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Avoiding "Mum" dressing (per the Guardian)

Mander

(website)

Veteran

I came across this article in the Guardian and thought it might be an interesting topic of discussion. For once the comments aren't as nasty as usual, but I have to admit I found the look she is advocating to be not all that distinct from the one she is shunning. Apparently Breton stripes and Converse are dire fashion sins, and instead we need ironic printed sweatshirts and fancy athletic shoes.

Thoughts?

General

32 replies

Latest reply was from Helena

Deborah

Veteran

I must be tired because I laughed so much at some of the comments that I am crying! The difference in the tone of this and say one of Angie's posts is remarkable. Angie always leaves me feeling good about myself and encouraged. This type of journalism just makes women feel bad. I think it's so dangerous to set oneself up as an expert when you are not one. She may. not feel she is conforming to those who "mum dress", but she is just conforming to another style of popular dressing.

Ornella

(website)

Veteran

I have noticed the feature "School Gate Style" in some glossies recently and this is perfect continuation of that. What I can't get my head around is that this is not Sun, but Guardian.

I'm wrecking my brain what the main message the author wants to get across is. I have to leave soon and I'll come back to comment in more detail later. But I think Deborah had nailed it:
"Angie always leaves me feeling good about myself and encouraged".

I find this article not constructive or helpful at all. Bordering patronising.

Jules

Veteran

Stylish diaper bags have been a thing since I had my first 8 years ago. No
one I knew carried a kid-themed one. Maybe South London is a bit behind on that one
Overall I didn't find that too bad, actually. Her specific advice is neither here nor there (I *like* Breton tops and converse), but the idea that you don't have to default to certain basics and can find items that are more you is good, I think.

Jules

Veteran

Actually another point (back to the diaper bags lol) - a big reason why I never got a cool bag or worried about my clothes when I was on mat leave (2 years total) was because I really didn't see 'mum' as my sole identity. I didn't feel the need to build a real wardrobe around the role and practicality and cost ruled. I could see that some of the SAHM put more effort in and good for them.

Peri

Veteran

Sort of a side topic, but here is one thing I really don't understand...what is ironic when it comes to clothing? Makes just zero sense! It is difficult enough to pull off when it comes to humor, and the term is misused half the time as it is.

Now I keep reading about dressing ironically. As in, a certain look could be less than great, but it's okay as long as you wear it ironically. Huh????

My guess is that no one really knows what it means. Some fashion insider said and now it has become an emperor's new clothes thing.

Isis

Veteran

loved the comments; thanks for pointing them out Deborah.

The long thread about posing made me laugh!

And, my take on this is that it is really difficult to be a mom of young children. It's OK to take a break from fashion (the best photo was the first because it had a laughing child and they were going down the slide)....

rae

(website)

Veteran

I think her main point was that she feels most mums dress alike in a bland, generic way, and that she'd like to see other mums recover their individuality in more statement pieces.

Unfortunately, she presents it in such an offensive and judgmental way that it comes across as, "My style is young and cool and classics are lame."

RoseandJoan

Veteran

To be honest I find both sides of the argument to be judgmental on the one hand the blogger comes across as superior but some of the comments imply a new Mum should have no time for herself as her sole purpose it look after her offspring and to my mind this view is equally as offensive.

Catnip

Veteran

I just went out to pick up some food for brunch. It's about to rain here and everyone, including kids and guys, was wearing a mum coat. What's wrong with that? We all want to be warm and dry.

Mary Beth (formerly LBD)

(website)

Veteran

Wow. I skimmed the article, and the first dozen or so comments. 90 seconds of my life that I will never get back. Another 'We need clicks to get money from our advertisers', unhelpful 'style' article. I'm surprised it didn't headline on Yahoo!

celia

Veteran

The article really comes across as judgmental.
If her intention was to advocate expression of individuality for moms she didn't do such a great job because she ended up stereotyping in the other extreme.
For what is worth I would feel frumpy ( or at least too sporty for me) if i would dress in 'ironic' shirts and fancy athletic shoes because it would not suit my body type or my personality.

FlorenceFearne

@Peri - "ironic" fashion is one of my pet peeves. It's wearing a garment that's ugly, or tacky, or really cheesy, or extremely dated or whatever, but when it's worn the wearer is essentially saying, "this garment is so hideously bad that I am wearing it anyway as a sort of inside joke to be shared only with other people who have my same tastes in clothing." See the recent proliferation of Christmas sweaters among teens as a case in point.

CocoLion

(website)

Veteran

Yes Florence that is a good explanation. Here is another example: wearing a trucker cap with something like "Valvoline" on it, but wearing it with ripped skinny jeans, an ovoid coat and stiletto heels. That is irony. In fact, ripped skinny jeans with stilettos is a form of irony.

