Awkward! What to wear to meet BF's ex...also mother of his child...

I've been with my lovely BF now for just on 14 months and recently decided I could possibly spend my life with him.

Part of that is accepting (and embracing) that he has a 4yo child with someone else (both mother and child live in US now but are visiting Aus at the moment). I've never met the ex but have seen her pics etc. and he still has regular contact because of the child.

Tomorrow we are travelling interstate and going straight to a cafe to pick up the child, rather than picking them up from the grandparents' place as usual. The time has come for me to meet the ex and I am ready for it, just a bit nervous.

My BF has no feelings towards his ex except where the child is concerned, and I am confident in the knowledge he loves me to pieces and thinks I am beautiful.

But I'll admit, part of me is nervous because his ex is VERY attractive (as in, a complete knockout) which makes me feel insecure (silly, I know).

Advice on what to wear? I want to be pretty, not overdone, but still me. Any suggestions? Oh - in terms of practicality we will be travelling most of the morning to get there so it needs to be "travel safe".

...Does this all sound awfully shallow? :-/

14 years ago

Polly (thunalata)

Veteran

Not shallow at all!

Can see why you might be nervous but know that you'll pull it off and look fabulous - can't believe she'll look any better than you.

Never good at making suggestions, but above all this needs to communicate who you are, so you need to feel comfortable in it, not just physically but in how you look. Something tried and trusted. Others will have more useful suggestions but just wanted to say good luck!

rute

Oh.. Tara..that's a difficult one!
Do you have a "secure outfit" I call that to my beloved LBD (I have several, but one looks amazing on my figure). It's an outfit you have used many times and you know you feel amazing in it. This outfit must fit perfectly and still be comfy!
It can be a dress or a fab pair of jeans with a lovely blouse!
I don't like to try new combinations to difficult occasions!
I would choose also flats because the are comfy and stylish and a nice necklace!

Kira

Active Member

One of your favorite pairs of jeans (not too low, but you like how they make you look), and one of your breezy tops with lace and some flats. A necklace and a bracelet, or whatever you think matches, just keep it simple. Also, on long car rides I like to take a little bottle of water with witch hazel in it. If you close your eyes and spritz a little on your face, it keeps you cool and prevents sweating or a flushed face. Water with cucumber can make sure you stay fresh too, or you can bring your fave light body spray. I have fair skin and blush easily, so this always helps me before a possibly tense situation or just sitting too long in the car.

Louise

I totally sympathise my BF also has a child from a previous marriage she was 4 when I first met her. I'd dress in an outfit that 'feels like you'. It will probably be stressful to start with so you need to be comfy and not worrying about your clothes and also there is no point trying to be something you're not, the mask will eventually slip so it's best to let the child see upfront 'who you are' x

stringy

I've got the same advice as everyone else: pick a favourite outfit that you already know looks great and makes you feel good about yourself, instead of something new and adventurous. It helps you feel confident, it helps the daughter get a sense of who you are, it reminds your BF of why he loves you, and hopefully the ex will see that you're a secure and confident individual too.

Practical details: jeans and boots seems about right for a long drive. What's the weather going to be like? You don't want to be shivering or sweaty.

Tara

(website)

Thanks for the input so far ladies.

I already know his son, we get along well and he seems to like me so no problems there (whew!)

This is the first time I have to come face to face with the ex. The suggestion to wear something familiar and comfortable is great!

The weather is going to be hot (31 degrees Celsius - 87.8F). And, I will be doing the driving at least part of the way (just got my provisional drivers license!)

But yes...thanks for the advice to stay true to myself and what makes me feel good

Sveta

Tara, I am sure you will do great on that meeting. Just remember that your BF prefers you to his ex, doesn't matter how attractive she is! Just be yourself and wear whatever makes you feel fab and special. Don't dress for her, dress for yourself (and your BF of course)!
The most important thing you need to do is to feel confident - everything else will follow.
Good luck and enjoy your weekend!

Ornella

Sveta said it all - Don't dress for her, dress for yourself!

And, given that the two of them seem to have civilized relationship and raise the child together, sounds like you have nothing to worry about

She may be knockout in your eyes, but I'm pretty sure you are in hers too (from what we've seen here). You' re adorable and fun and pretty, everything that should make her a bit nervous too, when you think about it.

So, just relax and be yourself. I'm sure you'll look back on this as an interesting experience.

Angie

Fashion Stylist

Tara, I have nothing further to add because the ladies have you sorted. But you'll look and be fab no matter what. Good luck.

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