Argg! I am super frustrated and don't know where to start!!! - YouLookFab Forum

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Argg! I am super frustrated and don't know where to start!!!

Raisin

Veteran

I showed you guys my pinterest board a few days ago to get some style insight help, and thank you, it was very helpful. (here it is for anyone that wants a look http://pinterest.com/rsirotic/my-style/)

I have this idea of what I want to wear, my style, but I just don't feel like I am getting there! I post WIW's once in a while, but never feel like they are truly complete. I know they are sometimes more minimal than the looks I have pinned, and to some degree that's ok, since I don't like or do too many of the add ons like scarfs, jewelry, etc. But I still don't feel like I am getting the same vibe across. And worse, I don't know how to fix it or what to buy. It seems like just randomly buying pieces is a bad idea to fix it, but where do I start!?

I have added some pics of my outfits, and then some pics of things I have added to my "want list", but I don't know, are any of these pieces style makers for me? Do I need them all, one thing in particular? Am I totally of course?

I could use Angie here to help, lol!

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Dressing

35 replies

Latest reply was from Carla

Anonymous

I could see any of these pieces fitting with your style. You seem to like minimalism and wear it well. You might go slowly and spend on just one designer piece once in a while. The problem might be footwear. I find that it makes such a huge difference to an outfit. Or add an interesting bag.

Anonymous

I think you look wonderful. You might be further along than you think. Good luck.

Anonymous

I think you're on the right track. You look really great in your WIW pics but...IMHO you are playing too safe (from looking at pintrest).
All of your inspiration photos have a little edge/anti-mainstream. For example:
#1 pic - Tall boots with skinnys- None of your pins show this, they show shorter boots with the pant scrunched up to meet the boot.
#2 pic- Your pins show this basic look often but they show the pant rolled to a non-mainstream length with more ankle showing.
#3pic- Your pins show shorts alot, usually a lot shorter but that isn't what sets this off to me- it's that your pins pics also show cropped tops that are quit boxy. Your photo looks good on you but it is more conservative.
I think all of the items you show are right on track for where you are going except the blouse in #6.

Sona

Veteran

Raisin: I think you are being too hard on yourself. All' your' looks are complete and fab to boot. I think you are doing awesome-ly! Maybe asking for more feedback when you post wiw's and posting more wiw's might help us be your mirror.

TraceyLiz65

(website)

Veteran

I too think you are doing better than you think! i do agree with Tracina that perhaps what you feel is missing from the Pins & your style is that extra edginess. You are really close....

Anonymous

Oh, where is 12 from? I love it! I also love the Helmut pheasant shell. To die for.

I don't think you should be frustrated. I think you are well on your way. Some of your pieces are pretty classic in styling, whereas your pins have them a bit edgier. Does that make sense? Like what makes 12 is the asymmetry....I think there are lots of black crossover shells out there that would be a straight substitute, but then you miss the essential details of the one you posted.

Your new cream white shell is pretty classic, but paired with shorts and your new booties, it will look edgier.

I also think increasing your shoe options (which you are doing!) will help.

Sarah A

Veteran

I think you are doing really well identifying your desires and the pieces that will get you there and really have just a short way to get to those pins! Adding in that little edgey-ness with asymetery, leather, and detailing (zippers, leather trims) and choosing abstract prints will help bring that little bit of rocker vibe your pins hold.

ETA: I am so impressed with how coherent your pinboard is. Mine is all over the map!!!!

Suz

(website)

Veteran

I know this feeling. I've had this feeling. Lots of times. It always comes before a bit of a breakthrough. So take courage!

First off, your individual items and wants all seem to fit with your overall aesthetic. Even so, instead of buying helter skelter, why not pick ONE outfit from your Pinterest board that you would like to copy as exactly as possible. Sounds like a baby step, but that will force you to analyze the specific details of the outfit and what makes it work to your eye. And then buy with that "outfit" in mind (if necessary).

