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Ask Angie & other confident shoppers: How do you decide you've found it?

April

Veteran

I am completely resolved to stop settling for "ok" and start holding out for what's just right in my wardrobe. But I'm asking those of you who do this well: what you are doing?

Do you wait for an aha moment, do you check a number of boxes -- how do you know you've found the item that gets to go home with you?

General

31 replies

Latest reply was from Barbara Diane

Sal

Veteran

Very good question.....

If I am honest with pieces I consider a 100% success

- the blue dress, and gold bomber were impulse thrift buys (but I zeroed in on them quickly)
- the camel boots, black sheath, black floral dress and black jumpsuit were spotted in advertising/editorial, hunted down and I knew they were winners
- the duck egg blue jacket was very much a maybe even on the forum but has been a total winner.....

My mistakes happen usually with replacements or essentials eg I want a pair of mid wash blue jeans. I try on 6 pairs in the shop - I pick the best of the bunch - but I should have been more fussy..... I don't have an answer to this one though.

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Runcarla

Veteran

The heavens open, and the angels sing!

It is a combination of ‘this fits like it was made for me’ and ‘d@#% I look good!’ Like Sal I’ve had this kind of luck with my thrifted black wool jacket, a white shift dress (also a HEWI), a red linen sleeveless dress, and a leather purse. Also my last pair of jeans and my black combat style boots.

Toban

Veteran

What Runcarla said ^^. It fits awesome and you feel good in it. I’d also add that it’s when I can immediately picture how it mixes and matches in my wardrobe and when I can’t wait to wear it as soon as possible. If it takes too much work to make it work for me or doesn’t fit my lifestyle ... I just say next. I keep a small wardrobe and almost every item has periods of heavy wear.

Anonymous

There's just a "click" in my mind when it's right. Like falling in love with the right person! All doubt disappears.

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

I try something on that I know is a hit and then try it on and see if I get the same feeling of rightness.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

What the others said. It's a feeling, a "click" of rightness. Often the main indicator is fit. When it fits as if it was made for you, well....maybe you should listen.

Like Sal, I've made the worst mistakes in trying to replace worn out essentials. I look and look and look and really have a need and can therefore sometimes convince myself that the not-quite-right is good enough.

Sometimes it is good enough, in the sense that it truly is essential and so a good-enough replacement is okay until I find a better option, because otherwise other great pieces will languish for want of this completer.

This business of waiting for the "click" explains why it takes a long time to build a fantastic working wardrobe.

rachylou

Veteran

You know, that’s a deep question. I think you have to know what you really want and need, which takes some thought before hand. Because you can try something on and look fantastic, but then never reach for it because you didn’t want a dinner dress... you wanted a dog-walking outfit...

Suz

(website)

Veteran

ETA: a few more thoughts.

I know my needs / desires before I shop. What's missing? What do I feel I need (and don't have) when I'm trying to put together outfits? How do I want to look and what pieces are necessary to achieve that look?

At the same time, I stay open to the wild cards. (They often turn out to be game changers.)

As others have said, if I can immediately imagine a bunch of outfits with this item and see myself wearing it in different contexts, that is a really good sign.

A few of my "absolute right, I know I'm buying (or keeping) this" purchases over the years. As I went through my Finds I realized almost ALL of them would qualify. But these are pieces I felt instantaneously YES about. Some are essentials or completers. Some are statements. Some I may have asked the forum about, but even if I did come for K/R advice I was probably really asking everyone to love my beautiful thing with me.

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taylor

Veteran

It usually happens like this:
I see the item..I gasp just a bit. I touch the item , If the fabric is excellent I move to the quality . I quickly check the price to make sure everything makes sense , perhaps it’s on sale. Then I will try it on. If I LOVE the fit.... and I must love the fit , then I know

Visual love, fabric , quality and fit , and am I willing to pay that price. If those things fall into place, I usually buy.
I’m a bit of an impulse shopper , but I have found some of my favorite and BEST pieces just browsing

Gigi

Veteran

As Suz mentions above, part of the equation for me is knowing what I am looking for before I shop. I mostly shop online, and I am generally looking for specific things. To find out what these specific things are, I do a lot of browsing of fashion week photos and that sort of thing online. Then, once I know the kind of thing I want to add to my closet, I go looking for it.

When I try the item on, I will have the reaction others have mentioned above: Wow! This looks amazing! The fit is perfect, and the item looks good on me. I can build outfits with the item. And I have the desire to wear the item as soon as possible.

Jane

Veteran

It is a feeling at first as others have said but then a practical thought process. It is definitely easier when I’m not pushed into buying something immediately because I need it. It is also definitely easier when I’m relaxed. DH is the last hurdle. I only show him things when I’m unsure and his first reaction I take.

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

You know, I’m a little worried about this for the coming year as I have a list for the first time ever. The way I want to approach it is not “ok, wide-legged pants, have to find a pair of them” but more to go ahead and browse and then, when something appeals to me, that’s when I’ll consult the list to see if I can use it. In all honesty, I have the list in my head, won’t need to pull out the phone, but I still want to keep that order of events.

Cardiff girl

Veteran

when I go shopping I always try and wear something that I feel really good in,do my hair and makeup then when I am trying things on it’s a case of,does it look /feel as good as the clothes I came out in and does it look as if I already owned it.If I put something on and I am not sure or I am trying to make it work then it’s a no.Its taken me a long time to work this out!

Anonymous

First, can I afford it! If that’s ok then next step is does it fit right and feel comfortable. If that is ok then the final step is deciding does it look good on me, and am I happy to wear it. If it passes those tests then it gets bought.

