I am a wheat-growing Asker. LOL

That said, it is important to me to be appropriately dressed, even though I like to stand out within the confines of appropriateness. (So wait... does that make me a rice-grower after all? If appropriateness is one of my main goals?)

And when I ask, I always preface it with "I'm going to ask, but I want you to know it's totally okay if the answer is 'no!'"

Hmm MsMary, the weird thing is I am pretty sure I am a guesser. And I am pretty sure you are a wheat grower through and through!

I'm an Asker. Guessers drive me crazy. Interactions with them feel like a total minefield, take far too much energy, and at the end I still don't know if the answer is yes or no.

And I so enjoyed reading your reply, Jaime. Thanks for the kind words, and I'm reporting for Team Wheat duty at your request. xo

I am both Asker and Guesser depending on the situation I think. It depends on the person/persons I am dealing with. In the place to stay situation I would ask for a recommendation and if the recipient suggests their place I can say yes or no. So, under these circumstances am I an Asker or a Guesser?

Guessing culture raises my blood pressure, but I do feel there are probably some things out there that should not be asked for. Like $5000 out of someone's last $10,000.

My mother, a nisei (Japanese American - born here), is totally a Guesser and it drives me crazy because I am not a mind reader. If I want anything, I can't ask; she has to bestow it on me. When I lived in Japan for a bit during college, I knew it was a guessing culture and I knew my language, incl. body language skills were too rudimentary to figure it all out.

IMHO, the U.S. is too diverse to be a guessing culture. I tend to be reticent and have a hard time being an Asker; cultural conditioning I suppose.

I am mixed on being a rice grower vs. wheat grower. I am okay with sticking out a bit, but I don't want to stick out too much. I've received many comments about having upped my style quotient (since joining YLF btw), but haven't yet received snarky comments from my mother which indicates that I haven't gone too far out on a limb.

Interesting! I’m a rice grower in personality but a wheat grower in fashion. I mostly dress for myself and take the consequences.

I attended a workshop on decision-making where they asked people to start all bunched up in a group, then take a step to the left or right depending on which one of several pairs of “value” words applied to them. For example, independence or interdependence; fairness or harmony; thoughts or feelings, etc. Not a Myers-Briggs thing, but along those lines. At the end, when the room was split up, each group was asked what their stereotypes of the other group would be. On one side were the “sissy commie hippie liberal patchouli-wearing tree-huggers” (the rice-growers in Shevia’s example) and on the other side were the “cold-hearted militant selfish narcissistic opportunists” (or wheat growers). The intent was to show how we judge people based on how much they share our own values.

Nothing to do with Shevia’s point, sorry! But a lot to do with the Asker/Guesser dichotomy.

The more I think about this, the more complex it is.

I'm a rice grower. But I'm rather well disguised as a wheat grower. My family is culturally strange - we generally just live to the beat of a different drummer. Even among our church and homeschool groups, we're generally quite different (quirky? eccentric? I'm not sure what word to use). But I personally do a lot of things with a rice-motivation. I try to fit in with the group I want to fit in to - both fashion wise and other wise. At the same time, in some small ways I try to rebel against the same system - so in that sense, I'm a wheat grower... aak.

Thanks for the introspective question. It's fun to think about!

The asker/guesser thing definitely adds another layer of complexity to the situation. I will add that Israel has a lot of rice growing tendencies culture but is also a strong asker culture. I don't think the rice/wheat grower maps that well with the guesser/asker thing now that I think about it. Hmm.
Alexandra, I am not an asker, but when asked I am quite forthright with my opinions. Perhaps there needs to be another category for non-initiators like me.
Deb, yes I see asker/guesser might be more problematic than wheat/rice.
Rachy you are equal parts wisdom and humor.
DonnaF my reticence is more personality than culture driven, but it is actually a handicap in an asker culture. You are straddling the two and it is challenging.
Amy you are fascinating.
Angie you made my day, as always!

Thanks everyone for the thought provoking discussion!

What a cool concept.
I think, in my perception, I'm a rice grower - I think the building blocks of my clothing are firly mundane, and I do not like having my attire/ presentation remarked on, as a rule. Having said that, I think I am perceived as a wheat grower, because it seems my perception isn't conistent with the way others interpret my presentation.
I wear what makes me happiest, but I don't like when it draws attention. I just want to wear what I want to wear - it's not about others, it's about the colour/ texture/ shape/ construction makes me feel good. And I don't realise that it's unusual until someone comments on it -- it's all mall-type store wear, for the most part, so it doesn't seem like it's that far outside the norm. And yet, it often seems to get that sort of feedback of being unusual, despite being from J Crew or Express or whatnot.

I don't know what that means, overall.

Wow, this is so interesting. I think I (and many people in general) are a Russian-doll hybrid. That is, from a macro perspective, we are all very similar looking, indistinguishable. For someone more ensconced in the culture, I definitely stand out. I have crazy hair. Within my social group, I try to fit in - that is, keep up with the style/fashion/trends of my peers. Finally, deep down, I know and hope that I am a unique snowflake. So would that be rice > wheat > rice > wheat?