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Ask Angie and others: Where do I go from here?

Roxanna

Veteran

Hello trusted Fabbers,

I've had a case of the February meh's in a few areas of my life and thought I would address my wardrobe woes here to see if you could help. About a year and a half ago on the Forum, I came to an epiphany about my shopping and wardrobe behaviours where I concluded:

1) I need a large closet because I am a mood dresser, I like variety, I have multiple roles, I wear everything I have, and I have a 4 season climate. No more feeling bad about having a maximal closet.
2) BUT my closet was still too big - I went through and purged about half and still had about 200 pieces left!

I have continued to prune my closet and have started using the Stylebook app to manage my wardrobe. As a visual person, this has been tremendous in helping me see and wear what I have, reduce duplication, and create outfits. I also have managed to buy less and focus on what I have, which has been great. I have a wardrobe that I love and I wear everything that I have.

So...what's the problem? That's just it - I don't know. Lately I have been feeling overwhelmed by my clothes and it's taking me a long time to put outfits together despite my saved looks in Stylebook. As well, I'm having trouble putting together weekend outfits I feel good in, and a stubborn weight gain means that clothes I love are no longer fitting (despite hard core workouts - don't even get me started.)

It may just be a case of the dog days of winter, but I can't help feeling like some proactive management is needed. Somehow, despite all my clothes, I feel like things aren't easy to put together into outfits.

Do I need to develop capsules to make it easier to get dressed in the morning? Do I need to prune more? Why does it feel like my closet is working against me instead of working for me when I love everything in it?

Dressing

28 replies

Latest reply was from Roxanna

Christina F.

Veteran

Hi there! You mention weight gain in passing, and boy, have I been there. I think there's nothing that will make you unhappy with your closet quicker than that. I wonder if you've yet assessed which pieces are making you feel unhappy because they don't fit the same anymore. That's what I'd start with, if you haven't yet. I think ill fitting clothes are the biggest blow to one's self esteem.

Also, don't discount the power of the winter blahs! I think many of us are unfortunately in the same boat this time of year.

jussie

Veteran

Hi there, I’m very similar to you- a mood dresser, 4 season climate, crave variety and also I have multiple roles calling for different looks.
No surprise I also have a large wardrobe! Well done on having a big clean out- that’s a great step towards a more functional wardrobe. A couple of ideas: do you have enough neutral basics? Do you have a great pair of jeans? Do you have some stylish but comfy shoes? These are all really important to being able to get dressed quickly in my opinion.
Also- is your hair in a good place? Sometimes I find if my hair is way overdue for a cut and color it can make all my outfits look blah.
Best of luck with your style journey

L'Abeille

Veteran

Really Roxanna I think a lot of it is just February! Despite all the promises of spring and spring fashions we see here and online, we know we are in for another 2 months of wearing our winter stuff, not fun.

I think we winter-bound could use some fun challenges to make getting dressed in the morning more of a game. I LOVE what you are doing with brooches, and seek to emulate you. I did a TV-character inspired outfit this week that was fun. Any ideas? New clothes isn't what is needed now, I don't think. Maybe a new way of seeing.

Mary Beth (formerly LBD)

(website)

Veteran

I feel like this sometimes, and when I do, I try and tease out the thoughts and figure out what's really going on. For me, it's usually one of these:

1) I'm not feeling comfortable in my own skin. (Usually to do with weight gain, or weight-not-coming-off). Sometimes it's because my hair or makeup just seems meh. Solutions: Watch a Youtube tutorial for makeup or hair and try that. Do a 15-minute stretching session and some planks (I always feel in control after planks). Take a long hot bath. Start over with my hair by washing, conditioning, and re-styling. Or paint my nails a bright color.

2) I'm feeling overwhelmed with stuff that doesn't have anything to do with my closet. Solutions: I set a timer in 15 minute increments, and tackle one thing at a time - cleaning the kitchen, answering email, working on a project, returning phone calls, etc. If I take a break, it's only for 15 minutes, then I return to what I was doing.

3) I feel like I'm not in control: This is usually because there is too much physical stuff around me that should be put away or otherwise dealt with. It usually has nothing to do with my actual wardrobe. Solutions: I pick a shelf, a cabinet, or a drawer, straighten up and/or declutter it.

OR I will make it about my wardrobe, and really go through my closet, empty it out, and put back only the very favorite "million-dollar-feeling" things. Anything that is out of season, hasn't been worn in six months, doesn't fit... I put into a bin and stick it in the back of the closet, with the understanding that I can pull it out and dive in at anytime. Which I eventually do.

