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Attempting a period of (almost) no shopping

April

Veteran

I know right - here come some gifting holidays, and she's going to stop shopping? (Plus Mr. April and LMA both have birthdays in December/January, so yikes.) I often buy special items for certain people year-round, so it's not like anyone won't have something.

I'm not going to any extremes, but I know I can get perfectionistic about gifts. "I have something already in my 'gift closet' that so-and-so would love, but there's a variation online they might love EVEN MORE..." Also, I could take a long break from wardrobe shopping for myself before I needed anything.

So, I'm stepping back, trying to send my "potential gifts" out into the world of actual gifts before purchasing any new ones, making as many gifts as I can, etc.

Anyone else trying something similar? Or taking a break from wardrobe shopping for yourself?

General

37 replies

Latest reply was from Joy

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

Oh dear, quite the opposite I’m afraid!

According to the stats I posted recently, I’ve averaged 17 items (including outer-, under-, swim-, fitness-, and footwear) per year for the last 5 years. My little buh-buy Berlin bonanza so far is
1 jacket
1 cardi
2 tops
2 skirts
And I still haven’t been to the second hand store that I think has good festive toppers. I’m asking for one of the sweaters Angie posted for Christmas too. Looks like I’ve brought the average up over 1.5/month. Sigh. There goes my cred. At least they’re all natural fibers & the cotton’s organic.

But on the “no-shopping” side, my son’s Christmas present is a trip to the notary public and guidance through the name change process, the dude is getting a NWT scarf I gave my son a few years ago, and (except for holiday decorations I sent a few people) I haven’t gotten a darn thing for anyone else!

But in a more normal year I could absolutely relate to mad calculations about the things I already had tucked away for various people.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

oooooh, April! What gifts are you making?

No new shopping strategies from my side. Keeping the status quo.

I never shop in December for myself, unless I'm on holiday and traveling! I do all my shopping up front. I've usually done all the Christmas shopping too. Presents are wrapped and under the tree Thanksgiving weekend. Occasionally I do a bit of shopping in January. By February when there is snow and ice on the ground, I'm ready to refresh for Spring and Summer

LJP

Veteran

December always makes me feel nauseous by the time it’s over . Spending all of this money and focusing so much time and energy on shopping and lists and ordering and shipping etc - I don’t like the version or myself that emerges during this time . With so many sales on , I start imagining I need and could use all of these clothes and boots and coats and bags ……and on and on . I don’t love my wardrobe at the moment , but I think it’s time to let it go for this winter and regroup . Gifting is fine though . I enjoy it and look forward to buying things for my family . Small family , small pleasures .

LJP

Veteran

Some of this might stem from the groceries and alcohol bill yesterday for a very small gathering I’m hosting tomorrow night . $200 at the liquor store made me want to barf .

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

Isn’t barfing usually *after* drinking?

Sloper

Veteran

DH and I have a very small gift-giving circle, and what with one thing and another we've been exchanging less and less over the years. We all just have enough "stuff" you know?

But I do enjoy the season very much - the colors, flavors, scents. Just try to restrain myself, especially with all the foods!

Fashion-wise I am certainly cutting back. It really works for me to just delete the retail emails, and if I do that, it's easier to not wander around websites. That said I did buy those Zara parachute pants yesterday

Helena

Veteran

Lisa, I hear you ... it's so stressful going to the grocery store! I can't imagine how it must be for people who were struggling to start with

No prezzies for us this year, except to give the offspring a bit of spending money ... our gift this year is the travel experience, and feeling incredibly grateful that we can do it.

As to shopping it's been a bit of a re-building year this year - so I've shopped a good bit the last few months, but I think for mostly workhorses that are very practical and will hang around a while.

Well done April using what you've got (and giving yourself a break from perfectionism!)

Dee

Veteran

LJP, I agree, this time of year always creates a certain anxiety in me. You’ve got the media pounding out messages of consumerism etc…so much pressure about gifts, dinners, decorations.

