Are you less likely to trust? - YouLookFab Forum

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Are you less likely to trust?

biscuitsmom

Veteran

Any 'authority' figure..be it a assistant to a Dr, lawyer, boss, etc...if they are not dressed in well-fitting clothing? We recently saw a lawyer's assistant (sorry, cant think of the correct title) who had way too much make-up on, pants so long they were dragging on the ground and her suit jacket practically covered her entire hand! Also had wild nail polish and several rings on....I felt like walking out. DH didnt *even* notice! She was professional in her speech and actions, but the rest left me cold. Anyone experience something like that?

General

20 replies

Latest reply was from Queen Mum

catgirl

Veteran

I'm interested in the answers here because I am a lawyer, and I often wonder how my fashion choices could affect me professionally. Alaska is pretty casual, but also very conservative. Will be following this post!

Queen Mum

Veteran

Yes, I would have a hard time trusting a professional who is not dressed professionally. Overly trendy (as in trying too hard) would leave me raising eyebrows as well as ill fitting or loud and obnoxious.

Maya

Veteran

If someone obviously had good intentions but took a few wrong steps, it doesn't bother me. Some people really do make an effort but they aren't good at judging fit, style, or color so they look less than fab. But that's different tot me than someone wearing flipflops and a sweatshirt to a client meeting. That's just disrespectful and unprofessional.

This is still tough because I am judgmental about how others dress (and no apologies for it), but I feel like it's the norm these days unfortunately. If I let that inform my judgement of everyone's competence, I would have a negative view of virtually everyone I meet!

catgirl

Veteran

Just to add, I grew up on the east coast very clothes-conscious and aware of the correlation between what you wore and your perceived "status". The Indian community I grew up in also had those kinds of standards. Then, after I moved to Alaska 17 years ago, I had to learn that you simply can't tell anything about someone here from how they dress. I've had uber-wealthy clients come in wearing dirty Carharrts.

Even our performing arts center states in the program that you can come to the theater dressed however you want. It's kind of cool. Some people show up in evening gowns, some in jeans. But it allows people to be welcomed into shows who would otherwise be intimidated by a dress code.

Just food for thought!

Beth

Veteran

Yes, I would. It's not about fashion sense or style as much as it is about looking professionally competent.

Isabel

Veteran

Wow, this one IS tough. I don't know. I was in the research science field for my entire adult life. Some of the most disheveled, poorly dressed people I have ever met have been doctors. I mean really prestigious researchers, including two Nobel Laureates. But I knew of them BEFORE meeting them, so their appearance didn't bother me. Actually, most professionals that I have gone to that are disheveled or "improperly" dressed, I have known of their reputation ahead of time......

Alternatively, we once hired an impeccably dressed owner of a construction company and the guy turned out to be a crook.

So, I think that in the end, you have to feel comfortable with any professional you are thinking of hiring. I also think that when you take everything into account, you should listen to your gut. If you felt uncomfortable, that is not a good sign. You strike me as a very genuine and tolerant person....so I tend to think that your instincts may have some validity. I tend to think this is not just about how she "looked". Maybe you felt is was a sign of disrespect for you, the client.

PS _ I don't believe in "authority" figures, except police, etc. They are just people with different jobs from us. In fact, there job is to service YOU, that is not authoritative.

MsMary

Veteran

My gut response is to think better of people who are better dressed and put-together. But I think as a matter of actual fact, alaskagirl is right: You really CAN'T tell much of anything about somebody from how they dress, other than how important it is to them that they look professional and put-together.

One of the best lawyers I know looks amazingly like Mimi from "The Drew Carey Show:"

http://images.google.com/image.....8;gs_rfai=

Older lady, overweight, crazy big hair, crazy bad makeup, out-of-style clothing. The first time I saw her I totally didn't take her seriously at all. But guess what? She's amazingly smart and hard-working and dedicated to her clients. And everybody in town knows it, and out-of-towners underestimate her at their peril.

Appearances just aren't important to everybody. For every one of us, who is bought into the "it's important to look good" idea, there's somebody out there who thinks "it's shallow to care about appearances because it's what's inside that counts." And those people can be (and are!) just as competent and kind and whatever as anybody else.

Just my never-miss-an-opportunity-to-overthink-things two cents!

Katiepea

(website)

Veteran

I believe strongly that in any setting, but particularly in a professional setting where people are relying on your expertise, that first impressions do matter. I would say primarily that well fitting clothes coupled with proper grooming are extremely important.

Scruffy hair does not say to me "I'm an intellectual". Rather it conveys the message that "You matter so little to me, I can't be bothered to brush my hair." Blunt. But it's the truth.

I have discovered since being on YLF that you can still look professional yet express your individual style and personality. It just has to be done in the right way and in the right amounts.