This article was written to generate response, hence the snarky tone. Don't be too judgmental of the author for that reason, she has editors. But the article and responses bring me to raise a point I have been thinking about of late. That is, that there is the pro-fashion take on the world, and the anti-fashion take. We see both perspectives, even on YLF.

Alassë

Veteran

Thank you for that explanation, Florence.

Laura (rhubarbgirl)

(website)

Veteran

Maybe it's a cultural thing, but I don't really understand the nuances of her references. Are the pictures with the article supposed to be what she wants to wear, or what she wants to not wear anymore? Because in the pics she looks like every other mom of young children I know - practical, washable separates and comfortable shoes. She doesn't look bad, exactly, but it's not something I'd be particularly proud of either. Maybe some brands are in and some are not, but that's a very narrow view of what makes fashion fashion.

FlorenceFearne

So I only just read the article in question, and I have to say I think breton shirts and converse would be miles cuter than her current, allegedly improved look. Her look now is something I'd wear to the gym. But I guess I'm not the "hippest" person either, so what do I know?

Caro in Oz

Veteran

"Yes, our priorities change, but this is a rally for us to make an effort – and this doesn't mean spending extra money or time on what we wear. It just means swapping mediocre items (eg a cosy jumper) for a great one instead (eg a blingin' sparkly knit). It's not rocket science, but it makes ALL the difference."

If this is her point then I agree with it, but the delivery is very confused.

Peri

Veteran

Oh good...so if I wear anything awful I can just claim to be ironic. Easy out!

Just kidding. But thanks for the explanation!

Laura (rhubarbgirl)

(website)

Veteran

I agree, Caro. Very confusing, not clearly written at all. Now that I've thought about it some more, I think her point was that the Breton/converse crowd were mainstream, and that she didn't want to be mainstream - thus choosing edgier pieces that were less traditionally flattering. I think?

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

This conversation is far more interesting than the original one. Cocolion's point about the pro-fashion/anti-fashion camps has struck me also. Laura, I agree that she is not the best illustration of her own points, but she has generated clicks.

Deborah

Veteran

Interesting to read everyone's thoughts. With respect, I thought her look was very ordinary. Not edgy. As others have said she looks like loads of other mums I know (style wise) and I think they look good. For some women the desire is simply to look good in what's current and not necessarily be angling for an edgy more unique look. That's not for everyone.

catgirl

Veteran

Well, I couldn't tell if the pictures were examples of what she was saying to do or to NOT do. I find that sort of tone so annoying. But the COMMENTS were priceless!

Anonymous

In the pictures she posted, she looks like a mum to me. Washable separates and comfy shoes. Not bad, but not particularly stylish.

londonkiwi (now back in NZ)

Veteran

erm, stripy top yes, converse yes. It is so my go too outfit. Looks tidy, and is practical. I also have a denim skirt.

The Breton stripe does reflect my personality. Converse are more my style than high-tops.

Never did have a special diaper bag. I had this great roll thing that either went underneath the pram or in my handbag. I carry more with me now I have a 2.9 year old, than I did when I had a 3 month old!

Anonymous

This article was confusing. Her writing seems to imply that she prefers a more edgy look than most moms, but her outfit pictures look pretty ... normal? to me. Different items, maybe, but the formula is the same. She looks perfectly fine, but I wouldn't say she looks any more cutting-edge than a woman who wears Breton stripes and Cons.

Whatever. I'm so very over the hysteria about moms who have let themselves go vs. moms who are stylish. I am solidly in the mom of young kids crowd and spend plenty of time with women on all ends of the fashion spectrum. The people who cared about fashion before kids, still care about fashion. Those who never did, still don't. It's not as much of a "mom thing" as people make it out to be. That sort of criticism just really bugs me, and I wish I could better articulate why.

Ariadne

Veteran

Stacey, I'm with you 100%. It was a silly, lightweight article, and I'm still chuckling that she thinks a sweatshirt and Nikes is more fashion-forward than a Breton and Converse. I wear both looks often as FFBO "momiforms" and don't think of them as particularly amazingly fashion-forward. Sometimes I even wear Bretons WITH printed jeans WITH sneakers!

rachylou

Veteran

Now wait a second. Breton tops are totally the latest in fashion. Ok, I admit they've been the latest in fashion for the last 75 years, but whatever. Think about all those St. Jameses. Hipsters live in them and Chucks. I don't see how that's dowdy at all. Slightly unoriginal yes, but hardly frumpy.

Ariadne

Veteran

Exactly, rachy! I'm going to wear my faux-Breton and Cons tomorrow, I think. And if it rains, my waterproof hooded jacket.

Jeanie

Veteran

What is this mum coat that she is going on about? I can't picture it....perhaps I have one! I agree with Deborah. The tone of the article is not so nice. I think we should seek to uplift each other.

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