Are these shoes OK for a funeral? - YouLookFab Forum

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Are these shoes OK for a funeral?

Anonymous

Hey there,
This is just a quick question about whether the shoes in 'Finds' are appropriate for a funeral. I tossed my existing funeral shoes as they were getting ratty, and so these are now the only dressy shoes I own. These are my Christmas party shoes

Some salient points:
1. My current funeral capsule consists of Banana Republic navy sloan cropped pants and a light blue J Crew Jackie cardigan. Perhaps a longer pant would make this shoe appropriate?

2. My parents' generation is in their 80's and 90's and I will be attending funerals fairly frequently.

Thanks!

Lula Calf Hair T-Strap Pump

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22 replies

Latest reply was from

Meow

Veteran

I personally like to go more conservative at a funeral. That being said, I have worn similar shoes to a funeral because I lacked anything else. I did wear mine with longer pants so the shoe wasn't too noticeable.

Thirkellgirl

Veteran

I wouldn't wear them to a funeral. That said, I attended a Greek Orthodox funeral a couple years ago and those women had all their furs and diamonds and high heels on. I felt pretty plain in my LBD and pumps and pearls.

Jenn

(website)

Veteran

I think they'd be okay for a church memorial, but those heels don't look grass-friendly if a funeral were to involve any kind of graveside or cemetery service.

Anonymous

My family is formal, and very WASPY but fairly non-judgy about clothing (depression era people seem to be this way). Nobody really cares what I wear but I still want to be very appropriate, for my own sense of pride, if that makes sense.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

I think they are just fine.

Diana

Veteran

I think they are fine, but I do agree that they'd be difficult for a graveside service. I usually just wear my dressy booties or my pointy kitten heels for funerals. Church/funeral home services are always cold.

ETA: do you have black or navy ballet flats? Those would work fine too.

Joy

Veteran

Joining the choir that says these could be a disaster with those heels sinking into the ground if there is a graveside service. Unless you have an escort able and willing to hold you up, you might look for something with less heel. Even if you don't intend to go to the graveside, you often end up there because a close relative or friend wants and needs your support.

Colette

Veteran

Cute shoes. I think they are fine and I would wear them. But I always bring a grass friendly pair of shoes for graveside services. I just change in the car and then back again for the luncheon.

Cerinda

Veteran

Totally agreeing with comments about heels and grass: not functional, but they are appropriate. So I wouldn't use my scanty budget to replace them, at least not yet.

Zibbets

Veteran

Absolutely appropriate.
Grieve with hope and wear your pretty shoes.

rachylou

Veteran

They're closed heel and toe, so that's ok. But they are awful spiky. Agree they may get uncomfortable graveside and reception side.

Anonymous

Thanks everyone!

This upcoming service will be indoors, so I'm fine on that front, at least for now. They're fine to stand in. I made sure the toe box was big enough.

They seem a little flashy, that's the only issue.

Diana, yes I do have a pair of ballet flats but they're more like slippers...I think they're too casual. Thanks for the ideas on outdoor-appropriate footwear.
Joy, yes, these shoes would be good for aerating the lawn

rachylou

Veteran

Eh... Now that you say flashy... I think I might agree on that. Ie, I'd be reluctant to wear them to a Jewish or Catholic or Buddhist or Anglican funeral. Maybe a memorial or a Baptist funeral...

JAileen

Veteran

I thought funeral clothing was supposed to be "sober", not look like I have something better to go to afterwards. However, I think these shoes are ok. They look like you are dressing up out of respect for the deceased. Also, I can't even remember the last time I went to a graveside service. It seems like people are just holding memorial services these days. Maybe that's a regional thing. Can you stand in them for an hour or two? Because you may have to do that after the service, for a potluck.

Anonymous

Thanks JAileen.
Yes, it is mostly memorial services for me too. There was one service where I was invited to go to the grave after an indoor service though so it can happen.
I think I'll bite the bullet and get a pair of low dressy heels.

Elle

Veteran

While I think those would be fine, I think low dressy heels are better. Some of these services may be at the gravesite and some may involve very conservative people. You probably want to go low-priced on these since you (hopefully) won't need to wear them all that often

Echo

Veteran

I do not think these shoes are at all inappropriate, though they might be more somber if worn with some version of black hose/trouser socks, simply to reduce the contrast between the straps and the foot. But I also agree about having a pair of flats if there would be graveside services to attend.

Anonymous

Echo, the black hose is the perfect solution. They'll be more demure that way, which is really all I want. I can put off buying low heel for now!

cjh

(website)

Veteran

My choice would be not to wear these as to me, they say "party." But I have a terrible poison eye for things that people wear to funerals just because they are black: body-con, club wear for one example of what I have seen. In my neck of the woods, I believe it would be more appropriate to wear business casual (even in seasonal colors and not black) than dressy evening party wear. But each family, locale, ethnic background, religious affiliation, etc., will have their own standards and/or comfort zones, and really not sure any of us can give you a good answer for your own situations.

Thirkellgirl

Veteran

I don't think black hose is going to help make these anything other than party shoes, but if you feel comfortable that way, go for it!

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I think they're fine, as long as there is no requirement to walk across grass or unpaved ground. As long as the rest of the outfit is somber, I don't think these necessarily read as "party" -- the closed toe keeps the look appropriate. If they were open-toe, I'd think differently.

Anonymous

Thanks for your honest feedback, Thirkellgirl and cjh. You too Janet.