were battling over in 1969. Micro mini dresses, torn jeans, crazy makeup… So I learned not to rebel too hard or too directly and pick my battles. Times also changed and the hippie thing died down by the time I got older, turning towards preppy styles and 80s fashions, which were way more covered up and much more palatable to my parents.

That said, I’ve always had certain preferences — never terribly girlie but also not a tomboy. I wanted to look pretty but never cared for twee, ruffles, bows, anything like that. My mom didn’t really do that either so no big conflict there.

To this day, if I’m going to be rebellious, it is going to be in a fairly quiet, more sophisticated way.

Dee

Veteran

As the oldest of 4 kids, money was tight, my mom wasn’t very concerned about being fashionable, so I was given hand me downs from older cousins. One cousin’s wardrobe wasn’t definitely not my cup of tea, dull colours, practical and rather old fashion looking and certainly nothing like what other kids were wearing. My girlfriend down the street always had newer fashionable clothes and I was so envious.

When I was about 13, I began receiving clothes from another cousin who lived in a big city. Woah, all of it was colourful, very stylish and trendy. When I wore these clothes, people noticed and I got plenty of compliments when wearing them.

When I started making money from baby sitting and working at a snack bar part time, my very first purchase was a pair of red corduroy overalls, with a white ruffled blouse underneath.There was no turning back, I finally felt like myself in these clothes. Even today its important that anything I wear represents who I really feel that I am. I just love having the freedom to dress the I way want to.

Irina

Veteran

I remember some of my clothes from my early age - a light blue patterned flannel robe that my mother brought. I was in bed with a bad cold and she came from a work trip. I remember the smell of the new fabric and silky texture. I thought it was so beautiful! I was probably 5.

I broke my arm when I was 10 and wore a cast for a three weeks. I couldn’t wear my school uniform dress and was allowed to wear a sweater and a skirt to school. Only one out of all schoolchildren (grade 1 to 10)! How thrilling!

When I was 11 my mother allowed me to cut my hair and bought me new clothes to smooth my transition to a new school. My single parent mother bought us new clothes when it was absolutely necessary and made some when she had time. She indulged me. She would make one or two pieces that were popular at the time. I wore bell bottoms and a fitted button down shirt with an elongated collar in mid ‘70s.

I always liked clothes and was encouraged by my mother to dress nicely. I think growing up with not a lot of means to spend on clothes, not having a good selection of clothes available in stores and being petite, made me appreciate the accessibility and variety of things I can afford now. It also made me creative, not as a designer but as a user to forge my own path. For so many years I wore custom made garments, I used to be just me, IYKWIM. To this day my individuality is extremely important to me.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Olive Green, I enjoyed your stories! And April, Dee and Janet's too!

Between wearing a school uniform for 12 years, and horse riding gear over the weekend - I had very few opportunities to wear regular clothing - and a very sparse wardrobe until I went to University! All of a sudden I needed regular daily clothes. A new experience.

My Mama was mostly supportive of my choices, and I was not a rebellious child or teen. She encouraged modest dressing, and that has stuck. She encouraged dressing up - that REALLY stuck!

cat2

Veteran

I was a very late arrival to my parents life, so my mom’s 1940s French Catholic upbringing collided a bit with 70s fashion. Somehow we got to the compromise that I could wear what I could sew myself, or buy with my earnings and gifts. My sister helped out by knitting or crocheting current vests and sweaters. And making us macramé accessories.

Minaminu

Veteran

Oh what a great topic!! Irina, one can read the bond and love between you and your mum and that must have been really special!

My mum's family went from super wealthy to bankrupt to then financially healthy in the same decade and this has definitely affected her in so many ways. She has a great knowledge of materials and easily spots the most expensive one, but is also very skilled in making it work with a limited budget. I remember she used to saw dresses for herself and the rest of the family and had amazing tailoring skills. Daily clothes were normally passed down (from elderly cousins) but special occasion dresses were usually made to measure. She still knows where to check for the craftmanship and seems to know all the shortcuts, I remember last autumn she told the tailor off for his finishing in a pair of trousers (which required just shortening!).

Every time I travel to visit her, I have a mental checklist of the grooming that I have to do on myself as well as the checks on my clothes... and then I get the look from top to bottom. Olive Green, if your mum is also French, I think know that look too!

April

Veteran

My elementary school had a ladies-only thing called the Style Show. If a mother (no dads allowed) sewed, her daughter (no sons) could model a spring fashion on the makeshift runway of our "cafetorium." The show was held in the evening. Very big deal to be at school after dark!