I think I know why you are not wearing booties in your WIWs (even though the pinned outfits include them. ) 1. Until recently, you didn't own any. 2. Your weather requires tall boots.

So more footwear options (as Ceit says) PLUS some consideration of how to translate your aesthetic preferences to your actual lived environment might be in order. You might need to do a hunt for (Canadian) winter looks that you love....it's all very well to pin celebs in California, but you will be forever frustrated at not being able to wear the booties with no socks thing for 6 months of the year.

I've had to do a similar thing when it comes to my work-at-home life. In my FANTASY world I would be going to work outside the home in my creative field and wearing business casual every day (which in my case would veer to high end Urban Prince Helmut Lang, heh heh). BUT. In my REAL life, not so much. I need clothes that are as comfy as workout gear, yet look like my aspirational style. It's a tall order. One I have yet to meet. But at least I see where I am going.

With a little more analysis, you will, too! You are very nearly there, and you look K-worthy in every single one of your WIWs already!!!

Transcona Shannon

Veteran

Rae - Suz has said it all so brilliantly and I have nothing to add! You will get to where you want to go and in the meantime, you look fantastic!

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Pinboards serve as INSPIRATION. They are not a means to create a cookie-cutter copycat look. That's point number one

Personally, I think it's the pattern and the colour of both blouses that are throwing you off. From what I have seen so far, you are a neutral gal - with the odd bit of muted colour and muted pattern thrown into the mix.

Also Suz's point about the weather is crucial. Pinning So Cal looks for Canadian Winters is not an ideal match! You have to Winterize the style sensibility. Make it your own.

Style is ALWAYS a work in progress. That's why it's a journey :). Like the others have mentioned, I think you are doing well! Piece by piece you are getting there. You need to flesh out your boot and knitwear capsules for sure.

Deep breath, Raisin! You are on the right wicket.

Isis

Veteran

Nothing to add, except that I must comment that this thread is really informative! Lots for all of us to ponder; thanks for posting this Raisin!

Beth Ann

Veteran

Raisin, I feel I'm in exactly the same place, although I have a very different body type and style. I feel like I'm circling the airport at the moment, waiting to land at my destination. On bad days, I say I'm circling the drain (lol)! I think Suz is right --- there's a certain struggle that comes before a breakthrough.

Even though your style is far different from mine, I love your WIW. You have an amazing eye for proportion and modern lines. The outlier items to me are the yellow and floral tops. Now, I have some items that are outside of my "core", too, and they're important to me, but I think Angie's write and soft tonal and neutral outfits are your signature style.

LOVING pics 7, 10, 12, 13 and 14 on the wish list. Of your WIW --- 2 and 4 are the most striking to me.

You're looking terrific, Raisin, enjoy the journey!

Raisin

Veteran

Thank you so much for the replies! I am feeling a bit less frustrated now. A lot of answers were very helpful and got me thinking more straight.

Joy - you are right I need more edgy footwear, since it's often the only item seen when I'm out until I take off my jacket. My bags are pretty plain too.

Tracina - I think you make sense, that maybe my WIW are a lot more on the safe side then these pins, and I feel that way myself, just trying to decide or find what will take them up a notch to what I want.

Ceit - the assymetrical black top is also Helmut Lang, I do agree that it's often small details that set pieces apart, which is usually what I like in the first place. I often have time finding alternatives that work as well.

Suz - you have a lot of wisdom for going through your own style journey. Hopefully you are right and I am close to a breakthrough! I think you are right, I will try to copy a few pins closely, just to get myself thinking and using my own clothes. I also agree that it is really hard to translate some looks to cold weather. I mean it's not like we wear open jackets in winter, or rolled pants.

Angie - thanks for chiming in. I do agree that pins should be inspirational, which is kinda why a lot of mine don't translate well to cold Cananda weather. I tend to pin what I like and go, and hope to draw from it later. That's the part I'm struggling with now. I do have some pieces that don't go as well, mostly the colorful ones, and I'm not sure why, but I love overall dark outfits, but tend to be drawn to colorful pieces sometimes.