It's a form of visual peace.

4) I feel like I'm not 'measuring up' to an undefined ideal in my mind, with my outfits: This is often my source of wardrobe frustration, and solutions are tricky for me to pin down. But here's what's helped me lately: a) Pick a specific word or phrase (it doesn't have to be your style descriptors) - for example - I've used "mermaid" for some outfits, and I used "Dita von Teese" to put together an outfit last night, for an open mic jazz outing. b) Find an outfit on Pinterest that your ultimate fantasy-life outfit, try to recreate it with what you have, and then wear it around the house for an hour. We all need an afternoon where we're eight years old again, playing dress-up.

5) Sometimes it's just the winter blahs. I get sick of chilly weather and grey skies. When that happens, I'll watch a sitcom rerun on cable, DVD or Netflix, or sit down for 30 minutes with a favorite old book, or move around for 15-30 minutes to some favorite music.

Anyway, I hope this gives you some ideas, to alleviate those feelings you're having!

Anonymous

WOW. I read your post and I didn't immediately respond because I didn't know what to say. I thought I would return after other Forum Members had a chance to provide input.

I am blown away by that input. LBD, in particular, had helpful ideas that I myself may be incorporating into my routine.

SarahD8

Veteran

Can you identify a few outfits that DO feel good (and that you may be wearing on repeat) and analyze what they have in common?

For example: I am absolutely the Queen of Cardigans, and have spent the past several years totally avoiding pullover sweaters because I don't like how they make my torso look blocky.

Well, last November I bought a Fancy Sweatshirt on a semi-whim, it was a total wildcard item for me but wouldn't you know I have been wearing it constantly, especially on weekends!

I realized that on weekends, I want quieter, more minimalistic outfits without so much visible layering. A-HA! So now I am on the hunt for a couple more pullovers with a similar cut to my sweatshirt. I don't actually own any more yet, but having that sense of purpose about what I'm looking for really chases away the blahs.

Roxanna

Veteran

Friends, you are all so wise and helpful. I think you have correctly and very insightfully pinpointed that this likely has more to do with this demoralizing weight gain, February blahs and not feeling in control than it does with my actual closet. I will try some of these solutions and report back.

First up: a new form of exercise, not just punishing exercise and i try to beat my poor body into submission. 6 am hot yoga tomorrow instead of 5 am P90X (argh.)

Clean out some of the *other stuff* that is cluttering my life and my mind (LBD - you are right, visual and mental clutter often leads to emtional clutter for me)

If that fails - take out everything in my closet and just put back the million dollar things.

Keep those ideas coming! And thank you, friends! You have lifted my spirits already.

Barbara Diane

Veteran

Lots of great advice and insights. I always feel like I have more clothing possibilities when all the clothing that doesn’t currently fit is removed to a holding zone outside my closet.

Anonymous

Oh I hear you. LBD indeed has some great insights and suggestions. I don't have anywhere the size of wardrobe that you have, but I do find capsuling to be a lifesaver. I've posted about this a few times, so feel free to ignore if you've heard it all before, but I have a rolling rack in my bedroom (which is not great as it's one more thing in the bedroom , but there was no where else to put it) which holds a capsule for a few weeks or months at a time. I do mine by colour groupings, but right now it happens to be holding just my pants. All pants look the same hanging in the dark depths of my old, inefficient closet, so having them hanging out where I can see them actually means I am wearing more of them and not just the same two pairs over and over again.

As to the weight gain - yep same here . Workout , eat well, get lots of sleep - and still gain weight. Gee, thanks . You're younger than I am , but it seems so very typical in the years leading up to menopause.

cindysmith

Veteran

It's the winter blahs. We're all tired of dressing like the staypuft marshmallow man just to prevent death from hypothermia. I'm there, too. It's not helping that we are currently experiencing mid 70s and then a cold front moves in tomorrow. It is February, mother nature, quit teasing me with the opportunity to break out of my staypuft marshmallow man rut for one little day, because it makes it that much harder to bundle up for work tomorrow.

I hate all my clothes right now (and I mostly only own garments that I love). Which makes it hard to get dressed. It did make it easier to go on a brutal purge the other day. I got peeved at how stuffed my closet was, so I took a garbage bag full of stuff and put it in my truck for donation. If I haven't missed anything in a month, I'll actually drop it off.

