Ask Angie: (In a no-shoes house), does mismatched socks or barefoot look tackier?

I think is a question for Miss Manners At my own home, I would go barefoot. In someone else's home, I think it can feel a little personal.

10 years ago

Anonymous

Neither is as tacky as surprising a guest by insisting they remove their shoes.

10 years ago

psychedelicate

(website)

Active Member

It's a cultural thing. Where I live, every single home is a no-shoes home and people also change shoes at the office when they arrive, etc. Personally, I see nothing rude about not wanting street dirt all over your house, although I think it is best to provide slippers.

10 years ago

MrsK

Active Member

I don't think either is tacky, but I would think it was weird to see bare feet at a time of year when it would be too cold outside for sandals. If it's sandal weather, then I think bare feet is fine.

(Side note: where I live (Vancouver, Canada) the norm is that shoes are removed in homes. So it wouldn't be tacky (or a surprise) to ask that shoes are removed. It would be expected. I think this might be a Canadian thing? I know I was surprised when I first heard that people commonly wear shoes inside the house in the US.)

10 years ago

Anonymous

Canadian too. It has been my experience that my friends and family (and me) remove our shoes and wear bare feet or slippers when visiting each other. But if I attend a house or dinner party, we keep our shoes on. In the thick of winter, we wear our boots and change into the shoes to match the outfit. And these are shoes I have worn outside.

I have never been asked to remove my shoes, nor would I ask someone for a few hrs of socializing. But I have seen a basket of slippers, so I got the hint and wore them.

I would be a little insulted if asked

10 years ago

UmmLila (Lisa)

Veteran

I always thought it was a Thai thing, and I adopted the idea from friends when I had a baby since she was all over the floor. I wrote to an advice columnist about it since I found many people were resistant to it, and she told me to keep a basket of nice socks by the door for guests. This works except that the now 15 year old baby raids the fluffy sock basket!

My biggest issues with the shoes off policy are workmen who are shocked to learn that I don't want their muddy shoes in my house. I had major words with a very dirty chimney cleaner on the topic!

10 years ago

Anonymous

While it may be common in some cultures, it's certainly popular world wide. In my home family members change their shoes when they come in. In extreme circumstances I might show a visitor where they can wipe their feet and if they volunteer to take their shoes off that's great, but I have never asked anyone to take them off. I expect to do a little extra cleaning before and after I have visitors.
And I would not want to wear someone else's "guest socks"!
I would've gone with the mismatched socks.

10 years ago

Peri

Veteran

I'm with Isabel. I have trouble with this practice because of foot issues and not being able to go shoeless without pain. I do understand about people not wanting dirt in their houses, but I'd hope for a little understanding if I was someone's guest as I would not likely show up with actual mud. I'm married to an Asian and I would still expect (and get) leniency from his family. As in all things, moderation. If someone did not understand my need for shoes I would not be likely to visit a second time.

10 years ago

Echo

Veteran

I don't understand the question. If I am able to look for socks, I am clearly at home, in which case of course there would be a matching pair somewhere. If I were at a guest's home and had brought socks with me, then those would be a matching pair since I had put them in my bag. If my host insisted that I take socks out of a sock basket and there weren't any that matched it would not matter because the host would want me to wear them regardless of whether they matched or not.

So exactly where would you be, or what situation would you be in where you were able to look for socks, but unable to find a matching pair, and where you wondered whether barefoot would be preferable? I've been turning this over in my head and I cannot imagine the scenario in which this would happen.

10 years ago

Anonymous

In my circle of friends and family we have always removed our shoes upon entering each others homes. I either go barefoot or bring slippers or socks. When my DD was a teen a couple of years ago, wearing mismatched socks was very popular. I feel wearing a mismatched pair of socks looks better than naked feet, unless of course the feet are really pretty.

As for workmen entering the home, I always put a drop cloth down for them to walk on, but lately have found that almost everyone workman that has entered my home in the past few years wear disposable booties.

10 years ago

Jules

Veteran

I can only picture someone who generally doesn't wear socks (habitual flip flop or sandal wearer) and doesn't have a lot of socks, who finds themselves visiting a home that is shoes off. Although I am Canadian and understand and expect shoes-off homes 3 out of 4 seasons, I do have a somewhat similar issue in the summer at my in-laws because she wants shoes off AND does not like bare feet on her carpeted floors. I generally don't wear socks in summer so it's an issue. In her case, she would just be happy her guests brought socks and not offended if the socks did not match!

10 years ago

psychedelicate

(website)

Active Member

UmmLila, what about providing workers with hospital-style booties they can slip over their shoes?

10 years ago

Anonymous

Upon re-reading, I saw the question differently. I'm thinking you're at their house, you weren't wearing socks, and they're offering you some from their basket of guest socks which is made up of singles from pairs of which they've lost one.
Hahahahahaha! It just gets better. Not happening. Bare feet.

10 years ago

cloud9

Veteran

If you know ahead of time the house you are visiting has shoes-off policy, then just bring a clean indoor only pair slippers. Even for the hot summer still no bare feet allowed ones, one can bring flip flops? I personally think it's just good manners not to expect others to break their habit just to accommodate someone else, applies to both the indoor shoe wearer/guest and the host.

My BIL's SIL does this and she brings the fanciest and prettiest slipper ever, complete with a cute decorated basket to carry it in. :).

10 years ago

MsMary

Veteran

These threads always make me happy I live in sunny So Cal, where shoeless houses are rare!

10 years ago

LindsayH627

Active Member

Isabel, is that because you think that mismatched socks would be tackier than bare feet?

10 years ago

Jules

Veteran

If the host is offering you mismatched socks from a basket they have for the express purpose of sock-ing barefoot guests, then they probably prefer the mismatched socks, no?
Now tell us, did this scenario actually happen to you?

10 years ago

LindsayH627

Active Member

I was hosting a party at my own house (which is a no-shoes house) and was unable to find a matching pair of socks at the time, and thought that bare feet would look less tacky than socks of mismatched color. Which do you think?

10 years ago

catgirl

Veteran

Not tacky here - it's expected that you take off your shoes. We have extra slippers or I lend people socks, and often people bring their own. Too cold for bare feet!

This hangs by our front door.

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10 years ago

Louise

Veteran

I think you would need to give the guest the choice of bare feet or mismatched socks. I hate cold feet so would prefer mis matched socks however if you're expecting people to remove their shoes, in my personal view you need to make sure people are aware of your no shoes rule and encourage them to bring slippers. I would personally also ensure I had some matched socks available and possibly some slippers as it may make some people uncomfortable to have to go bare footed or mis matched socks. I'd go socks but would be unhappy if they were mis matched and I hadn't been warned about the rule x

10 years ago

Laura (rhubarbgirl)

(website)

Veteran

Spinoff question: do some people wait to match their socks until right before they wear them? I safety pin my socks together when I take them off, so they're easy to sort when they come out of the laundry, but before I did that I always sorted them when I was putting up the laundry.

10 years ago

Anonymous

If I came to your no shoes house and you were wearing mismatched socks I'd think you'd been busy getting things ready for your guests rather than fooling around with your laundry, no harsh judgement.
If you were barefoot and everyone else was wearing socks because of the season I might wonder if you were cold but that's it.

10 years ago

DonnaF

Veteran

DD NEVER wears matching socks. She wears the sneaker ones that are sold by the dozen at Costco. I rather think she prefers that they don't match. They keep turning up in all kinds of odd places. Maybe you have one or two of hers?

10 years ago

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