Beth Ann - like I said to Angie, some of my color pieces stick out a bit, but I can still try to incorporate them into my look. I love darks and neutrals, but color sometimes as well.

Mary, Sona, traceyLiz, SarahA Shannon and Isis, thanks for your support!

RoseandJoan

Veteran

I really love the soft simplicity of your style, it is minimal but not strict. I also think you have the best hair and poses.

Street style shots are inspiring because they are a moment caught in time, there is movement, weather, light and background which cannot be replicated inside. Take your looks onto the street and you have instant context and dynamism.

I was also looking through the pinterest board searching for the certain something which makes the looks different...and the only thing I could find was they are nearly all holding or doing something with their hands. I'm guessing that is not the X which you feel is missing

rachylou

Veteran

I feel like less is more for you. Very strong that way. The one outfit I'm not so keen on is #4, the buttons and the tie at the waist and the buckles on the boots. It's a lot of stuff hanging off the individual pieces. But, for example, the ombre jeans I think are fantastic (and also the shorts in #5). Where there's interest incorporated into the fabric or the main construction of the garment, I love that for you.

rae

(website)

Veteran

I actually do see your pin style coming through in your outfits. if you feel like you are not quite there can you experiment with more dramatic and less classic cuts and volume? I feel like you are right there.

Caro in Oz

Veteran

Love reading this post & all the replies, I agree with the others you are further along than you think:)

I think taht edginess is a key factor in your look. You would be far better off with one Helmut Lang piece rather than 3 or 4 more classic pieces imo.

Raisin

Veteran

RoseandJoan - I think you are so right, pins are just a "moment in time" and it's not usually exactly how people look walking around all the time. I mean it's not like we pose like that IRL.

Rachylou - yah the boots in pic 4 are gear boots, I was asking about them in another post, but my normal boots are black with a zip up the side. They go better, i think.

Rae - you're right, I need some more dramatic, edgy pieces to go with the more classic ones.

Caro - I would love to get about 3 or 4 pieces I've been looking at for a while. I think they would go far for what I'm trying to achieve. Alas, not everything can come at once! I think I should plan to wait on the real ones I love, rather than trying to find cheaper alternatives. Though some alternatives do have their place, I just need to learn which ones.

I really appreciate all the replies, they are helping tremendously. I have an itch to get my camera out tomorrow and see what I can come up with, and then maybe pick 1 or 2 things I am eyeing to get soon.

Mochi

Veteran

Rae, I think you've got some pieces lined up for some really promising outfits. The components are working well together and you are well on your way to a sleek, minimalist or at least uncluttered look (which I obviously mean as a compliment). It would seem to me that you're just one or maybe two pieces short of tying everything together--I mean per outfit. Like some sort of interesting topper and/or belt or vest or something. You do NOT need a major overhaul. I'm not a great one for specific advice, unfortunately. In fact I can identify with this problem, actually. I have skipped over the comments. I wonder what Angie did or will say?

Raisin

Veteran

Sorry to chime back in, but Mochi, that is exactly what I am feeling...like some little small element is missing, not the whole picture. I feel like it's hard to just fix with toppers though, since most of the time here I'm in the same jacket. Anyway, I need to work with what I have now and try it out some more.

Caro in Oz

Veteran

Raisin - I think if we have wardrobe gaps it's perfectly legit. to buy things that aren't perfect or are a cheaper version of something we want. For me it didn't ever end there though - I sort of made a habit of buying those pieces. I found it actually helped me to realise I did have enough & to concentrate on being PPP.

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

You have received great advice here. Sometimes when I feel stylistically frustrated it helps me to try on a bunch of things and see how some feel right on first glance and some I have to convince myself are right. Also helps me get rid of what is not working!

