ARGH, stuck at a crossroads

ironkurtin

My body has changed since last year! Plus I purged a bunch of stuff last winter, and now my fall/winter wardrobes seem so small. And, well, very me, but also sooooooo boring! I want to buy new, but feel utterly frozen!

ARGH.

I guess baby steps, no impulse buying... I am trying to convince myself this will be "fun."

13 years ago

Dressing

18 replies

Latest reply was from catgirl

Isabel

Veteran

Why do you feel frozen ?

Last year when I had to start from scratch, practically, my fear was the I would be "ravenous"...is that what is going on ? Are you a bit panicky that your wardrobe is "small" ? IMO, you look amazing every time you post...so to me, it is never boring.

13 years ago

catgirl

Veteran

Hey, I thought you were the queen of ebay and having fun replacing your wardrobe! How can we get your mojo back? Do you want to head in a new style direction or is something else freezing you up?

13 years ago

ironkurtin

Veteran

I really don't want to make any more purchasing mistakes. I'm so tired of my closet being the land of churn (Bought it! Love it! Don't love it enough! Out it goes!) On the other hand, I love new things. So I am trying to find a balance - for me, and for my actual *bank* balance.

13 years ago

catgirl

Veteran

I think that's the price some of us pay for being fickle. Let us know your goals and we'll help keep you on track. You've done it for me, right?

13 years ago

Isabel

Veteran

Yeah, that is really tough. You are trying to change a whole way of doing things. I couldn't agree with you more in trying to minimize mistakes. Unfortunately, sometimes we don't know how much we are going to love something until we start using it. That is true of everything....I DID NOT want a smartphone, EVAH ! and had the same clamshell for 16 years. Then I got a cheap iPhone and I can't imagine life with out it...I am rambling.
My point is that it is sooooo hard to predict how something will truly fit into your life and your heart ( unless one is Angie ).

What about fun cheap accessories ? Target and JCpenney have some fun stuff.

Also, set a budget and once it is gone for the month, or whatever, then it is over.

I try to shop at places where I can return things indefinitely.

But the truth is, Dana, that if you like variety and rotation then maybe what is right for you is not a long term wardrobe. You may be trying something very counter to your personality. And that won't work.

13 years ago

Anonymous

I think you're smart just to cool your heels and wait until something inspires you. As long as you have enough clothes to get you through a week that is. I've experienced a fair amount of churn myself. Love it! This is me! Oh, I'm not sure this is me after all. This really is NOT me anymore.....how could I have bought that? What was I THINKING? I'm so embarrassed that there is even photographic evidence of me wearing that. Ugh. I'm going to go eat worms.

13 years ago

Isabel

Veteran

Claire !!! LOL ! I would go off and eat chocolate..but to each her own.

13 years ago

ironkurtin

Veteran

AG - Thanks!
CC - Ha!
Isabel - Thanks for the suggestions! Thing is, I don't really wear accessories. And when I do, I'd rather buy something designer and used than one new that isn't. Partly it's a fabric thing, I'm very snobby.

At the end of the day, I know there are more important issues in life than my clothing. Right now, that would be $. So I'm trying to wrap my head around denying myself. I can force myself not to eat when I am hungry, and work out when I'd rather go home and sleep. Saying NO YOU CANNOT BUY THAT should be easy, right?

13 years ago

catgirl

Veteran

Okay, but don't force yourself not to eat when you're hungry!

13 years ago

Anonymous

I'm sort of in the same boat right now. I have several things going on at the moment. I am completely uninspired by my fall/winter wardrobe, I lost weight and most of what is there is too big and I'm not sure what direction I want to head in this upcoming fashion season. Nothing in the magazines is inspiring me.

Yesterday I spent a good chunk of time in my closet purging out stuff that is too big and putting away spring/summer stuff that I may want for next year. I'm feeling especially ruthless right now so I did purge out a lot of orphans and things for an imaginary lifestyle. I also purged a bunch of stuff that always made me feel frumpy but I kept wearing out of habit. In a lot of ways, I feel I am rebuilding from scratch.

But now I have no clothes. There are a lot of empty hangers! I did some window shopping last week and nothing grabbed my attention. I think I am looking for that spark of inspiration that will set me on course for the next fall/winter fashion season.

I'm going to keep looking in the magazines and cruising around pinterest until I find my spark. Maybe I should start a series of challenges to myself....forcing myself to wear what is there and see what works and what does not. I don't want to spend money on new stuff that doesn't inspire me. It sounds like you are feeling the same way?

Maybe don't frame this part of your fashion journey as "denying myself". Why not just say you are waiting for the perfect pieces?

13 years ago

MNsara

Veteran

I'm hearing you on the 'Bought it! Love it! Don't love it enough! Out it goes!' cycle. It makes me distrust my judgement, and even if you can resell/consign something, there's often $$ lost, and definitely time and energy lost.

Maybe give yourself 2-3 weeks of NO buying (maybe even NO looking?) while you settle into fall (ha, you're in Austin!), okay while you ponder the internals of this and see if you gain any insights. (i.e. are you looking for new color, new silhouette, new proportions, ?)

No need to think of it as denying yourself forever, but pausing to give consideration to it all.

P.S. I don't know if you've jumped on the Equipment silk shirt bandwagon, but I can see you in one(in a color) worn loose over all sorts of your great bottoms.

13 years ago

Caro in Oz

Veteran

Oh I hear you! I've been thinking about the way I buy clothes because I wasn't happy to keep doing the buy it & regret it thing any more. I've been trying to stick to a list (i.e. gap fillers & basics). When I see something that isn't on my list that I would have bought in the past I don't buy it but make a note of the price with a short description. I can't remember exactly when I started this process, only 1 - 2 months, but I have saved myself over $500. Enough for something amazing. The other thing is I can't remember why I wanted most of the items I didn't buy. It has been really sobering for me to realize that most of my clothing budget went on things I didn't love & were not really good enough. I'm really over all these short lived infatuations & I'm hanging out for true love. I think the fact that you are "frozen" is probably a good thing - you are giving yourself the space to change. Unless you mean you are literally frozen - then you need to go & buy some clothes.

13 years ago

geargirl

Active Member

Go slow. Breathe.
Buy accessories until you get your MOJO back.
Maybe the current season just isn't you...

Claire is so right!

13 years ago

catgirl

Veteran

This is where Pinterest is helping me. It's such a great visual and complete list of what I love as I see new things - but it also shows how much I already own of similar items or colors. It's been a godsend for me, instead of having to keep track of bookmarks and sites and what goes with what.

13 years ago

ironkurtin

Veteran

Wow, AG, you're much more media-motivated than I am! I suppose I could pinterest. Do you take pictures of your clothes and dollhouse with them, or what?

13 years ago

catgirl

Veteran

HAHA! Are you kidding? I am a total Luddite. I'm the last person I know to learn how to text. No time for photos of clothes or anything like that. I just pin stuff on Pinterest. It's really like my own ongoing wish list, plus inspiration. By pinning it I somehow feel like I've nabbed it psychologically and don't have to buy it right away. Weird, I know. And I've only been doing it a couple of weeks!.

13 years ago

rachylou

Veteran

Pinterest really is a good way to sort though style impulses. Have to second that.

13 years ago

catgirl

Veteran

Here, check mine out if you want:

http://pinterest.com/masalagirl/style/

So boring and predictably me - that's what surprised me!

Jonesy, Angie, Rae and other YLFers are much more creative with categories and labels. Mine is really slapdash, but gives you an idea - it's like a running shopping list in my head, sorta.

13 years ago

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