My mother did sew, and her Style Show trademark was making a matching outfit for my little Vogue doll, Beth. I loathed the try-ons and getting stuck with pins and I did not at all like being on stage for any reason but of course I never said so.

Anyone from the Boston region remember Saftler's? https://www.patriotledger.com/.....056822007/ I guess in the 60s/70s it was still cheaper to buy fabrics and patterns than to buy premade clothes because we spent a LOT of time at Saftler's.

slim cat

Veteran

I remember very few things that I liked to wear in my childhood - grey waist drop dress with row of small red buttons ( made in Germany I think ), black pants that I wore on repeat, sweater with some black/grey/red design that I "inherited' from older brother, first tall boots with a bit of a heel, collared white shirt with a bit of graphic...
School uniform was mostly boring in brown ( my worst color ) and black, shoes were difficult to find.
It feels like right now in a way - limited choices and some favorite pieces worn on repeat all the time, work uniform ( sorta ) with a bit more freedom and some fun colors.
My mom had classic preferences and at certain point in her life was able to have a few pieces done by seamstress in her style with fabric bought in specialty stores - silk, georgette, light weight wool, gabardine...
Once the matching "suit" was done for me - brown skirt, brown vest with big buttons, silk blouse in white with tiny flowers in green and brown with high neck and small ruffles I hated every element of it - lol.
Brown was my mom' color.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

What a great topic, Olive Green. I loved your stories as well as April's, Janet's, Irina's, Angie's, cat2's, Minaminu's. Remembering our mothers and their relationship to clothes and fashion can really tell us a lot about the role clothes play in our lives today! And our fashion personalities seem to reveal themselves early on.

I had distinct preferences from the get-go. When it was time for shoes, I wanted the red ones. I know this, because my mother saved them for years. Which shows you that if she could, she indulged my early preferences and encouraged them. Sweet of her, because there wasn't a lot of money and she sewed most of her (and my) clothes until I was school age and even later.

Later, we had our share of fashion disagreements, of course. But at 14, I got a small clothing allowance so I could choose and budget for myself. At 16 I got a part-time job, which increased my spending power. From that point on, I bought all my own clothes except winter coats and boots which I got for Christmas or my birthday because they were so expensive.

Later, when my mother became legally blind, I bought most of her clothes. I used to take. her shopping, and also bought things for her online and had them sent. One of those was a cotton twinset from Land's End that looked stunning on her. I rescued it after she died and I still wear it today. Here it is.

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LJP

Veteran

My mother was talented with a sewing machine and I had some pretty cool outfits to wear when I was in the early grades . She taught me to sew and it exploded from there . I’ve always done my own thing , made my own clothes for years and she never voiced a negative opinion ( on clothes or how I dressed ) . She was proud of my sewing skills and that made me happy . I wasn’t a fashion rebel and not one to push the boundaries age-wise vis a vis clothing .

Olive Green

Veteran

April, the horror, lol, and I relate. That first day at a new school was always a roll of the dice. In, or out? Which group? And the joy of being able to buy your own clothes so you could fit in, or not. Same.
Janet, you were so lucky your older sister caught the brunt of that amazing cultural change between generations. And the quiet rebel in you worked it out, I can see that to this day. How does your sister dress? similar?
Dee, I remember my very first bought by me clothes also. Loved them to death. Still miss them.
Irina, we have some style notes in common. You are living a more formal life, but I could/would wear a lot of your carefully chosen minimalist wear. Also petite and had a mother who could sew!
Angie, yes, the modest dressing! I rebelled against it for a bit, mini skirts and very risky blouses but the early conditioning kicked back in. I love how you are highly visible without being naked. It is an art.
Cat2 and Minaminu, French moms, Catholic moms…YES, THE LOOK. OMG. Just turn around and change. On the other hand, she was so seldom wrong and I miss her rather pungent commentary.
Suz, I was also that red shoe girl. What I got was saddle shoes. I am still miffed. How lovely that you returned the favor and bought your mom’s clothes later. What a gift. And the twin set is so pretty. The last thing I got for my mom was a very saucy little red purse made out of old license plates, she wanted it to wear with her little cape. Talk about cute.
LJP, an accepting mom who fostered creativity? Yes, please. You went into the trade for a reason!

pirouette

My mother was fabulous. She was so good to me and my sisters we had what ever was in fashion as children and as we became teenagers she gave us the money to buy whatever was in fashion. Yet she never spent anything on herself. I have always loved fashion and I think I got it from her love of dressing her girls ( daughters) and from my godmother who also was big into fashion and very generous towards me. I miss them both so much but always feel when I dress to go out I am honouring both of them.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

My sister and I have some similar tastes, but after her rebellious teens, she skewed much more conservative. She enjoys pretty colors and prints (we both love scarves!), but her style softened while mine edged up as I went through college and got more involved in music, etc. She also moved south, so her environmental norms shifted in different ways from mine. Interesting how these things shape our styles!

