Ask Angie: How do I learn to shop (and like it)? - YouLookFab Forum

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Ask Angie: How do I learn to shop (and like it)?

Tsobs10

Unfortunately, I was not born with that female gene! Honestly! I absolutely abhor shopping, if I go past a store and if I like it on a mannequin, I buy it (even if its wrong for me). My previous question on to start a new wardrobe, I got the haircut in March and going to get new undergarments (per Angie). How do I start shopping? Should I shop instore or online shop? Do I start with pants or shirt or accessories? What colors go together (I am usually, black, white grey). When I was younger, I would just "borrow" my sis' clothes (she worked at clothing stores) UGH!

Shopping

16 replies

Latest reply was from lyn*

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Number 1: Deep breath.

Number 2: Check the home page for the RULES. You'll see it stated there:

Rule Number One: Have fun with fashion! THERE ARE NO OTHER RULES.

So, let's begin. Once you've got your hair in order, and your underwear, and you know your body type, here is what I would do.

Identify a couple of your own favourite colours; ones you think look good on you or you have received compliments for wearing. If you like, snap a picture and ask the forum. Sometimes it is difficult to tell skin tone from photos taken in artificial light, but we aim to please!

Identify three or four clothing items that you'd like to start with. In your case, since you've been in jeans and sweats, how about some better fitting, better quality dark denim jeans, a couple of basic tops, and a nice cardigan or jacket?

Look at what is out there. Look at the WIW posts here, pay attention to the women's body types; you can learn a lot about what might work for you. Look at some magazines. Look in store windows without buying. Go into a store and make a deliberate point of trying on a whole bunch of different styles without the intent to buy. Leave without spending anything (if you can!) Pay attention to texture, cut, drape—what makes you feel comfortable or happy? What makes you feel awkward or out of your element?

Also, ask here: if you know your body type, ask for jeans recommendations for that body type. If you want a red cardigan, ask if anyone has seen a nice one.

You can do this. It feels overwhelming, I know. I started from a similar place. But you will amaze yourself with your new style in no time!

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

I have to run, but will chime back in on this thread, Tsobs!

Suz, YOU ROCK!!

nancylee

Veteran

A good place to start is by considering your day-to-day life and what kind of clothes it requires. You'll see a lot of talk on YLF about "capsule" wardrobes...this just means a collection of items that work well together for a certain aspect of your life: work capsule, casual events capsule, formal events/parties capsule, running errands capsule....you get the idea.

Everyone's life is different, so we each need somewhat different wardrobes. It's easy to just start buying items that you're attracted to but that don't really function in your life. (for example, I have many more cocktail dresses than my life actually requires!)

Think about questions like: whether you prefer pants to dresses/skirts, or whether you like to be more polished/dressy or casual. You can click on Angie's Team X and Team Y quizzes to help narrow your preferences.

I know these suggestions won't necessarily make you start to enjoy shopping, but knowing your needs and preferences will help focus you...and that, in turn, can make the whole experience more enjoyable.

znip

I don't really like shopping either and I have found that I prefer to a) shop online and b) narrow things down very specifically. Following what Suz suggested above, I might, for example decide I want a silk blouse in red (or straight leg jeans in a dark wash). Usually I go to shopstyle.com and it can pull red silk blouses from all over the internet. I find it really helps cut through the (online) "shopping" time and I don't have to wade through tons and tons of online stores.

rachylou

Veteran

I like getting things. I don't like the shopping - the schlepping, the trying on, the wait at the register. I have a general policy now - only one to two stores a day. I window shop a lot, to know what's out there, while walking my dog or online. That makes it easier when I do go into a store.

I don't do much actual buying online, because of the logistics (difficult to receive packages that require signature, difficult to return, disappointing when something comes and is awful).

missvee

Veteran

I'd say don't try to get too much at once - it seems like an impossible task to buy a whole wardrobe. Maybe start with one outfit and make use of the sales staff to 'fetch and carry' so that you're not constantly getting dressed again to hunt out a different size. Try to complete it - shoes, jewelry, scarf, whatever you need - before you start the next one. That way you have a "success" under your belt, and you may feel more confident about the whole process. You'll gradually get to know what fits and suits you, and shopping won't be as daunting. Good luck and post your outfit!!

afterism

Learning how to shop will make you enjoy it more.

I didn't enjoy shopping either: nothing ever worked on me, I would finish exhausted, my feet would hurt, etc.

Two things changed:

1. YLF - I had a better idea of what would work for me & the confidence to try on different things & imagine how they would work with the rest of my wardrobe.

2. I realised I didn't have to do the entire shopping centre in one hit. Now I just do one or two stores & I'm done for the day.

Learning to enjo shopping is a bit like making shopping painless for a guy. Have a mission & get it over with quickly & efficiently

Kristine

Veteran

I've spent most of my life not enjoying shopping, but I'm starting to have fun with it. I still shop with very specific goals and that helps.

Have you thought about making an appointment with a personal shopper? Maybe just schedule one large trip in fall and one in spring.

Queen Mum

Veteran

what is it about shopping that you don't like? I think to figure out how to start "enjoying" the process, you need to know what it is that keeps you from enjoying it.

I know.. you're probably thinking EVERYTHING! but try to think through it.

catgirl

Veteran

Also, do you think it would help to shop with a friend? I have friends who hate shopping but like to go with me because I always find them something - and that makes for a happy trip! When you enjoy it, you tend to have better shopping karma too...

annagybe

(website)

Veteran

Think of the end goal. "I'll look fabulous at event A, B, C wearing X, Y, Z." That's how I shop.

sarah

Veteran

I'm with you. I don't really like to shop, either. But I think that Queen Mum has a great point - it's useful to think about WHY you don't like to shop. I don't like to shop because I have very limited time outside of work, and when I'm shopping, I feel guilty that I'm not with my family, so I'm always extremely rushed. I'm always trying to sneak it in late at night, or quickly on precious weekend time...

I also feel like I don't always know where to start, so it helps to get to know a few stores very well.

But what is it that makes you dislike shopping?

Ornella

(website)

Veteran

I hope this will help, in particular 3, 4 and 5.

Sveta

(website)

Veteran

You have received great advice so far but I would like to add another angle here.
Another way to master shopping is to start with your closet. You have to look with a new eye on everything you own and ruthlessly decide which items you like and what should go. It may be intimidating at first but I found this the best shopping inducing drug for me! When you have a clear idea what you should keep and see all this empty space in your closet ( I culled 80% of my stuff ) - believe me, shopping is a natural step after that.
You would see what are the holes which you need to fill so shopping will have a clear purpose.
BTW, this forum is a great place to post pictures and ask advice about keeping or culling old stuff - this is what got me going last year!
Good luck and remember: we are here to help!

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Such great advice from our wise forum members!

Tsobs, I was going to ask what Queen Mum asked: what is it about shopping that you don't enjoy and we will work from there.

Also, if you can muster up a fun shopping buddy, that will also help

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

So much good advice!

I'd add in - don't try to do too much stuff at once! Shopping can be very tiring work! You should definitely plan to stop for dinner or dessert or coffees at a favorite cafe!