Sarah A

Veteran

So I learned something today. After reading Caro's post about one Helmut Lang vs. 3 classic styles pieces. I went to go check out Helmut Lang -- WOW! thats some gorgeous stuff.

Are you somewhere you can go B&M shopping for high end clothing? You could take an "almost there" outfit and try a few of the pieces and see how those worked to make the look. Then make decisions about what "placeholder" pieces to get and which of the designer items made the biggest impact across the board.

Raisin

Veteran

Yah they do have some gorgeous stuff Sarah. We have a couple of boutiques that get some good stuff. Not sure about HL, I wish though, I do love the aesthetic. I may go down this week just to check out what they do have though, I would imagine they just got a lot of new spring things in, and I haven't checked since before Christmas. I need to make a bunch of outfits out of my own clothes too and see what works welli, and then maybe I will be more inspired to pick a great piece when I am shopping.

Caro, I agree on filling gaps with cheaper stuff. In fact I've been trying hard to do that lastly but find it hard to find anything close. We have very limited shopping where I am though. Which is why I love shopping when I get to visit DHs family in Montreal once or twice a year.

Scarlet

Veteran

Well I do think your "wants" are fab, but I think your look is already pretty in line with your inspiration, except that, as you note, you like to be more minimalistic. The main things jumping out at me are that your pictures don't have accessories (also they are mostly the indoor version, versus the street, aka outdoor, version), and also that you look neat as a pin, whereas the pinned images are often more windswept. Otherwise the idea that comes to mind is a black leather jacket would be a great topper on you if you don't already have that. It seems like you already have nice under layers in your wardrobe.

Elizabeth P

Veteran

Can you share where that silver sweater is from? i keep coming back and looking at it.

Elizabeth P

Veteran

Me again. I looked at your photos a while ago, but really don't feel "qualified" to make much of a response. But I've been stalking you a bit today, because I really like your "look", so feel I should comment. I think your pieces are great, you have a wonderful sense of what works on you, but what you are missing is accessories to pull the look together and make it your own. I get that you like being minimal, but in my eye, those are the things that put an outfit up a notch. That take it from just putting a couple of things on to wear, to turning them into a thought out outfit.

Charmian

Veteran

Looking at your pinterest board + Angie's comment made me go back and look at my pinterest board. Apparently I'm addicted to white! Just as you seem to be addicted to soft colors and black. So I would agree with Angie that there's some misalignment there.

The other thing that the ladies pointed out is that you're missing some ... well, I didn't think it was "edge", more like "toughness". Compared to your board, your outfits and aspirational pieces seem to be missing hardware (ie, zippers) and to a lesser extent, leather. Maybe a black leather moto would be a weather-appropriate place to get start unstuck. If you're worried about an expensive mistake, clearlyclaire and I (both minimal classicists as well) really liked the pleather moto from Express. I'm thinking of upgrading my moto now that the experiment has been validated.

Next, would it help to start pinning your own outfits? I was shocked at how much I learned when all my inspirational pins were together on one screen, and I wonder if the same would happen if my "reality pins" were presented similarly.

Lastly, I think you look wonderful as is! Don't forget we're supposed to be having fun here, and if you find yourself getting frustrated, maybe it's time to settle back into a few "fast fallback outfits" and remember how many people love your look now. I certainly enjoy your WIWs.

Raisin

Veteran

Charmian you're right about the leather jacket....I have one, not moto, but I will post it later to see how it stands up. It's still a bit cold for it though. Never thought of pinning my own outfits! Good idea!

Elizabeth I'm not much of an accessory wearer, but I could try. I tend to do my "accessories" as leather embellishments, or studs, buckles, zips..... Also, the silver sweater is Club Monaco, lucky you, you have one in Halifax! My parents are in Dartmouth, so I get to hit up CM often. That sweater is high on my list of wants!

Scarlet, you're right about me being too neat! I wish my hair looked a little more rocker, it is honestly just that straight all the time!

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