Olive Green

Veteran

Janet, that suggests a range of influence that can be adapted to different styles as we grow and change?

ChristelJ

Veteran

What a wonderful thread and very sweet and vivid stories. I can picture all of us younger yet the same!

My parents both always enjoyed clothes and dressed in Mid century modern patterns and careful color matching. In the 60s my mom started to dress in ethnic flavors too, like India prints and paisleys and folk embroidery, and lots of bold pendants. My parents had a huge influence on my taste. Every time Mom or I got something new, we had to have a "fashion show" in the living room, where we would all agree the new item was "very nice". As a child I usually approved of my mother's choices for me, and they were modest but also with interesting fabrics and colors, like chartreuse and olive and gold. As soon as I was old enough, we went second-hand shopping together and sewed together. I was a teen in the 70s and loved the fashion. Thrifting opened up the world for me as it was affordable, and I dressed in vintage clothing quite often. I also sewed myself skirts and even a prom dress. The one time I got disapproval for my outfit was after wearing a crocheted halter top to school. That went a bit too far.

I no longer wear vintage because, well, I am myself so vintage. I do still sew a little but it has become quite expensive. But the boho teen will never leave me. I am wearing tie-dye right now, denim and sandals. As for my 90 year old mom, she and I went thrift-shopping last month, and in no time at all, her eagle eye sought out a couple of beautiful sweaters that suited her perfectly.

rachylou

Veteran

We-ll, my mother stopped knitting when I refused to wear a little skirt outfit she made. I may have been two… lololol And then she used to get really mad that I only wanted to wear dresses because she wanted to counter-culture us. And she refused to buy anything on-trend. But that said, she did buy me nice things that fit when I was little and aesthetics are a major topic in my family… speaking of which, it was my father who was interested in high fashion, with the Oscar de la Renta tux, and who brought me my first Vogue. Oh gosh, and my uncles are all real pieces of work in this arena. We used to dress for dinner… one had to both adhere to rules yet show flare. People who survive a dinner with my family are both traumatised and proud, lolol!

Val

The way my mother tells it, I insisted on choosing my own outfits from the moment I was physically capable of dressing myself. She was sometimes embarrassed by my toddler fashion choices lest people think they were her idea.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

I am loving all these stories. Such a great thread. Thanks, OliveGreen.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Can I just confess that some of my earliest fashion related memories are playing with Barbie and other dolls? I can remember some of those outfits nearly as well as I remember some of my own. I was especially fond of pink and purple ensembles. So that has certainly changed, LOL.

Bijou

Veteran

Some of my earliest memories are of how I was dressed from 3 years of age. I was a maximalist then as I am now. There is a photo of me at 3-years wearing a dress, handbag, sunglasses, hat and bracelets, striking a pose for the camera!

Jenni NZ

Veteran

Great thread! I don’t remember that much about my preferences as a very young child. I remember being excited about the “Easter Tuesday” shopping trips. This must have been before I was 10, because Mum learned to drive and went back to work that year. Before that she didn’t drive and Dad worked in an office. About the only working day (before weekend shopping started in NZ) that he had off that school also had off, was Easter Tuesday. Easter Monday was a public holiday so shops were closed.
So on Easter Tuesday, he drove the 4 of us- myself and younger sister included- across town to some good children’s clothing stores. (There weren’t many). And some winter outfits would be bought for us. This was exciting and I’m guessing not cheap though Mum was a good budgeter.
I remember loving fashionable “hot pants” in about 1972 when I was 11. Hot pink floral. And pretty “dirndl dresses” we got for Christmas maybe the next year?
I’m watching closely my baby granddaughter’s preferences. She is not quite 2. Her preferences are strong! Yellow is her favourite colour so far.

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Anonymous

When I was a kid, I loved the singer Crystal Gayle. I thought she was so glamourous! That's probably the earliest thing that shaped my style preferences.