Katiepea

(website)

Veteran

PS - I've had to deal with a lot of tradesmen in the past year. I had an interesting conversation with one bloke who gave me the following advice:

"I've learnt from experience to *always* look at the car that they drive when at the worksite or quoting on a job. Ask yourself is it clean? Is it organised? Is there some order to the equipment? Is it properly secured? Or is there rubbish everywhere and stuff all over the place? A car/ute that is an absolute disgrace is a reflection of the person who drives it. It leads me to believe that the tradesman will not take the time and make the effort to complete the job properly. You run a greater risk of a tradie who will take shortcuts."

So there, you go, even amongst some tradies, appearance matters!

Lisa

Veteran

I do judge based on appearances. I know some of the brightest minds have been disheveled messes, but it's a habit. If you are in a service detailed profession (Dr, lawyer, insurance sales etc) I am going to judge whether to use your services based on your appearance. I feel some professions, you know you are dealing with the public daily and should take the time to care about proper grooming, a matching outfit, no wrinkles, etc. For other professions (such as science) I am inclined to give more slack. If someone is say researching in a lab I don't expect them to be as put together as when giving a presentation. I also prefer when someone is in a uniform (even if it's just matching aprons at say the nail salon) versus none. Again I like the feeling of order and caring about yourself, makes me think you will take the time to care about me too.

Sharon

Veteran

Yes.
I think that good grooming is for professionals:
1.A sign of respect for the people you are interacting with
2.An indirect reflection of your attitude to life.

Regardless of someone's fashion choices or budget, if they wear ill-fitting or dirty clothes and don't look like they have made an effort, I would be suspicious that their lack of attention to their personal appearance would translate to a lack of attention to MY needs as their client.

Note that this is not about fashion. The "Mimi" lawyer obviously puts effort into her appearance, even if the outcome is not aesthetically appealing to most people.

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

Unfortunately or not- appearances are often one of the only things that we have to go on. In a professional setting, I absolutely feel less confident in a person who does not have a professional appearance (including fit). If that person can so misjudge their own appearance, what else are they misjudging?

catgirl

Veteran

The interesting conundrum, at least for a lawyer in private practice, is if you are driving, say, a BMW, your client may think, "Wow, this is a highly successful attorney that I should hire" or they may think "Is THAT what I'm paying all this $$$$ for?!?!". What would be your first reaction? I guess it might depend on the kind of law practice, too.

Now I know people are already going to make certain judgments about me based my being brown-skinned, female and petite. It is fun to destroy those assumptions, but sometimes I can use them to my advantage as well. And I look at my wardrobe - at least my work clothes - as part of that strategy. If only I could write it all off on taxes!

Queen Mum

Veteran

haha- a disheveled doctor would not bother me in the least, but I would want my lawyer to look prim and proper. Don't ask me to explain because I have no idea why.

taylor

Veteran

I like my doctor to look like a doctor...white lab coat..not overalls
Hairstylist should look fashionable with current hair and clothes
Lawyers to look like they are suited up for court..in well fitting suits
Fashion stylists to look like Angie

I like my professionals to look like they represent their field properly

Kristen

(website)

Veteran

I agree with Maya on this one: I'm forgiving of those who have good intentions but miss the mark. Many people don't really have an honest understanding how they look or how things fit on them; that's why this forum is here, after all. A lot of us started off that way too!

But that's entirely different than someone who disregards social conventions and wears disrespectful or inappropriate clothing. Tight miniskirt to church, flip-flops to an office, jeans to a wedding, etc. That I do judge, and I don't trust them as much right at first glance.

Anonymous

I can overlook clothing. I'm more tuned in to how a person speaks, how much brainpower they appear to have and how they treat me. Also, if I have the opportunity, I like to see how others treat THEM.

crasdy

Having worked in a large law firm, I've gotten past this. I can think of many lawyers who looked the part but were not the most competent, and an equal number who looked an absolute mess but were brilliant, excellent lawyers.

Come to think of it, my doctor is somewhat of a messy frump, and I think that makes me respect her more - as in "she's too focused on her work to worry that much about what she looks like."

Now I'm worried that I have a bias against people who look pulled together. Hmmm.

Maya

Veteran

Some of the girls I work with wear flipflops all day at work, although they do change if they are meeting a client. I can't excuse them but I also can't blame them at the same time. It's not that they like wearing flipflops--they just have a hard time finding comfy shoes. They don't know about YLF and don't have someone like Angie to do shoe reviews for them!

It's unfortunate because generally they dress very well otherwise.

Queen Mum

Veteran

I don't think i'ts a conscience decision of mine to "not trust somebody" because of how they may or may not be dressed, but first impressions are powerful. A lawyer dressed as BM was describing just wouldn't be resonating well with me. Not so much the ill fitting clothing, as the nail polish and gaudy jewelry.