I’m definitely not buying as much as previous years, I want to cut back on shopping and my gifts are going to be fairly practical, but somehow I couldn’t resist a great deal on a grey cardigan for myself. It was exactly what I’d been searching for, so I caved.
So much for my good intentions.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

I do some of my holiday shopping early, whenever something strikes my fancy or seems ideal for a person -- and most of it late, as in the week before Christmas And I honestly like it that way. I enjoy spending a day or two in the shops (even busy ones, masked up, these days) and a day or so online, figuring out donations and gifts to send to distant friends. But I don't have a big list of recipients. Mr. Suz, the adult child and I fill stockings for each other and that's it. Of course, just because the items are small in size doesn't necessarily mean they are inexpensive but there is often some overlap, and we also do silly things, and home-made things. And a lot of "consumable" stuff -- a subscription to a cheese of the month club, for example.

This year, I also seem to be doing a LOT of clothing shopping in the past month -- however, most items have gone back.

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

Oh, yeah—stockings. Already have that set for my son. When he’s here, we’re going to a well-known Christmas market as a final goodbye, so we’ll get everybody else’s presents there.

Runcarla

Veteran

Having left money on the table the past few years, I spent right up to the amount I budget for my annual clothing allowance this year! No regrets.

I read a book called ‘Unplugging the Christmas Machine’ as a newlywed in the early ‘80’s. It left a lasting impression, and gave me the confidence to create a holiday that works for me and mine, and to change things up as required!

https://www.harpercollins.com/.....heli?varia

LJP

Veteran

I apologize for being a downer . I find this time of year tough emotionally and should know better than to let it all out . And no , SF , no one here , least of all me , is barfing after drinking .

Helena

Veteran

Lisa, you're not being a downer - you're being honest - and on topic since it's about shopping or not at this time of year! Just my two cents but I think you're representing what a lot of people are feeling this year!

jussie

Veteran

Yep it can get a bit over the top, so much spending in a short period of time. I try to set a budget and stick to it for gifts. It would be really nice to have more time to shop for gifts, so I could get more thoughtful, personalized things for people. Currently I am a bit prone to giving generic gifts: things like chocolates and hand cream as I am time-poor!
Also inflationary pressures have greatly increased the cost of food now which is unfortunate.
In terms of my own regular clothing spending, I stick to the same schedule as usual during the Christmas period, I don’t increase or decrease it.

Anonymous

Yep- I'm with you. I hate how consumerist Christmas is, and No One Needs More Stuff. I refuse to buy things that aren't practical, consumable, or experiences. My mom got tickets to a concert and a play. My dad got swim stuff he needed and was dawdling on ordering. DH and I don't buy each other gifts-we just order what we need.

I definitely have some things that need replacing, but don't see doing much beyond that for next year. I'm still actively decluttering my own stuff and mom's- which makes me loathe to bring in anything more.
#teamgrinch

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I do like taking shopping breaks now and then -- usually once or twice a year I'll dial it way back and avoid the forum and other fashion sources to reduce temptation. It helps me get off the treadmill.

This time of year can be a lot of pressure. My husband and I have sort of organically pared down our gift-buying and focus on experiences and making memories instead. But I know once grandkids come into the picture (it's being talked about!), all bets will be off and we'll be spoiling a little one with fab toys!

I do enjoy picking up little gifts for my closest friends and family. Ornaments that make me think of the recipient, fun snacks, humorous or pretty little artisan items from independent shops and artists, that are not high budget but just let someone know I'm thinking of them. I tend to buy these things throughout the year, when I find them, especially when I'm traveling. The kind of thing that you can give without anyone ever feeling like they owe you a gift in return. We also do some gift certificates for things like Goldbelly for our people who live far away.

The bad thing about buying these things year-round is that sometimes I forget what I've already bought, and then at Christmas I realize I have like half a dozen things for one person, LOL.

Bijou

Veteran

I love the idea of making Christmas presents too. My sister is an amazing cook and makes beautiful Christmas cakes to give as gifts.