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LaPed

Veteran

I remember deciding, at age four or five, that I loved jeans and wanted nothing to do with sweatpants or leggings anymore. No more skirts or dresses, either (not that I had many; pragmatic mother, cold climate). I remember always having a favorite graphic tee. The first one had watermelon slices on it. Then I got a t-shirt that just said "Not!" on it in big letters (early 90s -- remember Wayne's World?). After the slogan tee came one with a kayak graphic (I grew up on a lake).

In elementary school, I collected hats (mostly bucket hat styles -- it was the 90s); we had "hat day" on Wednesday, the only day we were allowed to wear hats inside, and it was my very favorite day of the week. I had one hat that I decorated with cute little tack pins (mostly animals -- people knew I loved them and I received a lot as gifts).

Once I started school, I became very shoe aware too. For a while, Adidas Sambas were The Thing (soccer was really taking off at this point in my community; we all loved those silky Umbra soccer shorts, too). Then skate shoes; Vans of course, and also Airwalks, which purists insisted was a copycat brand. I'm sure I owned both at some point. Then by high school I was all about Chuck Taylors, and that persisted into my 20s 'til my feet couldn't tolerate the narrow rubber toes anymore. Along with Converse, my other big obsession in high school was messenger bags. Not as practical or ergonomic as a backpack, but so much cooler! I had a pink YakPak, then a Timbuk2 later on.

In terms of clothing, I settled into a loose tomboy-prep aesthetic and haven't really deviated from it too much to this day. Solid base of jeans, khakis, corduroys, mariners, graphic tees, and button-downs. In middle and high school I thrifted virtually all my own clothes and ended up with some wacky one-offs that I adored for their novelty: a black velvet mini skirt, a couple pairs of palazzo pants and drapy gauchos, some boho dresses, and some "ugly" sweaters and chunky "grandpa" cardigans.

I was never a magazine reader and any awareness I had of trends was based on observation and intuition. I've never felt much pressure to "fit in" and have always been happy to exist a bit outside of the mainstream. I always had a strong sense of what I liked, what I was excited about, and what I was tired of, which sometimes aligned with what was current and sometimes not. I might be somewhat more trend/market conscious now because following fashion has become a bit more of a hobby for me, but really not much has changed!

Carol

(website)

Veteran

About third grade is when I started. I enjoyed clothing that was slightly referential, so I'd kind of bounce back and forth between a 1950s swing-type skirt and sweater outfit, and a baggy pants and baggy tee hip-hop informed outfit.

Throughout high school I enjoyed clothes that were referential, which stood out in my small college town. My favorite was one I had based on the movie Kids. A black beanie, dark lipstick, undershirt tank and baggy jeans.

Today I am making less references, but I think my old ways inform me in that I like to know the context of clothes. What is its history, is this a benchmark brand for this particular item (jeans, sunglasses, etc.) Who is wearing it, and how does that affect my reception by the world if I wear it.

Olive Green

Veteran

Most of us had decided preferences from an early age!
Pirouette, the clan of fashionable women who supported you sounds so warm.
Janet, environmental norms shifting and kids differentiating is always fascinating. I have brothers, one of whom is a beauty, and has impeccable taste and is always dressed in high end, well worn clothing. Like stealth wealth? And the other is a cheerful care-less. The beauty and I are always looking at the careless fella with The Look we inherited. Added an eye roll, lol.
Bijou, I would have that photo framed and put in your maximalist closet! Made me smile.
Jenni, hot pants. Wow, I remember the pushback on those. Your family were planners and it shows in your resource allocation. And the little may be happily absorbing your closet lessons.
Sun tiger, early style icons, another thread, seeing why we latched onto that particular person would be so interesting. She was a little remote and that Rapunzel hair was such a statement.
LaPed, were you what is now called a HypeBeast? Someone who effortlessly embodies trends that no one else has seen yet? Someone style setters pay attention to because you are the next big thing? Because you nailed a lot of enduring themes, there.

Olive Green

Veteran

Christie, your family sounds so free, somehow. Like they cared a lot about beauty. My favourite line, ‘I no longer wear vintage because I myself am so vintage.” Same. It’s wierd.
Rachy, I have loved everything you have shared about your family on this forum, it seems like you all would make the most wonderful Quirky documentary. Genuine originals! Many Opinions! Style references from all cultures, done with tongue in cheek and taken absolutely seriously!

Olive Green

Veteran

Carol, It is so interesting that you referenced wildly disparate styles. Gonna think about that. Is it more comfortable for people if you are consistent?

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Olive Green, I'm impressed with how thoughtfully and kindly you're replying to the comments on your thread