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greycat6

Veteran

I know what you mean, Roxanna, because I was feeling some of the same things recently. I happened to be wandering aimlessly through the mall when I had an hour to kill before after school activities started. I was probably on my way to spending money on an item of clothing that I was hoping would "cure" the problem (emotional shopper checking in). Instead, I sat down and got a mini makeover at the makeup counter. I walked away feeling pampered and refreshed. I did buy a new lippie which will hopefully tie me over until warmer weather comes and with it a closet change over. It is amazing how a new lippie can improve my outlook.

I love and will incorporate some of the wise suggestions here. Thank you for starting this thread.

Style Fan

Veteran

I am so impressed with LDB suggestions and all the wise words from the forum members.

Anonymous

Cindy - in temperatures like yours, how could you possibly be wearing puffy winter outerwear? Or even a sweater for pete's sake?

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

LBD’s insights were very interesting, and showed great reflection on digging deep inside. That’s what it’s all about. Style is from the inside out in soooo many ways.

Roxanna, practically speaking, I think there are a few more things at play:

Despite your large wardrobe you have a wardrobe hole since you can’t wear your favourite casual clothes at the moment.
Feb is HARD in a four season climate. We are desperate to wear Spring clothes, and sick of Winter. I’m with you, which is why I wear brights and white jeans in Winter.
Mix and match capsuling is a great idea. Mess around in your closet and put new combinations together.

FWIW, I’m a huge hot Vinyasa yoga fan because it’s the best form of exercise for mind, body and spirit. It’s the best form of strength training, very stress relieving, challenging, toning, healthy and fun. It decreases blood pressure whereas other forms of excercise can increase it. If you choose your yoga class and movements carefully, there is nothing better for your body and mind in my opinion. I can’t live without it.

Roxanna

Veteran

Thank you all for your wise words. Angie, I love hot vinyasa too but haven't been able to do it consistently in years becuase of two little ones. I'm going to try to fit in 6 am classes before work occasionally because you are right - it is so good at centering me and making me feel better.

Everyone - thank you for diagnosing the February blues and giving me such great ways to combat them.

Cindy - I am echoing Lisa! Puffy outerwear in 75F? You made me laugh out loud. It's all perspective, i guess. I wear puffy outerwear when I go outside and my nosehair freezes

Lynn

Veteran

I just wanted to thank LBD for her wonderful reply. I am going to cut/paste it into a word file to read when I am having the wardrobe doldrums.

I too would suggest that a wardrobe challenge might be helpful in shifting your focus. I am feeling more energized about my wardrobe since doing the 30 x 30 challenge. I do think with weight gain (ditto for me) it is so helpful to get everything that doesn't fit out of your closet and out of sight. That way you can see what you have to work with.

unfrumped

Veteran

Great post and great responses!
I had some similar experiences. I did buy a couple of items but overall I thing the answers are “ elsewhere “.
I’m not good at adding links but check out Bridget Raes’ recent blog post on “ what your closet is trying to tell you”

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

The responses on this thread are fantastic. I do yoga at home with recordings - that is all I have to add.

Joy

Veteran

You have wonderful responses. You might try pulling 30-40 seasonal items from your closet to make a capsule that you hang together and pull from to wear for at least a few weeks. You can make your own rules, but it will be like having a small closet. See if you like and really want to purge any more. If you find that you don't want to wear one or some of your 30 pieces, take it/them out of your capsule, maybe adding others from your closet. You will find it much easier to get dressed with much less to choose from.

Cardiff girl

Veteran

Gosh what a lot of good advice and not much love for February.Good job it’s such a short month.I find that as well as the above concentrating on the details such as doing my nails a funky shade,having my hair done or trying a new style,getting a free makeup lesson (have you looked at Lisa Aldridge s site for makeup tips?)these can all help with the feeling of clothing ennui that you are describing.Oh and of course a luxury holiday to somewhere hot and sunny (I wish!)

Jenni NZ

Veteran

Yay for Lisa Eldrige! (Only cos we claim her as a Kiwi, although born in Liverpool).

approprio

(website)

Veteran

I hear you. I know exactly what you're talking about because I often have the same problem. A large wardrobe satisfies the need for variety, but it can sometimes feel overwhelming.

It's true, February is always a tough month. I love LBD's take on the wider psychology, all excellent advice. However, from a practical wardrobe perspective, this might be a good moment for some creative problem-solving ahead of the new season.