Olive Green

Veteran

I love finding gifts for people all year and they get them immediately, lol. The suspense would kill me otherwise.
So Christmas is done, really, except for the food and drink, which I lay out with pleasure. Love catering a feast. Such richness! That is really my present to myself.
DH of the same mind, exactly. Thank goodness.

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

Janet, when I buy things throughout the year, I enter them in the calendar with the recipients name on Christmas Day. Then when I’m ready to wrap, I have a list of what’s for who—if I can remember where everything is!!

I’d love to move to fewer presents, but my family, driven by our mom, isn’t into it. Even if she does get someone tickets, she insists on getting something like a CD for them to unwrap. My son isn’t into giving presents or receiving them on a certain day. Once we aren’t celebrating in my parents home any more, we’ll probably travel over the holidays. I’d love it if that is a tradition once in a grandma.

Irina

Veteran

I find myself an odd one out - I used to love Boxing Day sales and looked forward to it. After anxiously searching and buying gifts for my family and friends, I enjoyed some retail therapy after Christmas.

There are so many sales now through a year that makes Boxing Day less special.

I bought less things and more consumables and experience type of gifts for my family this year.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

I'm with Suz, Olive Green, Sloper and Irina

I thoroughly enjoy the small amounts of Christmas shopping that I do in advance.

My spirits are lifted at the end of the year! It's a very fun time and I relax for the first time during the year. The last two weeks of Dec, I allow myself to switch off from work completely. No clients. No blog posts! I try to take a much needed short break.

We LOVE Christmas at the Cox Castle. December is magical because it's just Greg, Sam, Jo and me. We have a LOT of fun together as a tiny family. We don't have extended family really, anymore. And the few family members that are left live far, far away. We don't travel over the holidays unless we take the doggies with us. So that takes a lot of the pressure off. Our decorations are the same every year. No stress! And we put those up Thanksgiving weekend. It's a fun family day! Most of the presents under the tree are for Sam and Jo, so it's hardly a consumer frenzy. Presents for others are small and easy. We see our close American friends before Christmas and have small intimate dinners together. No gifts. Lots of opportunity to dress up though! We love hosting for them. (Pre-Covid, and now for the first time again this year - how refreshing!). We avoid the tourist crowds in Seattle, but we love the festive lights and ambiance. And I LOVE cooking and eating all our Christmas and New Year's yummies! It's relaxing. I can't wait to be off soon!!

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

Yikes, if I want your advice on the “use first” suitcase in my move, Angie, I’d better get packing! It’s fun to hear how fun your holidays are. Mine are going to get a lot smaller, and I’m not sure how they’ll go.

rachylou

Veteran

This is such a busy time of year for the bakery, I will do very little shopping. No one has given me their wishlists either. Stocking stuffers and a gift for my mom and Cormac for xmas morning. If my brother doesn’t come until New Year’s, I will hold off shopping for him. And everyone else is gonna wait a long, long time. I don’t plan on anything new to wear either. It’s just too crazy this year.

Sally

Veteran

I don’t shop much at Christmas. My extended family are overseas and in some ways that takes the pressure off. With an elderly mother I have had to take on a lot of responsibility for Christmas so I try to keep it simple. My son is into sport and not much else so his gear is all bought by his dad and i just give him fun outings etc. I just want to read my books and catch up on my movies/ tv during Christmas, so food that is easy to organise gets my vote.
I don’t think I have bought much this even from thrift shops. I’m going to do some reflection over the holidays and see what I need next year.

Zaeobi

(website)

Veteran

I shall join you for a No-buy December - I had some orders come through from November now but am already dragging my feet on packing them up to be returned, lol...

That said though, I *am* cheating slightly in that I don't celebrate Xmas My birthday is in January though & Chinese New Year is around then too, but I already bought DH his present this summer (a chess themed shirt!)

Gift giving wasn't a big deal for me growing up (we'd often regift, & cash in a card counts as a cultural appropriate 'gift' for us haha). Friends were usually frugal with my birthday too (since it's right after Christmas, meaning everyone is broke :P) but I do miss finding Boxing Day deals! Instead, I buy whenever I see something special, & gift it on DH's birthday / our 2 anniversaries / when I fly home to see family. That's plenty of occasions for me!

