Are these too "young" for 53? - YouLookFab Forum

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Are these too "young" for 53?

Peri

Veteran

Can you tell how difficult this is?! I see one post asking if shoes are too old looking and here is mine asking if dresses are too young looiking.

I was reading a list of what to avoid so you don't look like "mutton dressed as lamb" and one thing was dresses with a ruffle hem or a bow. Two out of my three summer dresses have a ruffle hem, and one has a bow! And their definition was over 35!!! Ack! They were my backups for the crazy outdoor August in the south wedding!

I am a youthful 53 but no one would mistake me for even 40. Possibly 48 on a good day. Do these read as too girlish?

http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/do.....ts-_-1_7_D

http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/el.....ts-_-1_2_C

General

25 replies

Latest reply was from Jaime

Glory

Veteran

Peri, I am totally clueless about the age appropriate thing as you know since we have talked about it. I wouldn't want to steer you wrong. I like both dresses with a small edge given to 2 because I am a huge black/white fan.
Am bumping so the experts can weigh in.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

It depends a bit on your personal style, Peri. I think fit and flare can read as a bit girlish on anyone, so you have to play it carefully. But if the style suits your figure type, neither of these dresses is overly jeune fille in my view -- the strong colours and pattern help to prevent that. The second one (due to its higher neckline) seems less girlish than the first, and might be more flattering depending on your body type, of course. But this might be a peculiar sensitivity of my own. I have suddenly reached the Nora Ephron stage; I don't feel bad about my neck, exactly, but I don't care to bare my upper chest much. Then again, I am not endowed, and this makes the aging more noticeable.

Gaylene

Veteran

I think arbitrary rules like "no ruffles over 40" are ridiculous. Looking age appropriate depends on context, execution, and personal style--not on a design detail or a specific item.

My inclination has always been to veer towards a sophisticated interpretation of a trend or look to make it age appropriate. That keeps me out of teenage territory but still allows me play around with styles I like. Keep your hair, shoes, and accessories in the adult world and both of those dresses will, in my opinion, be perfectly age appropriate. Now, if you were planning to wear either of those dresses with pigtails and flat Mary-Janes...

K. Period.

Veteran

I totally agree with Gaylene! I wear ruffles and bows both at times. In fact, I even recently wore bows with short shorts and I'm over 35 for sure. I think it all just depends on how you wear them. If you want a "no-brainer" approach to over-40 fashion, then yes, these are trickier items to steer away from. They require some thought to be done right (I think at any age). However, I think excess (too many frills and ruffles and bows) and overly sexy/revealing cuts are where you get into mutton dressed as lamb territory. I am sure that your dresses are probably lovely and perfectly age appropriate! I have never seen you post anything that wasn't entirely tasteful.

As far as these dresses, I like either. I agree the black and white has a slight advantage to me. It looks a bit more sophisticated and is likely to be more wearable for you for longer. However, that's only if you love it.

Kim

Veteran

LOL Gaylene!

I heard somewhere (don't you just love that) that if the print looks something a child would wear (think Hello Kitty or cartoon characters) then you might want to avoid it. I don't wear a lot of print, but both of these dresses I would wear. (I'm ONLY 51 though...LOL) YMMV As for the style, fit and flare has been around forever, so I don't delegate it to a certain age group.

Adelfa

Veteran

I think you're good with either. I would wear them. I'm 52 and I think I dress in an age-appropriate way!

rachylou

Veteran

I like the blue fit and flare dress better, but I do think it reads girlish. Mostly because it's above the knee. Kate Middleton wears them short like that at 30 and I admit it bothers me. On the other hand, everyone wears their skirts short now, so I don't think it's a question of age. I'd say it's more a matter of gravitas.

MsMary

Veteran

I'm 54 and I would wear the second one, probably with a jacket. The first one looks a little young to me because it's pretty bare on top.

I am generally a huge proponent of "wear what you love and don't worry about age." But for some reason this style gives me pause. Maybe because I feel like it is a slightly girly look and even if it's flattering to me, I'd still be a 50-something woman wearing a dress that would be equally or more appropriate for a 20-something. And that's just not what I'm going for. I like to project a little more gravitas.

Does that even make sense?

Kim

Veteran

Both those dresses are probably longer than you think. They are 38 inches and on 5'6 me that would make them mid knee length or a bit longer. (36 would hit at the top of my knee cap, my "upper" self imposed limit.) There models are probably about 6 feet tall so the dress looks very short.

CocoLion

(website)

Veteran

I agree with Gaylene, it's all about how you style these. I like them both equally and would choose based on which neckline suits you better. I would advise looking for a better belt for each of these as sometimes the belts sold with items are cheap. Since this is a wedding, you might want to up the accessories a notch.

http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/ha.....ersonalize
http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/an.....iveSearch-

Tory Burch belts are gorgeous and add so much class! http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/to.....rsonalized

I think this one is so cute, on sale and the little bow echos the girly aspect of the dress without being OTT. However some others might think this is not AA (age appropriate). http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/ha.....ch-persona
http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/la.....Predictive
http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/to.....n=Predicti

Gaylene

Veteran

Hmm, it's interesting that, at 64, I'd have no issues with the neckline on the first dress because my neck, shoulders, and upper arms are still in decent shape. My coverage area is my creaky, lumpy knees which is one reason why I gravitate more and more to pants these days.

