Ask Angie et all-Harumpf! (changing style frustration) - YouLookFab Forum

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Ask Angie et all-Harumpf! (changing style frustration)

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

I know that Angie mentioned she sees my style changing, and I do too- but I'm not sure how to articulate that or shop for it. (Angie- any advice or clarity on this?)
I think because of that change (in part at least) I am having a horrible time shopping. Today, I managed to get to a few stores with the goal of coming home with either the perfect pair of nude wedge sandals or one summer top. I didn't manage to find either (or maybe I did and I left them there!). I'm going to try and make it to one of my favorite outlet malls tomorrow since most of the stores will be open and I have expiring coupons, but I need a pep talk. Shopping should be fun, but when I spend the better part of a day and half a gas tank in the car and return empty handed, it isn't.
Maybe I should just stay home?

General

18 replies

Latest reply was from celia

anne

Veteran

I don't know Khris, but prior to YLF I often had that same frustration. I presume you are getting more picky and that is why it is harder?

Polly (thunalata)

Veteran

I really feel for you!

Recently I had another look at this thread.

http://youlookfab.com/welookfa.....yle/page/3

To get some ideas about how to describe my style. Does looking back at your reply there help you decide what's still you and what isn't?

But someone more helpful will be along soon and tell you what they see!

modgrl

(website)

Veteran

Just because the stores don't have the perfect nude sandals doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. I have almost completely given up on shopping in stores because they rarely have my size and I don't have time to schlep from store to store looking for the perfect thing.

Marigold

Oh, I can relate... Unfortunately, to me it seems that when I'm on a quest for something particular (even such thing as socks, I'm particular about color and fit...), I can never manage to find the right pair. I know how frustrating it can be to be able to plan a shopping trip ad come back empty handed... Hoping and wishing you find your sandals or top (or, preferably, both!).

krishnidoux

Veteran

chewyspaghetti, It's normal and it's actually a good sign. Eventually you will find your stores or your method. You are doing everything right to get there. Continue to explore and to get out of your comfort zone. It will pay off, I guarantee.

I bet it already paid off because you explored some stores and saw what they carried and next time can decide if they are worth your time / gas.

rute

Veteran

It's frustating.. Hope you get lucky this time!

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

If it weren't for the time and petrol you'd waste - I'd have said that these feelings are good, Khris! Coming back empty handed is not a bad thing - but I do understand what it took for you to get to the mall.

Your style is becoming simpler, cleaner and stronger. (At least, that's what I see). You are sticking to your new style goals which is commendable. Love that!

I often come home empty handed after shopping for myself - and you know that I battle with shoes. I guess you just can't purchase things that don't meet your standard. And when you try hard to look for them on one particular day - Murphy's Law, you don't find them.

We still have 3 months of Summer retail left. I am sure you'll be okay

As for today, you should go. Treat yourself to a trip, and at least you tried.

Maya

Veteran

I think even these empty-handed searches are productive because they help you better understand what you do want and which stores don't have it.

Have you tried searching online first? That's my strategy. I survey what's available online. If they have anything resembling what I want, I'll head out to the store (or call in advance).

tarzy

Veteran

Another thing to think about - maybe your changing style means you should think about shopping in different stores? I know it's really hard to spend more money on items, but you might be getting to the place where buying one perfect item will work better for you than buying five "will do" items?

Hang in there! You'll figure it out!

RoseandJoan

Veteran

Just bucket loads of sympathy here, I'm unable to commit to buying anything because my style is changing and I can't afford any mistakes!

nancylee

Veteran

Oh, I can really identify with you! It can be so exhausting looking for the perfect item. I was really feeling glum last week about my boot search (which is going the same fruitless way your search for nude sandals is going). I think I've become a little too obsessed with finding every perfect thing I want right this very minute, and it's taking the fun out of the whole experience. I feel like I'm "failing" when I don't find what I need. Maybe this is what's happening to you?

I'm thinking that allowing yourself a little break from the search might help you clear your head. Stepping back helps you gain a new perspective. And sometimes a little zen thinking helps! Your perfect sandals are out there, and you will find them.

In the meantime, check these out:

http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/fr.....eywordsear

I just ordered them in cement and they are so comfortable.

catgirl

Veteran

I love the direction you have been taking! Have you tried doing "Aida's list"? It might help if you haven't. I know you're a veteran here but with changing style, you may need to revisit your adjectives and goals...

RoseandJoan

Veteran

Khris I just BOUGHT something, I'm so excited! I hope you have the same luck, are you going to the mall?

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

Congrats Julie!
I decided not to go shopping yesterday. I just felt like I was trying to hard, you know?
Thanks for all of the responses here- I have read them all I just didn't have time to answer them all.

Vani

Veteran

Khris, I feel you. I'm buying stuff, coming home, trying everything on and then returning most everything. I'm hoping the perfect items come along at the right price, soon

thimblelina

(website)

Veteran

Sometimes the eye just needs a time- out... But if you have to travel to shop it is a bummer to feel like a whole day got wasted. I feel like my town is sort of a backwater in terms of choices (seriously, the Macy's here gets different merchandise than the one in SF!) so I have had days like that too.

Have you thought about some nude KorkEase sandals. Spendy but comfy and you'll wear them for years. L

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

thimbelina- I have to drive an hour just to *get* to a Macy's!

celia

Veteran

I understand your frustration. Sometimes going to the mall and being very objective about what I want/need/feels like me gives me headaches.Especially if you have to drive so many km.
But the upside is that you hve a closet with things that you love and inspire you to be you and to command your own style.
I'm sure nicer things will come your way the next visit.