Ask Angie: Wedding wear advice needed

I will be getting re-married in a month or so, and it will be a really private affair with only 4 guests and ourselves. I am in my early 50es and my husband-to-be will be wearing a navy suit - which pretty much sums him up (lol). He is very conservative, and that is okay with me. I like to vary my looks but I am not the one to break down any fashion barriers myself. Also, I don't really know if I should just try to find something in my closet or if I should get an "outfit" for the occasion, and if so, what should I be looking for? I am 30 lbs overweight but very tall so they are fairly reasonably distributed. My problem areas are my chest and waist. My legs are great! Is it vanity to want to purchase something? If not, what do you suggest? I would prefer to purchase online if you have any suggestions for some good sources that also carry larger sizes. Also, any other suggestions in terms of accessories, etc. I am as tall as the groom so I don't know if I should wear heels or not (an eternal conundrum for me). Any advice is appreciated.

11 years ago

Liz

Veteran

NO, IT IS NOT VAIN TO WANT A NEW DRESS FOR YOUR WEDDING!!

Oh wait...was I yelling there? : )

GO BUY A DRESS!!

Anonymous

This is Angie's super busy time, so she might not be able to answer your question right away. I am sure we can sort you out though. What are you envisioning? What stores and styles do you like? Where are you located?

I say buy a dress, not vain at all.

Suz

(website)

Lisbet, welcome. I'm not Angie, but I wanted to let you know that this is one of her busiest weeks with clients in the year, so she may not be able to answer your question immediately.

In the meantime, congratulations on your upcoming marriage! I absolutely do NOT think it is "vanity" to want a new dress for this extremely important occasion. Of course you want to look your best and have happy memories -- not to mention the fact that there will probably be photos of some kind. You have every right and reason to go out and buy the nicest dress within your budget. (If a woman can't indulge herself a bit at her wedding, when else???)

one of our other members, Viva, recently renewed her wedding vows. So -- not exactly your situation, but similar. She bought a beautiful dress for the occasion -- very simple, but absolutely perfect.

It sounds as if you may have an IT or apple body type? Have you looked at Angie's guidelines for styles? And apple here.

In terms of stores, where are your located? If in the US, then beginning with Nordstrom's would not hurt!

Meredith

Yes, buy a dress! Of the fashion preferences you list in your profile are there any in particular you'd like to emphasize on your wedding day?

Susie

By all means you should buy a new dress for this very special occasion!!!

I believe a vee neckline (not too low) would be flattering. And how about a lightweight, flowy skirt to swish around those pretty legs? A small kitten heel would look dressy without adding much height.

What is your favorite color? Do you like lace?

Kristin L

If you want a new dress, then go for it! It's your wedding and there's not vain about wanting something special for it. As for shoes, I'd go with what makes you the most comfortable.

Lisbet

Active Member

Thank you all.

Yes, alright alright. You have collectively convinced me - lol.

I live in Vancouver, Canada and could border-hop to get something from a U.S. store, such as Nordstrom. Normally, I get my deals at L.L. Beans and Winners as well as Addition-Elle, since I am 5'10" and size 16 (plus sized). I have looked at Talbots and there is a pure white lace dress that I thought might be appropriate. Or should I wear a 2 piece cream suit with a a light blue silk camisole?

I could go for either a dress or a pretty suit, probably in cream. I wore a cream Victorian lace dress for my first wedding, white midi length linen Jessica McClintock for my second but yes, this is my 3rd time around. Maybe you understand better why I cringe at the thought of going "wedding dress" shopping again.

I do have a cream classic sling-back and a cream small elegant Dior "evenng" purse with gold chain that I could use. I bought a triple row pearl necklace that sits not too low.

Susie: the V-neck would be great if I found a cream suit jacket that doesn't even require a top underneath, and a cream lace skirt. I don't MIND wearing white as long as it is not looking like I am trying to look too young or too "virginal". And it would require me to get shoes and a purse. Maybe a pastel shoe would be cute (something blue) and a simple white straw purse to tuck under my arm. I hope I am not rambling, just sharing some of my initial thoughts.

If you have any other online or live shops you can recommend for these purchases, great. If you look up Talbots white lace dress, let me know what you think. I bought it but have no idea how it will look on me. Of course, no one can tell me that, but if you like the dress, and how to accessorize it, I would love it.

This is my first day here, and I want to thank you all. It looks like an amazing website, great blogs, and great forum. Which reminds me, I don't think I will be able to see any photos for the first 3 days here.

rabbit

Congratulations! and welcome

My two cents is that I don't think you need to wear a wedding dress or a cream/white dress if you don't want to, or go through an elaborate wedding dress hunt or spend a lot. But definitely buy something that makes you feel happy and special wearing it.

I had a very small outdoor wedding and bought a casual white cotton dress second-hand for under 20$ that I loved. My sister in law also did a small justice-of-the peace ceremony for her wedding and wore a pale blue sheath dress. I'd keep in mind colors that flatter you and feel celebratory, and then go from there. A few flowers and it feels 'wedding-y'

If you like cream there are a fair amount of toppers and skirts in that color in stores now (many marked down before the fall items come in), so it's a good time to look.

MsMaven

I suggest you don' t think in terms of traditional wedding wear or even wedding wear. Do you have as favorite color? Does he? I say you get to reinvent yourself and your wedding outfit. New life,new partner, new adventure.

I do think it is important to buy something new for the ocassion.

Freckles

I you love white or cream by all means go with that but if you love something else check it out too. When I was plus sized plus size dresses were always miles too big on me. Does this happen to you? Would you feel comfortable wearing any of the items mentioned above after the wedding and if so one more than the other. I believe a wedding is the perfect excuse to indulge our dreams so say go for it.

Thank you all for great input. To Ms. Maven and Rabbit, I agree with you that I don't really need to go for white or cream. If I do fit well into the white Talbots dress (bought at 60% off for $76) I might dye it in coffee afterwards. Otherwise, I could get a lot of use out of a cream 2-piece skirt suit since I already have the cream accessories. For white, I will get a pair of white or nude patent slingbacks with a kitten heel. Can always use them as well. Then I will get a cheap clutch from Charming Charlie (great selection of really inexpensive accessories - and a great fancy clutch selection).
I will tie a very casual bouquet of a couple of stems of lilies and/or roses and a couple of hosta leaves. Thank you all.

I'm sure it will all come together and you will look lovely, Lisbet.

One final thought, in addition to white or nude shoes, you might want to consider a metallic, either a cool silver or pewter (nice with white) or more of a gold or bronze tone (works well with cream.) Metallics continue to be popular and they look festive without being too dressy, meaning they are not limited to 'occasion' wear and can be a quite versatile addition to your wardrobe.

Best of luck with everything!

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