Ask Angie: and others on feeling self conscious - YouLookFab Forum

Category

Dressing

Welcome! Read about what to wear and how to wear it on the YLF Blog. Join the YLF Forum to ask specific questions or just chat about fashion and personal style. Or check out the curated list of things we love in YLF Finds.

Outfits Ensembles Trends Advice

Ask Angie: and others on feeling self conscious

Glory

Veteran

Hi all, I went outside my colour and style comfort zone and purchase the pewter quilted docker shoes. So far I have only worn them inside with the tags still on. I feel so self conscious wearing them. I am accustomed to black footwear I guess. Should I push through this, have others had this same experience? Or should I return them?

This post has 1 photo. Photos uploaded by this member are only visible to other logged in members.

If you aren't a member, but would like to participate, please consider signing up. It only takes a minute and we'd love to have you.

Dressing

14 replies

Latest reply was from Kim

Sara L.

Veteran

I would push through unless you feel uncomfortable because they aren't your style. If you're trying to move outside your usual style comfort zone than I would keep wearing them. I think you'll find that you'll start to feel more comfortable after the first few outings and you won't even think about it anymore.

Laurinda

Veteran

What Sara L. said -- and she just got a beautiful new hair cut!

What matters if how do they make you feel, confident or insecure??? If it helps, keep in mind that in general, people are much more focused on themselves than on you.

KikiG

Veteran

I think you are taking a risk in a "safe" way--the style is traditional, it is the color that gives the shoe a bit of oomph. I think a jazzy shoe is one of the least risky ways of having a fashion adventure. I assure you, no one will laugh and point at these darling shoes!

MNsara

Veteran

If they are Sperry Topsides - you must push through because they're SO comfortable

Actually, I have loved all my pewter/dark silver shoes and found them to be very versatile and not very obtrusive at all. Granted if you're coming from only black shoes, it will be a shake-up, but do it now while the weather is transitional because they're PERFECT for right now

I hope you'll give them a go, and I'm hoping they'll open up new footwear adventures for you!

Carole

Veteran

I remember feeling this way when I first joined YLF and wore a new pair on Cons out the door....I was very self conscious but I forced myself to wear them and step out of my comfort zone. Anything new and so different from your current style is going to take some adjustment but you have to start somewhere, right? I love the shoes, btw, and seems like a safe way to jump in.

Aziraphale

Veteran

Give it a try. Those shoes are fun, but not loud or garish. You might find that if you wear them for a week or so, they will become the "new normal". This is how you branch out and grow your style!

Echoing what Kiki says, wearing shoes that are a bit "different" is one of the safest ways to experiment.

missvee

Veteran

Is this a style you would normally choose? Do you like how they look on your feet? And, are they comfortable? If so, then wear them and enjoy the change from your usual black. If you are still hesitating then maybe another style in metallic would be a better option. There are some cute flats and booties out there, so don't give up without a fight!

Queen Mum

Veteran

push, push, push! Taking your style to the next level always takes a bit of uncomfortableness, but as Elizabeth said, it will become your new normal.

Anonymous

Hmmm. I haven't read any of the other comments, but my belief is if you are self conscious of wearing ANYTHING, it needs to go! You need to dress for YOU. Not for trends. Not because someone else is wearing it. Not because someone else thinks you should wear it. Even if it's a fab item, if it doesn't make you feel fab, then why wear it?

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Glory, you might find this post helpful:

http://youlookfab.com/2011/03/.....fort-zone/

catgirl

Veteran

Those are great! I felt a little self-conscious wearing my pewter oxfords on Friday, but I felt so much like myself that I got over it quickly. You must wear these!

Charmian

Veteran

What Angie said

I would explore the discomfort a bit, too. Why did you buy the shoes in the first place? Do those reasons match your style aspirations? If yes: then keep those reasons firmly in mind as you march out the front door! If they don't, then maybe your subconscious is trying to tell you -- via discomfort -- that this wasn't meant for you.

I work in an industry with a strong environmental norm, and I've definitely felt uncomfortable as I've pushed past my own comfort zone or even pushed the norm a bit. If this piece is true to your style aspirations, the sheer joy of your new style makes the discomfort fade fast.

Good luck! Would love to see a full outfit photo soon

Glory

Veteran

Thanks so much for all of your support. I took off the tags and wore them on lunch time errands. They are a great MOTG transition shoe. I will take a pic later and post (although I am a total newbie on that and have only ever posted one photo and it wasn't great). THANKS YLFers!!!! xo

Kim

Veteran

And the world didn't stop spinning! LOL (That's what I thought would happen the first time I wore my over the knee boots.) Didn't have the same trouble with my next amazing shoes though, once you break through you're hooked! Shoes can make all the difference in your look.

Today I wore studded smoking flats and I was just going to a doctors appt. and I'm 50! .! LOL I noticed people looking at my shoes, but I am having so much fun with them I can't imagine not having them now.