Style Fan

Veteran

I have a shopping list but I am flexible. I had been looking for a long winter coat, preferably olive, for a few years. When I tried on the Lululemon puffer last year it felt right. It looked good, it was a great olive colour and the reviews were excellent. There was another puffer competing with it that was less expensive but the Lululemon won out. I felt better when I put it on. Mr SF agreed with my decision.
Same with my new olive boots. They had been on my list for a few years. They felt so good on and were the perfect colour so I just knew they were coming home with me.
I have bought things that were not on my list but I knew they were just right for my wardrobe. My Sarah Pacini olive sweater is one of those. I saw it, tried it on and bought it. It has earned its keep.

These are the things that I have realized about my shopping.
When I try on a piece I feel good in it.
I don't look at something about the piece and wish it was something else. For example, I don't look at the sleeves and wish they were longer, or straighter, or something else. I like the piece for what it is.
The piece fits into my wardrobe without needing a lot of help. I don't need to go out and buy more pieces.
It fits really well. There may be alterations needed but in general, the fit is good.
I can see myself wearing the piece for a few years. I keep my clothes for a long time.
No dry clean only. Back it goes!!!! Wool coats and blazers are an exception. Of course, I rarely buy those anymore.
I stick to my colour palette. Olive, cream, ivory, chocolate brown, cognac, denim and a tiny bit of burnt orange. Sometimes I add some black but in small doses.

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April

Veteran

I'm impressed by how well you know yourselves and how articulately you describe your processes!

There are some talented wardrobe-crafters here.

Helena

Veteran

I am going to be the outlier ... I have no such process haha! I am more likely to gauge an item's success when I get home, based on how quickly I want to pull the tags off and start wearing it ... I suspect it's that difference between what a piece/outfit looks and feels like irl vs a photo ... It doesn't matter how great the selfie is, if I feel off in the grocery store lineup, I don't want to wear whatever it is.

Not very helpful except to say, give yourself grace! It's art more than science as far as I can tell.

Anonymous

This is an great question. I enjoyed reading the responses. For me the answer is very simple. As RunCarla wrote, It is a combination of ‘this fits like it was made for me’ and ‘d@#% I look good!’ I have to add one more factor, it feel wonderful against my body.

To summarize.
1. It is something I actually need in my wardrobe (rarely an impulse buy).
2. It fits me fabulously.
3. I feel really good wearing it from an aesthetic point of view.
4. The fabric feels wonder against my skin.

nemosmom

Veteran

Another outlier here, LOL! Lots of really great advice here, though. I am taking notes!

Anonymous

A Very high try to buy ratio, probably about 40 to 1. Apologies to store clerks! To me it's by feel mostly. If I put something on and it feels right straightaway, it will probably come home with me!

Sisi

Veteran

I do not consider myself a confident shopper at all ... .That said, it is something instinctive for me. I try on something and dang! I immediately feel happy. In most cases this will become a workhorse.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

A little bit of what a lot of former posts have said!

Two tests:

1) I walk away and leave the item behind. Particularly if it’s pricey. If it sticks in my head for hours or even days, I go back. If it’s there I try it again and if it’s still everything I thought, it goes home with me. If it’s gone it wasn’t meant to be. I’ve had occasional regrets for things that sold out but not many.

2) I get the item and take it home. It’s perhaps a little outside of my comfort zone or a little different for me. But the return policy is friendly. If I can make multiple outfits with it and want to wear it right away, or within the first week or so (weather, activities etc can be a factor), I consider it a win. If it languishes for a couple of weeks or more, and I find excuses not to wear it, it should go back.

April

Veteran

Your #1 is the way I approach antiques, Janet. If it's still in my head a couple of days later, it usually comes home with me. Very smart to do this with clothing as well.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Sweet April, I wish I could be succinct and helpful about my answer. But once the item has followed me home - which is in itself a great hurdle to cross! - I rely heavily on my emotions - (must have high happiness factor) - to tell me yay or nay after assessing the usual:

fit, comfort, flattery, practicality, fuss-factor, modesy-factor
remix ability (I am big on remixing old with new)
does it reflect my chosen style adjectives and style moniker

When I am unsure, I ask Greg and Sam

Liesbeth

Veteran

Here to say many of these tips are great - but you will still make mistakes. I have left stuff at the store and regretted it after it sold out (though not very often) and I have had things that 'clicked' turn out less comfortable or practical than I thought and become benchwarmers... I do hope with practice and sel-reflection (and the help of you guys!) to get better at this though!

April

Veteran

You and me both, Liesbeth.

Jenni NZ

Veteran

I am with you and Liesbeth. And also with Janet. The best items I walk away. This is usually in fairly local B and M stores. If it plays on my mind, I go back. If it’s gone, it wasn’t meant for me. Even then mistakes can be made, but successes are increasing thanks to both tracking and to all of you at YLF. I have seldom regretted leaving something in the store.

UmmLila (Lisa)

Veteran

My most hated shopping experience is when I find something I really like and wear, and then other things similar to it keep popping up, and they are somehow a tiny bit better.

This happens to me often if I am shopping for a coming season and have something in mind, I find it and then more pieces come available further into the season.

Jenni NZ

Veteran

It’s a pain to have to go twice, but the reason I have been doing it is because I have too large a wardrobe and I want to wear it all. And doh!- if I buy something new I won’t wear something older as much. So it needs to jump a high hurdle to be allowed in. The olive boots I would like are not yet turning up as they can’t be just any old olive boots.

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