What you're describing sounds very much like the place I was in when I started posting on the forum after years of lurking. At that point I was very happy with the contents my wardrobe but I was struggling for coherence. Of course, there was no quick fix, but I've since made a lot of progress in a few areas, and here are some key learnings.

My wardrobe functions best around seasonal capsules, which typically take the form of outfit formulae. These tend to emerge early in a new season. Usually they develop naturally from last year's choices, but I'm just as likely to find a new direction. A good one right now is a straight tunic dress over jeans or a midi skirt.
Refining the colour palette has made a huge difference. Identifying the Winter colour family was a very useful, because it gave me a set of principles to work with. I was initially worried this would restrict me, but in fact it helped me understand how I wanted to combine colours. Very satisfying.
The right essentials. At the moment, these are long sleeved tees (solid or striped), fine gauge skinny knits and cashmere. Makes a huge difference just to be able to reach for something and know it will pull a look together.

As you say, a good strategy right now would be to play with capsules for the new season, but I like what Angie says about identifying wardrobe holes. This is where you can cast around for inspiration for a new look, or maybe go back to an old favourite you haven't worn for a while. It might also be useful to look at some existing capsules or formulae that work well for you, and ask yourself how you can develop them.

Jenni NZ

Veteran

Hi Roxanna I also like a largish wardrobe and can get overwhelmed. I have found tracking wears very good to help me combine things. Sometimes I look at something not worn as much but that I still like and think right, I'll give that a wear. Then finding the other parts of the outfit is a bit more fun as less predictable than the fall-back usual combos, and the final touch is the earrings. Helps me to not just rush out and buy as much stuff.

Kathie

Veteran

These are amazing insights. I’ve also been focusing on developing my spring/summer wardrobe. Thinking through what I have, what needs alterations, and what to add, so that I have a couple fresh looks. I can’t wear any of these items yet, but I’m enjoying that I’ll have some wonderful outfits all set, as soon as the weather changes.

Deborah

Thank you for this post and the thoughtful replies. So glad I joined here. This is just in time for a cold weekend when we are tired of winter. You all are so smart.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Hugs, Roxanna -- I'm sorry you are struggling but I thank you for sharing with us. The replies here are amazing and thoughtful and I'm going to try to take some of the advice myself, since I'm also in a February slump. I am also trying to remind myself on a regular basis that spring is around the corner...light is returning...

Also, maybe setting yourself a tiny challenge like your play with the brooches will help. It's a bit silly but it's fun and it gets you out of the rut.

(Said the woman who is feeling way too depleted for any challenge, no matter how small!)

If casual wear isn't fitting right, maybe you need to purchase a pair of new jeans and whatever else would be needed there -- you might be able to catch a sale for that so you don't feel as bad about spending on it.

Ginger

Veteran

Wow, LBD's responses are wonderful. There are so many reasons to be in the winter blah's, and these solutions to help are just great. I get summer blah's as well as winter ones (because it's so long and hot) and I particularly like #3. I've tended to do major closet organization and/or wardrobe assessments in August and September. The 15 minute task timer is super helpful, too. I haven't tried #4, finding outfit inspiration, but it's something I'm going to file away.

lisa p, if I may chime in along with Cindy,

winter weather here can be a roller coaster. (Record temperatures for January vary from -2F to 93F.) Today the wind is roaring out of the north again, and the day's high temperature was at dawn. It's rough to get a taste of warmth and then have the cold come back.

Roxanna

Veteran

These are such, such good responses!! I'm going to bookmark this and come back to it over and over.

@Lisa - your suggestion of a rolling rack with a few pieces I am loving sounds dead on, especially for a visual person like me. Now if I could only find the room! Also I hear you about menopause - I think I have a few years to go but maybe the weight is creeping on early

@approprio - I'm going to go through your post more fully later , but there was just so much there that was helpful. Your idea of a winter palette really resonated. Bring a very colour and more oriented person (these two are often tired in my head!) I think picking a few colours that help restrict my choices will actually give me freedom. Hmm. I need to think more about that.

@cindy and @ginger - please do not take offense! I can totally understand how swinging wildly back from one temperature to another would drive your wardrobe out of whack - not to mention your mod. Us Canadians were just having fun with you

@Angie - I did a hot yoga class yesterday and in Shavasana, I mentally called or every body part, loved it, and thanked it for the work it did in such-and-such pose. A little self love can go a long way in February - thanks for reminding me of that!