I think age appropriate dressing really begins with an objective assessment of one's own body shape and how it is changing as the years go by. Because of my athletic, IT shape, I never looked girlish even when I was a young woman so I doubt that wearing a dress like the first one with heels and my hair in a short, sleek bob would send me into that territory even now. On the other hand, my short, blonde colleague could easily veer into that little-girl look in a fit and flare style. That's why age appropriate dressing gets tricky and why I think it's hard to categorize something without seeing it styled on a particular person.

Anonymous

There's a lot of great advice here. What about the dresses you already own? Do you want to post those? Maybe they're not as bad as you thought. A sculptural ruffle or bow can look very sophisticated.

MovingFashionForward

I would wear both if I were 53 (unless they did not suit my shape, perhaps?). I really don't see any issue with them, unless you feel silly in them, which would detract from the feel of the outfits.

I do think that many of these 'rules' should be questioned, because they seem so very arbitrary.

For example, the rule that we should all become ladylike in dress after a certain age is ridiculous. If you don't have a ladylike personality you should dress more for your own individual personality than some silly rule that assumes we are all the same when we aren't. I personally LOVE to see older women positively LOVING what they are wearing. The joie de vivre shows in their eyes and their smiles, and that so much improves the look of any outfit, don't you think?

Wear what you love, and enjoy whatever you wear! That is what I think is a better rule. But I realise not everyone agrees with me.

Sarah
xx

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I may be the wrong person to ask about this since I'm also in the "wear what you love" camp, but I don't think either of those dresses reads particularly young. I would take into account figure flattery and whether they fit an individual's overall style, as others have mentioned. Neither of them seem too "girly" even though the silhouette is feminine.

I think the ultimate test is putting them on your body and seeing how you feel and look in them!

DonnaF

Veteran

Hi, Peri;

I think *rules* and edicts from on high tend to be ridiculous. And maybe that's because I have never been one to wear bows and ruffles at any time in my life. I am 60, and both of those dresses look fine to me. I really like the blue one. Do note that it is supposed to be .75" longer than the other one and it is cut large in the bust area. The black and white one could easily look frumpy IMHO which is why I prefer the blue one.

Fit'n'flares (and sheaths) can be awfully hot. I forgot your body type. Can you wear shift/sack dresses? They would probably be the coolest.

Peri

Veteran

Thanks for all the opinions. I think I will order and try on...thanks in part to Nordstoms free/free policy, yay. If anyone has other suggestions to add to my cart, I'm open.

Suz, I'm an IT I guess...thin with broad shoulders...but also a 32DD...so open necklines have always been better for me. I didn't even think about the blue one being bare...as long as it isn't tank style that shows so much underarm area I'm fine with showing some neck and chest! High necks are usually what I balk at.

Donna, the heat is definitely an issue! For comfort I would love something more flowy, but never feel right in things that have no shape...I think then you see shoulders and bust and not the rest of me and I look much more bulky.

Such a difficult hunt! I may take Claire's suggestion and try to post pictures of the three choices I have at home.

sarah

Veteran

I think these are both great dresses, and if they are not too short IRL and they suit your style, they're perfect.

unfrumped

Veteran

I think you'll know when you try them. That has been my experience. They may be shorter than you think because reference is size 8. If the waist sits a bit high or the skirt stands out, that also reads more girlie.

Mia

Veteran

I would try them both if you think they suit your figure and your style. I quite like both of them. No way are these too young unless perhaps they hit mid-thigh on you or turn out to show more than you are comfortable with but that is an ageless question imo.

Also, I have a friend in her 60's whose signature item in her style is bows. She somehow manages to pull it off and it suits her personality. Nothing too twee or little girly but in a sophisticated way. So, arbitrary rules begone!

Would love to see these on you.

Anonymous

I would wear the second dress at over 60. The first one might be a bit harder to wear. A bow tied in the back or tiered full skirts seem more dated than juvenile, depending on the fabric, but might work with the right styling. Posting your dresses will give you confidence in your ultimate choice.

Mary Beth (formerly LBD)

(website)

Veteran

I don't think they are too young for 53! I think they are fresh and pretty and very summery.

To my mind, it is wrong to make a blanket statement that "at age <x>, you cannot wear bows or ruffles, or a certain length of skirt, or a certain type of shoe". We don't come with expiration dates, and certainly there are an infinite variety of bows and ruffles out there. So if you find something that makes you feel happy and comfortable in your own skin when you put it on, I say wear it, whether you're 18 or 80.

Vildy

Veteran

I happen to just like the fabric/print of the first dress better. I saw the same article you did about the skirt ruffles and I agree that a bottom ruffle that flares out from the dress can look too childish. But if the fabric has some weight, then it ought to fall nicely. I don't agree at all that a fitted bodice and a full skirt look young. I guess I'm old enough to remember when these were typical for dresses and seemed conservative. Anna Wintour has a uniform of a print dress and she's no girl.

Caro in Oz

Veteran

I agree with Gaylene, Janet & others - how they look on a particular body & how they are accessorised would be the deciding factors for me.

If I tried to follow all the "rules" for my body type & age I would be a very unhappy camper

deb

Veteran

At 53 I wore this type of dress. Now at 59, it does not work for me. I think it is because my style choices have changed. Try them on and see how you feel in them. If you feel awkward, then they may not be right for you.

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

I agree strongly with Gaylene - age alone just doesn't tell that much. It depends on all the particulars that make you up and age is just one of them.