Sal

Veteran

There are a lot of emotions around Christmas and shopping and spending, it's complex!

I am on a no-shopping for clothing for me period. I purchased a dress on the 1st of Nov and am holding off anything else til 2023. But I am still shopping for gifts and a few other things.

I am always conflicted between wanting to support my favourite retailers and between not spending too much, nor accumulating too much.

I don't tend to buy gifts too far in advance, but we also don't purchase too many. I have been doing a lot of travel for various things lately (in NZ) and so my money is being spent there.

I find a bit of a shopping ban really helpful in terms of making me use what I have and think about what I really need. I tend to switch around when it is every year depending on what we have on for the year.

April

Veteran

Wow, so many things I want to respond to!

Christmas for me growing up was a big deal, and it was also my grandfather's birthday. My mother would host the extended family for midday Christmas dinner at our small house, and then around 5 pm the whole thing would shift into Grandpa's birthday party.

I heard a useful rule of thumb for avoiding spending a lot of money on a lot of (junky) toys for the little ones. You can limit gifts to
Something they want
Something they need
Something to wear
And something to read

My son was raised with Jewish traditions so we didn't have to worry much about a mountain of presents except on his birthday. Mr. April was raised in a Jewish family as well - a family that didn't celebrate anything in a major way and weren't particularly observant either. Needless to say, both son and husband love the festivity of Christmas beyond all reason, now that we've decided to celebrate whatever makes us happy. I'll put something on the Off Topic thread about how we're doing Chanukah this year.

I am nodding along vigorously to everyone saying they get caught up in the end of year sales frenzy, and/or the lemming tendency when a YLFer posts something amazing.

Thank you all for responding thoughtfully and with some detail!

April

Veteran

Angie, some of my relatives are huge fans of fruitcake (not the kind my Grandma used to make out of sawdust and jujubes, always burnt) so I always make at least two and mail them.

I make a lot of clove fruits (apples, oranges, etc.) this time of year and this year I discovered that small pears work great and look like little Christmas trees when finished. A few of those will become gifts.

I also do some hand bookbinding, and am using circuit boards that Mr. A doesn't need anymore as the covers of a notebook for a friend's new son-in-law. That one's not finished yet but I need to get busy on it.

But perhaps my best homemade gift followed a laundry disaster. I washed a load of white towels with my white terry robe, which had a tube of my darkest shade of lipstick in the pocket. "Berry Parisienne" then went through the dryer as well and melted onto all the whites. But, the shiny gold lipstick case was clean as a whistle after its little tumbling sauna, so I bought some flavored lip balm, removed the stick of balm from its tube, and filled the empty lipstick case with the lip balm. This is for my five-year-old friend who visited this summer, because everyone knows it's way more fun to have some boring old lip balm if it looks like a fancy gold lipstick...

Jenni NZ

Veteran

I feel like rather a Grinch for about a decade on this topic. We started giving Christmas money instead of gifts in 2013, at which point our children were 22, 20 and 17. Our son at 17 already had the personality of preferring money to gifts, as I had begun failing to choose what he liked when he was 13/14, and the girls were at the point of preferring to choose for themselves as well. And about the same time the extended family stopped giving to each other with my in-laws being in late 70s/early 80s and really really not needing material things to clutter their house more. Now 10 years on with them 91 and 86 even more so. I dread clearing that house when they are gone.
We get together with the extended family for a festive meal but no gifts are exchanged. Last year I did buy for baby granddaughter. This year she has been taken to Vietnam for 5 weeks so the other grandmother (who did not meet the baby until she was 16 months of age) can have a well-deserved turn. But that grandmother is Buddhist so I suspect Christmas will not be celebrated particularly.
Sometimes my husband and I choose something we want and “give” it to each other. I have long felt there was too much commercialism around this time so do not mind no gifts. I used to have a hard time choosing gifts for my staff year after year and now I have sold the practice in 2021 ( although I still work there) I do not have to, yay!

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